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RE: Where do I fit? - 10/29/2007 9:01:27 PM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
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"Ugh no, I can't stand when people call me "sister" or presume some sort of connection just because we both happen to have a similar relationship orientation. Trust me, people in the scene don't stand together any more than anywhere else. And the ones who stand close are more likely to have the knife in the ir hands for your back."

Sorry but experience says that LA is as usual correct. Just because someone is in the scene doesn't make them any more trustworthy than anyone else. Matter of fact, since the fishbowl is so small, I have seen some damn awful activity and backstabbing go down in the BDSM arena. This applies equally to both masters and slaves.

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RE: Where do I fit? - 10/30/2007 6:18:17 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
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I have too and those are not my sisters. Some are, some not. I was referring to the ones that are. But what LA said to me was a bit mean and like slapping a hand that is reaching out in friendship. If people walk around believing people are out to get them then they will certainly attract that negative to their life. I certainly am not going to go around thinking people who are nice are going to backstab me. I certainly like people who reach out in a positive way. No not everyone is my sister. But there is a sisterhood in female friendships that is very valuble through life. Your female friends if you choose wisely will be there through boyfriends, husbands, births and death. They will pick you up when you fall and help brush you off.

If you havent experienced this then I feel sorry for you. If you havent found positive support here then maybe you are looking in the wrong directions.

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 10/30/2007 6:20:23 AM >

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RE: Where do I fit? - 10/30/2007 9:10:31 AM

wisteriaV

Posts: 438
Joined: 3/17/2005
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I would agree with LA. I am a slave to Master. I call no one else Master. I have no sisters as Master has yet to find the other one to complete the family. I find it presuming alot to think that because we have a common thread that we are all sisters. I find no sisterhood here online. I have biological sisters for that IF necessary. If somechoose to see it then its thier issue not mine.

_____________________________

Every story has two sides , much like a coin and neither one is totally perfect.
If it doesn't float your boat, then don't get in the water~!

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RE: Where do I fit? - 10/30/2007 12:18:30 PM

Mavis

Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
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As far as munches, if you only saw discussion on playstyles, that could just be because.. there are various topics scheduled, and you have to kind of cycle thru naturally. go back. Attend several, 6 months worth should get the gammut of the things taught there, if education is a focus of the munch group. As was mentioned before, look for the couples or families that are still together since last visit, those might be ppl to watch for successful patterns... although situations might be diff, there are usually some patterns of success that apply across the board.

::; packs no knives, but sometimes speaks with a hard edge :::

_____________________________

~ Mavis

none of this applies to me, i'm only playing with lables this week.

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RE: Where do I fit? - 10/30/2007 1:15:15 PM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: j0urney

I am not sure where I fit or what I say I seek in the lifestyle. I know I am strongly connected mentally when I think of D/s. I think of a Master a Dom like a daddy....
wanting to please him, obey him, follow his rules and desire his discipline. I want to be all I can for this man. I do not seek to be bad to be beaten. I seek to be good and yet I love him to be in control...firm and consistant. Often I have come across profiles that are just here to find sexual playmates....Do they even understand the development of the bond and connection? I attended a munch along time ago..and all they talked was how to hurt their sub...not how to develop the mental connection. What part of D/s do I fit in?

With respect....

Welcome to the boards. Nice first post...you fit into the "I want the emotional and mental aspects of a D/s relationship along with the physical" club. Lots of members including, believe it or not, many dominants.

But the level of intensity and depth of all three aspects can vary within an individual. If you met someone who matched up completely to you in terms of what they want mentally and emotionally, it is entirely possible that his physical wants and needs and desires vary wildly from yours. Do you cast him aside when he is such a perfect match in other ways or do you at least give discussion and negotiation and compromise a go? Conversely, if you meet someone whose physical wants and needs and desires are a perfect, incendiary match to your kindling but whose ideas of what he wants mentally and emotionally do not match up to yours, do you cast him aside or do you give discussion, negotiation and compromise a go?

There are many casual relationships that have a mental and emotional aspect to them along with the physical, as noted by LA. But the partners involved in these relationships have decided that while they enjoy each other over the short term, they may not be suited to each other long term OR they just may not want long-term commitments. Is it a different club? Yes but no less worthy than the club spoken of above, just different.

I've been involved in the casual and I have been involved in the long-term. I prefer long-term relationships but I have no desire to be "forced" into a situation where I have to act one way to achieve what I really want in the relationship...I do not want to have to act as if I am "in love" when I am not in order to have the physical NOR do I want to have to indulge in a type of play that is so far-removed from my comfort zone in order to have the emotional and mental candy of the person I am with. So I discuss...endlessly...and negotiate and compromise. I try to be attractive on all three levels but honest on all three levels so that people dealing with me know where I stand and where they stand with me.

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