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any such thing as a kind dom? - 8/2/2005 5:27:29 PM

DiabloLuna

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Do subs/slaves really respect a Dom who is kind and loving or do they see this as a sign of weakness?

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RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 8/2/2005 5:34:45 PM

EmeraldSlave2

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Yes.

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RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 8/2/2005 5:54:18 PM

comesoncommand

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A Dominant can be kind and still be Dominant...but when they cater and pamper a slave, i might argue the slave could be topping from below.

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RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 8/2/2005 6:22:04 PM

stormsfate

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I don't see kindness and/or loving as a weakness in the least. However, if they cannot control their submissive/slave or if they allow their submissive/slave to use that kindness and/or loving to manipulate, THAT I would view as weakness.

best regards,
fate

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RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 8/2/2005 6:35:21 PM

siamsa24

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quote:

i might argue the slave could be topping from below.

Which can also work......

But to answer the original question, yes.

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RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 8/2/2005 6:50:53 PM

Sir4now

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Yes How could a Sub/Slave not respect a Dom that it Kind and Loving.
Just remember it is not kind or loving to let her get away with things.
It is not kind or loving to not give her rules to live by.
It is not kind or loving to not be Consistent in what you expect of them.

Know that when you punish a submissive it is because you do love them and it is what is best for them.

Know that a sub/slave has a deep need to please so when you give them that task to do you are being kind. For it is in doing the task they are pleasing there Dom/Master.

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RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 8/2/2005 6:52:44 PM

perfection20005

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Yes, I think we can and do love Doms who are kind. Its not a sign of weakness.

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RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 8/2/2005 7:05:49 PM

Sabella

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To ME a Dom that is incapable of showing kindness or lovingness is masking his own serious flaws. Would it signify they can't love someone else because they don't love themselves? And how can you be incapable of showing love if you did feel it? That would bother me greatly.

Who truely seeks out an abusive relationship? for what purpose?

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RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 8/2/2005 7:36:14 PM

EmeraldSlave2

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Well not showing kindness and not showing love are two VERY different things. Someone who doesn't love their slave is hardly abusive. Not showing kindness isn't abusive either, though it would be odd if a person went out of their way to never show any kindness.

(in reply to Sabella)

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RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 8/2/2005 10:08:44 PM

BalletBob

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I don't think a Mistress or Master is weak because they are kind. It just shows they have compassion for their Slave/Sub, and can be real mean when they have to. Just fo something against MADAM's wished, and I would see how mean she can be, even though she was kind every other time.

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RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 8/2/2005 11:36:21 PM

mossy

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quote:

DiabloLuna: Do subs/slaves really respect a Dom who is kind and loving or do they see this as a sign of weakness?

DiabloLuna--i am taking Your question very literally just as i believe You mean it! Can a Dominant be kind and loving and still have the respect of His sub/slave???

Absolutely Yes!!! i believe a healthy sub/slave will certainly Respect a Kind and Loving Dominant and be very Proud to Serve Him!!! More so then a cruel, rude "dom" that is feared, instead of respected. i believe that many will misinterrpet this question to mean kind and ineffectual. This is not what You said. You said Kind and Loving. Not a Dominant who is going to allow the slave/sub to get away with everything her heart desires!!!!
Why do so many, equate kind with pushover??? It is thinking like this that keep abusers active and makes new ones!!! "Sure cruel is better,,,yes kind is bad." Then Dominants think in order to be "proper" Doms they need to be cruel and cold!!! Please someone help me out here.

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RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 8/3/2005 5:12:57 AM

EmeraldSlave2

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mossy
Why do so many, equate kind with pushover???

Because most "subs" will do anything they can to prove a dom isn't really a dom, including topping from the bottom, manipulating the situation to their desires and basically being in control at all times while claiming they want to release their own authority.

What's most amusing is when they do it under the guise of "testing boundaries" as a way to be forgiven for it.

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RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 8/3/2005 5:22:43 AM

nella

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A Dom that is kind and compassionate can definitly have respect. Peronaly i think i could never have a relationship whit somone that was not kind. But kind do not mean he will tolerate braking the rules. A kind Dom can be just as strict as an cold one, he is just more rewarding to serve.

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RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 8/3/2005 5:59:54 AM

mossy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mossy
Why do so many, equate kind with pushover???

quote:

Emerald: Because most "subs" will do anything they can to prove a dom isn't really a dom, including topping from the bottom, manipulating the situation to their desires and basically being in control at all times while claiming they want to release their own authority.
What's most amusing is when they do it under the guise of "testing boundaries" as a way to be forgiven for it.

Reading the above^^^^i tried and tried to understand!!! Being a slave/sub myself???
i read and re-read these words. Not only do i wonder who these "most subs" are but i wonder if they are really submissive? Or playing submissive? Or just what is called sams or brats? Never in my life in D/s have i heard of such behavior, disrespectful, childish, manipulitive, controlling? Supposedly coming from "most subs" ???? Hopefully they are quarantined off on an island somewhere away from Good Dominants!!! Geez what an awful fate for a poor Dom. Disgraceful,,,,and this is what You Good "Kind" Dominants will get,,,,But if You are cold and cruel, Your subs will behave. Take that You mostly subs!
No kind Dominant better get in my way ever again....i may just have to worship the ground He walks on. Because i already know my place, and it is a very happy place, that i happen to enjoy.

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RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 8/3/2005 6:11:45 AM

darkinshadows

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Yes. However I also respect a dominant who may come across as cruel and unkind.

It isn't what they do or are. It is the person as a whole.

Peace and Love

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RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 8/3/2005 6:52:20 AM

EmeraldSlave2

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mossy
Never in my life in D/s have i heard of such behavior, disrespectful, childish, manipulitive, controlling? Supposedly coming from "most subs" ????

I'm surprised you haven't heard of this happening.

quote:

Hopefully they are quarantined off on an island somewhere away from Good Dominants!!!

Well if they are good dominants then they would know how to deal with such behavior.

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RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 8/3/2005 7:37:43 AM

tinkJH

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quote:

ORIGINAL: comesoncommand

A Dominant can be kind and still be Dominant...but when they cater and pamper a slave, i might argue the slave could be topping from below.

I agree, and disagree. I agree a Dom can be kind and caring without being weak. However. I don't think a Master papering his slave is being "topped from the bottom". If a master chooses to be kind.. its not a weakness, yet - if he chooses to pamper his slave.. suddenly he is allowing her to top from the bottom?

If I earn it, Master "pampers" me about once a week. Every friday, IF I earn it. He will draw me a bath - bathr me, let me relax and listen to the music I like. Then when he feels I have been there long enough he will take me out, pat me dry and rub me down with lotion and give me a massage. There are other times when he will instead take me out for a quiet night, let me pick a movie to watch... It just depends, as He allows it, he picks what and how..

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RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 8/3/2005 8:17:50 AM

plantlady64

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Hello There,
I respect Doms who show a loving but stern Master way more than one who's just there to be self absorbed. I think BDSM play is a loving expression of joyous pleasure and pain between people who participate in it. To me the act of affections goes hand in hand with loving expressions of yourselves. I don't think you need to be in love with someone to express yourself lovingly towards someone. But lovingly sharing these sensations to me is far more appealing than an insensative encounter would be.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

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RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 8/3/2005 8:18:55 AM

pinkpleasures

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kindness to me is a sign of strength. A person is in a position to choose to be cruel; to do nothing; or to be kind; and they choose to be kind. i value this quality highly; not because i want/need kindness directed at me...which of course i do...but because a Man who is kind of heart is a pleasure to live with in the world..He makes me so proud..and i am belitted by a cruel man.

pinkpleasures

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RE: any such thing as a kind dom? - 8/3/2005 9:13:29 AM

mossy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mossy
Never in my life in D/s have i heard of such behavior, disrespectful, childish, manipulitive, controlling? Supposedly coming from "most subs" ????
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

quote:

Emerald; I'm surprised you haven't heard of this happening.

quote:~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Not as i say from most subs...and certainly not all these behaviors at once from one person.....as i say later, i have heard of it before.

quote:

mossy: Hopefully they are quarantined off on an island somewhere away from Good Dominants!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

quote:

Emerald: Well if they are good dominants then they would know how to deal with such behavior.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yes and they do know how to deal with such behavior....i am protective by nature....and since mistreatment goes both ways, i suppose that was my protective nature speaking... without realizing it.