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What's the point of a profile....? - 10/30/2007 10:58:12 AM

pgashlie

Posts: 29
Joined: 11/5/2005
Status: offline

I tend to take the view that a profile is supposed to tell people about you, a kind of resume, so they can decide, quickly, if you're of interest.

So, I get this message from a guy who "wants to know me" (in the Biblical sense, probably).... I read his profile, it says he's looking for a slave, who "must enjoy suffering..." , mentions "torture", and on...
My profile describes me as "sub, not slave" and specifically says I'm not inot pain. So, I send him a nice no-thank you, explainig why... and he gets all pissy, even adding a note to his journal about "Gee, how come people take the profiles so literally?"

I'm afraid I interpret that as, "Oh, I didn't mean that really, it was a lie... what would you like me to say instead? "

Anyone else have thoughts on the subject?

Post #: 1

RE: What's the point of a profile....? - 10/30/2007 11:00:57 AM

RRafe

Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline

A profile only gives the gist of a person. I take them literally, the vast majority hold no interest for me as matches. I guess the fellow was one of those "I can mold you" sorts.

Some women you can-others you can't.

< Message edited by RRafe -- 10/30/2007 11:01:27 AM >

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(in reply to pgashlie)

Post #: 2

RE: What's the point of a profile....? - 10/30/2007 11:02:32 AM

SmokingGun82

Posts: 575
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline

You were the victim of a mass mailing. Who knows how many people got the exact same message.

The short version is, some people will send messages to every female profile they see without reading them. Some will send one to every male profile they see without reading them. It's the price of doing business on the internet- it's annoying, but it's not worth getting in a huff about.

_____________________________

It frightens me, the awful truth of how sweet life can be.
- Bob Dylan

Proper capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my Uncle Jack off a horse" and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse."

(in reply to pgashlie)

Post #: 3

RE: What's the point of a profile....? - 10/30/2007 11:08:07 AM

slaverosebeauty

Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline

Sounds like 'trollmail' to me, I get those on occassion.

Some people are actually on here to look for someone for a ltr, others are just here to waste time. Finding legit profiles and people is difficult, but it IS possible.

Just delete trollmail and don't respond. People who send form-emails are not worth the effort to respond too; its insulting to receive a mass email when it takes a few moments to actually compose a semi-intelligent personal email. SOme peopel are just way to lazy.

_____________________________

http://slaverosebeauty.livejournal.com/

"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

(in reply to SmokingGun82)

Post #: 4

RE: What's the point of a profile....? - 10/30/2007 11:08:18 AM

GhitaAmati

Posts: 3263
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline

I got a message yesterday from some Dom type asking me to move to Ireland and serve him.....

I wrote him back rather politely mentioning that he must not have read my profile to notice that I am happiliy married in Florida with no desire to serve anyone else nor relocate to anywhere for someone, and besides, Im scottish.....

_____________________________

I said I was a submissive, I never said I was a GOOD submissive.

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
~Woody Allen

(in reply to SmokingGun82)

Post #: 5

RE: What's the point of a profile....? - 10/30/2007 11:09:08 AM

DarkDaddyZ

Posts: 805
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline

Some resumes get passed over...a profile can be a mini personal resume to me. Don't even let him get to you.

_____________________________

"Flirting is part of the job description." DJ Jesus (Lucy Daughter Of The Devil)

Vanilla Official Music Page http://www.myspace.com/djzulu

(in reply to slaverosebeauty)

Post #: 6

RE: What's the point of a profile....? - 10/30/2007 11:16:54 AM

pgashlie

Posts: 29
Joined: 11/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

You were the victim of a mass mailing. Who knows how many people got the exact same message.

With respect, no, I did engage in a brief conversation with him, during which he gave me the "Oh, well, I didn't mean that" routine :-)

(in reply to SmokingGun82)

Post #: 7

RE: What's the point of a profile....? - 10/30/2007 11:23:47 AM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SmokingGun82

You were the victim of a mass mailing. Who knows how many people got the exact same message.

The short version is, some people will send messages to every female profile they see without reading them. Some will send one to every male profile they see without reading them. It's the price of doing business on the internet- it's annoying, but it's not worth getting in a huff about.

I agree with this. Everyone has different personalities and how they go about doing things. Despite a pretty much consistent comments from most people what they prefer to read in a profile which is pretty much what the OP describes there are still going to be many people who for whatever reason choose to do things differently.

In terms if this guy was being too casual, just trying to amuse or is a total loser who knows except for his profile obviously is not one which is going to attract a sincere person from the other side.

The fact is mass mailing is common. There are people ranging from total losers to the very sincere that will write or entertain anyone who might show an interest. Regardless of role or gender there are people out there either caught up in lifestyle frenzy, cyber fantasy or sheer loneliness that will look for anyone to be with and not the right one. It is unfortunate but many have not thought things through or think they can bend their needs and desires into what anyone who they can land wants.

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to SmokingGun82)

Post #: 8

RE: What's the point of a profile....? - 10/30/2007 11:25:11 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Ive gotten messages from sub males who want to serve and want to know what they have to do to get my attention. First thing I say is practice reading and check the profile.

I do take my profile lierally, thats why i took the time to write it after all.
And I take emails literally too, but I notice tat when someone doesnt get the response they want they often backpedal to the "oh thats not what I meant, it came out bad" or something similiar.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to pgashlie)

Post #: 9

RE: What's the point of a profile....? - 10/30/2007 11:29:55 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

A profile is a mini introduction ment to generate interest in you. Some people try to read to much into them. If your interested just drop a simple note to say hello and go from there. Nothing ventured. Nothing gained.

(in reply to toservez)

Post #: 10

RE: What's the point of a profile....? - 10/30/2007 11:32:48 AM

greyarcher315

Posts: 99
Joined: 12/7/2006
Status: offline

i see a profile as a way of finding out what a person is looking for. We are all different, and look for different things, so i don't want to waste someones time if they have no interest in me, or what i am looking for.
Also, i have found that the search function here on CM is not always accurate, so i check to verify as well. No sense writing to a Domme who is only looking for females.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 11

RE: What's the point of a profile....? - 10/30/2007 11:36:16 AM

SmokingGun82

Posts: 575
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline

Unless you talked to him before he emailed you, it doesn't rule it out. Sending out mass emails doesn't mean that he isn't a real person- just that he's got a special relationship with Ctrl V

:)

_____________________________

It frightens me, the awful truth of how sweet life can be.
- Bob Dylan

Proper capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my Uncle Jack off a horse" and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse."

(in reply to pgashlie)

Post #: 12

RE: What's the point of a profile....? - 10/30/2007 11:47:27 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

use to get mail from "widower doms" who wanted a "God-fearing woman to marry and care for their sons" from weird places like New York, Texas or Alabama, Alabama (actual city, state listed on their profiles) ...now i get horny troll "dommes" who think i enjoy being bi.

< Message edited by sambamanslilgirl -- 10/30/2007 11:48:17 AM >

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to pgashlie)

Post #: 13

RE: What's the point of a profile....? - 10/30/2007 11:48:07 AM

meticulousgirl

Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline

some people are just desperate, some might not be desperate but they will tell you anything to get in your pants.....men suck (sometimes)

~meticulous~

(in reply to SmokingGun82)

Post #: 14

RE: What's the point of a profile....? - 10/30/2007 11:49:05 AM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline

This community is full of a wide variety of people from just about every area of society and BDSM covers a very wide range of rituals and behaviours based on human interaction on an interpersonal and social, community level. Quite simply, anything goes.

The problem however is the Internet, this has changed how people interact with each other. The Internet is a very powerful tool of communication and resource information which has touched everyone's lives and has made life so much easier and simpler. I'm a TS female, and you cannot put a value on just how much the Internet for me has made my life much easier, simpler, and so much better.

But the Internet has a downside, it can very easily mislead you, deceive you, and create so many problems. It's changed the way people interact with each other, and I guess in many ways this has led to a new wave of social prejudice among the various minority groups in society.

Most people come into this website with the same mindset as they have when they walk into a supermarket or when they log onto e-Bay. They have needs, they have desires, and they're looking for someone who can fulfil those needs and desires. This also accounts for most people who have profiles on Collarme, it's all about THEIR needs and desires and who they are seeking to fulfil those desires. Only nobody is interested in getting to know anyone, in giving someone trust, a chance, like in the older pre-Internet days and developing a relationship properly.

Just like in the supermarket or on e-Bay they're looking for people who match their criteria, as are many of the people who have profiles. This is why everyone now needs an 'image', why everyone needs to be photoimage perfect and have the right stuff written in their profile, and what happens is you get a sort of a 'trade' situation, where people are setting up a trade of each other's needs, an exchange, and this to them is a relationship. Much of this is based on fantasy and illusion. This is why you get a lot of Master-slave or Mistress-slave couples who claim to be 24/7 M/s but really in reality they're just like any other couple and the M/s element happens at best at weekends or twice a month when they go off to a fetish club or event.

But hey, if that makes them happy, then so what? Whose business is it anyway for anyone to make a judgment about how someone chooses to live their life or conduct their relationships?

But this probably explains why there appears to be sixty or seventy different versions of the English language, and none of them appear to be compatible with each other.

I have a new profile, it's been up only a few weeks, it's already gone through several drafts, it's taken about 10 days of deep thinking, consideration, and also great consideration taken after initial correspondence with others and the advice of people in my life (yes, I am lifestyle which means my family, friends and everyone in my life know the complete me) I've modified and changed it.

But I'm still receiving messages from people in response to my profile, only there's no logical connection between what they're writing and what is written in my profile. It's like they've written a reply to a completely different profile but sent it to me. And then when you point this out to them they get all upset and nasty and start calling you a fake and a player. Oh okay. Whatever.

Then you get the people who have read your profile, you can see it, but they've completely misunderstood it, or twisted round your words to come up with a different interpretation which suits them. This is the time I genuinely wish I was fluent in Hungarian, because I feel like replying back to them in a language they can't twist round.

Then there are the wonderful people, and I mean these people are truly wonderful people, they make Collarme such a wonderful place to be, and it's quite a few male Doms, a considerable number of Dommes, and I guess submissives, and they make it worthwhile, because not only does their profile match the reality of who they really are, but they interpret your profile quite literally and they send you an appropriate message. And I guess if you go through all the threads of all the fora here and check the profiles of the posters you will probably quickly discover that there's an awful lot of these people around. This is my theory, my assumption, but I've yet to see any evidence against this.

But to others sadly this appears to be rocket science - write an honest profile, look for an honest profile, write an honest reply, be yourself who you really are, let the other person be the same, get to know them, and develop a relationship. This is the only way you get anywhere in this community. But still many people struggle with this very simple concept. I guess this is what makes it so interesting here.

These are just my thoughts.

(in reply to pgashlie)

Post #: 15

RE: What's the point of a profile....? - 10/30/2007 12:07:20 PM

slavegirljoy

Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline

General Reply:

Gettin this sort of email isn't unique to CM. i get messages sent to my Yahoo profile with invitations to do all sorts of things, especially from men who are turned-on by amputees and, they want things far more extreme from me than anything any sadist has ever wanted. And, with most of them, i have to ignore them because if i write back with a "no thank you", "leave me alone" or, anything else, they just continue to write back. i still get stuff from men who i told to leave me alone over 3 years ago. Acrotomophile is the technical term for what is commonly called a "devotee" and they are very persistant. Many of these devotees, who have written to me, seem to come from Germany and the UK, for some reason but, there have also been plenty from the USA, also. They are real men and some are real scary, too. They look for what turns them on and they write, hoping to, at least, get an explicit conversation going and some pictures, even if there is never any actual meeting expected.

Like was already pointed out, getting all sorts of emails from all sorts of people is part of the price of having a profile anywhere on the Internet. Ignore & block works pretty well, although some do just create new profiles and write to me again under a new name.

Actually, the people who write to me on CM have, for the most part, been very nice. i guess i'm lucky, in that regard.

slave joy
Owned property of Master David

(in reply to SmokingGun82)

Post #: 16

RE: What's the point of a profile....? - 10/30/2007 12:14:08 PM

Phin

Posts: 1802
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline

to me the point of a profile is to say what you are looking for, and so that you can weed out the illiterate idiots that, as SmokingGun said, have a special relationship with ctrl+V

Dont get discuraged by the idiot, delete, block if you feel it is nessacary, and move on.

_____________________________

"Isn't wonderful when our bruises show what we hide in the back of our heads?"Fayetteville band, Nephilym

"He is my angel, my devil, my naughty boy, but above anything else my Master"My girl sin

(in reply to slavegirljoy)

Post #: 17

RE: What's the point of a profile....? - 10/30/2007 12:22:33 PM

batshalom

Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline

Yeah, like RRafe said, it could be someone who thinks he can mold you. Or, like several said, a controlV mailer. Whatever, it doesn't matter. I am fairly clear (and slightly intentionally ambiguous) in my profile, but obviously a sub, but I get messages from male subs and slaves all the time who want me to Domme them. ~shrug~

The good thing, as Aba reminds me when I become exasperated, it takes the sub's consent to be bothered. Respond as you wish and ignore whatever else rolls in. It's online so you can be as choosy or as loose-y and you want to be. It's not like these guys are in your living room.

(in reply to Phin)

Post #: 18

RE: What's the point of a profile....? - 10/30/2007 12:23:58 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

Yep, just finished up my "2007 Fall Mailings" subs, look in your box you might already be a winner!!!! It goes something like this....

"Hi! I read your profile several times and I was immediately taken by your intelligence, your writing style as well as your description....It's extremely rare to find a woman that possesses just one of these qualities and I was astounded to see that you encompassed exactly what I have been in search of....I would really enjoy starting up a conversation that might lead to some serious cocksucking, hard core ass play and bondage ....Please respond back to me...You are sooo special. I feel you gurl!!!

< Message edited by domiguy -- 10/30/2007 1:04:22 PM >

_____________________________

(in reply to Phin)

Post #: 19

RE: What's the point of a profile....? - 10/30/2007 12:25:27 PM

therealboss

Posts: 227
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline

i once complimented a sub on her beauty,she and her dom took it as a chat up,i agree,people should read the context of things.

_____________________________

be the best

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 20

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