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Borderline personality disorder - 10/23/2007 3:47:29 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		I was at a club where a Master I was talking to said a prevalent amount of people in BDSM are survivors of abuse. I got an e-mail today where someone talked about my Borderline personality disorder(I have never met the man). he asked who was the cat that violated my trust? Saying that as a person with this I would act obnoxious to push someone away, as a Dom he wouldnt let me, he'd spank me and then hold me while I cried....a woman/child. Then he went on to say we would be a great match if he lived closer. I would like your opinion on this theory from other submissives. I myself I may try to push those away from fear , but I dont think I should be spanked out of anger. I believe that should be left to scening. any comments?
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RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/23/2007 3:56:14 PM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline 		Unless he's a psychologist (which he obviously isn't or he wouldn't be analyzing you from his armchair) he needs to shut his pie hole about psychological issues. He's going to ressssscuuuue you from yourself, you see?? (Lucky you.)

I was used in anger once, by just the same sort of La-Z-Boy shrink, the story best left untold, meaningless to everyone but me, really.

I bet that dipstick is still trying to regrow hair in certain places.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
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RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/23/2007 3:59:34 PM   
hejira92


Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline 		Wait a sec- where does borderline personality disorder come in? I read your profile- you seem intelligent, articulate and seeking to explore this (amazing) lifestyle. I do not see any pathology. IMO he was overstepping.
 
On the other hand, many women do push away in fear of real intimacy - the phenomenon of "if he really knew me, he'd reject me, so I'll reject him first". Overcoming this through the intimacy of the M/s or D/s relationship is just one of the benefits and beauties of this lifestyle. If you do give yourself to someone and He decides to give you a spanking because of behavior or to modify behavior- that is His perogative. If He does it to prove a point, it is not neccessarily in anger (but I do agree that ethical Doms do not punish in anger. And if I was LA, I'd have links to 5 other threads that talk about this.)
 
I've seen your posts over the past week or so and I say- keep reading, keep exploring (safely) and keep bouncing back. You are having the adventure of your life!

_____________________________

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(in reply to lusciouslips19)
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RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/23/2007 5:37:53 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: batshalom

Unless he's a psychologist (which he obviously isn't or he wouldn't be analyzing you from his armchair) he needs to shut his pie hole about psychological issues. He's going to ressssscuuuue you from yourself, you see?? (Lucky you.)

I was used in anger once, by just the same sort of La-Z-Boy shrink, the story best left untold, meaningless to everyone but me, really.

I bet that dipstick is still trying to regrow hair in certain places.



God I love you! Wish you were in chicago! You are blunt and funny. well, I did talk to that asshole Dom we talked about in another thread. You know, that one called me a victim but then said I had to do penance for my past!!! Ya, that makes sense,,,NOT. Some men have some nerve.

Well the one who said this said he thought these types were wonderfully fun and many psychologists were with BPD types. I told him I never met one in that field that werent screwed up themselves!

(in reply to batshalom)
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RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/23/2007 6:31:05 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		I am pasteing what the dude said in 2 e-mails and my first response. Its quite entertaining. Especially when some so called Dom is talking in that grandiose 3rd person shtick...

HE:
Who was it, little kitten/cat, so very long ago...the one you really trusted...so now you seek some mo(re).

Everyone's hottest sex revolves around issues of childhood not quite worked through. With the borderline (that would be you), these issues are a seething hotbed of desire. Goggle up borderline personality disorder under psychology.

Too bad Wwe live so far apart, Wwe would have been a really good match.

ME: you say I have a borderline personality order and then say we are a good match? Smooth, very smooth. i wonder what your issues are?

HE:
He seems to have hit a nerve, as He notes her defenses rise. The High Functioning BPDed woman can be an absolute delight. She is very fun to do things with (she sexualizes excitement), interesting to talk to (many times highly educated), and screws like a rabid, kinky mink (sex represents more than just sex to her).
>
> I have gone with many of your sisters over the years, who were everything from MDs to PhDs. The problem with BL women is with your "hidden agenda", that is, to destroy your intimate relationships, and be, once again, left abandoned. Look up Freud's Theory of Repetition Compulsion.
>
> The personality for which you seek, is that of Myself...you wouldn't be able to devaluate me (and leave Me), and when this didn't work, you would try being obnoxious (so that I would leave). This would get you a very bright red set of "pussy "lips from me, and as you cried, I would hold you and comfort you as I would a small child.
>
> One only needs to know where the BL is coming from and know how to deal with her ways (boy is this one tricky sometimes), to have a woman (actually, child/woman) that is a very special person indeed (many psychiatrists marry borderlines).
>
> ...and with an Elizabethan flourish, He bows and bids her adeau.
>
> I call ya'll kitten/cats ---------------------------------------------------
> >
> >

> >
> >
> > >
> > >

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 10/23/2007 6:52:53 PM >

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RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/23/2007 7:04:54 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		I think this guy read your Longfellow quote and read no further and decided to jump to conclusions.  Lots of nuts out there, no need to crack em all, it would take decades. Ignore it. If someone wants to play psycho-analyst, let them play with someone else. Anyone who has to use the 'you seem emotionally disabled, I can help you' routine without knowing you, is surely in need of medication himself.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
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RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/23/2007 7:22:34 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

I think this guy read your Longfellow quote and read no further and decided to jump to conclusions.  Lots of nuts out there, no need to crack em all, it would take decades. Ignore it. If someone wants to play psycho-analyst, let them play with someone else. Anyone who has to use the 'you seem emotionally disabled, I can help you' routine without knowing you, is surely in need of medication himself.


IGNORE IT????

But it is so much fun laughing at it!!!!

(in reply to came4U)
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RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/23/2007 7:26:39 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		I don't think women involved in BDSM have a higher rate than average of abuse. I think we are more open about past experiences then you would be at a PTA meeting, for example.

As far as the man writing you, doesn't seem to be aimed at you but a cut and paste email about what he likes to do with a little snippet to try to make it seem more personal.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/23/2007 7:34:26 PM   
Petronius


Posts: 289
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

I was at a club where a Master I was talking to said a prevalent amount of people in BDSM are survivors of abuse.


The Master is, quite simply, wrong.

I quote from Charles Moser, "The Psychology of Sadomasochism (S/M)" online at the Magnus Hirschfeld Archive for Sexology at Humboldt-Universitaet zu Berlin:

"It is important to note by its absence any indication that S/M practitioners have any common psychopathology or symptoms. While the studies of this population are still sketchy, no consistent picture of S/M practitioners has emerged in the clinical literature. There have been some limited attempts to use psychological testing to see if an S/M sample differs from a control sample. None of these studies shows any significant difference between the S/M group and the control group"

http://www2.hu-berlin.de/sexology/BIB/SM.htm

There's a common pop psychology around a sort of wild Freudianism. Most recently one version was took sexualized form around various rightwing fears. The idea of S/M and abuse (or any kinky sex and abuse) most formed around the notions of Satanic Panic, ritual abuse, brainwashing, and especially repressed memories. Thus the idea that people who enjoy S/M activities are merely acting out repressed memories of abuse.

Like so many other forms of politicalized psychology ... it simply ain't true. But there are a lot of things that ain't true around which scientific discussion can be based. This one, however, not only ain't true but ain't got any scientific evidence to back it up.



(in reply to lusciouslips19)
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RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/23/2007 7:38:21 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

IGNORE IT????

But it is so much fun laughing at it!!!!


But your quote seemed so serious and distressed.

Is this your borderline personality emerging?


(in reply to Petronius)
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RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/23/2007 7:39:12 PM   
wisteriaV


Posts: 438
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline 		Borderline Personality Disorder (DSM-IV Personality Disorders 301.83[1]) (BPD) is defined as a personality disorder primarily characterized by emotional dysregulation, extreme "black and white" thinking, or "splitting", and chaotic relationships. The general profile of the disorder also typically includes a pervasive instability in mood, interpersonal relationships, self-image, identity, and behavior, as well as a disturbance in the individual's sense of self. In extreme cases, this disturbance in the sense of self can lead to periods of dissociation.[2]
The disturbances suffered by those with borderline personality disorder have a wide-ranging and pervasive negative impact on many or all of the psychosocial facets of life, including ability to hold down a job and relationships in work, home, and social settings. Comorbidity is common; borderline personality disorder frequently occurring with substance use disorders and mood disorders. Attempted suicide and completed suicide are possible outcomes without proper care and effective therapy
The latest version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV-TR), the widely-used American Psychiatric Association guide for clinicians seeking to diagnose mental illnesss, defines Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) as: "a pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image and affects, as well as marked impulsivity, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts."[3] BPD is classed on "Axis II", as an underlying pervasive or personality condition, rather than "Axis I" for more circumscribed mental disorders. A DSM diagnosis of BPD requires any five out of nine listed criteria to be present for a significant period of time. There are thus 256 different combinations of symptoms that could result in a diagnosis, of which 136 have been found in practice in one study.[4] The criteria are:[2]
  1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment such as lying, stealing, temper tantrums, etc. [Not including suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5]
  2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
  3. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.
  4. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., promiscuous sex, eating disorders, binge eating, substance abuse, reckless driving, overspending, stealing). [Again, not including suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5]
  5. Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, threats, or self-mutilating behavior.
  6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).
  7. Chronic feelings of emptiness, worthlessness.
  8. Inappropriate anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).
  9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms .

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder

_____________________________

Every story has two sides , much like a coin and neither one is totally perfect.
If it doesn't float your boat, then don't get in the water~!

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RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/23/2007 7:59:30 PM   
RosesHaveThorns


Posts: 312
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline 		If you could, please send this to the good doctor:

"Dear Psychologist Person,

I cannot stand stupid people who talk to women in a conscending way. Please tell me what mental condition I have."

And uh...He does know that sex without consent, as in, the women is pushing him away, could very well be against the law, right? And if she cries afterwards...Uhhhh...Yeah creepy.


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RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/23/2007 8:06:08 PM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		Any comments? Yes, he's a dickhead.

I do find it odd that you continued to correspond with him though.

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


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RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/23/2007 8:20:08 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline


But your quote seemed so serious and distressed.

Is this your borderline personality emerging?


[/quote]

YES, so you better watch out this sex crazed minx is comin after YOU!!!

(in reply to came4U)
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RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/23/2007 8:24:09 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

Any comments? Yes, he's a dickhead.

I do find it odd that you continued to correspond with him though.


I wouldnt call one e-mail corresponding. Well I did send him a cut and paste with some of your responses. I do like to put idiots in their place.

(in reply to MissMagnolia)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/23/2007 8:25:31 PM   
RosesHaveThorns


Posts: 312
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline 		I don't know why, but reading that I now think of a movie poster titled: "The Bordline Personlity Sub that ate New York!" complete with a giant woman going King Kong on the city.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
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RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/23/2007 11:44:47 PM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		Hmm, I guess it was the following that indicated you'd corresponded with him:

I am pasteing what the dude said in 2 e-mails and my first response.
 
Nevermind, he's still a dickhead!!!

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


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RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/24/2007 1:42:17 AM   
masterdelirious


Posts: 1
Joined: 8/25/2007
Status: offline 		First, no real psychologist would dare to draw a diagnostic conclusion (any conclusion and certainly not that of BPD) bases on so little information. This would require an extensive assessment procedure and a lot of individual contact.
Furthermore, no real psychologist would throw this in anyones face just like that
and third, certainly not to convince you to have sex or whatever dubious intentions that guy had.

The usefulness of a BPD diagnosis, because it can have its use, is mainly with a focus on treatment. Helping to understand which issues determine a clients behaviour.

So do not bother about this man I would say.

(in reply to MissMagnolia)
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RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/24/2007 3:11:21 AM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		hmmm....yeah well there are plenty of "real" psychologists out there that are "really" nuts too...so it is quite possible a psychologist could contact someone on a bdsm board and mess with them.  I know of no profession that does not have it's share of wackos and weirdos.  Professionals are very much people too.

Ironically this guy is saying people get into bdsm because of childhood issues,  there are also plenty of studies saying people get into the mental health fields to deal with their own personal issues.  The harsh reality is, PEOPLE have issues regardless of where you find them, because life can be difficult and we all have things we have to deal with.

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 10/24/2007 3:15:55 AM >

(in reply to masterdelirious)
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RE: Borderline personality disorder - 10/24/2007 3:20:47 AM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		I'm afraid laurell is right. I know a couple of policemen who sell the best drugs around and who have strong ties with the bikie gangs. I know some doctors who are addicted to painkillers, uppers and downers. I know a personal counsellor who topped himself last year.

Yes virginia, as shattering as it is, there are "real" psychologists out there who use their powers for evil.

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


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Profile   Post #: 20
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