RE: why we are, how we are

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RE: why we are, how we are - 11/1/2007 4:06:13 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
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I am Dominant, I believe that I was born with that personality trait and it was nutured in my home growing up. My Mother wanted to live a 1950's style household and to be in her words "patted and taken care of". My Father wanted a relationship of equal footing so at times there were some arguments as he attempted to get her to be more involved in the decision making. The notion of being the "little woman" wearing an apron and pearls just never appealed to me.

~Lashra

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“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

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RE: why we are, how we are - 11/1/2007 6:55:59 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
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Personally I've always assumed it came from puberty onset depression at a time when such in pediatrics was not considered possible, and there were no effective treatments anyway. Barring electroshock which at the time left you with major damage to memory.

The truth is, struggling with depression day in and day out for years doesn't leave you with the needed energy to forge ahead and be the great leader. I'm grateful when someone else will be the leader and allow me to help while still knowing I can give some of the load back if I just don't have the strength to deal. Add to that a puberty onset mental illness in my oldest, and my rapidly approaching menopause, and it's obvious I have to be careful about expending all my energy.

Doing requires a certain kind of energy, but planning requires a different, and one I just don't have that much of. Especially when decision making for me involves trying to make sure everyone else gets what they need out of it, while never considering my needs important. He will make decisions that take into account my needs and I'm very grateful to him for that. It's a vast relief to lean on him in need.

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RE: why we are, how we are - 11/1/2007 7:32:13 AM

MrSpectacular

Posts: 1153
Joined: 8/27/2007
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It is a good question - it comes up all the time if I get into email exchanges.
For me it just fits right. To be flip and quote Popeye - I am who I am because I am. Maybe it is genetic - but I do acknowledge that for others it is a learned trait and does alter over time.

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Post #: 23