Being deceived ?

Being deceived ? (Full Version)

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slaveofKaos -> Being deceived ? (10/27/2007 3:23:26 AM)
I recently came arcoss someones profile that I know, however the name was different and there was no mention of this Dom's wife and the pictures of the two of them were not up. I asked him if they were still together and he told me they were, but that they each have their own profile and a couple profile, and that this was his. I thought no big deal people do that all the time, but I thought it was kinda weird that nowhere did he even mention he was in any kind of a relationship. I asked him why he didnt mention her at all and he basically said he gets more responces if he doesn't mention he is involved with someone else. My Master and my slave have both told me in the past that not giving all information that is known about something is called a "half lie" and that a "half lie" is still a lie, a deception. Granted someone considering him for a Master should ask a question like "are you involved with anyone one else in any kind of relationship?," but what got to me was that he made it clear to me that unless they specifically asked him a question like that, he would try to build a bond with the girl before telling her, probably in the hopes that she would just love him as a Master and not care about the fact that he didnt tell her in the beggining. This really got to me though I thought about those whose time would be wasted building a relationship with this person the whole time him coming off like he is a single Master looking for a slave. I mean the only people who wouldnt write him if he put that he's married are the one's that will turn him down as soon as they find out he is, and he will probably I would hope get turned down even by people who would have considered it for not saying something (basically lying) from the start. I don't understand why people can't just be honest and straight forward from the beggining it would save people a lot of time. I am curious as to if others on here have come across this, done it themselves, and or what people generally think about it.

Rushemery -> RE: Being deceived ? (10/27/2007 3:34:48 AM)
Honesty is the key

Level -> RE: Being deceived ? (10/27/2007 3:38:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slaveofKaos I don't understand why people can't just be honest and straight forward from the beggining it would save people a lot of time. I am curious as to if others on here have come across this, done it themselves, and or what people generally think about it. Because they're dishonest, or scared. I have not done, would not do it, and think it's shitty.

hisannabelle -> RE: Being deceived ? (10/27/2007 3:39:35 AM)
greetings slaveofkaos, i'm with you on this one. then again, i have a full disclosure policy when it comes to just about everything, and i am not shy about letting people know who i am. i don't have the energy to play a part to build a bond that might be broken when i decide to actually tell the whole truth about myself...and i'm too absentminded to keep it all straight anyway. best to just be up front about things :) respectfully, annabelle.

Wildnfreehrt2004 -> RE: Being deceived ? (10/27/2007 3:40:43 AM)
Seen it, experienced it, don't tolerate it. I'm looking for honesty, honor, integrity and respect - and if not found in the beginning when a relationship is supposed to be at its best, it probably won't be found farther into it, therefore, the only trust I have is that the deceptions will continue. Wildy

Rushemery -> RE: Being deceived ? (10/27/2007 3:45:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Wildnfreehrt2004 Seen it, experienced it, don't tolerate it. I'm looking for honesty, honor, integrity and respect - and if not found in the beginning when a relationship is supposed to be at its best, it probably won't be found farther into it, therefore, the only trust I have is that the deceptions will continue. well said Wildy

steviemichael -> RE: Being deceived ? (10/27/2007 4:36:20 AM)
on the foundation that you say he post in his profile i dont feel this person was trying to deceive or even trying to misrep himself. simply because a person does not put all the details does not mean a person is a lier or many other things exsample if i tell you that i am married but later in time you find out that i am married but gay does that make me a lier ? surely if anyone replys too his profile would know if the person is what you say since real truth is about first hand experience not on subjective hearsay .

eyesopened -> RE: Being deceived ? (10/27/2007 4:49:56 AM)
It's really simple. One used the correct bait for the type of fish they wish to catch. Crickets won't always work, leeches work great for most fresh-water fish but wouldn't get a nibble in surf fishing. Most submissives will bypass a Dominant who is already in a relationship so not mentioning it until they have her on the hook so to speak is one method of fishing. He may be able to convince her that being 3rd or 4th or whatever is good and who knows, she might agree. A lot of people rationalize themselves with excusing the lie of omission because in their way of thinking, lies consist of untrue words, not missing information. A lot of people feel that deception is active, not passive. i am the kind of person who disagrees with that but there are plenty of people who don't feel full disclosure is necessary in a profile. i suppose that i don't mention various little things about me in my profile would make me deceptive? Okay, being in a relationship is probably not a little thing and probably an important tidbit of information.

chellekitty -> RE: Being deceived ? (10/27/2007 5:10:59 AM)
i am shocked! not by him...thats so common to me, its like bananas on sale at the groccery store...i am shocked that you are really this bothered by his deception...the fact that if asked, he will tell you he has a wife is putting him ahead of so many men on the internet it's not even funny... i am learning to pick my battles...this one would not even register as battle worthy for me... take care chelle

missturbation -> RE: Being deceived ? (10/27/2007 5:20:08 AM)
In my opinion if you are part of a couple / dynamic you really should state it on your profile. Why hide it? Giving as full a picture as possible of yourself in your profile helps find people who may be compatible to you. As Chelle says i'm not shocked', nor am i but rather im not shocked that someone is doing this, it seems to be a trend here really. What is sad is that it has become such a trend that people just roll over and accept the dishonesty and think its no big thing to be deceitful.

chellekitty -> RE: Being deceived ? (10/27/2007 5:25:08 AM)
i don't accept dishonesty...i don't buy bananas just because they are on sale either...i just can't change every dishonest person on CM or on the internet...choosing my battles... it looks like the OP has talked to the person in question and he see's nothing wrong with what he is doing and she will be unlikely to change his mind....i have had intense discussions in the past with people who were outright cheating on their spouses....i did nothing to change their minds...choosing my battles...i can do nothing to change their minds....why waste my valuable time when it can be better spent doing other things?

slaveluci -> RE: Being deceived ? (10/27/2007 5:25:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slaveofKaos he basically said he gets more responces if he doesn't mention he is involved with someone else Hmmm, ya think?[image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m21.gif[/image]I think he may be onto something there that others haven't thought of - pretend you're single to draw 'em in[8\|]. It's been happening since the dawn of time and I see no signs of it stopping anytime soon. It's not your business so I'd just forget about it and focus on something I could change................luci

missturbation -> RE: Being deceived ? (10/27/2007 5:29:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chellekitty i don't accept dishonesty...i don't buy bananas just because they are on sale either...i just can't change every dishonest person on CM or on the internet...choosing my battles... it looks like the OP has talked to the person in question and he see's nothing wrong with what he is doing and she will be unlikely to change his mind....i have had intense discussions in the past with people who were outright cheating on their spouses....i did nothing to change their minds...choosing my battles...i can do nothing to change their minds....why waste my valuable time when it can be better spent doing other things? Easy tiger, that wasn't a dig at you.

kc692 -> RE: Being deceived ? (10/27/2007 5:31:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slaveofKaos I recently came arcoss someones profile that I know, however the name was different and there was no mention of this Dom's wife and the pictures of the two of them were not up. I asked him if they were still together and he told me they were, but that they each have their own profile and a couple profile, and that this was his. I thought no big deal people do that all the time, but I thought it was kinda weird that nowhere did he even mention he was in any kind of a relationship. I asked him why he didnt mention her at all and he basically said he gets more responces if he doesn't mention he is involved with someone else. My Master and my slave have both told me in the past that not giving all information that is known about something is called a "half lie" and that a "half lie" is still a lie, a deception. Granted someone considering him for a Master should ask a question like "are you involved with anyone one else in any kind of relationship?," but what got to me was that he made it clear to me that unless they specifically asked him a question like that, he would try to build a bond with the girl before telling her, probably in the hopes that she would just love him as a Master and not care about the fact that he didnt tell her in the beggining. This really got to me though I thought about those whose time would be wasted building a relationship with this person the whole time him coming off like he is a single Master looking for a slave. I mean the only people who wouldnt write him if he put that he's married are the one's that will turn him down as soon as they find out he is, and he will probably I would hope get turned down even by people who would have considered it for not saying something (basically lying) from the start. I don't understand why people can't just be honest and straight forward from the beggining it would save people a lot of time. I am curious as to if others on here have come across this, done it themselves, and or what people generally think about it. Kinda like where here you say you have both a slave and a Master, but on this profile, you say nothing about your slave, and on your OTHER PROFILE as a domme, you talk about your slave and not your Master?

privatelives -> RE: Being deceived ? (10/27/2007 5:32:06 AM)
i agree with you all, but at the end of the day there are probably hundreds of people on this site and others that have their reasons for not giving the whole picture of who they are. If a Dom/Domme asks then i believe in the truth, but there are always shades of grey surrounding what each persons perspective of 'honesty' may be. i reckon if it doesnt involve you personally then id try not to judge (no matter how strong you personal beliefs) & just let them get on with their life. this is just my 2 cents & we all know 2 cents aint worth much these days! Have a good day! sub red.

kc692 -> RE: Being deceived ? (10/27/2007 5:34:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: missturbation In my opinion if you are part of a couple / dynamic you really should state it on your profile. Why hide it? Giving as full a picture as possible of yourself in your profile helps find people who may be compatible to you. As Chelle says i'm not shocked', nor am i but rather im not shocked that someone is doing this, it seems to be a trend here really. What is sad is that it has become such a trend that people just roll over and accept the dishonesty and think its no big thing to be deceitful. And some that used to be deceitful now think its a big thing for the same of others......(not directed at you, of course.....).

chellekitty -> RE: Being deceived ? (10/27/2007 5:37:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: missturbation Easy tiger, that wasn't a dig at you. it was in reply to me and digging at motives of things i mentioned in my post...what else was i to gather from your post darling?

missturbation -> RE: Being deceived ? (10/27/2007 5:41:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kc692 quote: ORIGINAL: missturbation In my opinion if you are part of a couple / dynamic you really should state it on your profile. Why hide it? Giving as full a picture as possible of yourself in your profile helps find people who may be compatible to you. As Chelle says i'm not shocked', nor am i but rather im not shocked that someone is doing this, it seems to be a trend here really. What is sad is that it has become such a trend that people just roll over and accept the dishonesty and think its no big thing to be deceitful. And some that used to be deceitful now think its a big thing for the same of others......(not directed at you, of course.....). Yeah, and others who are honest pay the price, whilst those who are deceitful don't. It's a funny old world where you can't do right for doing wrong and those who think they know really don't know anything !! Oh and of course there are those who learn from mistakes too and actually practice what they have learnt. But anyway this is a thread about honesty and i'm shocked you would so blatantly lie in it [:D]

camille65 -> RE: Being deceived ? (10/27/2007 5:42:34 AM)
If you are seeking someone to join your life then yes I find it wrong and distasteful. At some point the truth will come out. If you are seeking friends only, then I don't think it is necessary to include your status of partner or non-partner. It just depends on what you are looking for. Personally setting a profile filled with lies would be too complicated, jeez I'd have to have crib notes all over the place to remind me what I'd said lol. Truth is so much easier in my mind. Does that make me simple minded? [sm=biggrin.gif] Oh, and I buy bananas when they are on sale..... yum banana smoothies!

kc692 -> RE: Being deceived ? (10/27/2007 5:49:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: missturbation quote: ORIGINAL: kc692 quote: ORIGINAL: missturbation In my opinion if you are part of a couple / dynamic you really should state it on your profile. Why hide it? Giving as full a picture as possible of yourself in your profile helps find people who may be compatible to you. As Chelle says i'm not shocked', nor am i but rather im not shocked that someone is doing this, it seems to be a trend here really. What is sad is that it has become such a trend that people just roll over and accept the dishonesty and think its no big thing to be deceitful. And some that used to be deceitful now think its a big thing for the same of others......(not directed at you, of course.....). Yeah, and others who are honest pay the price, whilst those who are deceitful don't. It's a funny old world where you can't do right for doing wrong and those who think they know really don't know anything !! Oh and of course there are those who learn from mistakes too and actually practice what they have learnt. But anyway this is a thread about honesty and i'm shocked you would so blatantly lie in it [:D] I, my dear, do not lie, moreover, I have never been caught in a blatant one like others....I said was not directed at you, amazing how you thought it was......wonder why.

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