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RE: Money in 24/7 or TPE - 10/28/2007 6:42:04 AM   
wisteriaV


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Master's name is on all my financial accounts and he accesses funds to pay bills and for other things like food, going out ect. He and I discuss how the monies are used from both my account and his, however since this is a 24/7 M/s relationship, his decisions are final and I abide by them.   We also have a fund set aside so when and if something happens to one  of us that the other person has a "nest egg" to move forward. We also have burial fund accounts so that issue is taken care of when the time comes. Since we dont have children we are a bit more relaxed because we dont have to plan for college educations sct... I do not get an allowance  because I do get my needs met, but I ask Master if I may get anything extra that I may want.

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RE: Money in 24/7 or TPE - 10/28/2007 9:42:52 AM   
SteelofUtah


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WillowMoon

Since no one, save for a few have actually answered your question I will try to help.

I like to control the money because at one point in my life I was Homeless and refuse to ever be again, In the beginning of andi and I's relationship she handed over the paycheck and I covered all the bills and for the first 6 months this worked well until I got a bank account and all the checks went into Direct Deposit.

Before there was the literal cashing of checks and then I would dole out an allowance and she would have to be responsible for those funds. Leter she got a Waitressing job and the paychecks went into the bank and the tips were hers and now we are both making good money and I had to give her a debit card.

andi is not a very financially responsible person so before she uses the card PERIOD she has to call me and ask. If it is an Emergency and the money will have to be spent regardless and she is unable to contact me then she just spends it and brings me the reciepts but Coffee, Lunches, Candy, Drinks and stuff like that are NEVER emergencies.

It was hard for me to give her a debit card and put her on the bank account but it was necessary for our household to be able to function, I have considered it the lesser of two evils.

I know there are people with diehard rules about how paychecks and money are delt with but I have found it odd how life trumps behaviours like that. It was no always possible to get cash out of the bank for andi's allowance so her having a card and calling to ask if she can get a Shake from Arby's gives me the ability to say Yes, but if you choose to get a shake it will be the only sweet you get to buy this pay period (She has a sweet tooth I am working on at the moment for dental reasons, Cavities are expensive even if you have insurance)

It is a matter of having to decide what is going to work best for the actual situations that you face, EvilGeoff (a Great Guy by the way) realizes his limitations when it comes to money so he has to do things differently that I. I realize my limitations of having a slave who has financial issues and treat her accordingly.

Sometime it has to stop being about control and start being about what is BEST for the household.

As Always

Steel

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RE: Money in 24/7 or TPE - 10/28/2007 10:30:42 AM   
rmanrr


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Greetings
"Sometime it has to stop being about control and start being about what is BEST for the household."

How very succintly said...and that applies to all things in the household as well in My opinion. When My woman moves here, we pretty much have to set up all things with regard to money, bills, etc etc etc. I do not have any issues regarding such, as she and I mesh so well everywhere else that in this respect it will just be another box to be checked off and done. yep yep.


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RE: Money in 24/7 or TPE - 10/28/2007 11:03:39 AM   
probablyknowme


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~FR~

Okay, but am I the only one who thinks that this problem/issue is not exclusively a D/s one? How many times has a nilla couple had to talk about, hash out, deal with who was going to be the one to take care of the finances?

kat

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RE: Money in 24/7 or TPE - 10/28/2007 11:10:41 AM   
CuriousLord


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What do you want to know that isn't given in the first response?

The Master sets it up.  That's the basic, general principle.  From there, it just gets more case-specific.  Some M/s relationships, the Master directs his slave on how to spend the money.  In others, the money all flows to the Master's acounts directly, where he spends it.  The Master sees the bills paid- whether it's done by hand, through a hired agent, or taken care of by the slave.  The Master makes all the decisions on finicial matters, though, in many cases, a slave with considerable finicial knowledge may be consulted for her input on things.  ("considerable" means relative to the Master's knowledge.  If they both hardly know enough to get by, then hers is considerable compared to his, so they are likely to work together to get it done.)

Sometimes, one partner works.  Could be the Master or slave.  Sometimes, both do.  I guess there are probably cases in which neither do.

It's hard to guess exactly what you want to know beyond this.  Seems pretty obvious, to be honest.

Bottom line is that it's all the Master's decision and responsibility.  If the Master choses to have the slave take care of a portion, or all, of it.. that's his option.  (Although, having a "Master" giving the decision making over to the slave would seem to suggest more of a D/s relationship.)

PS-  Excuse the numerous typo's.  I've been doing Chem and Phys so much this weekend that the letters on this page look like one massive, horrible Physics equation that's being invaded by chemical compounds.

PPS-  Grammar and parts of speach, too.

< Message edited by CuriousLord -- 10/28/2007 11:18:53 AM >

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RE: Money in 24/7 or TPE - 10/28/2007 11:12:44 AM   
onmykneesb4Him


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Sir works away from home and i work out of our home. All the money goes into our joint checking and savings accounts, except for what goes into His 401K.

i am the one who pays the bills with that money, just because it's not His strongest area, so He's delegated that responsibility to me. Honestly, if i had a choice, i would rather He took care of the bills.

i do not spend any money whatsoever on anything without clearing it with Him first. Often it's just as simple as saying "we need groceries, i plan on spending about $100", and He says fine. Sometimes He wants an explanation- for things that are not necessities.

(in reply to probablyknowme)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Money in 24/7 or TPE - 10/28/2007 11:13:36 AM   
xoxi


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I'm really bad with money.  My Man has a savings account with like, actual money in it.  I have...um...lots of cute accessories?  I even told him that if he wants food instead of a shoe collection he should handle the finances.

However that's not because he is the Master but rather because he is the one who is good at that type of thing.  If I were good with money and he had an electronics collection that was worth a BMW I would assume it would be in both of our best interests to have me make a budget and him nominally approve it.  However I do agree that it's up to the Master/Mistress, and that while I could recommend that, I wouldn't demand it.

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RE: Money in 24/7 or TPE - 10/28/2007 11:18:13 AM   
susie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord

What do you want to know that isn't given in the first response?

The Master sets it up.  That's the basic, general principle.  From there, it just gets more case-specific.  Some M/s relationships, the Master directs his slave on how to spend the money.  In others, the money all flows to the Master's acounts directly, where he spends it.  The Master sees the bills paid- whether it's done by hand, through a hired agent, or taken care of by the slave.  The Master makes all the decisions on finicial matters, though, in many cases, a slave with considerable finicial knowledge may be consulted for her input on things.  ("considerable" means relative to the Master's knowledge.  If they both hardly know enough to get by, then hers is considerable compared to his, so they are likely to work together to get it done.)

Sometimes, one partner works.  Could be the Master or slave.  Sometimes, both do.  I guess there are probably cases in which neither do.

It's hard to guess exactly what you want to know beyond this.  Seems pretty obvious, to be honest.

Bottom line is that it's all the Master's decision and responsibility.  If the Master choses to have the slave take care of a portion, or all, of it.. that's his option.  (Although, having a "Master" giving the decision making over to the slave would seem to suggest more of a D/s relationship.)


I think you are completly wrong with that last statement. I am in a M/s relationship but I take care of the finances, including deciding what is best for managing the finance for his business. It does not make it any less of a M/s relationship because he has given me that task. It does not make him any less a Master to have recognised that as I am a Finance Director in my work life, I am the best person to manage the finances for us. Giving me the task of managing our finances is no different to giving me any other task to complete, shopping and providing his food for instance.

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RE: Money in 24/7 or TPE - 10/28/2007 11:19:55 AM   
CuriousLord


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Do you make the final decisions on how his money will be spent?

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RE: Money in 24/7 or TPE - 10/28/2007 11:38:37 AM   
susie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord

Do you make the final decisions on how his money will be spent?


I manage all the finances for us, both at home and for his business because that is what he has decided he wants. Just as he has decided that I shop and cook for us. He does not tell me what to buy or what to cook as he has made the decision that it is my job to manage that. I wash and iron and look after the house. He does not decide day to day what my tasks should be so long as I complete it.

Why would it make him any less a Master for deciding to hand over those processes to me.

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RE: Money in 24/7 or TPE - 10/28/2007 11:54:04 AM   
CuriousLord


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I suppose, to me, being a Master basically means controlling the situation, which means making the decisions, right?  Still, making the decision to let someone else make a decision.. that's what a slave does, isn't it?  The initial decision to let somone else make the rest is called "consent".

To some degree or another, you're right.. if it's any different from, say, a slave deciding what's for dinner.  If the Master says, "I want [something]" for dinner, then makes it.. that's his decision.  If he says, "Make me dinner", but doesn't leave the slave any kind of dinner to make.. then she decides what he eats, doesn't she?

Which, I don't think there's anything wrong with that sort of thing.. and I'm not going to judge your case, because, well, I just don't like judging people very much.  Concepts and ideas, though.. those are different to me, and I think the idea of a situation like the one I described above, where the "Master" agrees to submit to the decisions of the slave, is.. well, that just isn't what I think of as "M/s".  The larger those decisions are (such as if the couple will buy a new house being decided by the slave compared to if they'll have ham or turkey that night), the more it strikes me as deviating from M/s.

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RE: Money in 24/7 or TPE - 10/28/2007 12:06:08 PM   
susie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord

I suppose, to me, being a Master basically means controlling the situation, which means making the decisions, right?  Still, making the decision to let someone else make a decision.. that's what a slave does, isn't it?  The initial decision to let somone else make the rest is called "consent".

To some degree or another, you're right.. if it's any different from, say, a slave deciding what's for dinner.  If the Master says, "I want [something]" for dinner, then makes it.. that's his decision.  If he says, "Make me dinner", but doesn't leave the slave any kind of dinner to make.. then she decides what he eats, doesn't she?

Which, I don't think there's anything wrong with that sort of thing.. and I'm not going to judge your case, because, well, I just don't like judging people very much.  Concepts and ideas, though.. those are different to me, and I think the idea of a situation like the one I described above, where the "Master" agrees to submit to the decisions of the slave, is.. well, that just isn't what I think of as "M/s".  The larger those decisions are (such as if the couple will buy a new house being decided by the slave compared to if they'll have ham or turkey that night), the more it strikes me as deviating from M/s.


I cannot imagine a decision such as, shall we buy a new house, ever being decided by just one person in a relationship, whether they are slave or Master. If you think things like that happen they I guess you have never been in that position. In our case it would be a joint decision as it was when we bought this house. I viewed 50 or so houses and short listed those that I thought were suitable. He viewed those on the short list and we decided which one would suit us best. As for the finances, yes that was left to me because as a Finance Director it makes sense for me to do that.

If I was an interior designer, would you think it unmasterly for him to give me the responsibilty for decorating the house? If I were a trained mechanic would you think  it unmasterly for him to give me responsibilty for servicing our cars?

At the end of the day, He has made the decision on how much responsibility he has handed over and he can change that decision any time he likes.

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RE: Money in 24/7 or TPE - 10/28/2007 12:09:18 PM   
RosesHaveThorns


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A master is because he has the power, not that he uses it. Does it not speak better for him to be secure in his position that he can delegate responsbility, knowing that his slave will do her utmost to please him and keep him happy?

Or that he goes power-crazy and demands that she buys THIS brand of cleaner, not THAT one!

There is after all, a difference in having the power and needlessly using it to the detriment of the relationship.

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RE: Money in 24/7 or TPE - 10/28/2007 12:14:46 PM   
Phoenixandnika


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We sat down as a couple and made a realistic budge. We both contribute to a checking account, from there I am expected to deligate the funds as we agreed. If changes are made to our budget he lets me know and I adjust how I deligate the money as required. I will admit though it isn't always easy to stick to a budget but we both try. ~laughs~
 
In the end it is what handled how he wants it handled and what works best for our household to make sure us and our UMs are taken care of.
 
 
 
Blessed Be,
Nika

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RE: Money in 24/7 or TPE - 10/28/2007 12:25:37 PM   
MasterDaveM


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From: Tampa
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I also tend to take the "accountant" role in my history of M/s relationships. this can be one of the most difficult parts of the lifestyle. it is easy for a sub/slave to submit sexually and make dinner... to give up her finances is a little harder. its always been an issue in my relationships in the lifestyle... but not one i will bend on. sexuall submission alone does not make a "slave"... its one of the reasons that finding a stable sub/slave can be tougher than finding a stable dominant

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RE: Money in 24/7 or TPE - 10/28/2007 12:46:58 PM   
CuriousLord


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quote:

ORIGINAL: susie

I cannot imagine a decision such as, shall we buy a new house, ever being decided by just one person in a relationship, whether they are slave or Master. If you think things like that happen they I guess you have never been in that position. In our case it would be a joint decision as it was when we bought this house. I viewed 50 or so houses and short listed those that I thought were suitable. He viewed those on the short list and we decided which one would suit us best. As for the finances, yes that was left to me because as a Finance Director it makes sense for me to do that.

If I was an interior designer, would you think it unmasterly for him to give me the responsibilty for decorating the house? If I were a trained mechanic would you think  it unmasterly for him to give me responsibilty for servicing our cars?

At the end of the day, He has made the decision on how much responsibility he has handed over and he can change that decision any time he likes.


You keep assuming that I've never been in postions, because, if I had, I would agree with you.  Right?

Rather, it's my position that in the "ideal" M/s relationship, the Master makes the decides what the slave will do.  If he decides that she is to make decisions, then he's providing consent to her decision; consent to another's decisions is control, correct?

My point simply is that, the more a "Master" consents to be controlled by the decisions of his slave, the more it deviates from what I see as the M/s dynamic.

I'm trying to avoid commenting on your situation.  I do not know it nor would I care to pass judgement on it if I did.  However it works for you is fine.  These are just my ideas about M/s.

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RE: Money in 24/7 or TPE - 10/28/2007 12:50:20 PM   
susie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord

quote:

ORIGINAL: susie

I cannot imagine a decision such as, shall we buy a new house, ever being decided by just one person in a relationship, whether they are slave or Master. If you think things like that happen they I guess you have never been in that position. In our case it would be a joint decision as it was when we bought this house. I viewed 50 or so houses and short listed those that I thought were suitable. He viewed those on the short list and we decided which one would suit us best. As for the finances, yes that was left to me because as a Finance Director it makes sense for me to do that.

If I was an interior designer, would you think it unmasterly for him to give me the responsibilty for decorating the house? If I were a trained mechanic would you think  it unmasterly for him to give me responsibilty for servicing our cars?

At the end of the day, He has made the decision on how much responsibility he has handed over and he can change that decision any time he likes.


You keep assuming that I've never been in postions, because, if I had, I would agree with you.  Right?

Rather, it's my position that in the "ideal" M/s relationship, the Master makes the decides what the slave will do.  If he decides that she is to make decisions, then he's providing consent to her decision; consent to another's decisions is control, correct?

My point simply is that, the more a "Master" consents to be controlled by the decisions of his slave, the more it deviates from what I see as the M/s dynamic.

I'm trying to avoid commenting on your situation.  I do not know it nor would I care to pass judgement on it if I did.  However it works for you is fine.  These are just my ideas about M/s.


You mean Ideal for you in the bolded statement above, not ideal for everyone.

So in your idea of a M/s dynamic are you going to make every decision about every single situation?

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RE: Money in 24/7 or TPE - 10/28/2007 12:55:27 PM   
slaveluci


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From: Little Rock, AR
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord
the more a "Master" consents to be controlled by the decisions of his slave, the more it deviates from what I see as the M/s dynamic

Just wanted to add a thought here..........a "master" doesn't have to "be controlled by the decisions of his slave."  I know mine sure isn't.  As Susie pointed out about looking at all the houses and narrowing them down to a shortlist, a master can very much benefit from such decisions his slave has made.  He is in control of deciding how much decision-making power she has.  She uses her good decision-making skills for his benefit by doing alot of legwork that he chooses not to do.  Then, when the final decision needs to be made, he comes in and has final say and decision-making power.  That's how it works for Master and I. 

Sure, He could insist on never letting me make a decision and He could spend all His time making all of them.  That wasn't what He sought in having a slave.  He wants someone with a brain whom He can trust to use it.  He tells me what decisions I am responsible for and expects me to make good ones.  I do and that, thereby, saves Him alot of time doing things.  It doesn't make Him one iota less "masterly" to have a smart, decision-making slave because I still operate well within the parameters He Himself has established.  Just a different perspective...............luci

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RE: Money in 24/7 or TPE - 10/28/2007 1:00:11 PM   
RosesHaveThorns


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenixandnika

We sat down as a couple and made a realistic budge. We both contribute to a checking account, from there I am expected to deligate the funds as we agreed. If changes are made to our budget he lets me know and I adjust how I deligate the money as required. I will admit though it isn't always easy to stick to a budget but we both try. ~laughs~
 
In the end it is what handled how he wants it handled and what works best for our household to make sure us and our UMs are taken care of.
 
 
 
Blessed Be,
Nika


I refer back to this decision. Here, we have a confident master who orders his slave to do the budget. But he is also not afraid to change things as suits him, his slave, and his family. She may balance the checkbook, but only with permission from him and with him overseeing the work she has done.

(in reply to Phoenixandnika)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Money in 24/7 or TPE - 10/28/2007 1:05:23 PM   
slaveluci


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Master and I both have full-time, decent-paying jobs.  We have several joint saving and checking accounts set up for various purposes.  His paychecks go into one of them and mine into another of them.  Technically, we both have access to all accounts.  However, I have checks and a debit card for only one of them and I must account for what I use out of it.  I buy groceries, household supplies, gas, etc. and bring Him all the receipts.

At one point when I first began working, we were both excited about the idea of Him providing me with a weekly allowance.  This didn't work out so well because I wouldn't spend it on things for myself but rather it ended up being spent on groceries and other household needs.  That wasn't the point of it.  Then, I intended to save it up so we would have a financial "cushion" in case of emergency.  Basically, the concept just didn't work so He stopped it and now all the money goes into the account and He allows me use of the debit card to purchase whatever we need by way of groceries, gas, etc. with it.  Anytime I desire to buy anything out of the ordinary (music, a pair of shoes, etc.), I will ask His permission before doing so.  Sometimes He agrees, sometimes not so He ultimately has sole control of the finances.

As far as bill-paying, I keep bills organized and do all the legwork.  He ultimately pays them either online or via check and maintains the check register so we know what the correct balance(s) are.  Oftentimes, He'll hand me a $20 or something for "walking around money" and I always take pride in being careful and thrifty with it.  One of my life-long bad habits has been impulse spending (not major amounts, just small ones) and that's how money has always trickled away from me.  I love handing each paycheck over to Him so that He prevents that from happening.  Our system works well for us................luci 

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(in reply to Willowmoon)
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