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RE: Respect, and how we email. - 10/24/2007 6:15:43 AM

wisteriaV

Posts: 438
Joined: 3/17/2005
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I don't do the role play games online. I was raised with manners of Sir and MaaM...unless otherwise shown I use those to terms to everyone. I am owned by one man that is called Master when we are alone and Sir in front of others . I will never ever call any woman Mistress because of my personal views. I will in my e-mails do the same thing.Who I am online is pretty much how you would see me real time.

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RE: Respect, and how we email. - 10/24/2007 6:34:46 AM

batshalom

Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LDRandAstarte

Hmm... interesting. I call people Sir and Ma'am every day, perfect strangers whom I have only talked to on the phone that very instant. I guess they havn't earned it and I should stop that practice.

Being from the southern US, it is ... was ... normal for me to say "ma'am" and "sir" ... but in Israel, the terms are used tongue-in-cheek for those who are acting ... mm ... very fine indeed (at least in their own minds). Hard for me to break ... but ah! I do not want to insult anyone. (Who'd have ever thought using polite terms would be insulting???)

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RE: Respect, and how we email. - 10/24/2007 6:37:01 AM

brattysarahjane

Posts: 36
Joined: 6/13/2007
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As a newbie sub, i don't always know the protocol when addressing a potential Mistress. So, i have been calling them Ma'am. if i'm wrong, i would love to know instead of getting mad emails back.

bratty sarah jane

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Post #: 63

RE: Respect, and how we email. - 10/24/2007 6:38:28 AM

dvart

Posts: 110
Joined: 10/26/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Communication is key, open communication.

I totally agree with that and I very much want to get to know the person. However I find a marker for the fact that she is a sub useful. For example many subs use "i" rather than "I" and I appreciate that and it certainly doesn't make them less of a person in my eyes.

I haven't had a long conversation with someone who is already owned, but I think that would be different because I would have to respect the rights of her owner.

< Message edited by dvart -- 10/24/2007 6:39:11 AM >

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RE: Respect, and how we email. - 10/24/2007 6:41:44 AM

laurell3

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Well it's clear from your profile dvart that you aren't just puffing up, but I still wouldn't call you Sir in beginning/negotiation/getting-to-know you conversation. However, that's just me.

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RE: Respect, and how we email. - 10/24/2007 11:09:27 AM

TheMsScarlet

Posts: 47
Joined: 10/7/2007
From: London - Bristol - Surrey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LDRandAstarte

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: LDRandAstarte

And therein lies the problem (or one of them anyway) with out society today!
I was raised to treat everyone with respect, until they have proven that they don't deserve it!

mmmmmmmmmmmm interesting... and this is where I think the problem lies in society today...

Everyone expects "Respect" and sees no need to EARN IT!

So you are saying, like the others, that if they have not earned (proven their worthiness) then no one deserves respect?

Following that logic; 99.999% of the people on this planet do not deserve your respect?

Since only those who have proven their worthiness through their philanthropic, noble and selfless actions, unflagging displays of honesty and integrity and/or whatever other criteria you deem to be sufficient for you to bestow this honor upon them, deserve respect.
The rest of the world, that 99.999% of which you have no knowledge, are beneath you in that respect. (Websters : an act of giving particular attention : consideration / didn't want you to mistake that one.)

Sorry but no matter what kind of spin you try to put on that attitude, falls on deaf ears. That is a problem with the society today.

Maybe I'm getting old, but my profile states Mistress Scarlet as my name. I would not address someone else as anything other than their name. You can even drop the Scarlet, but I am a Pro-Domme. People approach my profile in a business context. On those sites where I have my personal profile I use my nick name, which people are also welcome to use. I treat everybody I come across with respect until they prove that they don't deserve it. Funny enough I get a lot more respect back that way, too.

Unfortunately a lot of people, from the gum chewing shop assistant to the gossiping receptionist who pays visitors no attention seems to think that they should be entitled to respect first. So in a way I can understand why people don't offer respect first, because theyre no longer likely to be in a situation where they get the normal, everyday respect due to a normal, everyday person.

But you'll have to excuse me if I taught my son differently, and if I choose to offer respect to others until they disappoint me. And I shall choose to treat with utter contempt those who "whatever" me, those who talk to me past mouthfulls of food, those who invade my personal space or spit on me while they're talking, and also for those that write me one line grunts in txt spk or who don't fill in their profiles, give me no information to work on and then become abusive when you ask them to go away.

There appears to be no room at all in pop-culture for good manners, and that's a great shame.

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RE: Respect, and how we email. - 10/24/2007 11:26:59 AM

LostMyself

Posts: 72
Joined: 9/4/2007
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My former master and mistress told me I answer to nobody but them.. and even though I'm not owned now, a message in which a dom acted like I should submit to him just because he sent me a message would NOT be well-received.
Got one horrid message from one describing a first "meeting" in which the master is not to be questioned in any way and only the submissive is being scrutinized. My response was not kind..
And, no offense, people like that are one reason subs don't bother to respond to every dom who sends a message.. Heck, when I was owned I got messages from doms saying "yea, but I'm better".. seems pointless to respond to a dom we're not interested in when they're just gonna write back with an argument.

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Post #: 67

RE: Respect, and how we email. - 10/24/2007 1:30:33 PM

SeeksOnlyOne

Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Goddess20

My personal preference is Goddess.

In My sessions I have them call me, my Goddess. (I'm thinking of starting a cult! )

Its what I like and have My subs call me.

On the first mail I let respectful names (Mistress, Miss, Ma'am etc) slide, I don't like them but just for the first mail I let it go but then subs/slaves are informed that I'm not miss, I'm a Domme, not a teacher. I'm not Ma'am, I'm 20, not 120! And not mistress as I believe it is below me.

I'm Goddess, Superior Goddess or The Heavenly One.

I did write this on My profile but a few people thought it was funny to call me ma'am as I hate it so much *BLOCKED*.

And I don't address subs at all!

I also say when addressing me (as in them saying You, Yours, You're etc) they capitalise it.

And when addressing themselves (as in them saying me, i, myself etc) they do not capitalise it.

But as I said this is My personal preference. I'm sure other people would find that offensive.

i just cant help my self....i have to respond to you....you are a goddess.....i am impressed ,more than i can ever begin to explain....

ok, i lied....i just had to refer to you, the goddess, without using caps for your name.....i mean, capping every pronoun made me scream and it was type or kick the dog...and i love this dog....

i hope this was done with the respect i meant it to show.

back to your regular programming...

< Message edited by SeeksOnlyOne -- 10/24/2007 1:31:33 PM >

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RE: Respect, and how we email. - 10/24/2007 6:10:12 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LDRandAstarte

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

mmmmmmmmmmmm interesting... and this is where I think the problem lies in society today...

Everyone expects "Respect" and sees no need to EARN IT!

So you are saying, like the others, that if they have not earned (proven their worthiness) then no one deserves respect?

Following that logic; 99.999% of the people on this planet do not deserve your respect?

Since only those who have proven their worthiness through their philanthropic, noble and selfless actions, unflagging displays of honesty and integrity and/or whatever other criteria you deem to be sufficient for you to bestow this honor upon them, deserve respect.
The rest of the world, that 99.999% of which you have no knowledge, are beneath you in that respect. (Websters : an act of giving particular attention : consideration / didn't want you to mistake that one.)

Sorry but no matter what kind of spin you try to put on that attitude, falls on deaf ears. That is a problem with the society today.

No.. actually .. .you are making an assumption that anyone that doesn't receive my respect is considered beneath me. Just because I Don't give Respect away cheaply doesn't equate to me having an opposite view of everyone else in the world that I have not interacted with. People have the ability to earn my Respect or my Contempt... but I am not so causal in my judgements to give Respect or Contempt without an opportunity to interact and observe the person. Those other 99.99 % of the world are just that other people that I have no judgement of one way or the other.

But thanks for showing that you have a close-minded attitude on the subject as well as projecting your own beliefs on to others without due consideration and/or discussion of what their position actually is and what it entails for them. I find it ironic that you infer that I would see others as beneath me that have not earn my respect, but yet it is you that show a lack of respect to someone you don't know. Or maybe I quickly failed to maintain your self-imposed criteria that maintains that unwavering respect that you apparently give everyone.

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RE: Respect, and how we email. - 10/24/2007 6:23:28 PM

ownedgirlie

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~ Fast Reply ~

My thoughts on respect have always pretty much been the same. I try to be respectful to other people, whether I respect them or not. Being respectful to others is a way of respecting myself. I feel you can tell someone what you think respectfully, while still retaining self-respect. I do not always succeed at this as I am human after all, but things like talking down to people, insult hurling, ignoring people, and misusing information shared in confidence are not my cup of tea. There are plenty of people I may not have the greatest respect for, given how they represent themselves (which is an opinion that is always subject to change), and there are people who used to be in my inner circle but who now are not. Either way, losing respect for someone does not equate to being disrespectful. I don't like the ugly feeling I get inside when I've gone down that road.

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RE: Respect, and how we email. - 10/24/2007 6:32:14 PM

KnightofMists

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In my world... being Respectful is not the same as being Polite

Being polite to others is the Respect I show to myself and my principles.

Being Respectful to others is the adapting some of their preferences into the interaction between us.

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RE: Respect, and how we email. - 10/24/2007 6:49:27 PM

angelic

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Once upon a time, i used to call everyone Sir or Ma'am. my former master required it of me and old habits can be difficult to break. i called many Sir, but only one master.

However, nowadays, Doms/Masters are lucky if i do not just randomly call them assholes. (i managed to break said habit).

And do not get me started on those that think they deserve to be called anything other than their given name or their screen name just because they have Dom/Master (or Goddess) listed in their profile or title.

< Message edited by angelic -- 10/24/2007 6:50:56 PM >

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RE: Respect, and how we email. - 10/24/2007 7:05:23 PM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

However, nowadays, Doms/Masters are lucky if i do not just randomly call them assholes. (i managed to break said habit).

And do not get me started on those that think they deserve to be called anything other than their given name or their screen name just because they have Dom/Master (or Goddess) listed in their profile or title.

You have my Expressed Permission to address me as Asshole!

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RE: Respect, and how we email. - 10/24/2007 7:49:23 PM

ownedgirlie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

In my world... being Respectful is not the same as being Polite

Being polite to others is the Respect I show to myself and my principles.

Being Respectful to others is the adapting some of their preferences into the interaction between us.

Hmmmm....food for fodder.

Using the above, I am still respectful to those I do not respect...take my boss at work, for example :) But I'll think on this a bit.

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