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RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. - 10/27/2007 7:27:34 AM

susie

Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty

quote:

This sounds like what the gorian girls talk about. "I am a super duper owned slave who will do anything" but her cowering "master" wouldn't dare ask her to even pick up after herself or lose 125 pounds for fear of her "being uncomfortable" but I AM a SLAVE dammit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the Master has gotten me to lose weight and do more strenuous tasks than picking up clothes.

Honestly, I have no need to believe that I am owned so deeply that I will do anything. There are a lot of things I would not do. Generally these are not things the Master even requests. As of yet they have never been things the Master insists upon.

quote:

It shouldn't take the threat of losing half of your assets to be comitted to a partner.

Well, it does. I can be very nice to a man that does not make a true investment in our future together but its not commitment.

How can you let someone make major decisions for you if you are not sure he is going to be there to endure the consequences?

For me, trust is intertwined with commitment. And commitment that is more than "I'll be there".

You still don't get it do you? Look at the divorce rate in the US. Look at the divorce rate in Europe. How many people are on their 2nd, 3rd or even 8th marriage. I am with someone because I want to be with him and he wants to be with me. Having a bit of paper that says he is entitled to half of our assets if we were to split (he is entitled to half of my money just as I am entitled to half of his) is not going to make him stay with me if our relationship is not working. Marriage does not make a relationship work. People do. If your relationship is not working now it is not going to work by bringing marriage into the equation.

(in reply to kitttty)

Post #: 81

RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. - 10/27/2007 7:32:36 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

If you have ums, he is risking you losing custody. He is jeopardizing your job and any future jobs you may apply for. He needs to remove them now.

Personally this would be a deal breaker for me to the point that if he refused, I would leave and contact my attorney. It is that big of a deal.

And I do not see how risking your family relationships, your friendships and your livelihood can be remotely described as "protecting the property".

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 82

RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. - 10/27/2007 7:43:09 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

i

He said that whatever he did is better than the swirl thing.

Oh I so feel for you.....
and for him to have excused himself as better than the swirl thing!!!!!!

(in reply to kitttty)

Post #: 83

RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. - 10/27/2007 7:49:14 AM

maclough

Posts: 25
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline

Ok wait a minute... so you asked for the pictures to go down and within 3 minutes they went down? Ok now may I ask what the heck the point of all this is? Even you say the punishment won't be major. As for marriage fixing it all sorry if you don't trust before marriage than to get married without trust is NOT going to make a magical trust fairy come into your room and sprinkle you with trust dust.

When you walk into a relationship if you go in thinking this is the One instead of walking in thinking this is the NEXT one well hmmn. Personally if I thought my slave/sub didn't trust me with or without marriage than I honestly wouldn't want to be with her merely for her own sanitaty.

_____________________________

huggs, kisses, whips and chains

Labels BAH

(in reply to kitttty)

Post #: 84

RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. - 10/27/2007 7:52:34 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

Fast Reply to no one in particular...

Why don't people have private lives anymore? What is it about the internet that compells people to rush to online bulletin boards to make posts about everything in their lives (great and small)?

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to maclough)

Post #: 85

RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. - 10/27/2007 7:54:08 AM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

if someone is on their eight marriage I would say that is pretty big red flag on the how to stay commited . You been married more then three there are some issuses. and that paper that ever slams is not different in the meaning of a collar. I guess it just dose not mean a lot to people. So for use that do beleve is love happiness and all the good stuff you rock. For those that do not GET BENT . thats all i have to say about that

(in reply to susie)

Post #: 86

RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. - 10/27/2007 7:56:19 AM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

there ya have it folks the clueless leading the clueless

latexbaby no one is saying anything about marriage as an institution, read her posts before you write...she's saying marriage will fix her a) complete lack of any sense of self of self-esteem and b) serious trust issues...obviously it won't.
l

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 10/27/2007 7:57:31 AM >

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 87

RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. - 10/27/2007 7:59:30 AM

winterlight

Posts: 1319
Joined: 2/18/2006
Status: offline

somebody found a way to undo a pic from a pedophile. I would hate to have my pic up esp if somebody at work has access to the same program and i was outted?

could u be fired?

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 88

RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. - 10/27/2007 7:59:50 AM

susie

Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline

Am I still on earth? Have the little green men been and taken my brain?

I am lost, so lost I am going to do the proper english thing and have afternoon tea. When I get back sense and normality will be restored.

It will be won't it??????

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 89

RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. - 10/27/2007 8:03:52 AM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

my comment was general statement for those who always make the comment that marriage does not mean anything. take it for what it is worth. that is it no more nore less

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 90

RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. - 10/27/2007 8:03:59 AM

krikket

Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline

You say that you love him, have his collar and want to be married..all good goals, imho, under normal circumstances, if that's what you want. After reading all 5 pages of this thread (what a way to spend a Sat. morning..lol), several things jump out at me. First, as many have said, this is a trust area, and that you trust in some areas and don't in others. Speaking strictly for myself partial trust just wouldn't be enough If I can't trust my partner in all areas A(and for him to trust me as well), then it's not going to work. I think we all have our own definition of a TPE, no limits relationship, and if what y'all have is working then that's great, but it sounds like it's not working so well..at least those parts that y'all allow the outside world to see.

I'd be interested to know if he reads your threads, does he respond here and what does he think of making so much public? You said that he always stops doing anything that makes you uncomfortable, which isn't always a good thing, for me anyway, but if it works for y'all then that's all that's important, I guess.

One last point I'd like to make, is this: When you take away the D/s, the play time, the pictures posted or not, the looking for another member for your partner, what is left? Do you like each other as people? Can you imagine looking at each other every morning for the next lifetime across the breakfast table?

My advise, for what it's worth, is that maybe you should both step back, take a good look at what you have and is it worth fighting for, and growing up with?

Only the two of you can make those decisions.

Good luck.

jimini

_____________________________

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin

When your heart speaks take good notes.

(in reply to maclough)

Post #: 91

RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. - 10/27/2007 8:05:43 AM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: susie

Am I still on earth? Have the little green men been and taken my brain?

I am lost, so lost I am going to do the proper english thing and have afternoon tea. When I get back sense and normality will be restored.

It will be won't it??????

not a chance in hell sister

(in reply to susie)

Post #: 92

RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. - 10/27/2007 8:11:02 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

Having taken them down doesn't protect you for the long run. You go your separate ways, he could unscramble the faces and post them everywhere as revenge, mail them to law school or prospective employers. Has he removed them from his hard drive? We've discussed pictures and he won't save them to the hard drive, only on a disc which I would get control of since I'm the one at risk.

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 93

RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. - 10/27/2007 8:11:50 AM

kitttty

Posts: 494
Joined: 10/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

Personally if I thought my slave/sub didn't trust me with or without marriage than I honestly wouldn't want to be with her merely for her own sanitaty.

Its a problem I have with the kink world- permanent commitment is valued slightly less than it is in the vanilla world.

My goal in life is to get married and have babies. The Master said I should get a JD also. He says I will be happier once I am an attorney and that its a good fall back in case I need to be gainfully employed. I figure I should have a fall back too.

I dont like relationships where my partner is not considering family and permanence. That was never a problem with my relationship- we're both the same way regarding this subject. I just dont feel that I see enough commitment to truly slough off all limits even when things bother me. I dont live with him, dont have the engagement ring...

I dont know why level of commitment (which includes the length of time the relationsip is expected to last) shouldn't matter. It matters to me.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 94

RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. - 10/27/2007 8:26:54 AM

kitttty

Posts: 494
Joined: 10/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

Do you like each other as people? Can you imagine looking at each other every morning for the next lifetime across the breakfast table?

I could have a totally vanilla relationship with him and be happy if I saw him every day. I could have a totally platonic relationship with him and still want to see him every day.

quote:

You go your separate ways, he could unscramble the faces and post them everywhere as revenge, mail them to law school or prospective employers.

That is a totally different problem. I do not believe he is trying to exploit me on purpose.

quote:

You said that he always stops doing anything that makes you uncomfortable, which isn't always a good thing, for me anyway,

Well, I mean uncomfortable in the sense that it disturbs me. If its something for my own good like making me apply to law school or making me lose weight, get a job, get health insurance, take night classes to finish my degree...all these things the Master insisted on even though I complained and complained. Failure to succeed at these things had real punishments, not physical punishments.

I was complaning about the pics but the Master did not take the site down until I started being more impulsive in the complaints. I am not allowed to call him right now, he is only the one to call me. I did not wait and I called him because I did not like how he was not discussing the issue.

So that is how it ended up. There was no discussion about it. I didn't like it and he took the site down and I get punished sort of. I dont really even know if a caning counts as a punishment except that he labelled it as a punishment.

(in reply to kitttty)

Post #: 95

RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. - 10/27/2007 8:35:30 AM

kitttty

Posts: 494
Joined: 10/10/2007
Status: offline

As for the Master reading my threads, well he has the password to this account as well as the password to the email account that I used to sign up for the kitttty account and he knows I post here and I sometimes tell him what is discussed. Generally though, he finds message boards uninteresting and prefers not to read them.

(in reply to kitttty)

Post #: 96

RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. - 10/27/2007 8:54:10 AM

bipolarber

Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline

Privacy is a dying thing. It's being lost in the flood of internet web sites, of digital photos, of CCTV cameras on every corner, and retinal/eye measurement identificcation software. Privacy, like a rare butterfly, is being steam rollered by the computer and television age. I think we all have to stop once in a while and reaccess our standing. Have you ever Googled your name? Just to see what comes up? To see what your name is linked to?

Already people are being denied jobs, access to higher education, and kept from having custody of children because of their My Space or Facebook content. I can only imagine how many social doors will get slammed in our faces if we show up on sites that feature us living out out own secret desires.

It's one thing to be proud of who you are, and what you enjoy. If you were comfortable, and even happy to show off your skills as his slave, everything would be hunky dory... But, as you've said, you have a collar... (which may just be attached with velcro) and not a legally binding marriage. You want to use that commitment, marriage, to be able to have some power over his actions. Or at least have a safeword called "divorice" that will make him think twice about fucking you over.

Obviously, the time to have negotiated this was before he whipped out the digital camera during your play scenes. By now, who knows how many people he's linked to the site, and allowed to share the photos with... and they tell two friends, and they tell two friends, and so on and so on...

My best advice here is, damage control, followed by a lot more negotiation. Get the site down. Try to talk him out of being half assed about his security. Don't just "swirl and blur" erase the heads completely, or crop the photos so they aren't visible at all. If he wants to be an ass, then see a lawyer, and have them inform your "master" that if photos of you are posted on the internet again, without your expressed, written permission, that they will take action on your behalf. (warning shots form legal firms are actually quite cheap) This will wake him up that he may be able to cane your butt, but you will be in a position to take his to the cleaners. Finally, be ready for things to get ugly. Let's all hope it doesn't get that far.... Frankly, if you guys can still talk to each other in a civil manner, you are probably more than halfway to working this out.

(in reply to kitttty)

Post #: 97

RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. - 10/27/2007 8:55:29 AM

Viridana

Posts: 754
Status: offline

*sigh*

After reading the OP's threads, I've come to the conclusion that I'd rather represent myself in court than ever having the OP as my lawyer in the future.

(in reply to kitttty)

Post #: 98

RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. - 10/27/2007 8:58:32 AM

winterlight

Posts: 1319
Joined: 2/18/2006
Status: offline

i agree wholeheartedly! I love him doesnt protect you...

(in reply to Viridana)

Post #: 99

RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. - 10/27/2007 9:01:35 AM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

tons of people have camera phones strike a pose vogue

(in reply to bipolarber)

Post #: 100

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