look at that smiley lolol sorry RE: Beyond the limits/experience survey

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> look at that smiley lolol sorry RE: Beyond the limits/experience survey

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look at that smiley lolol sorry RE: Beyond the limits/e... - 10/23/2007 10:29:15 PM

tryingtobeclear

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Joined: 10/23/2007
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is their some sort or questionaire or something that helps D/s couples define their relationship expectations etc...that goes beyond the limits/experience/interest survey...something for the Dom to answer or gather ideas from when creating protocols etc... with questions such as:

Does it turn you on for your slut to occasionally break minor rules, and then admit having done so to you thereby giving you an opportunity for punishment or does rule breaking of small or large significance displease you...

if you tell your slut not to cum would you rather she beg...not complain...or fail because your just that good!!

anyone know of one.. websites...books...I have a book on manual creation but we really just don't relate with the auther...it's more of a autobiography than a guide....

< Message edited by tryingtobeclear -- 10/23/2007 10:33:00 PM >

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RE: look at that smiley lolol sorry RE: Beyond the limi... - 10/24/2007 5:29:31 AM

batshalom

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Joined: 9/17/2007
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What's to stop you from creating your own when its necessary, when you have input from the other side? It seems like a personal task to me.

(in reply to tryingtobeclear)

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RE: look at that smiley lolol sorry RE: Beyond the limi... - 10/24/2007 8:22:29 AM

slaveelle

Posts: 116
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: Australia
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Not sure ive seen one, but like batshalom said, why not make one of your own? Why not have her make one also and you can discuss the list in full. Seems a good idea to me and it gives you an opportunity to get to know what each of you likes and dislikes, what you are willing to accept and what you are not.

I wish you both luck with this.

elle

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RE: look at that smiley lolol sorry RE: Beyond the limi... - 10/24/2007 8:31:12 AM

IrishMist

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quote:

is their some sort or questionaire or something that helps D/s couples define their relationship expectations

Simple and to the point. NO, there is no questionaire that can help YOU and YOUR PARTNER define your own relationship and expectations. ONLY YOU and YOUR PARTNER can do that.

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RE: look at that smiley lolol sorry RE: Beyond the limi... - 10/24/2007 9:34:38 AM

EclipseAbove

Posts: 220
Joined: 8/11/2005
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The questionaires out there are just tools to help with the discussion. The key word being "help". They aren't the actual negotiation but merely a place to start. Keep in mind that they might only cover about 95% of the topics you will want to discuss. So, after you've talked about all the items on the questionaire, you'll have to ask yourselves if there is anything that wasn't covered.

quote:

ORIGINAL: tryingtobeclear
Does it turn you on for your slut to occasionally break minor rules, and then admit having done so to you thereby giving you an opportunity for punishment or does rule breaking of small or large significance displease you...

Most of the questionaires have a least one item that covers punishment. If there isn't a "hell no, not ever" answer next to it, I think a proper discussion about punishment would result in an answer to this. After all one person's idea of punishment is another person's idea of torture. And just saying "I like punishment" and hearing "yea, me too" does not constitute a proper discussion.

quote:

if you tell your slut not to cum would you rather she beg...not complain...or fail because your just that good!!

Ditto - orgasm control or orgasm denial.

Personally, I like using the questionaires as they tend to force a discussion of what might seem obvious, but quite often I get very surprising results and learn things that I wouldn't otherwise learn. But they are simply a checklist of discussion items, like an agenda at a meeting - nothing more.

(in reply to tryingtobeclear)

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RE: look at that smiley lolol sorry RE: Beyond the limi... - 10/24/2007 12:20:25 PM

Sirandlil1

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Joined: 8/15/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

is their some sort or questionaire or something that helps D/s couples define their relationship expectations

Simple and to the point. NO, there is no questionaire that can help YOU and YOUR PARTNER define your own relationship and expectations. ONLY YOU and YOUR PARTNER can do that.

I agree IrishMist ................... it is called ...........communication

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RE: look at that smiley lolol sorry RE: Beyond the limi... - 10/24/2007 5:26:29 PM

PryderiLoup

Posts: 90
Joined: 9/8/2007
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quote:

I agree IrishMist ................... it is called ...........communication

Communication is what it is all about, but often people need tools to help them in the proccess. I don't think this is a bad thing. Most people suck at communication anyway. So anything that helps is great.

I think that a BDSM checklist is a great thing to start off communication. Also, find or write erotic D/s stories and discuss them, what you and your partner liked, disliked, couldn't do...

Also, after any sort of intense scene, play or role playing, wait a comfortable amount of time and then talk it over with them. And I agree with one poster that said "I liked that... Me too..." is not real communication.

(in reply to Sirandlil1)

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