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Stay at home Domme - 10/25/2007 4:33:58 AM   
twistedwillow


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline 		This question is inspired by a thread on the alt lifestyles in the news forum.
In it, it was said that a lot of people could use a housewife to do all those little housey things that needed doing to keep a place running smoothly.

Now my question is .. are there many Dom\mes  who are house wives\hubbys and\or stay at home mum\dads, or is this the sole (I hesitate to use generalities) domain of your subs?
Is it 'beneath' you as a Dom\me to be a stay at home?



~curiosity called and its name is twisted willow~

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RE: Stay at home Domme - 10/25/2007 4:40:03 AM   
MamaDomme


Posts: 283
Joined: 12/28/2006
Status: offline 		I have been a stay at home Domme in the past.  Yes, I ran a household and had UMs running around but that didn't diminish my ability to be a very effective Domme.

And yes, I will be one again.  I have many projects that need my attention and a 9-5 workday job just won't allow me the freedom to do other things that need doing.

No, it's certainly not something I feel should be looked at as a "beneath" thing.  Just a set of circumstances that work well for some people.

(in reply to twistedwillow)
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RE: Stay at home Domme - 10/25/2007 5:37:49 AM   
petdave


Posts: 2479
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: twistedwillow
Now my question is .. are there many Dom\mes  who are house wives\hubbys and\or stay at home mum\dads, or is this the sole (I hesitate to use generalities) domain of your subs?
Is it 'beneath' you as a Dom\me to be a stay at home?


i don't think there are many people in general who can afford to be stay-at-home anything, but from a lot of reading in the Mistress forum here and in other places, more would prefer to stay home and let their slaves go to work than support a houseslave. Work sucks.

(in reply to twistedwillow)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Stay at home Domme - 10/25/2007 7:25:35 AM   
MsIncontrol


Posts: 261
Joined: 10/3/2007
Status: offline 		I am currently "between jobs" and trying to change careers so the transition has taken longer than I had hoped.  I took the summer off to explore options and just started my job search in September.  I LOVE being a SAHD (Stay at Home Domme).  I have so much more energy at the end of the day that our play has increased significantly.  I don't mind staying up till all hours of the night because I don't have to be up at the crack of dawn.  Also, I was traveling quite a bit and now I am here every day.

I have a lot more time on my hands so I have picked up areas that my submissive used to care for such as some of the cleaning, errands and I don't mind.  It just means I have more time to play with my toy when he gets home from a long hard day at work. 

Since I was making more $$ than he and our income has decreased significantly I was forced to re-evaluate our budget.  I like making him pack a lunch so I can still get a mani/pedi each week.  It only reinforces some of the D/s energy in our home.

The only downside is because we have less money we can't really afford to travel for BDSM events like we used to. This is the first in many years we skipped the Folsom Street Festival in S.F.  We still do our local events...but we love to travel and meet kinksters around the globe.

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(in reply to petdave)
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RE: Stay at home Domme - 10/25/2007 7:31:12 AM   
TheChauvinist


Posts: 76
Joined: 10/14/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: twistedwillow

is this the sole (I hesitate to use generalities) domain of your subs?
Yes
quote:

Is it 'beneath' you as a Dom\me to be a stay at home?
Yes

(in reply to twistedwillow)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Stay at home Domme - 10/25/2007 7:33:10 AM   
wisteriaV


Posts: 438
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline 		Some people are fortunate to stay at home as well as work from home. For example; psychologists, midwives, therapists, accountants, day care providers,  ect..So yea the possibility is there!

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RE: Stay at home Domme - 10/25/2007 8:03:13 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		I do not agree with stay at home Dom's Dommes.  You use loose your self respect and you get trapped in a world of codependency. 

(in reply to wisteriaV)
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RE: Stay at home Domme - 10/25/2007 8:06:52 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Being a stay at home Domme wouldn't be such a bad thing, as long as I was still earning an income.  Working from home would be My best option, but it isn't a viable one just now.

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(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
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RE: Stay at home Domme - 10/25/2007 8:30:59 AM   
sammiebabygirl


Posts: 465
Joined: 10/23/2004
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

I do not agree with stay at home Dom's Dommes.  You use loose your self respect and you get trapped in a world of codependency. 


You identify as an adult baby. You would not want a Domme who could stay home and be a Mama Domme for you?
 
jen

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(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
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RE: Stay at home Domme - 10/25/2007 8:48:50 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I would love to be a stay at home!  But I would still have to earn money, and pursue my art and my profession.  It only takes so long to clean a house, after all. 

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RE: Stay at home Domme - 10/25/2007 8:55:29 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Stay at home workers is what I call them rather than "housewives" and no its not a job I look down . It is a lot of hard work to work at home, more so than many people realize, throw children into the mix and its probably one of the most difficult and least appreciated jobs out there.

I have done it but frankly I got bored very quickly. I am used to working outside of the home and at a very fast pace. I missed getting out and working with my coworkers too much. Now I am the boss of my company and I have a maid that comes in to clean for me. I appreciate this woman who cleans my house more than words can express and I make sure that she knows it on holidays and such with special gifts that I know she likes.

If I had a live in slave and he wanted to stay home that would be fine with me but I'd want him to work at least part-time so that if something happened to me there wouldnt be a big empty space on his resume from not working.

~Lashra



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(in reply to twistedwillow)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Stay at home Domme - 10/25/2007 9:10:50 AM   
RosesHaveThorns


Posts: 312
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline 		I could see a Stay at home Domme/Dom someone that effiently runs a home with a girm grip, awaiting the slaves to walk back into their domain, and follow the dom/domme's rules once again before entering. Maintaining the home as they see fit, seeing that every little speck is cleared, and that everything is in place. And woe be it to the slave that puts something out of place!

And of course, placing the 'ums and pets and other distractions where they belong, and then ordering play NOW.

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Stay at home Domme - 10/25/2007 9:22:17 AM   
MsIncontrol


Posts: 261
Joined: 10/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

I do not agree with stay at home Dom's Dommes.  You use loose your self respect and you get trapped in a world of codependency. 


I disagree with this totally.  Being home has not made  me lose my self respect one bit.  In fact, I am doing things for myself all day, not for some pencil dick boss.  I go to the gym, pilates, volunteering, reading more and bettering myself..etc.  Things that make me feel great about myself and respect myself even more.  I am more confident and have a ton more energy. 

Perhaps because I am married, perhaps because we are not hard - up for money I do not feel co-dependent on my submissive in any way.  I still control ALL the money, even if I am not currently earning it.  Furthermore, I have no need to ask for money or not feel worthy of buying what I want/need when I want/need it.  Do I feel trapped??  Not at all.  I am still able to contribute to our savings and have quite a large personal nest egg should I ever need it. I have a large group of friends and have plenty of opportunity to communicate and socialize with other adults. 


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Happiness is only real when shared. - Christopher McCandless

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Stay at home Domme - 10/25/2007 9:26:59 AM   
MsIncontrol


Posts: 261
Joined: 10/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RosesHaveThorns
Maintaining the home as they see fit, seeing that every little speck is cleared, and that everything is in place. And woe be it to the slave that puts something out of place!



I am very much like this.  If anything is out of place for more then 24 hours it gets thrown in the trash.  Including ipods, shoes, etc... I keep a very tidy house and expect all who enter my domain to keep it in the way I see fit or be prepared for the punishment if they do not.

< Message edited by MsIncontrol -- 10/25/2007 9:27:49 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Stay at home Domme - 10/25/2007 9:50:14 AM   
abytchgoddess4u


Posts: 268
Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wisteriaV
Some people are fortunate to stay at home as well as work from home. For example; psychologists, midwives, therapists, accountants, day care providers,  ect..So yea the possibility is there!


*slight threadjack*

I am a midwife and that is exactly why I want to have a Stay At Home Sub...eventually. It's always mentioned early in negotiations/getting to know one another.

If I have to be away from the house for 2 or 3 days, I need to know that my (eventual) UMs caregiver knows who hates peanut butter and who has to be at soccer by 4pm. I do not want to have to think about the details when I am gone...so I can focus on my work, to which I am extremely committed. Also; I am constantly on-call. If I have to leave the house at 4am, I need to know the rhythm of the home will be undisturbed.

Lastly; and most importantly, I know that I would not have the patience and tolerence to be my (eventual) UMs primary caregiver. I would go crazy and it would not be fair to them.

I'm waaay too much of a perfectionist...I'll be leaving the snotty noses to my SAHS.
----------
To the OP:
Of course, that's just my preference...I don't think it's beneath me or innapropriate to be a SAHD.

-----
Edited b/c apparently the 'at' symbol is verboten.


< Message edited by abytchgoddess4u -- 10/25/2007 9:55:21 AM >

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Ask all from yourself." Rumi

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(in reply to wisteriaV)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Stay at home Domme - 10/25/2007 9:58:04 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sammiebabygirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

I do not agree with stay at home Dom's Dommes.  You use loose your self respect and you get trapped in a world of codependency. 


You identify as an adult baby. You would not want a Domme who could stay home and be a Mama Domme for you?
 
jen


lol thats a fantasy but i am more about passion romance and the whole everything yep while fantasy is really really really cool. owning someones heart and mind on both sides of the fence rules cause thats a life long thingy

(in reply to sammiebabygirl)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Stay at home Domme - 10/25/2007 10:04:40 AM   
YourNextProperty


Posts: 1
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline 		I believe it really depends on the individual. If you are a Domme who has a solid self-worth and strong sense of identity then staying at home (or not) won't affect your happiness and your Dominance. Doing housework does not become a submissive act for a stay at home Domme unless She preceives it that way due to Her frail psyche.

(in reply to abytchgoddess4u)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Stay at home Domme - 10/25/2007 10:05:48 AM   
MsPleasure


Posts: 215
Joined: 1/1/2007
Status: offline 		I wish I did know about this when I was a stay at home mom.  Its the MOST underated, yet highly prestigious job I've ever had. 

(in reply to twistedwillow)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Stay at home Domme - 10/25/2007 10:23:28 AM   
MiladyElaine


Posts: 1086
Joined: 10/10/2004
Status: offline 		Doesn't bother Me one whit.  In fact to My way of thinking, that's what a slave is for, to support his Mistress.  his money will be Mine as well as everything else about him. 
There are some things pretaining to housework that I will do just because I can't stand it NOT done and that's dishes sitting around.  And I like to shop.
he can carry the grocieries in and put them away, but I like to do the actual shopping.


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A crazy quilt is warm but oddly put together.

Milady

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Stay at home Domme - 10/25/2007 10:57:51 AM   
GhitaAmati


Posts: 3263
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline 		Can someone please explain to me how staying at home equates to being co-dependant?

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Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
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(in reply to MsPleasure)
Profile   Post #: 20
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