True Love on Collarme? (Full Version)

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sweetNsmartBBW -> True Love on Collarme? (10/31/2007 12:40:29 PM)

Hi all...

I came across this in a profile today, and it mirrors a message I'd recently gotten from another dominant:

"If you are seeking true love, a soulmate or marriage; - visiting eharmony.com may be more appropriate for you than CM."   

My question is how do others view this?  Is this site an inappropriate place for people seeking love, soulmates, or marriage?  I know that a person is much more likely to find those things in real life settings- but is looking for a kinky, or D/s, mate here any less appropriate than seeking play partners here?

I understand that not everybody is seeking the same thing- what I don't understand is why anyone would counsel others to seek elsewhere just because it's not what they are personally looking for.  Curiosity has gotten the better of me- and I'd appreciate the thoughts of others: both those that agree with the anti-true-love sentiment, and those that don't.  Thanks so much! 



sweetstorm -> RE: True Love on Collarme? (10/31/2007 12:44:18 PM)

Maybe it's the hopeless romatic in me but I don't think this is necessarily the wrong site to try to find true love on. Especially if you are seeking a LTR with a little or a lot of kink in it.

It takes a lot of searching to find your soulmate, whether you are looking for some kink or not.



RosesHaveThorns -> RE: True Love on Collarme? (10/31/2007 12:46:53 PM)

I've seen couples that have met and gotten settled down post about their marriage/collaring/whatever. Many people ask for long term relationships.

My question is, why wouldn't kinky people want to find a longlasting relationship?

And I can't imagine that telling people on eharmony or other "normal" dating sites that you want to be tied up and spanked, or spank them is going to go so swell.



breatheasone -> RE: True Love on Collarme? (10/31/2007 12:51:12 PM)

Inappropriate? I hope not...but yes, its possible. [:)]



daddyscherry -> RE: True Love on Collarme? (10/31/2007 1:00:24 PM)

Although i didn't meet my Daddy actually on CM, but on MySpace..the first time i ever saw him was here on CM and we have love....so it sort of counts that we met here.

i wouldn't have even considered looking on a non-BDSM dating site (it was more of a flue that we met on MySpace)...Why would i look at a vanilla site when i don't want a vanilla relationship?





completenz -> RE: True Love on Collarme? (10/31/2007 1:00:45 PM)

we all came here seeking different things. Before C and i met we were both here searching for something we could only dream of. Guess what, we found each other and our dreams came true. We are a Dom/sub couple but we are also soulmates and so in love with each other. Yes the search was long and sometimes disheartening but we did succeed and life is wonderful
Dont let anyone tell you that you dont belong here or that what you seek is not real
good luck
C & c



toservez -> RE: True Love on Collarme? (10/31/2007 1:09:15 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: RosesHaveThorns

I've seen couples that have met and gotten settled down post about their marriage/collaring/whatever. Many people ask for long term relationships.

My question is, why wouldn't kinky people want to find a longlasting relationship?

And I can't imagine that telling people on eharmony or other "normal" dating sites that you want to be tied up and spanked, or spank them is going to go so swell.



I agree with this. My ability and scope of what I am willing to do in power exchange relationship and for that matter specific kinks is tied into directly how much I care for the person. So for me personally no mutual love and caring for each other no I am your slave.

Most on the personal side are in fact looking for long term relationships and anytime love is brought up in a thread a vast majority from both genders and roles will say for any long term relationship it is important to them.

Whether a vanilla dating site, this site or any other place, they are just simply the tools to find what you are searching. Starting on a site like this is just because most wanting/needing this aspect in our life and not about hey look you’re a dominant and I am a submissive with similar interests lets get together. Most of us this is just one step in a long path to see if we can be with someone and not just about this type of thing.

There are all types out there and that does include just casual no heart involved flings and long term situation where people do not want the heart to enter into the equation as well. It is a to each there own but also to understand any long term and/or 100% relationship requires for the other person to fill are needs and many of our desires and for most, not all, that comes with our heart needing that nasty intangible thing called love. ;)




Gwynvyd -> RE: True Love on Collarme? (10/31/2007 1:18:42 PM)

How can anyone say that youo can or can not find true love her, there or anywhere.

Love comes unbidden when you least expect it sometimes.. but it will not come to you if you lock yourself up in your house with no outside contact.

Some find it at Church, some find it in the produce section... some find it in online forums... *shrugs*

As long as you are searching for it with the best of intents.. and find it.. who cares how you came by it?

If you have a specific need to be happy... say " I have to be spanked with a rubber chicken daily to feel sexy and fulfilled" then you need to go to a place where folks that would be Ok with that sort of thing.. Looking for it at the A&P ( groc. store) simply will not fit the bill now will it?

Gwyn
Who is very happy with all of her loves... one she found here even.



Tigrita -> RE: True Love on Collarme? (10/31/2007 1:18:48 PM)

I want love as well as D/s and kink in my life, from the same relationship (and found them here *grin*).  Personally, I found it extremely hard to find the D/s and kink in the vanilla dating (and yes, online dating) scene; too slow, tricky, and inefficient to broach the subject or 'screen' people.  Why on earth wouldn't it be more efficient to come to a site like this, a congregation of kinky BDSMers to narow things down?  Sure, not everyone here is looking for love, but I think it is easier to find those looking for love here than it is to find those looking for BDSM on match dot com. 

~ J



tornaway -> RE: True Love on Collarme? (10/31/2007 1:21:24 PM)

  It's been my experience that the cynics - especially those that feel compelled to have to put down other people's desires for a relationship beyond kink - are either already paired with someone   ( and may be getting pissy because you won't consider them ) ,   have no interest in any kink "with strings"  ,   or are completely soured against love because of their own negative past .
 
        Let 'em be ,  and go on and find what YOU want and need  !!     I've heard about too many successful couples ,   here and elsewhere .   Never give up hope  ! [:)]



LadyHibiscus -> RE: True Love on Collarme? (10/31/2007 1:46:07 PM)

One of my friends found her current love here, so why not?  I have met many people online that I have come to love as friends in realtime.  Ever filled out an eharmony form?  Not much there about CBT and bondage!



justheather -> RE: True Love on Collarme? (10/31/2007 1:49:40 PM)

I got the same email. Must have been a bulk-mailing.

Thing is, Im about to get married to my Daddy in November, and we do, in fact, love one another very deeply, so...

Id say, (if I were compelled to say, that is) whomever sent/wrote it either has tunnel vision and can't imagine someone wanting something other than what HE is here to find.
Or he's got a case of the proverbial sour grapes.
Or both.

Edited for TMI



Sephy -> RE: True Love on Collarme? (10/31/2007 1:51:32 PM)

Of course you can find true love on CM......... same as you can find it any bloody where....... no more difficult here than anywhere else. i met my best r/l friend in the world on CM too.



justheather -> RE: True Love on Collarme? (10/31/2007 1:51:40 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: RosesHaveThorns

And I can't imagine that telling people on eharmony or other "normal" dating sites that you want to be tied up and spanked, or spank them is going to go so swell.



Oh, I can imagine it, cause I did just that.
Id say reactions were...not so positive.



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: True Love on Collarme? (10/31/2007 1:52:29 PM)

what we kinksters can't have love and ltr happiness like the nillas?

i've found the love of my life here on CM.  with Daddy's permission and blessing, i'm planning a wedding/crosscountry move to Oregon for August. i don't think eharmony has a section to match single kinksters with other kinksters.



justheather -> RE: True Love on Collarme? (10/31/2007 1:55:52 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl


i don't think eharmony has a section to match single kinksters with other kinksters.



HA! Are you kidding? If they find out you do it any way but missionary position with the lights off through a hole in the sheet you get kicked off the site.



justheather -> RE: True Love on Collarme? (10/31/2007 1:57:28 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

i've found the love of my life here on CM.  with Daddy's permission and blessing, i'm planning a wedding/crosscountry move to Oregon for August.


Wow, time sure flies. It seems like you just met that guy.



akisha -> RE: True Love on Collarme? (10/31/2007 1:58:02 PM)

You have as much chance as finding true love here as you do as anywhere. Probably better here if you are kinky lol would be a hell of a shocked to some poor lil person on the other end of the eharmony chat when you list under you "things you can't live with out" A mate that wants to be beat & tortured and tied up or vice versa. [:D]



RRafe -> RE: True Love on Collarme? (10/31/2007 2:04:13 PM)

of course it can,but not when you expect it to.



KatyLied -> RE: True Love on Collarme? (10/31/2007 2:06:20 PM)

~fr~
Well don't be too quick to knock e-harmony, vanillas need love too.  I know someone who recently met a guy from there, and they seem very happy, if smiling faces are any indication  I am just a tiny bit jealous, they may have the perfect relationship, except for that pesky boring dynamic thingy.    





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