RE: Borderline personality disorder

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InnocentYoungSub -> RE: Borderline personality disorder (10/30/2007 2:29:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: InnocentYoungSub quote: ORIGINAL: RedheadGirlNY I have a sibling who is BPD and who has demonstrated all of those behaviors at one time or another. On the advice of a mental health expert, all contact was cut off from the sibling some eight years ago. Sad, but life improved immensely for those of us who disengaged from the person. So you abandoned your sibling? That seems really awful. Is that supposed to help your sibling?

sexybrat -> RE: Borderline personality disorder (10/30/2007 2:34:28 PM)
I so do not agree with abandoning people that have problems. I have BPD and have not been abandoned by my friends or my family. I have gone to a dr and now have my problem under control. She should have been helped not abandoned

wisteriaV -> RE: Borderline personality disorder (10/30/2007 7:08:36 PM)
One of the biggest BPD traits is that they fear real or imagined abandonment. So by purposely abandoning your sibling you not only help reinforce her BPD but the so called professional that suggested that concept should get something for their anal glocoma. That is the most assinine thing you can do to a BPD. Giving them rules and guidelines is what is necessary for them to be stable and to help promote healing...why do I know? Read up on the stuff I posted a site for it earlier here.[8\|]

BrokenSaint -> RE: Borderline personality disorder (10/30/2007 8:32:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19 Everyone: So what do you think of someone who thinks all subs are BPD?? I am just wanting opinions on this? Who thinks its true and who thinks its bull? It's bull. I would not make an estimate of prevalence in the sub population without several studies to back it up at least. I'm not aware of any studies which do show this.

NControlofU -> RE: Borderline personality disorder (10/30/2007 8:38:10 PM)
There are many more people with mental or emotional problems than there are people into BDSM. Not all the people with mental disorders are submissive or dominant and, not all who are submissive or dominant have mental problems. Some do, some don't but not all.

laurell3 -> RE: Borderline personality disorder (10/31/2007 6:47:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: InnocentYoungSub quote: ORIGINAL: RedheadGirlNY I have a sibling who is BPD and who has demonstrated all of those behaviors at one time or another. On the advice of a mental health expert, all contact was cut off from the sibling some eight years ago. Sad, but life improved immensely for those of us who disengaged from the person. So you abandoned your sibling? That seems really awful. If anyone in one's life has problems to the extent that they are actively creating havoc, being emotionally abusive and continually lashing out on others, it's never a bad idea to limit your contact with them, including siblings. I'm sure it was an "awful" decision to have to make, I know it was for me with my own sibling. Am I awful for limiting her contact with me when she is emotionally abusive and refuses to get help? No, I'm healthy for doing so. I don't know Redheadgirl's situation, nor do you Innocent or wisteria, but I sure can imagine situations where it's completely appropriate to walk away from a family member and healthy to do so.

Celeste43 -> RE: Borderline personality disorder (10/31/2007 7:19:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: InnocentYoungSub quote: ORIGINAL: InnocentYoungSub quote: ORIGINAL: RedheadGirlNY I have a sibling who is BPD and who has demonstrated all of those behaviors at one time or another. On the advice of a mental health expert, all contact was cut off from the sibling some eight years ago. Sad, but life improved immensely for those of us who disengaged from the person. So you abandoned your sibling? That seems really awful. Is that supposed to help your sibling? No, it's supposed to help her. And yes, sometimes the person will refuse to get help as long as others are enabling their behavior. It's called tough love. I know an elderly woman who has a restraining order against her daughter with BPD because that daughter has driven by her house and shot into the window. She makes threats against her mother's life several times a year. She refuses to admit she has a problem, despite the fact that at 30some she can't keep a job or a place to live. She blames everything on her mother. Should an elderly woman give over all her social security income to the ill daughter with murderous tendencies, putting herself on the street? And how would that help anyone? Sometimes people will not accept help, and in those cases, the only person you can help is yourself.

wisteriaV -> RE: Borderline personality disorder (10/31/2007 5:34:32 PM)
No laurell3 I dont know the situation but I have studied BPD and know of the most widely accepted treatment options and how Dr. Otto Kernburg has developed a treatment program that has shown to benefit those with BPD. The basis for the treatment is structure not rejection of the person. Therefore keep your view about me and what you think about me to yourself.Tyvm

Mercurialdame -> RE: Borderline personality disorder (10/31/2007 6:31:37 PM)
I work in psych with CBT, predominantly with those that suffer BPD. He's right, they do push/pull. They are intense. They find sustaining relationships really difficult. And the carers/loved ones will attest to this. They are often so emotionally scarred, that their coping skills for their own survival are at the detriment of themselves and those around them, including offspring. Sadly, the next generation of clients. Stop walking on egg shells, is a marvelous book for those living with a BPD in their life. However, bdsm is not psych therapy. And the way a borderline responds, is often unpredicatable, and therapy is long and arduous for them. Not something a quick fix from his dom juice will sort! Wanker. Jesus, where do these idiots get off? He sounds like he'd enjoy and seek out a BPD. Now that says a lot about him, not you honey. He's a rescuer. Your his damsel in distress. Bless! Personally, id not get on the wrong side of a borderline having a episode, which is where he's heading. If anyone out there is ever watching when that happens, i'll pay for the video! And provide the popcorn to anyone else who likes to see a grown man cry.

laurell3 -> RE: Borderline personality disorder (10/31/2007 8:14:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wisteriaV No laurell3 I dont know the situation but I have studied BPD and know of the most widely accepted treatment options and how Dr. Otto Kernburg has developed a treatment program that has shown to benefit those with BPD. The basis for the treatment is structure not rejection of the person. Therefore keep your view about me and what you think about me to yourself.Tyvm opinions, treatments, studies, diagnosis....are only as good as the facts you have to make such determinations. In this case we have next to none, including whether the person in question is even getting help or amenable to any suggestion about diagnosis, treatment, etc., but yet the poster is diagnosed, criticised and dismissed for making a healthy decision for themselves based on professional recommendations of someone that actually does know the situation? Nah, sorry, can't keep that to myself....it's just silly assumption with zero basis.

BlindUnknown -> RE: Borderline personality disorder (11/2/2007 6:24:29 AM)
<OP> "Most people in the "lifestyle" were victims of abuse" Possible... My own story: i have Attachment Disorder. Scientifically speaking, i have a "Disorganized" attachment, and since that isn't its own category really, i am combined with "fearful avoidant" and "ambivalent". And a slew of other things, but primarily that, and let me explain what that means in simple terms: i am clingy, i am jealous, i am very 'people-pleaser' oriented when i have a partner, i am a wreck when i even -think- i upset my partner, i break down and cry, and am TOTALLY inconsolable, if my partner comes and hugs me, tries to comfort me, i feel worse and even more inferior and cry harder. i have a HUGE inferiority complex with people i feel close to. And i cling to anything, and cling very quickly. i can be totally in love and emotionally dependent on a person. If that person is gone for even a weeks time, say a trip, or heavy schoolwork, and there is a 'replacement' person around, i will cling to the one who is around (and i have done so in the past =\ as hard as i tried not to). i also can't feel the difference between pain and pleasure. They are both the same, i have to look down to confirm i am being kissed or hit. i've been told this is nothing physical, it's all in my head. i'm not -really- a masochist, i never had a chance to say no. Why's this? i hate my caregiver. My primary caregiver was my mother. i hate her guts. And i know she did sacrifice quite a bit for me, at least, once college arrived, but i dont care, i frickin hate the ground she walks on. i never got attached to her as an infant, nor as a child, not even as a teenager when she finally decided to do some parenting and not just use me as a stress ball. That's a long story. Since this is an "abnormal" preference (back to d/s) it's safe to assume most of us here have abnormal psychology with some kind of linking factor. So, it's probably a cut and paste email, he could have sent it to ANY other person on this site and would have the same likelihood of being right/recieving a response =P

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Borderline personality disorder (11/2/2007 7:32:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BlindUnknown <OP> "Most people in the "lifestyle" were victims of abuse" Possible... My own story: i have Attachment Disorder. Scientifically speaking, i have a "Disorganized" attachment, and since that isn't its own category really, i am combined with "fearful avoidant" and "ambivalent". And a slew of other things, but primarily that, and let me explain what that means in simple terms: i am clingy, i am jealous, i am very 'people-pleaser' oriented when i have a partner, i am a wreck when i even -think- i upset my partner, i break down and cry, and am TOTALLY inconsolable, if my partner comes and hugs me, tries to comfort me, i feel worse and even more inferior and cry harder. i have a HUGE inferiority complex with people i feel close to. And i cling to anything, and cling very quickly. i can be totally in love and emotionally dependent on a person. If that person is gone for even a weeks time, say a trip, or heavy schoolwork, and there is a 'replacement' person around, i will cling to the one who is around (and i have done so in the past =\ as hard as i tried not to). i also can't feel the difference between pain and pleasure. They are both the same, i have to look down to confirm i am being kissed or hit. i've been told this is nothing physical, it's all in my head. i'm not -really- a masochist, i never had a chance to say no. Why's this? i hate my caregiver. My primary caregiver was my mother. i hate her guts. And i know she did sacrifice quite a bit for me, at least, once college arrived, but i dont care, i frickin hate the ground she walks on. i never got attached to her as an infant, nor as a child, not even as a teenager when she finally decided to do some parenting and not just use me as a stress ball. That's a long story. Since this is an "abnormal" preference (back to d/s) it's safe to assume most of us here have abnormal psychology with some kind of linking factor. So, it's probably a cut and paste email, he could have sent it to ANY other person on this site and would have the same likelihood of being right/recieving a response =P I completely disagree with you on your feeling of a cut and paste being able to diagnose anyone here. The point is NO ONE should be making arm chair diagnosis on anyone. You can not and it is a total disregard and a disrespect to think that you can diagnose someone off a profile. if someone is qualified to make a diagnosis then they are a trained professional that has done extensive and lengthy in person assessment of the person that is being diagnosed.

laurell3 -> RE: Borderline personality disorder (11/2/2007 7:54:39 AM)
That isn't exactly what he said. Although BlindUnknown assuming it's "abnormal" for everyone might be misleading. I don't know what the hell "normal" is, and most competent professionals I know would agree that's an unknown "them" goal and it's not healthy to want to achieve it. There are many here that have walked a hard road and are on the other side and are competent, healthy, functional, happy adults that have kink in their lives. That's not "abnormal".

shudokan -> RE: Borderline personality disorder (11/2/2007 10:53:42 AM)
"Unless he's a psychologist (which he obviously isn't or he wouldn't be analyzing you from his armchair) he needs to shut his pie hole about psychological issues. He's going to ressssscuuuue you from yourself, you see?? (Lucky you.) I was used in anger once, by just the same sort of La-Z-Boy shrink, the story best left untold, meaningless to everyone but me, really. I bet that dipstick is still trying to regrow hair in certain places." i love this place :)

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Borderline personality disorder (11/2/2007 2:10:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shudokan "Unless he's a psychologist (which he obviously isn't or he wouldn't be analyzing you from his armchair) he needs to shut his pie hole about psychological issues. He's going to ressssscuuuue you from yourself, you see?? (Lucky you.) I was used in anger once, by just the same sort of La-Z-Boy shrink, the story best left untold, meaningless to everyone but me, really. I bet that dipstick is still trying to regrow hair in certain places." i love this place :) I wrote the guy andd told him it wasnt very smooth. get this...he said i have enough around here. So He was from Mississipi and he wasnt intending to rescue me. When I gave him logical and valid arguments about the perils of self diagnosis and asked him his qualifications, the man called me "low functioning" and told me to leave him alone!!! He couldnt take getting back what he dished. i wa happy to say ta ta. I am not in contact and the man is blocked. I did find the subject interesting and wondered how many write subs in an antagonizing way.

HizBabyGirl -> RE: Borderline personality disorder (11/3/2007 2:38:49 AM)
I agree totally. It wasn't until not too recently that the term Borderline Personality Disorder came into vogue and I agree its tossed about too freely. Besides, there are some cases, for some people, considering the lives they've lead, their behavior is probably perfectly rational given the right set of circumstances. If all you meet are jerks and users, wouldn't it be wise to be suspicious and hold people at arms length?

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Borderline personality disorder (11/3/2007 4:41:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HizBabyGirl I agree totally. It wasn't until not too recently that the term Borderline Personality Disorder came into vogue and I agree its tossed about too freely. Besides, there are some cases, for some people, considering the lives they've lead, their behavior is probably perfectly rational given the right set of circumstances. If all you meet are jerks and users, wouldn't it be wise to be suspicious and hold people at arms length? I completely agree with you. Someone called me jaded. yes, I am jaded and suspicious. I didnt start out that way. I started out hopeful and niave. But the online forum with its unscrupulous people made me learn to be that way. I think it is self preservation to hold people at arms length until they prove trustworthiness and integrity.

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Borderline personality disorder (11/3/2007 6:58:16 PM)
Borderline Personality Disorder is just another Freudian Psychosis. people who embrace Freud and disregard all other theories shows their ignorance. The So called "dom" kept spewing fruedian ideology. I have always found it amusing that Freud talked of all these psychosis and neurosis and fixations of others (especially women patients). But when it came to himself and a possible oral fixation of his own, Frued said, " sometimes a cigar is just a cigar". How convenient. Sometimes a cigar is way more than just a cigar. Just ask Monica Lewinsky about that. "Id rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal Lobotomy"

wisteriaV -> RE: Borderline personality disorder (11/3/2007 7:36:25 PM)
Borderline Personality is not a Freudian Psychosis! If you reseach the BPD it does not come from Freud at all. Furthermore, while its mainly connected to women ( women report issues more often then men do), men can be diagnoised with it as well. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder For harmony's sake educate yourselves before spewing bullshit!

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Borderline personality disorder (11/4/2007 4:22:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wisteriaV Borderline Personality is not a Freudian Psychosis! If you reseach the BPD it does not come from Freud at all. Furthermore, while its mainly connected to women ( women report issues more often then men do), men can be diagnoised with it as well. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder For harmony's sake educate yourselves before spewing bullshit! I am not spewing bullshit. If you read the thread which I posted, this is all based on an e-mails sent to me. I dont really care what BPD is defined as. I am speaking of a dom that spewed fruedian babble to me. I apologize for not making that clear, but that is what I am referring to. Specific things written to me. Yes he talked of BPD and referred to Freudian ideology. I cut and pasted this on page 1. This whole thread is based on that. "Chuckles at her reply...and suggests she read deeply into the formation of one's sexuality. Females who's sexuality is polymorphous perverse are Borderline Personality Disordered, males are either Narcissistic or Antisocial (psychopathic) Personality Disordered...the same things that give you the sexuality, give you the personality disorders...you learned to identify sex (love) with pain, way, way back." Read the thread before you try to claim your superiority. As you said to someone else(Laurell)..."keep your views to what you think about me to yourself".

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