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RE: The female shape... - 10/25/2007 1:53:19 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hejira92

Thank you so much, og.

Yes, the huge, ice cream scoop of missing tissue on the side of my breast was disconcerting to me, to say the least. Master, like yours, wasn't thrown by it. Nor by any of the other scars, etc that life has left on my body.

I'm glad I did the restoration-I think if I had never done the reduction/lift they might be smaller now with the weight loss, but they'd fall to my knees. lol.

Part of my insecurity about my looks is Master's history. In His "Rock Star" days, He dated strippers, Playmates, models and even one I think had been in porn. I am not, nor have ever been in that league. I have, of course, shared this with Him. He asks me, "Who have I chosen as Mine?" and says "But you have my heart- forever." Then He assures me that I may not be perfect, but I am perfect for Him.

Gotta love a man who knows when to be tough and when to be tender.

Yeah, those surgeons like to butcher you don't they? I went in hearing, "Don't worry, you won't notice a thing" and when I removed the bandages a few days later, my jaw hit the counter.

I get the same toughness/tenderness. The tenderness always springs up exactly when I need it. And who wants perfection anyway?

(in reply to hejira92)

Post #: 61

RE: The female shape... - 10/26/2007 12:04:12 AM

tulitukka

Posts: 95
Joined: 10/11/2007
Status: offline

I think you should give this thing a little thought. Does dieting and exercise as a punishment cause you to feel bad? If it doesn't, then it's not a fitting punishment (though it may be discipline). Punishments are not supposed to feel good. On the other hand, a skilled dominant will not create a situation where good things, such as healthy diet or exercise are associated with punishment and bad feelings. It's not a good road. If I were you, I would look deep into myself and see whether the punishment has adverse effects on how you feel about controlling your weight and shape. If it does, you need to tell that to your Master. Politely and with respect, of course. (IMO he should have thought about that himself, but you are not responsible for his actions and thoughfulness, but you are responsible for yours).

I considered using exercise and dieting as a punishment myself a little while ago. I decided against it for that exact reason. I also do not withhold sweets or other nice things from my slave as a punishment. I do, however, control that aspect of her life, even though she is not in immediate need for dieting due to health reasons. I don't have her on a diet, as I don't believe in those. Instead, I have slowly changed her eating habits. More regular eating, getting rid of constant use of soft drinks and other unhealthy things and pushing her to learn to stop eating once she's not hungry anymore. I also make sure that she understands that eating healthy and keeping slim does not mean no goodies. We eat all kinds of sweet desserts, chocolates, and others every now and then. I think it is important for her to realize that she can eat the dessert every once in a while, to lose it and just enjoy the sensual experience of a good multi dish meal - and still keep slim. It's not about self denial, but about control.

There's several reasons to why I do it, of which only one is that I like her looks better if she's fit and slim. It is a way of asserting control over her life that is concrete. She has a desire to serve and to please and it is a good way to allow her to express that desire and it's an opportunity for me enjoy control over her in something rather important. In addition to this, I also saw that she was not happy with the fact that she had gained weight in the years before she met me. So this control also serves the purpose of making her more what she wants to be (though even if such desire did not exist, I might have gone forward anyway for the previous stated reason).

A few years back I had gathered about 50 pounds of extra weight. I then decided that as I like women to be slim, it's just corteous to do the same and got rid of my excess fat in about 2-3 years time (I'm now 6'1" and weigh 170lbs). I also like teaching things, especially to my slave. In this case, I wanted her to learn that she can control her body weight (albeit with the help of my control), that it is not as difficult and ardeous as she thinks, and that she is capable of achieving more than she thinks. Looking at her now that she has lost the first 10 pounds, the first thing and the most important thing is the joy I see in her as she has realized that she can do it. It gives her strength to believe she can climb higher mountains to please me and to achieve things in her life.

We didn't originally negotiate this in our relationship, but we did negotiate the addition of these kinds of things during our relationship. I made sure that she felt no threat of me breaking up, or that she would have to do this to be pleasing to me. And she found it in herself that she did want to release control over such aspects of her life to me.

I also find it horrific that people equate controlled eating/dieting and the master wanting a barbie doll. My girl will never be a barbie doll, nor would I want her to be one. What I'm trying to do, is to help her gain the kind of fit and slim body that she has (which has lots of feminine curves and wide hips in her case).

Had she not wanted to release control over that aspect to me, would I still have wanted her and would I have wanted to continue with her? Definitely. Losing health doesn't have to be on health reasons. I think it should be done within healthy limits and in a healthy way for the mind of the submissive.

Never assume that anything that happens in a D/s relationship is simple and straighforward.

(in reply to submissfifi)

Post #: 62

RE: The female shape... - 10/26/2007 3:39:05 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

if i was to diet, it would have to be for me and me alone ...no one else ...not even Daddy or my fiance. now Daddy has advised that i should eat healthier with a 1200 calorie diet plan however i have the choice whether or not i should heed it. this is still my body (though Daddy does own it) but i'm not going to be forced to change it because He wants me to change. there are some doms who are like that however mine (i have 2) love me in the body shape that i am.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to submissfifi)

Post #: 63

RE: The female shape... - 10/26/2007 4:07:02 AM

BBWnNC72

Posts: 1155
Joined: 6/22/2007
From: NC since Jan of 2007, but born and raised in Cali
Status: offline

Hello
Well here my 2 cents. i am well over weight, but my trainer (hopefully soon to be Master) met me this way and likes me for me, for my mind, for my submissivness. He does however wish i was thinner because He loves Shibari. One thing He is against is me have any surgery to change my weight, but if i insist, He wont stop me but support me.
I do however want to lose weight and He is going to help me with a meal plan and diet. Do i have to do this, no. It is entirely up to me. The only thing He gets on me for regarding my weight is that i tend to not eat. Most of the time i just plain forget because i am so busy and other times i am just not hungry. With the amount i eat, i laughing say that i am the fattest anerexic i know!! I know, i know, that isnt funny, but it keeps me ok with my weight. Oh, and i am not allowed to call myself FAT, but i can howev ever say fluffy. He doesnt allow negativve comments.

huggs and purrrs
kat

(in reply to rubberpet)

Post #: 64

RE: The female shape... - 10/26/2007 6:36:23 AM

silkenfire

Posts: 130
Joined: 9/27/2007
Status: offline

I had an opposite experience, of going from the thinnest and healthiest I had ever been in my whole life into a relationship with someone who really wanted a BBW.

I put on 75 pounds in 3 months because I knew that he wanted me bigger. He would ask. Never forcibly, I could have said no-- but he always was so sweet about it, and I gave in. I'm never doing that again-- it's been 2 years now since we broke up and I'm still on this yoyo of a diet trying to put that weight back off.

I would love to have a master that wanted me to lose weight-- having someone that wants it of me would be extremely useful, knowing that they would be as happy as me with each little change of the scale. However, it would have to be someone that was comfortable with me as is, because I do have my limits and don't want someone that is going to push me into the "too thin" area. Someone to push me because they know how much I want to lose it is probably that ideal.

(in reply to BBWnNC72)

Post #: 65

RE: The female shape... - 10/26/2007 7:07:11 AM

MRandme

Posts: 661
Joined: 9/24/2007
Status: offline

Can you stand a statement from the other end? i've lost 15 to 20 pounds since this spring and i wasn't heavy to begin with. Trust me that those of us who are thin (too thin, in my case) have body issues too. i stopped taking the medication that caused the weight loss, but severe stress over the summer (death of a child and trying to divorce) inhibits my appetite. Add an extremely busy lifestyle and a fast metabolism and i've turned into a stick girl.

my Master is wonderfully supportive. He assures me He is pleased by my body, while encouraging me to eat regularly and even insisting that i take seconds. He also helps me work up a healthy appetite *grin*. This is not because He is unhappy with me (though i am.... loose skin and drawn features aren't attractive) but because it is a health issue.

Again, though, this is an issue that depends on the Dom and the submissive and the nature of their relationship. Like just about everything else in WIIWD, it varies with each relationship and what is acceptable for one couple will not work for another.

my 2 cents

g

_____________________________

And thus i conclude with a wish you go well,
Sweet be your dreams, may your happiness swell,
I'll leave you here, for my journey begins
i've gone to be with Him again...

(in reply to silkenfire)

Post #: 66

RE: The female shape... - 10/26/2007 7:17:01 AM

TheChauvinist

Posts: 76
Joined: 10/14/2006
Status: offline

I require that my girls are aestheticly pleasing in size. If a woman wishes to become owned by me it is one of the conditions I have for ownership. If she is not aestheticly pleasing and she has no medical conditions, I require her to diet and excersize to a size I find acceptable. If she refuses then I simply move on.

(in reply to submissfifi)

Post #: 67

RE: The female shape... - 10/26/2007 7:47:15 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheChauvinist

I require that my girls are aestheticly pleasing in size. If a woman wishes to become owned by me it is one of the conditions I have for ownership. If she is not aestheticly pleasing and she has no medical conditions, I require her to diet and excersize to a size I find acceptable. If she refuses then I simply move on.

I can understand this requirement in the beginning of a relationship. You dont have strong feelings invested. But to move on because someone's gained wieght? I myself like to be my best. For me. But if I felt that a Master would only love me if I was a certain way and that he would leave me if I wasnt? That would be a negative relationship as I would be worried about his love being conditional and not based on who I was as a person. We all age. Should I worry that he is going to leave me when I am too old and not asthetically pleasing?

(in reply to TheChauvinist)

Post #: 68

RE: The female shape... - 10/26/2007 7:50:30 AM

BossyShoeBitch

Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheChauvinist

I require that my girls are aestheticly pleasing in size. If a woman wishes to become owned by me it is one of the conditions I have for ownership. If she is not aestheticly pleasing and she has no medical conditions, I require her to diet and excersize to a size I find acceptable. If she refuses then I simply move on.

I agree. Not only are my boys required to be pleasing to my eye, I find that they tend to take me more seriously if I can spell the word aesthetically..

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to TheChauvinist)

Post #: 69

RE: The female shape... - 10/26/2007 8:12:21 AM

TheChauvinist

Posts: 76
Joined: 10/14/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

I can understand this requirement in the beginning of a relationship. You dont have strong feelings invested. But to move on because someone's gained wieght? I myself like to be my best. For me. But if I felt that a Master would only love me if I was a certain way and that he would leave me if I wasnt? That would be a negative relationship as I would be worried about his love being conditional and not based on who I was as a person. We all age. Should I worry that he is going to leave me when I am too old and not asthetically pleasing?

Note that I did not say gained weight, I said aesthetically pleasing. There is a difference.

Unconditional love in romantic relationships is very rare if ever achievable. Everyone that I've seen goes into a romantic relationships based on conditions, whether real or imagined or whether they know it or not. And those relationships end because the conditions are no longer perceived as being met. Like it or not, this is the nature I see in people. Even you have stated that there are conditions to your love.

As to the question of whether you should worry that your Master will leave you because you become too old or over weight, that is on you. You can either worry about it or not, it matters little to me.

< Message edited by TheChauvinist -- 10/26/2007 8:14:15 AM >

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 70

RE: The female shape... - 10/26/2007 8:39:09 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

whether she gained weight, aesthetically pleasing or not, it seems you would move on anyway because it's the looks/appearance you only value more than what type of person she is.

my .04 and then some

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to TheChauvinist)

Post #: 71

RE: The female shape... - 10/26/2007 8:55:00 AM

TheChauvinist

Posts: 76
Joined: 10/14/2006
Status: offline

How narrow-minded and simple of you. If this had been a thread on breast torture, pure service or juggling would you think that that subject was the only thing of value I saw in my girls or that the post is in keeping with the theme of the thread?

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 72

RE: The female shape... - 10/26/2007 9:04:10 AM

CutieMouse

Posts: 81
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

whether she gained weight, aesthetically pleasing or not, it seems you would move on anyway because it's the looks/appearance you only value more than what type of person she is.

my .04 and then some

Why is it when this sort of subject comes up, women shrilly make comments implying that anyone who would be willing to diet/exercise for their lover is a doormat (as was mentioned on the first page of this thread)... or they presume that just because a man likes to be physically attracted to his partner (which might include slightly tweaking her diet/exercise programme to achieve a particular body type), he's obviously a pig and not at all interested in her mind, her heart, or her soul?

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 73

RE: The female shape... - 10/26/2007 9:10:14 AM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MRandme

Can you stand a statement from the other end? i've lost 15 to 20 pounds since this spring and i wasn't heavy to begin with. Trust me that those of us who are thin (too thin, in my case) have body issues too. i stopped taking the medication that caused the weight loss, but severe stress over the summer (death of a child and trying to divorce) inhibits my appetite. Add an extremely busy lifestyle and a fast metabolism and i've turned into a stick girl.

my Master is wonderfully supportive. He assures me He is pleased by my body, while encouraging me to eat regularly and even insisting that i take seconds. He also helps me work up a healthy appetite *grin*. This is not because He is unhappy with me (though i am.... loose skin and drawn features aren't attractive) but because it is a health issue.

Again, though, this is an issue that depends on the Dom and the submissive and the nature of their relationship. Like just about everything else in WIIWD, it varies with each relationship and what is acceptable for one couple will not work for another.

my 2 cents

g

wow MRandme, it sounds like you've been through a rough time recently, I'm sorry to hear it. I'm glad to hear you have the support of a caring Master to support you.

This post is really kind of indicative of what my personal belief is. I don't think it's unacceptable to require someone to be healthy and workout, etc. as much as I would hope that like MRandme's Master they actually see the person inside rather than the outside as the most important part.

(in reply to MRandme)

Post #: 74

RE: The female shape... - 10/26/2007 10:17:38 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

[/quote]

Why is it when this sort of subject comes up, women shrilly make comments implying that anyone who would be willing to diet/exercise for their lover is a doormat (as was mentioned on the first page of this thread)... or they presume that just because a man likes to be physically attracted to his partner (which might include slightly tweaking her diet/exercise programme to achieve a particular body type), he's obviously a pig and not at all interested in her mind, her heart, or her soul?

[/quote]

There is nothing wrong with dieting and being healthy for your loved one. It does not make one a doormat. I dress in skirts and heels for men and yet i am not a doormat. I also dress for myself. If someone is only dieting for their lover and not for themselves this is the problem. The thing I worry about is a Master choosing someone and then finding faults with and criticizing the subs appearance and saying that they will leave her if she doesnt lose weight. This could make the slave feel so insecure that it backfires. So why would a Master pick someone who doesnt please him to begin with? Successful weight loss comes from a place where you are already happy with who you are and want to be better.

chauvanist,

I personally wouldnt want a Master who is not concerned about my worries and fears. But thats just me. It sounds like it would be best for you to selec t your ideal to begin with. But eventually all will loose their aethetic beauty, even you. So who will want you when you are an 80 year old Master and not aesthetic pleasing? It goes both ways.

Do not take this as anything but food for thought.

(in reply to CutieMouse)

Post #: 75

RE: The female shape... - 10/26/2007 10:55:29 AM

CutieMouse

Posts: 81
Status: offline

I see far more red flags in a 'dominant' who chooses to punish his slave through silence and withdrawing emotionally/physcially, than a man who would like to tweak a woman's shape.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 76

RE: The female shape... - 10/26/2007 11:41:30 AM

TheChauvinist

Posts: 76
Joined: 10/14/2006
Status: offline

The fact that neither I nor you were entertaining the thought of getting into a relationship makes your point on a wanting a master that thinks your worries are pertinent moot. But thank you for once again proving that your love is conditional.

As for the jibe you tried to pose as an innocent question, considering I'm in two long term relationships, I don't think I need to worry about it.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 77

RE: The female shape... - 10/26/2007 1:54:14 PM

Dolce

Posts: 34
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline

I am currently doing just that. :-) Granted, I'm losing weight for health reasons, and that's the main factor behind my weight loss. Sir is worried about my chronic pain and my limited flexibility, and knows that losing weight will certainly help to improve on things. He's always quick to praise my progress (I've lost 12 pounds since the end of August!), and still has to console my frustration at my existing weight at times, but he's been a total sweetheart about everything. :-)

He jokes with me that he won't marry me until I reach 140 pounds (another 38), and is hoping for 130 as a "wedding present". I'm not worried...because should marriage become a potential, I still have 2 years to lose the weight! ;-)

_____________________________

The presence of a noble nature...changes the lights for us: we begin to see things again in their larger, quieter masses, and to believe that we too can be seen and judged in the wholeness of our character. ~George Eliot

(in reply to rubberpet)

Post #: 78

RE: The female shape... - 10/26/2007 2:33:03 PM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

perhaps you should re-read your last replies. all you're concerned about is appearance ...you even said yourself that you would move on if she didn't fit in what you're looking for (paraphrased). you are the one who is narrow-minded. i wouldn't want someone (THANK GOODNESS, i don't) who's only concerned that my weight and beauty will NOT compliment his handsome ego.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to TheChauvinist)

Post #: 79

RE: The female shape... - 10/26/2007 4:00:26 PM

TheChauvinist

Posts: 76
Joined: 10/14/2006
Status: offline

Still narrow-minded I see. As I said, there is only one theme to this thread. If you honestly think that is all to my criteria, you're sadly mistaken. As usual.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 80

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