RE: When you started and where you are now

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: When you started and where you are now

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: When you started and where you are now

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: When you started and where you are now - 10/28/2007 6:12:13 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I hesitated to answer this question, because I really do not know.

I thought I did not label people when I took a sabbatical from this site, but I did label people in my head. I have taken all the labels and truly flushed them.

I struggled with some confusion as to my place, or if I even had a place, within the BDSM community over the last few months... but no matter what I consider myself a masochist. I also know that I have deep submissive tendencies. But I have no desire to submit anymore, maybe the "submit" button is broken on me?...laughing here.

My attitude about the "lifestyle" is probably not the best right now, I am kinda jaded. I have been hurt twice in these relationships, and I do not think that is a secret around here.

I have been dating vanilla guys.. nothing serious, but I inform them that I am a masochist before we go out. I accept me the way I am, and I demand either people in my life accept me or they can go fuck themselves basically. So far no one has changed their mind about a date with me, nor made any move that I consider disrespectful while on a date with me... but then again I am a hottie (weg). I believe I can get what I need in the right vanilla relationship because I do not want any rigidity in my life.... I desire balance, and I found D/s to be imbalanced for me. I want my way as much as the next person, and I need freedom to express myself creatively and to make my way economically. If I state my needs are not being met I want that to be listened to and respected. I do not want to be ordered around when it hurts me... and I do not want any relationship that is all about someone else... period.

The above should not reflect on Sinergy, I care for him deeply still, and I consider him a friend... just so people know that anything I post is not to dog on him. I just look at the profiles of men that email me and shake my head... nothing they say they want, or demand, or need to have is something that would be healthy for me. Maybe that will change one day.

I have gotten to the point that any man that emails me on a site like this just turns me off. I want someone that finds mates in the real world, not on a BDSM site. I want to be married, I do not give a rat's ass about a collar.

Hope that wasn't too much TMI

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to laurell3)

Profile

Post #: 41

RE: When you started and where you are now - 10/28/2007 6:20:06 AM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

TMI? Hell no, it was honest, insightful and refreshing. Finding your way doesn't always mean following what worked for others. It sounds like you are finding your way and it's out of the bdsm dating scene. If that works for you, then all the more power to you and good luck.
l

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Profile

Post #: 42

RE: When you started and where you are now - 10/30/2007 6:04:20 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I struggled with some confusion as to my place, or if I even had a place, within the BDSM community over the last few months... but no matter what I consider myself a masochist. I also know that I have deep submissive tendencies. But I have no desire to submit anymore, maybe the "submit" button is broken on me?...laughing here.

Hope that wasn't too much TMI

Perhaps the "button" wasn't broken after all, but there is only one person that knows how to work it....

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Profile

Post #: 43

RE: When you started and where you are now - 10/31/2007 4:08:38 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Perhaps the "button" wasn't broken after all, but there is only one person that knows how to work it....

What I do?

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Profile

Post #: 44