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Hierarchy in households - 10/31/2007 10:55:23 PM   
Aimtoplease101


Posts: 319
Joined: 2/8/2006
From: San Diego, California
Status: offline 		A question for those of you who live or participate in (or even have 1st hand knowledge about) households or relationships that are: (1) female led; and (2) involve more than two members/ participants (got the scenario in mind?).

If the female Domme has both male and female subs, does there tend to be a hierarchy among the subs based upon their gender? In other words, does either the male or female sub occupy a "dominant" or superior role vis-a-vis the other, simply because of their sex?

Regards, ATP

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RE: Hierarchy in households - 10/31/2007 11:11:59 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Right now, my hierarchy isn't based on sex, even though the ways boys and girls are treated are sometimes different. My heirarchy is based on the level of commitment. A life-time collared slave, such as my girl, has more 'pull' so to speak than a contractual collar. Experience also counts as hierarchy when it comes to decisions that I ask for input about. Otherwise, who does what, when, where and with whom is all up to me and my whim.

Master Fire


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RE: Hierarchy in households - 10/31/2007 11:17:07 PM   
IdiotMale


Posts: 132
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline 		Nice :)

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RE: Hierarchy in households - 11/1/2007 4:08:34 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		No, gender is meaningless to me. If I had more than one sub, the hierarchy would depend upon how long that they had been with me. My current male sub would be #1 and anyone else would follow thereafter.

~Lashra


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“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






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RE: Hierarchy in households - 11/1/2007 4:44:37 AM   
MsCfromMelbourne


Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		Of the few "poly" households I know, if two members of the household are married or otherwise in a  really LTR, the newer additions are supposed to be more "dispensible" if the whole idea is not working out.

That is the theory, but I have seen new subs successfully break up old marriages.  Subs compete for favour and heirachies are dynamic. "Alpha" subs can lose their spot in the pecking order to the newer household member (of either gender).   

In the past I had two male submissives at once and replaced the primary partner with the newer submissive after a few months (twice actually).  Of course the outgoing subs hated the situation and - with the benefit of hindsight - it was unneccessarily cruel on my part.

I have also had a male and female at the same time, but they fought like cat and dog for alpha sub status.  The male was my primary partner, so the girl just had to go.  Of course she was infuriated (even though she was the most recent addition to the house!)

The thing is, everyone swore "poly" was what they wanted at the time.  Go figure.

Nowdays, I prefer serial monogamy to avoid those sorts of emotionally untidy situations.   

PS sorry I didnt address your gender question.  In theory, the gender should not matter.  In practice, I prefer male primary partners so the female always got the flick if things weren't working out.  I cannot speak for other Dommes of course - they may prefer female primary partners or feel ambivalent about gender altogether

< Message edited by MsCfromMelbourne -- 11/1/2007 4:51:25 AM >

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RE: Hierarchy in households - 11/1/2007 6:24:10 AM   
MistressPurpleFL


Posts: 112
Joined: 10/2/2005
Status: offline 		In my home I have tried to create a poly home with an Alpha male and Alpha female who have equal rank; unfortunately the two were a bit too jealous of one another so I after futal attempts to resolve their issues I had to release them and so the search continues.  The slaves purpose at times can dictate his or her importance but it may also just be the connection felt so it really is a case by case situation.

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RE: Hierarchy in households - 11/1/2007 6:38:52 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Well, right now it's me, my husband, and my slave -- My husband is not my submissive so the hierarchy only relates to me and Fox.

However I have owned and trained more than one sub/slave at a time and in those situations the person with the most experience is the major domo.

I fully expect that once we have moved and settled down to the next city/town we live in that Fox will make an excellent major domo plus it will give his top side some exercise. That is not a matter of gender or sex merely of him being my slave for over 8 years now and thus far more capable of knowing what I want and how I want things done than anyone else.

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Aimtoplease101)
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RE: Hierarchy in households - 11/1/2007 10:30:12 AM   
LadyLynx


Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		it can be tricky to find those that will fit within a poly household.  I think alot of people more or less focus on the fantasy aspect, without really looking at the overall picture/day-to-day aspects.  And sometimes certain people just don't fit together.  and it is a shame when [people who don't fit] act like childish about it.

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I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
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RE: Hierarchy in households - 11/5/2007 4:55:19 AM   
MsCfromMelbourne


Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		Aplogies if you have seen this before, but "Poly Wally" always makes me laugh and laugh because its sooo close to the truth about poly, heirachy and BDSM.  The actors even look like poly people I know!

http://www.goodiebag.tv/video/pollywally.htm



_____________________________

<----- Corset, mask and collar designed and manufactured by metalsmith Karl H, chromed and lined in black suede. Masks and collars available from http://www.lucreziadesade.com.au/default.html. Corsets custom made only

(in reply to LadyLynx)
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RE: Hierarchy in households - 11/5/2007 5:23:06 AM   
DMFParadox


Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline 		Put enough drugged, drunk, broke, young and tragically beautiful leftovers from society in the same low low low-rent housing, and you end up with the poliest household ever.  No hierarchy required, except for Dealer and Dealt with.  Musicians are good for finding these; just hang out with a guitar in your hands for a while in the shady part of a metro area, you'll see what I mean.  Live the dream; quit your job, sell your car, use the money to buy some blow and wander around until you stick to the side of one of these places. 

Sarcasm over.  Voice of experience, you really do not want this.

Props to those that make responsible poly households a reality.  I salute you.

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)
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