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RE: Struggling to find a Master - 11/3/2007 12:04:49 PM

beargonewild

Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

And if he wants to move north of the border, there's always: Toronto, Ottawa, Montreal, Sudbury, Vancouver.!

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(in reply to Vanatru)

Post #: 21

RE: Struggling to find a Master - 11/3/2007 7:51:55 PM

Vanatru

Posts: 300
Joined: 4/16/2004
Status: offline

thanks for your additions, beargonewild. It's not exactly the kind of info most cities publish, eh? *laughs*

(in reply to beargonewild)

Post #: 22

RE: Struggling to find a Master - 11/6/2007 11:16:27 AM

sirguym

Posts: 318
Joined: 8/10/2007
Status: offline

I would say that putting more about yourself in your profile must help.

I know that the more you say, the more reasons you give for rejection.

But it is also true that the more you can say that arouses interest, the more interest you will get.

An almost blank profile is understandable in a newbie, or someone of barely legal age.

But after 20 years of relationship, if there's not more to say, then why should anyone be interested?

I am UK based and not looking for me anyway; but I guess the same principles apply ....

(in reply to arjento)

Post #: 23

RE: Struggling to find a Master - 11/10/2007 9:39:57 PM

oreogirl

Posts: 1039
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline

Forget NYC!!!! I've been here for years and have yet to find anything resembling a Master/Top/Dom or any other name you care to use. It appears that all of the Masters are either already taken here or not interested in having a sub/slave.

_____________________________

Submissive does not mean weak.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Ich diene Ihnen, weil ich Sie liebe. Ich liebe Sie, weil ich Ihnen diene. Es macht in meinem Herzen keinen Unterschied.

(in reply to Vanatru)

Post #: 24

RE: Struggling to find a Master - 11/11/2007 9:34:25 AM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: oreogirl

Forget NYC!!!! I've been here for years and have yet to find anything resembling a Master/Top/Dom or any other name you care to use. It appears that all of the Masters are either already taken here or not interested in having a sub/slave.

How can you have success when you are looking for a European Daddy Dom in NYC - move to Europe

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to oreogirl)

Post #: 25

RE: Struggling to find a Master - 11/11/2007 5:35:33 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: ehlovindom

quote:

ORIGINAL: arjento

Not sure what munches are.

But you have been a slave for last 20 years?

you don't have to be involved in the community or scene to be a slave for 20 years or any other amount of time....

edited to add: i was a slave long before i attended a munch...i found them helpful in finding other like minded people without quite so much BS...but it is still quite possible to engage in power exchange relationships your entire life without ever attending a munch...

I have been exploring my submissiveness for about 5 years... I knew 5 years ago what a munch was, and I have never attended one.

One does not have to attend something to know what it is.

I am sure he has been a slave off and on for 20 yrs... but at the same time it is a little odd he has never heard of a "munch"

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Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to chellekitty)

Post #: 26

RE: Struggling to find a Master - 11/11/2007 5:39:49 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

quote:

ORIGINAL: oreogirl

Forget NYC!!!! I've been here for years and have yet to find anything resembling a Master/Top/Dom or any other name you care to use. It appears that all of the Masters are either already taken here or not interested in having a sub/slave.

How can you have success when you are looking for a European Daddy Dom in NYC - move to Europe

It's not that; she means there are no good single Doms left in NYC; believe me.

(in reply to velvetears)

Post #: 27

RE: Struggling to find a Master - 11/12/2007 12:42:22 PM

MasterLehr1

Posts: 10
Joined: 10/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: arjento

I have been a slave off and on for the last 20 years. I love being a slave to men but I am really struggling to find a real Master to take part-time or full-time ownership of me. Part of it is because I live in Iowa I am sure. Any advice on how to attract a true Master.

I also love to serve groups but cannot find any success in that area either.

I wouldn't pack my bags for a big city just yet. Living in a rural area has its limitations, but they can be overcome.

I found my Rayna online. Each month I drove 10 hours from one small town to another to see her. I would have easily driven twice that long if necessary. We've been together now for almost 8 years living in rural Wisconsin.

As far as finding a Master is concerned, you can certainly look for an individual with those credentials. However, there are many Doms out there who don't feel "qualified" to use that term yet. You should consider giving these gentlemen a chance, as they may be open to a long term M/s dynamic sometime in the future. A good clue will be how mature they are emotionally, and how well you both get along in the everyday vanilla world.

More important than anything else is your ability to articulate just what kind of relationship you are looking for...how much control of your life you are willing to give up, the kind of S/M you are open to, etc. By searching online, and speaking out at Munchgroups, you will develop this important skill.

In short, when you have become the "right kind" of person, you can begin looking for the "right kind" of person. Hopefully that makes sense.

(in reply to arjento)

Post #: 28

RE: Struggling to find a Master - 12/10/2007 4:01:47 PM

kinkypuppy2

Posts: 345
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline

Be patient it will happen in the manner it is going to and when it is going to.

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See nic "Kinkypupper" also as "slvseeker" As I cannot reply to any posts or log into collarchat under that name I had to create this profile.

(in reply to arjento)

Post #: 29

RE: Struggling to find a Master - 12/10/2007 6:04:44 PM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

arjento,

The simplist and fastest approach is to move to San Francisco. I gaurantee there will be several that will use you to exhaustion.

CP

(in reply to arjento)

Post #: 30

RE: Struggling to find a Master - 12/10/2007 8:43:19 PM

liminalRapture

Posts: 181
Joined: 9/6/2007
Status: offline

In my opinion, it is harder for LGBT in rural American than for hetero kinky folk. It is easier for us to hide our actitivies.

The advice on moving, if you can, is well worth it. I'm a straight chick (but a fag hag, in the nicest sense of the word) and used to live in the rural Midwest, and I must say, SO much better in NYC, where you can just be comfy in your own skin. And the dating pool for gay men here is SO large, you can have a different guy every night of the week until you meet one that appeals to you (so some of my gay friends tell me).

_____________________________

"Ring the bells that can still ring. Forget your perfect offering. There's a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." Leonard Cohen.

(in reply to CelticPrince)

Post #: 31

RE: Struggling to find a Master - 12/10/2007 9:36:13 PM

MistressPav

Posts: 350
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Join the Navy and ask for submarine duty.

that's just a fucked up answer *lol*

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A- Rh-

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 32

RE: Struggling to find a Master - 12/10/2007 9:44:23 PM

MasterofScyn

Posts: 141
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline

Always got Seattle too...

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May the road rise to meet you
May the wind always be at your back
May the sun always shine against your face
May the rain fall softly upon your fields
Until we meet again
May the spirits hold you in the palm of their hands

(in reply to MistressPav)

Post #: 33

RE: Struggling to find a Master - 12/10/2007 11:28:36 PM

mstrj69

Posts: 295
Joined: 5/27/2004
Status: offline

If you are not moving but want to feel you are helping or serving a group, what about community service such as salvation army or helping out at a church picnic and doing what others do not want to do. Sure it is not sexual but it could be serving and helping other groups of people.

(in reply to MasterofScyn)

Post #: 34

RE: Struggling to find a Master - 12/12/2007 5:08:22 PM

abqoralman

Posts: 9
Joined: 10/26/2007
Status: offline

Try Craigs List

(in reply to Vanatru)

Post #: 35

RE: Struggling to find a Master - 12/14/2007 1:31:33 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

[/quote]

But you have been a slave for last 20 years?
[/quote]

you don't have to be involved in the community or scene to be a slave for 20 years or any other amount of time....

[/quote]

ummm yea you do. After all you have to serve "someone" lol

(in reply to chellekitty)

Post #: 36

RE: Struggling to find a Master - 12/14/2007 1:36:55 AM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
Status: offline

No you dont. I dont have to have sex to know I'm straight. I went without sex for ten years at one stage of my life. I still knew I was straight.

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(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 37

RE: Struggling to find a Master - 12/14/2007 2:19:01 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

No you dont. I dont have to have sex to know I'm straight. I went without sex for ten years at one stage of my life. I still knew I was straight.

WTF over You DO have to have someone to serve sheesh from websters
\ˈslāv\
Function:
noun
Etymology:
Middle English sclave, from Anglo-French or Medieval Latin; Anglo-French esclave, from Medieval Latin sclavus, from Sclavus Slavic; from the frequent enslavement of Slavs in central Europe during the early Middle Ages
Date:
14th century
1 : a person held in servitude as the chattel of another 2 : one that is completely subservient to a dominating influence

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

Post #: 38

RE: Struggling to find a Master - 12/14/2007 4:22:15 AM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

But you have been a slave for last 20 years?

you don't have to be involved in the community or scene to be a slave for 20 years or any other amount of time....

ummm yea you do. After all you have to serve "someone" lol

my vanilla husband
my household
my family members who have needed help at one time or another
my employer

no one ever said that it had to be strictly BDSM servitude. service subs exist who do not wish any sort of sexual or technically BDSM servitude.

not that i'm one of those, just that i got some of my submissive needs met by serving in other ways.

kitten

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 39

RE: Struggling to find a Master - 12/14/2007 6:22:23 AM

veralove

Posts: 1
Joined: 12/12/2007
Status: offline

hi this is veralove.if u really want a slave badly dont hesitate to drop on me..
hope to hear from u.

(in reply to adoracat)

Post #: 40

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