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Some so-called Masters just give Collars away? - 8/1/2005 8:33:08 PM   
oceanprincess


Posts: 42
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		To me, a collar is not just given to anyone. It's earned, I had to earn mine, it wasn't just given to me. I had to stare at it, wondering if I would like the feel of it around my neck, if I would love to wear it, and what exactly it would mean to me.

Yes, this is my first post. I am in the collarme chat right now, and some dude, I won't say his name, just asked me if I would wear his collar? He doesn't even know me.

If only money was given away this freely, lol...

Has anyone came across the same thing?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Some so-called Masters just give Collars away? - 8/1/2005 8:42:14 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		For each dominant giving collars out like candy necklaces, there is at least once sub dying for some sugar.

Figure out what works for you and leave the rest, they won't change, neither will you.

(in reply to oceanprincess)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Some so-called Masters just give Collars away? - 8/2/2005 3:40:38 AM   
masie


Posts: 27
Joined: 7/26/2005
Status: offline 		hi

im relatively new to this site but have been with Master for 7 years, i was living with Him for 2 years before He collared me and i remember feeling that i was not doing things right, although i was doing my best to please Him, its a personal thing i guess but Master explained to me that in His opinion a collar needed to be earnt and if given away freely then what signaficance does it hold? however many think of collars as an accessory to a "scene" and i respect that, but i am proud to wear mine as i earnt it

respectfully
masie

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Some so-called Masters just give Collars away? - 8/2/2005 6:37:57 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		it took me 6 months to earn my collar from my late Master i was completly new to the lifestyle and had to be trained. I guess i was a quick learned i was in my collar for 4 1/2 years before he passed away. But it meant more because when he gave it to me i knew i was doing things right(pleasing him).

littleone

(in reply to oceanprincess)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Some so-called Masters just give Collars away? - 8/2/2005 7:23:04 AM   
plantlady64


Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline 		Hello There,
I agree with your line of thinking.
I think some Doms use collars like a worm on a hook to catch fish. They think if you'll agree to wear a collar they will be in charge. Some are not confident enough to give orders without the outward sign you submit to them around your neck. They need it like a crutch to be Dominant.
I wear my Masters Training collar as this is my first year in this lifestyle. I will be under the training collar till 2/24/06. Then not only am I going to take a real god locking collar from my Master but I'm also going to be branded with the BDSM symbol on my butt about the size of a quarter. We are doing both the non-removable real collar and sealing the commitment to be my Masters slave with the branding. We take my collaring very seriously.
I think collars show ownership in my life, but I see them used in many other capacities too though. Everyone from teenage girls in leather chokers to circle and bone slave catches on everyday unsuspecting folk who have no idea. The lines are pretty murkey these days really.
I classify the traditional collars in our BDSM life in many levels also. There's the temporary collar you wear in a Dom's presence when you spend time with him but remove when you leave, there's the service collar for those who are in service to a Master but not traditionally owned, there are training collars that mean someone is instructing you and temporarily owns you during your training period, then there's the real collar which is like getting married as a Master and sub/slave for real. With so many options available of its symbolism it's no wonder people are throwing them around like Frisbees.
I say keep the meanings of the ones you accept crystal clear with you and the one who puts his on you, and don't worry what the others view it as. If you’re a Dom or Top I'd ask what the meaning of one on someone would mean before I'd touch someone though. Touching a sub/slave under a real collar may cause trouble if you don't have her/his Masters permission.

Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to oceanprincess)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Some so-called Masters just give Collars away? - 8/2/2005 7:50:59 AM   
imtempting


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		aint this in one of the other boards?

(in reply to oceanprincess)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Some so-called Masters just give Collars away? - 8/2/2005 9:01:25 AM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		Personally, I believe that -both- have to earn the collar. The submissive person has to earn the right to wear it and the dominant person has to earn the right to offer it. I don't believe that it is the submissive party's job, alone, to proove him/herself "worthy" of it, as I don't believe submissive people are innately less than dominant ones.

I didn't beg or earn my collar. My relationship grew untill that collar made sense--he knew I wanted it, and I knew I could trust him enough to accept it and everything it entailed.

Still, though, I figure whatever works for the individaul is ok with me, as long as the individual doesnt' tell me I have to do it that way too.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to imtempting)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Some so-called Masters just give Collars away? - 8/2/2005 10:48:25 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

Has anyone came across the same thing?


sort of. this slave was in a bar once and this stumbling-down drunk looked at her and said "willllll youuuuuu marrry meeeee?"

(in reply to oceanprincess)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Some so-called Masters just give Collars away? - 8/2/2005 11:11:39 AM   
plantlady64


Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

this slave was in a bar once and this stumbling-down drunk looked at her and said "willllll youuuuuu marrry meeeee?"


Hello There,
I can beat that. I was going into a 7-11 store and a guy panhandeling out in front saw my collar. I came out with a ham sandwich for him. When I gave it to him he said I see your a collared slave. Can I be your Master? I of course politely just said, no, I'm sorry I already have one and got into my car quickly.
A second wierd thing that happened was a 12 or so year old boy was selling boxed candy for some teen group in front of my grocery store. I told him I was not interested in the candy and gave him a dollar. When I was about 25 feet away from him and almost to the door of the store he said Excuse me Miss, you have something on your neck. I grabbed my collar and said this? He said yes. I said honey I know I have this neclace on and went into the store. I have no idea how he could have thought I didn't know it was there so I've often wondered what he was thinking in his head.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Some so-called Masters just give Collars away? - 8/2/2005 1:31:35 PM   
Fidelity


Posts: 192
Joined: 8/1/2005
Status: offline 		How blithely a thing is given usually shows how much it is valued by the giver.

See if he gives you his Mercedes with equal ease.

(in reply to oceanprincess)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Some so-called Masters just give Collars away? - 8/2/2005 1:57:28 PM   
domm4subf1970


Posts: 64
Joined: 7/31/2005
Status: offline 		I agree I would not jsut give something like this away.

(in reply to Fidelity)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Some so-called Masters just give Collars away? - 8/2/2005 2:50:50 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Fidelity

How blithely a thing is given usually shows how much it is valued by the giver.

See if he gives you his Mercedes with equal ease.

Why all the issues with the DOMS? They aren't putting collars on their televisions, these subs are ACCEPTING them and WANTING them, they have just as much responsibility here as the dom.

And I don't think it's a matter of time or numbers- if the relationship makes you happy, enjoy it.

(in reply to Fidelity)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Some so-called Masters just give Collars away? - 8/2/2005 3:43:03 PM   
Hissweetshiv


Posts: 200
Joined: 6/24/2005
Status: offline 		Sadly enough, there are many out there who, through lack of experience or simply through not caring, either toss out velcro collars, or accept them one after another. I can't see this changing. For Master and i, the collar has equal significance with a wedding ring. It is a commitment that can't be tossed away on a whim. For some it might as well be just a necklace (no suzanne i don't mean you - the term just stuck) for all the meaning it has to them. All you can do is worry about you and ignore the trolls.

_____________________________

"Put your big girl panties on and deal with it."

"Forget love...i'd rather fall in chocolate."


(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Some so-called Masters just give Collars away? - 8/4/2005 9:55:52 AM   
Dracironsgirl


Posts: 175
Joined: 7/2/2005
Status: offline 		i'm new to the lifestyle so i didnt know much of the protocol, i met 2 Masters who right away wanted to collar me. i thought this was strange, now i know it's wierd for a Master to be so fast to collar one before even knowing them, collars i feel should be earned and it's a huge committment.
~kristin

(in reply to oceanprincess)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Some so-called Masters just give Collars away? - 8/4/2005 10:45:48 AM   
nella


Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline 		To me quite honest, for me a collar, even if representing my and my Dom`s intrest in BDSM is more of a butiful jewlery then anything else, and i have several of them, and a few of them i myself picked out. That hovever do not mean that my Dom and me is any less dedicated to one another, we simply do not follow collar protocol.

(in reply to Dracironsgirl)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Some so-called Masters just give Collars away? - 8/5/2005 3:12:46 PM   
sultryvoice


Posts: 368
Joined: 3/31/2004
Status: offline 		We call those Doms who buy their collars by the gross! I have never been collared but unless I earned it and he felt that I did, I would be happy to have it. Just like an engagement ring, you only want it when it's the right thing for the both of you. It's a serious matter and I would not take it lightly..Those that do, just give the rest a bad name and it's a shame that they seem to think they are a dime a dozen!

Respectfully,
sultry

_____________________________

Blessed are the cracked,
For it is they who let in the light.


www.themarkbycpi.com

(in reply to oceanprincess)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Some so-called Masters just give Collars away? - 8/5/2005 3:37:52 PM   
dominmd


Posts: 474
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		A question? Can a switch be collared?

And I believe that the collar is a sign of deep commitment between both people. The same as marriage is to vanilla people.

(in reply to sultryvoice)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Some so-called Masters just give Collars away? - 8/5/2005 3:52:23 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dominmd

A question? Can a switch be collared?

Depends on the type of switch and type of relationship. Obviously a slave can be owned and still be allowed to dominate someone else.
quote:


And I believe that the collar is a sign of deep commitment between both people. The same as marriage is to vanilla people.

A collar is a symbol that can be whatever we want it to be, also like a marriage.

(in reply to dominmd)
Profile   Post #: 18
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