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Punishment Help? - 10/23/2007 7:54:10 PM

ARealizedDestiny

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Anyone have any links to threads about good punishment ideas?

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RE: Punishment Help? - 10/23/2007 8:45:25 PM

southernhart

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punishment for what? Sounds like you are taking a delight in this. Punishment is a very serious thing when there is a true D/s relationship. It's not a game.

(in reply to ARealizedDestiny)

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RE: Punishment Help? - 10/23/2007 8:59:14 PM

FangsNfeet

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In your upper right hand corner, there is a little green word "Search" under the Collarchat.com-BDSM Forum. Click on it. You'll be amazed as to what you will find. I'm sure that if you clicked on search and typed in punishment, you'll find more than just a few threads and post about punishment ideas.

Go on, give it a try. Let us know how it works out.

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RE: Punishment Help? - 10/23/2007 11:37:10 PM

HeavansKeeper

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This is not the thread to discuss it, but like all aspects of the D/s terms get mucked up occasionally. Who is a slave and what is a punishment are frequent culprits. Personally, I agree that punishments are done in response to undesired behavior. The ferocity of the punishment should match how undesired the behavior was. Some people consider (what I call) disciplines to be punishments. Although I'd like there to be a golden standard that views punishment as a bad thing, not liked by submissives and not enjoyable to deliver by dominants, I understand that won't be the case. So I keep an eye on context when people use "punishment" and "discipline" and "slave" and "submissive."

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RE: Punishment Help? - 10/24/2007 6:17:46 AM

ARealizedDestiny

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I'm shocked at how, without even so much as speaking to me, you've come upon this crazy conclusion over a single sentence asking for a link to punishment threads. No, I don't find a delight in it. Punishment hurts the Dom as much as the sub, as deja vu as that sentence may be, it's true. But thank you, for so quickly coming upon this conclusion without even so much as TALKING to me, or ASKING me what my reasons are WITHOUT giving me info about what it "sounds like" to you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: southernhart

punishment for what? Sounds like you are taking a delight in this. Punishment is a very serious thing when there is a true D/s relationship. It's not a game.

(in reply to southernhart)

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RE: Punishment Help? - 10/24/2007 6:23:00 AM

Babybass

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Punishment is a very personal thing...you might hate to be spanked or whipped and see that as a dreadful punishment but i would love it...you might love corner time, but i would find it to be one of the worst punishments!!
You should have some idea what you think is punishment to you - but i also suggest that you do a search in the forums...

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RE: Punishment Help? - 10/24/2007 6:58:50 AM

Celeste43

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Have there been any other type of threads lately? And op, you're paying for all the idiots who think that punishing someone because there wasn't any Chunky Monkey left at the store is the way to go.

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RE: Punishment Help? - 10/24/2007 7:12:43 AM

breatheasone

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I am fortunate that my Master doesn't use "punishment" as an excuse to beat me....If He wants to beat me He just does. I LOVE that.

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RE: Punishment Help? - 10/24/2007 8:03:47 AM

Vanatru

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I'd say get some experience understanding people and understanding yourself. It's quite easy to figure out what another person really hates to experience and find a creative way to use that as a punishment.

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RE: Punishment Help? - 10/24/2007 8:36:40 AM

dvart

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I don't understand why this topic keeps coming up.

Surely, it totally depends on the dynamic between two people and the personality of the sub?

For one sub a cross word might be totally devastating, whereas someone else might really need corporal punishment.

One slave said recently in a "guilt" thread that she needed a good beating to cleanse her guilt.

Play is play, punishment is something that the slave shouldn't enjoy.If you don't know what an appropriate punishment is, then you should spend more time getting to know your sub.

Who knows if you knew her better, punishment might not be so necessary and you would have more time for play.

(in reply to southernhart)

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RE: Punishment Help? - 10/24/2007 8:43:25 AM

ARealizedDestiny

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quote:

ORIGINAL: dvart

I don't understand why this topic keeps coming up.

Surely, it totally depends on the dynamic between two people and the personality of the sub?

For one sub a cross word might be totally devastating, whereas someone else might really need corporal punishment.

One slave said recently in a "guilt" thread that she needed a good beating to cleanse her guilt.

Play is play, punishment is something that the slave shouldn't enjoy.If you don't know what an appropriate punishment is, then you should spend more time getting to know your sub.

Who knows if you knew her better, punishment might not be so necessary and you would have more time for play.

I don't have a sub yet. Look at my profile. Personally, I just wanted to see some of the creative ideas different Tops have come up with, just as a learning key. But thanks.

(in reply to dvart)

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RE: Punishment Help? - 10/24/2007 8:43:55 AM

mnottertail

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Suck a man's dick, that looks like punishment, seeing your profile.

Shit, it ain't hard to figure out punishments, the hard thing to figure out is inspiring obedience and obeisance.

Ron

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RE: Punishment Help? - 10/24/2007 8:49:38 AM

RRafe

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Here's the deal. People begin to question the validity and experience of any Top who asks for something as personal as "how do I punish".

A top is supposed to be intelligent and insightful enough to have researched behavioral modification LONG before they get involved in handling a submissive. And we get tons of losers in places like this-who are just trolling for materials to rub off to. Something we get very tired of- because it distracts us from more enjoyable topics.

If you REALLY want to know about this dynamic-ask the subs something more along the line of "what is it that compels you to want to obey"

But asking for punishment ideas? Just makes one look like another idiot with thier hand in thier crotch. I wish it were otherwise-but that's how it goes.

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RE: Punishment Help? - 10/24/2007 8:51:15 AM

mnottertail

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Well said, RRafe-------in fact I just squirted. LOL........

Ron

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RE: Punishment Help? - 10/24/2007 8:54:19 AM

southernhart

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i guess it's just the way your post is worded. i would of looked at it a different way if you would of said something like. i am a Dominant and i would like to learn more about punishments or i am a sub who's Master has asked me to find punishments he can use on me.

To me your one line post just didn;t make sense the way it was written. You could just put the word punishments in the search engine and i'm sure many sites would pop up for you. Maybe you can write more next time to avoid misinterpertations. .

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RE: Punishment Help? - 10/24/2007 8:57:38 AM

TPESOSWanted

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe
People begin to question the validity and experience of any Top who asks for something as personal as "how do I punish". ... asking for punishment ideas? Just makes one look like another idiot with thier hand in thier crotch.

Kudos RRafe ... spot on!

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RE:RRafe - 10/24/2007 8:59:22 AM

southernhart

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Thank You so much for Your post. That's exactly what i was thinking, but i couldn't come up with the right words. You are also right about punishments. My Master knows exactly how to handle every situation that comes up, becasue he is a true Master and has not only done the research, but has the experience as well. Very very very well said. Thank You!

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RE: Punishment Help? - 10/24/2007 9:00:52 AM

Vanatru

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

...
A top is supposed to be intelligent and insightful enough to have researched behavioral modification LONG before they get involved in handling a submissive. ...

Bummer, you gotta ruin all the fun, don't you? LOL (actually it was a good reply, Rafe *grin*)

Edit: I'm thinking the real problem is BDSM is considered the "in" thing, like a progression in generations with kids going from heavy metal gear, to goth gear, to bdsm. Like it's a fashion choice or place to hang as evinced by the vast number of people joining age 18 to 22 (often stating they had experience at a younger age than that). However, I doubt many of this new generation understand what it’s really about as it seems they see this as an extension of their exploration of sexual identity from teen years and not as an outlook of life, character, and way of relating to their partners. As in, it's all about the kinks.

< Message edited by Vanatru -- 10/24/2007 9:15:59 AM >

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RE: Punishment Help? - 10/24/2007 9:25:42 AM

RRafe

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Vanatru

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

...
A top is supposed to be intelligent and insightful enough to have researched behavioral modification LONG before they get involved in handling a submissive. ...

Bummer, you gotta ruin all the fun, don't you? LOL (actually it was a good reply, Rafe *grin*)

Edit: I'm thinking the real problem is BDSM is considered the "in" thing, like a progression in generations with kids going from heavy metal gear, to goth gear, to bdsm. Like it's a fashion choice or place to hang as evinced by the vast number of people joining age 18 to 22 (often stating they had experience at a younger age than that). However, I doubt many of this new generation understand what it’s really about as it seems they see this as an extension of their exploration of sexual identity from teen years and not as an outlook of life, character, and way of relating to their partners. As in, it's all about the kinks.

Uh huh,which is why these constant kids trolling for merit badges annoy me so.

Ya gotta punish to be a big bad top-it's so hot.

Geez, gimme a break and quit reading silly fiction novels people. You over simplify very complex dynamics. It's a PERSON you are dealing with-not a two week old puppy.

If you are not smart enough-and patient enough to be able to deal with another person in a reasonable and effective manner-forget about being a top.

Go rub off to your bad porn-and save people who deserve better the suffering.

< Message edited by RRafe -- 10/24/2007 9:27:28 AM >

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RE: Punishment Help? - 10/24/2007 11:39:08 AM

ARealizedDestiny

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

Here's the deal. People begin to question the validity and experience of any Top who asks for something as personal as "how do I punish".

A top is supposed to be intelligent and insightful enough to have researched behavioral modification LONG before they get involved in handling a submissive. And we get tons of losers in places like this-who are just trolling for materials to rub off to. Something we get very tired of- because it distracts us from more enjoyable topics.

If you REALLY want to know about this dynamic-ask the subs something more along the line of "what is it that compels you to want to obey"

But asking for punishment ideas? Just makes one look like another idiot with thier hand in thier crotch. I wish it were otherwise-but that's how it goes.

*sighs* As stated before, I'm not looking for ideas to use on anyone. Just simply looking to learn of other peoples' techniques, etc., just haven't gotten around to making MORE threads with other questions, and was hoping just to use this thread and spread on from that. I DON'T have a lot of experience, I do not deny that. Which is EXACTLY why I'm doing this. Yes, I may be young. But you older Doms who think you own the world because you're older and have more experience, and constantly put down younger Doms due to age alone are making me SICK. It's no different than telling a black person they can't be a lawyer because black people are stupid. Just another pathetic stereotype. Stop assuming just because we're young, it means we don't know what we're doing, just into kink, or doing this to "look cool". If I really wanted to "look cool" that bad, I'd have been a druggie or something by highschool. I'll admit, some young Tops ARE out for that, yes. But NOT ALL. Once again, stop prejudging us.

(in reply to RRafe)

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