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Earth to Pro Domme - come in, Pro Domme - 10/26/2007 7:03:47 AM

RealityLicks

Posts: 1615
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

First of all, hello to everyone. I'm new and still finding my feet but I want to keep my expectations realistic and I'm posting for guidance in that regard.

Here's my query, any help received will be greatly appreciated. I don't feel entirely comfortable with the dynamic of paid scenes, but since I do have a very specific interest which isn't catered for on the checklist - and which said Domme has expressed a liking for on these boards - I decided to bend my general rule and approach her.

I received a prompt reply, stating prices and stipulating boundaries. So far so good. Encouraged, I requested a picture. Even in the short time I've been on here, its seemed obvious that a Pro Domina would not baulk at such a request or if she had reservations would at least detail them. I can't be the first to have asked, surely?

Anyway, as you'll have guessed, I received no further reply, although she has clearly visited the site since then. It's plain that no response will be forthcoming.

Can anyone give me an idea as to what I might have done wrong, or anything in my profile which might explain this volte face?
(Apart from it carrying a general stipulation that cash transactions ain't my thing. By contacting her, its clear that I am making an exception for her.)

As you'll also note, I generally don't go for capitalisations and all that but again, I'm flexible enough not to be D/dogmatic. I talk as an equal until invited to communicate on a different level. Mystified as to what went wrong.

So is this individual's behaviour standard here? I'm resigned to move on in this case and that's OK but I want to get the ground rules because it might save me and others a lot of time...

Post #: 1

RE: Earth to Pro Domme - come in, Pro Domme - 10/26/2007 7:35:13 AM

MamaDomme

Posts: 283
Joined: 12/28/2006
Status: offline

I would be very apprehensive of any ProDomme without a pic in her profile, and even more apprehensive if she refused to send you one.

My guess is that it is actually a man posing as a female.

(in reply to RealityLicks)

Post #: 2

RE: Earth to Pro Domme - come in, Pro Domme - 10/26/2007 7:43:16 AM

underyourshoe

Posts: 18
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MamaDomme

I would be very apprehensive of any ProDomme without a pic in her profile, and even more apprehensive if she refused to send you one.

My guess is that it is actually a man posing as a female.

agreed, ive been there and paid the price

(in reply to MamaDomme)

Post #: 3

RE: Earth to Pro Domme - come in, Pro Domme - 10/26/2007 7:44:11 AM

PrincessinLatex

Posts: 191
Joined: 7/4/2005
Status: offline

Hey RL,

I think it depends on the context. If she has no photos on her profile or no website with a plethora of pictures of her. . .then yes. . .asking for a photo is reasonable. However, if she does have pics on her profile or directed you to her website and the site has pictures of her. . .isn't asking for more pics a bit redundant?

I get that a lot. . .and I'd ingore the person asking for more pics since I already have several up. It just reaks of game playing and wankerishness. Just my 2 cents so mileage may vary.

_____________________________

If you are pervy and you know it, come visit me at ** Got Kink? **

(in reply to RealityLicks)

Post #: 4

RE: Earth to Pro Domme - come in, Pro Domme - 10/26/2007 8:28:01 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I do agree with Princess in Latex, if there are pics on the site, there you are. I always met my clients at a neutral location for coffee FIRST before they ever got so much as directions to my studio. Don't pay unless you do something like that as well, for your own peace of mind, at the very least.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to PrincessinLatex)

Post #: 5

RE: Earth to Pro Domme - come in, Pro Domme - 10/26/2007 8:34:34 AM

Jasmyn

Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline

You saw she shared an interest in your particular kink and you enquired about that kink, she respnded with the necessary information... how she looks, she may feel, is completely irrellevant ... her skills and experiences with your specific kink is more important than her physical self ...

I have had the same, where potential clientel have enquired re sessions and wanting a blow by blow description of how I look... what I look like does not matter in the grand scheme of things ... my ability to create a session within my skills and his needs is what is important... and is what should be the focus of any discussion ...so I tell my boys ...regardless of whether I am head to toe in fetish gear or wearing a hessian sack and cotton bloomers, or a size 8 or a size 28 ... all they need to focus on is that I am the dominant and they are the willing ... the majority of my clientel book sessions sight unseen ...

I can't speak for the dom in question ... but it could simply be a case of her thinking 'fuck you' and writing you off as a wanna be try hard... you solicited her ...not the other way around ... if her looks were important you should have enquired after a pic before soliciting her for a session.

Thats my 2cents anyway.

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.

Visit My Website

(in reply to PrincessinLatex)

Post #: 6

RE: Earth to Pro Domme - come in, Pro Domme - 10/26/2007 8:37:52 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

My best guess would be that she decided that your request was either too soon, or not submissive enough for her tastes. I am not saying I agree on either level, but there are the contingent of those who do in fact think that a submissive should not request anything at any time.
If you have a specific interest that is not addressed on the checklist, then put it in your written ad part. Not all of us are slaves to the checklist *no pun intended* and we have many interests that are not there. It isnt all inclusive, its just a bit of a window into the more standard list of things people can easily check and understand.
If she isnt writing back, chalk it up as a lesson learned and move on. You havent lost much time and no money as of yet, and if she has decided you arent worth her time then so be it. Its money she is losing, not you. You'd think a pro would not wish to turn down a potetial paying customer for a simple picture request. If she had pther pictures up, it would be more logical to just redirect you to them a second time (if she had mentioned them a first) than say to hell with the income he didnt go look. There are many reasons the Domme in question might have objected, some more legitimate than others, but unless she specifically chimes in here, you'll never have that answer. Dont dwell on it too long, its the net after all. There wil be someone else out there lookig for the same thing.

My 2 cents
DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 7

RE: Earth to Pro Domme - come in, Pro Domme - 10/26/2007 8:39:29 AM

Jasmyn

Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MamaDomme

I would be very apprehensive of any ProDomme without a pic in her profile, and even more apprehensive if she refused to send you one.

To my mind it doesn't read like she's refused him a pic, that would imply she's wrote back with a 'no' ...her lack of contact after this request for one... might simply be her exercising her right to not pander to wank material ...

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.

Visit My Website

(in reply to MamaDomme)

Post #: 8

RE: Earth to Pro Domme - come in, Pro Domme - 10/26/2007 8:54:37 AM

Honsoku

Posts: 422
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline

Also keep in mind that if you are messaging through Collarme, that the site has a nasty tendency to eat messages (damn server gerbils). It is entirely possible that your message was not even received.

(in reply to RealityLicks)

Post #: 9

RE: Earth to Pro Domme - come in, Pro Domme - 10/26/2007 10:17:18 AM

RealityLicks

Posts: 1615
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

Many thanks to everyone who has taken the time to reply; it's much appreciated. My initial reaction after considering your responses is that this particular avenue is a blind alley. Just to clarify: there are no photos on her profile here - if there were I wouldn't ask for another. Also, there isn't a website address, either in her profile or her messages to me. My suspicion is that this is either a guy or some other fake, like, maybe a kid?

I certainly wasn't looking for "wank material". There's rather a lot of it online already it seems but as my name implies, I like "reality". In any event, if that had been the problem, it might have been provident for her to communicate that concern to me - maybe she's busy and turns a lot of business away. I'm annoyed at myself because I got excited at a certain prospect and it turns out to be nothing but a mirage. I'll live.

The most important consideration was whether they were genuine - not being a fetish pin-up. Character is important and you can tell a lot from a simple face pic.

Although... if you're paying for a scene, is it wrong to want an idea of who it will be with? I've played with people whom once upon a time I might not have considered my "type" in terms of looks and learned, thankfully, to be much more fluid in that respect. But in honesty, there are still people out there with whom I would not want to play because of their appearance. Anyway, I thought it best to get it resolved up front. We're talking about more than a four hour driving round trip, plus chill out time as well as the payment. Don't you pay so that you have those choices? And would she want someone to show up and - even for a split second - look a bit , y'know... down in the mouth? I feel a bit shallow admitting it now but its the truth.

Anyway, onwards and upwards...

(in reply to Honsoku)

Post #: 10

RE: Earth to Pro Domme - come in, Pro Domme - 10/26/2007 10:24:35 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Well, there are young and dumb and full of cum males and females that right out of the chute set themselves up as interTubelian Masters of the universe........

So, it could even be a young (or old) lady just dipping in the waters by use of short toes.

But yeah, no self respecting pro is not gonna be self respecting.

Ron(ne)

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to RealityLicks)

Post #: 11

RE: Earth to Pro Domme - come in, Pro Domme - 10/26/2007 10:37:31 AM

Jasmyn

Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline

Yay Reality you came back ... a lot of first time thread starters don't ...

And excuse my 'wank material' comment ... I wasn't trying to imply that is what you were after ... but rather that that can be how the pic request gets viewed by the receiver of such requests ... and lol I'm a little jaded after fielding yet another professional call asking me if they will "get relief" with that ... which I usually respond with "yes, you'll be greatly relieved when I let you go, and you find your penis is still intact" ...

Ps I don't think there was anything wrong with the request for the pic... just maybe in future if you're drawn to enquire about a professional session again that you ascertain first whether or not this person does it for you

PPs ... don't feel guilty ...being a shallow Hal isn't a bad thing ... xx

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.

Visit My Website

(in reply to RealityLicks)

Post #: 12

RE: Earth to Pro Domme - come in, Pro Domme - 10/26/2007 12:19:53 PM

RealityLicks

Posts: 1615
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

Thanks for the welcome, Jasmyn. Though I can't conceive how anyone could possibly question your appearance!

"yes, you'll be greatly relieved when I let you go, and you find your penis is still intact" ...

Very funny and too good for them, I say.

(in reply to Jasmyn)

Post #: 13

RE: Earth to Pro Domme - come in, Pro Domme - 10/26/2007 12:26:34 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I don't have an issue with a client wanting to see my picture first. My former dungeon partner was a 6' tall blonde---some came to her because they were attracted to that Amazon type---and stayed for her general awesomeness! I am a short brunette with big boobs, another type entirely. Just as we choose our life partners for appealing appearance, I think it's reasonable to choose pro dominants for their look as well.

Though, I must say, anyone choosing a young girl with perky ones is probably not going to get the same kind of scene as they would from someone older and more experienced. <G>

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to RealityLicks)

Post #: 14

RE: Earth to Pro Domme - come in, Pro Domme - 10/26/2007 2:18:22 PM

MistresssAria

Posts: 165
Joined: 6/17/2007
Status: offline

Sometimess I take a while to get back to potential subs.....how long has it been since she's contacted you? I don't sit on the computer all day.........I also tend to sign in at home and then leave this site open, even when I'm not actively using it...........and I'll skim through messages at work without responding (why does this site have to show if messages have been read? subs freak out about that!).
Anyways - I think it was perfectly appropriate to ask for a picture.
Good Luck!

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 15

RE: Earth to Pro Domme - come in, Pro Domme - 10/26/2007 2:38:12 PM

Goddess20

Posts: 73
Joined: 7/12/2007
From: Birmingham, England
Status: offline

Hmmmmm, reality licks, are My ears burning?!

I think so!

It has been two days since our last contact (and it will be our last contact) I havent read your message as you appear in My bulk mail (Why? I dont know) which I don't check everyday! Im not on her at all times of the day and night to cater to your mails as I do actually have a job (2 actually), friends, family AND A LIFE!

I dont have a picture YET for reasons I have already explained to you.

Earth to Pro Domme!
More like earth to submissive! GET OVER YOURSELF! you need to learn your status!

(in reply to RealityLicks)

Post #: 16

RE: Earth to Pro Domme - come in, Pro Domme - 10/26/2007 5:12:55 PM

petdave

Posts: 2479
Status: offline

Heh, well that certainly raised my personal recommendation from "walk away" to "run away"

(in reply to Goddess20)

Post #: 17

RE: Earth to Pro Domme - come in, Pro Domme - 10/26/2007 9:54:33 PM

iammachine

Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline

quote:

(Apart from it carrying a general stipulation that cash transactions ain't my thing. By contacting her, its clear that I am making an exception for her.

Actually, it's unfortunately not clear.

There are plenty of submissives that will contact a professional with the impression that they are somehow special and the pro's service should be quid pro quo by virtue of their "submission".

If you did not specifically acknowledge being amiable to her terms, and then asked for a photo, she may have gotten the wrong impression.

_____________________________

I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

(in reply to RealityLicks)

Post #: 18

RE: Earth to Pro Domme - come in, Pro Domme - 10/26/2007 10:14:53 PM

MstrssScarlet

Posts: 633
Joined: 6/3/2005
From: Indianapolis, Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: petdave

Heh, well that certainly raised my personal recommendation from "walk away" to "run away"

I'm afraid I'll have to agree with you. I sometimes get behind, but I explain to my potential clients why and try to get back with them as soon as possible. I've pared down my pictures to just one because even with about a dozen posted, I would get complaints that there weren't enough. I will probably not post anymore until I get fresh ones.
You have to realize that to someone new, two days can seem like an eternity. But I also agree with Jasmyn. I don't always like the fact that people can see when I'm on line and when I open their messages because it makes them all the more anxious.
Mistress Scarlet

_____________________________

"Say, that hurts a little bit" "And you don't like to be hurt do ya?" "I don't know...kinda fun sometimes if it's done in the right spirit."
Jean Harlow in The Beast of the City

(in reply to petdave)

Post #: 19

RE: Earth to Pro Domme - come in, Pro Domme - 10/26/2007 10:22:59 PM

petdave

Posts: 2479
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: iammachine

There are plenty of submissives that will contact a professional with the impression that they are somehow special and the pro's service should be quid pro quo by virtue of their "submission".

Unfortunately, submission IS special to a lot of people

(in reply to iammachine)

Post #: 20

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