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RE: questions to ask a perspective Dom/Master - 10/25/2007 7:44:01 AM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		FR

Do you like leather?

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I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to wisteriaV)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: questions to ask a perspective Dom/Master - 10/25/2007 8:06:05 AM   
lookingforbeta


Posts: 4
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

I know you guys are kidding and screw the "doing something you don't want to do stuff", but not everyone believes in blind obedience.  I, for example, do not.  But I also think the things you are talking about come about after knowing and being with your dom/Master for a long time.  What I am trying to say is that, although there may be some exceptions, most people don't follow someone they've just met blindly, do they?


Hi bandit,

I was being a smart ass mostly because i am soo tired of seeing all the judgement  that goes on in a place where we should be tolerant of each other. Your right some one new in a relationship should NOT follow blindly thier eyes should be wide open. They should take the time  to get know each other, build trust, ect. BUT on the same note what right does someone have to read a post and call someone a doormate or say they are obeying blindly when they have no real knowledge of the relationship. Just because i choose to obey doesnt mean i do so blindly. I knew exactly what i was getting into when i entered into my relationship, Master was very honest with me.

To the OP: sorry for the high jack....
Ask as many questions you can not only about the lifestyle but about everyday life. Communication (for me) was the key to trust, the more we communicated the more i trusted him. It helped me see that he was consitant in his answers, he was sane and he wanted to get to know me as well. (Anyone that isnt telling teh truth or is hiding somehing will screw up eventually.)


(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: questions to ask a perspective Dom/Master - 10/25/2007 9:34:18 AM   
kindawild


Posts: 3
Joined: 10/19/2007
Status: offline 		Thanks everyone for the many different thoughts and opinions. It is a learning process and hearing how everyone approaches things differently is helpful. Questions Questions.. that is the key to how I operate my life, so this would be no different.  Taking my time is a good thing, and not rushing is something important and something i will do. Blind obedience is not in my personality, or my nature. 

Thanks again for the answers, even the Superhero question was fun to read.  *gave me a lil giggle*

~ktw~

(in reply to wisteriaV)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: questions to ask a perspective Dom/Master - 10/25/2007 10:16:28 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		Didn't see anyone suggest asking the most important question in my opinion. The question should be asked of any self identified dom, master, slave, sub, and/or bisexual switch regardless of their experience or lack of same. The detailed answer leads to or provides the answers to all the questions that should be asked but aren't considered or are forgotten in the rush of excitement of the first meeting. 

The question is - WHY?

Ask the 'why?' at the start and you may or should not need to answer 'why?' at an end. 

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 10/25/2007 10:21:36 AM >

(in reply to kindawild)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: questions to ask a perspective Dom/Master - 10/25/2007 10:22:05 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		personally, if the questions don't just flow out of my brain, it's not a good match....with the Dominant i am talking to right now we always run out of time before we run out of things to talk about...unless we are sleepy...but we never run out of things to talk about either way...i don't know how it works for anyone else....

chelle


_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to kindawild)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: questions to ask a perspective Dom/Master - 10/25/2007 10:31:54 AM   
sweetNsmartBBW


Posts: 167
Joined: 5/16/2007
Status: offline 		Recently had a Dom ask me to compile a list of things I'd like to know about Him, this is what I came up with:
 
What qualities do You value most in Yourself as a Man? As a Dominant? What was Your childhood like? Are You close to Your family? How do You generally spend Your weekends? How would You like to spend them? What were Your favorite holidays growing up? What are they now?  What traditions are important to You? Are You religious and/or spiritual?  What are Your views on religion? What do You think makes a good Master?  
What type of D/s experiences have You had? What did You like? Not like? What do You expect from Your submissive? What sort of control are You looking for? Do You micromanage, or macromanage? How do You feel about disciplining Your submissive? What forms would punishment take?  Do You see a difference between punishment and discipline? When did You first realize You were a Dom? How did You come to the realization? 
Do You smoke and/or drink? If so, how much? Do You have many close friends? Do You like Your job? Is what You are doing now what You’d always envisioned doing? What made You chose the field You are in? What Your views on sharing Your sub? Bringing others into the relationship? Public “play”? BDSM clubs? Etc? Are You hoping to get married again? Or did Your current relationship make marriage undesirable for You? How do You feel about collars? Would Your submissive be required to wear one? What do You feel a sub’s responsibilities are to her Master? A Master’s responsibility to His sub? What’s Your favorite meal in the whole wide world? Favorite place that You have already visited? Favorite movie? Actor? Actress? What sort of books do You enjoy reading for fun? Do You like sports? Which ones? What teams do You follow?  Like going to sporting events? Do You like music? What kinds? Do You have any pets? Do You consider Yourself the jealous type? Possessive? Do You see a difference between the two? What ~don’t~ You like about Yourself? What are You proudest of? Most important life lesson learned? Best memory? The 5 most important things in Your life? Your 3 most important goals over the next 5 years? How would the woman You love best be able to help You get to where You want to be in Your life?  Describe Your ideal romantic scenario. What makes You happy? What makes You unhappy? When You are angry, how do You deal with it? What’s Your temper like? What are Your ideas on "parenting" kids in a blended family? What do You typically eat for breakfast? What's Your favorite restaurant?

< Message edited by sweetNsmartBBW -- 10/25/2007 11:03:28 AM >

_____________________________

There are two kinds of strengths: the strength to lead, and the strength to follow; the strength to control, and the strength to yield. There are two kinds of power: the power to strip away another's soul bare, and the power to stand naked. Yaldah Tova

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: questions to ask a perspective Dom/Master - 10/25/2007 12:21:01 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		How long was your longest relationship.
When was the last time you got really angry? What triggered it and how did you act? When was the time before that and before that?
How often do you see your ums? What's their best/worst subject in school? Did you go to open house/parent teacher conferences?How do you feel about your ex in relation to them, is she a good parent in your view? Is your child support up to date?
How long have you been at your job? Do you enjoy the work, like your coworkers, your manager?
How is your relationship with your family?

I see red flags in people who boast about blowing up when the waitress forgot their ice tea, in people who run down everyone in their life, who don't get along with anyone.

(in reply to wisteriaV)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: questions to ask a perspective Dom/Master - 10/25/2007 11:32:39 PM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		what's your favorite thing to eat?  what's your favorite color?  are you fixed? 

(in reply to kindawild)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: questions to ask a perspective Dom/Master - 10/26/2007 9:36:10 AM   
pseudopsychotic


Posts: 145
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

"Which is the greater superhero - Batman or Spiderman?



Batman was just a rich man with an overly large belt and gay pedifile tendencies.
Now you wanna talk good superheros...Talk The Flash.
So saucy.

Anyways.
I think one should ask the normal questions.
Age, likes dislikes, how many came before you...How long have you been in this lifestyle...Size XD...ability. Life thoughts. And maybe give him a fill in the blanks question.
Ectect.
Borning I know.


_____________________________

Got a problem with me Solve it.
Think I'm trippin? Tie my shoe
Can't face me? Turn around

(in reply to wisteriaV)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: questions to ask a perspective Dom/Master - 10/26/2007 10:47:12 AM   
TakenPet


Posts: 147
Joined: 1/12/2007
Status: offline 		I am with Midnight Maiden, start with "vanilla questions" like any other perspective partner and then throw in some of those dominat type questions.  Its important for you to understand their theories and practices of dominace before you agree to anything.  Good luck

(in reply to wisteriaV)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: questions to ask a perspective Dom/Master - 10/26/2007 12:48:38 PM   
Scarlettred4real


Posts: 1
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		i think just taking the time to get to know the person - observing how they interact with you and with others - feeling your level of comfort - and then taking small steps.  Referrals are a waste of time.  Gossip (good and bad) takes a life of its own. 

(in reply to kindawild)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: questions to ask a perspective Dom/Master - 10/26/2007 2:00:12 PM   
grlneedstolearn


Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline 		i try to get to know him as a person and what he likes to do outside of the lifestyle. Somethings that i've found helpful is asking this or that type questions. Examples: Pepsi or coke,  Dodge or Chevy,  Spicy or mild, etc etc., Anything to break the tension

(in reply to kindawild)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: questions to ask a perspective Dom/Master - 10/26/2007 2:24:11 PM   
Decimus


Posts: 174
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline 		Ohhh Superheros..........What about Supervillians? MAGENETO ALL THE WAY! Hmmm Pepsi or Coke? Mountian Dew! Dodge or Chevy...Defintely Chevy for the Vette Oh wait sorry I'm not a dom!

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Here is my story that some people have asked for, www.beginningofdreams.com

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)
Profile   Post #: 33
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