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All Hail any Dom/Owner who labels himself such!! - 11/1/2007 10:24:06 AM

mya75

Posts: 300
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline

Yeah I must ask this ...Why is it when a sub posts asking for advice she/he is immediately told to try and work things out even when she/he has clearly stated that this has been done. He/She is then put through a series of questions by people responding to the post asking for more and more info ...But......When a Dom/Owner posts they usually get definitive answers based on their onesided posts....Just an observation I made and wanted to see what kind of responses I would get...Thanks in advance and again this is based on what I have seen and read and doesnt mean all posts are like this...

_____________________________

~**Mya Papaya**~

"A fool learns from his own mistakes, a wise person learns from the mistakes of others."

Post #: 1

RE: All Hail any Dom/Owner who labels himself such!! - 11/1/2007 10:34:59 AM

Goddess20

Posts: 73
Joined: 7/12/2007
From: Birmingham, England
Status: offline

That's a good statement actually.

If I can give advice then I will, whether its a sub or Dom/me.

But you are bang on there chick, it does happen a lot.

(in reply to mya75)

Post #: 2

RE: All Hail any Dom/Owner who labels himself such!! - 11/1/2007 10:50:25 AM

Shawn1066

Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline

...hmm...

That does seem to happen quite a lot.

(in reply to Goddess20)

Post #: 3

RE: All Hail any Dom/Owner who labels himself such!! - 11/1/2007 10:55:19 AM

biracalsub4wmDom

Posts: 109
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: Illinois
Status: offline

yes, that does happen a lot. good call gurl!

_____________________________

blessings...

biracialsub

***Please respect that I am OWNED & not seeking a Master. Thank You***

(in reply to Shawn1066)

Post #: 4

RE: All Hail any Dom/Owner who labels himself such!! - 11/1/2007 10:56:02 AM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

if, in general, D-types asked the same type of questions as s-types i would find this accusation relevant...but in general, they do not...so, in general, they do not get the same type of response....if you stick around for a while (longer than 3 weeks) you will see a D-type ask a question that results in them being put through a series of questions asking for more information...
oh and they usually don't ask for that kind of question because of ego...not because they are any better than s-types....

chelle

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to Shawn1066)

Post #: 5

RE: All Hail any Dom/Owner who labels himself such!! - 11/1/2007 11:01:42 AM

xoxi

Posts: 1066
Status: offline

Personally I haven't seen too many posts by Doms wondering what their submissives were feeling or thinking. I think that's the biggest difference, and it's a difference between men and women. If a woman goes distant for a week a man will probably think "she's goinig through a rough time, she'll ask me if she wants help" because thats why he would go quiet and distant. You know?

Men tend to ask more concrete questions. "Should I leave?" "Do you think she is cheating?" "Is it okay to hit when I'm angry?" - stuff that could be answered with a yes/no. Whereas women tend to ask more open ended questions - "What is he feeling?" "What is he thinking?" "Why is he doing this?" "How can I change this?" and those are a bit harder to give a concrete answer to as an outsider. Most people can go with their gut if you ask is she cheating? Yes, no, or I don't know. But if you ask WHY is she cheating? Hell I don't know - ASK HER. Or better, ask her sister.

Also while I did divide this on gender lines I think a lot of the 'dominant' traits ascribed to males can be found in the dominant partner, while the more 'cooperative' traits ascribed to females can be found in the submissive partner.

(in reply to Shawn1066)

Post #: 6

RE: All Hail any Dom/Owner who labels himself such!! - 11/1/2007 11:02:25 AM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

Well the answer is we're a bunch of opinionated louts with biases because we're forum geeks and human.

Honestly most of these OPs don't give enough information to make any opinion on but it doesn't stop us from doing so (yeah me included). I think that's probably ok because most of those one time posters don't come back and we tend to get some information, insight and discussion in the threads from each other or even about each other, even if we may be totally off base on whatever the OP is asking, which isn't really always very clear or followed up on.

It's also true that the people that have been around for awhile kind of know each other and have some sense of what each other are about and you might see things being responded to that aren't appropriate for that paticular post but are in response to prior attitudes or relationships amongst posters.

However, there is a certain "do-me" mentality that people overrespond to in both roles. And the flight model of not just subs but people that are easy to say throw in the towel, all the time. I ponder whether that's always good advice in every situation.

Finally, and probably most importantly there are some (not many in my opinion, but enough to notice) who have an opinion that someone of the fairer sex or of the "weaker" role cannot ever have a valid opinion. share a weakness or state an opinion that's different from theirs without them feeling slighted, enraged and getting all puffed up and demonstrating their domliness....heh...or, in reality, what an ass they are.

Nonetheless, I doubt most posters truly asking questions really run right out and jump on the advice...if they do they have bigger problems than what they are posting on. But, you're right, it's kind of a mess at times.
l

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 11/1/2007 11:05:13 AM >

(in reply to Shawn1066)

Post #: 7

RE: All Hail any Dom/Owner who labels himself such!! - 11/1/2007 11:05:10 AM

RosesHaveThorns

Posts: 312
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline

I think it's just a trend for people here to not listen to all of the details. I'm sure I've done it, but I've seen threads with responses that have little or nothing to do with anything the Original Poster has said or asked, but are in response to them.

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 8

RE: All Hail any Dom/Owner who labels himself such!! - 11/1/2007 11:06:41 AM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RosesHaveThorns

I think it's just a trend for people here to not listen to all of the details. I'm sure I've done it, but I've seen threads with responses that have little or nothing to do with anything the Original Poster has said or asked, but are in response to them.

well many times you can't actually tell what they are asking and the debate starts to center around responses, which I think is ok.

or my favorite is when the OP is a freaking book....I skim sometimes, sorry, I shouldn't, but I do.
l

(in reply to RosesHaveThorns)

Post #: 9

RE: All Hail any Dom/Owner who labels himself such!! - 11/1/2007 11:09:45 AM

xoxi

Posts: 1066
Status: offline

Ugh not just a book but the condensed edition of Seasons 1-10 of Days of Our Lives.

And then the question at the end is "What should I do?" and they get mad when someone inevitably replies "you should get a blog if you want to vent."

Heh. Other people's pain isn't funny...but their self-importance certainly is!

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 10

RE: All Hail any Dom/Owner who labels himself such!! - 11/1/2007 11:10:03 AM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3
or my favorite is when the OP is a freaking book....I skim sometimes, sorry, I shouldn't, but I do.
l

do you skim my posts?

because as we all know, it's allllll about me...

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 11

RE: All Hail any Dom/Owner who labels himself such!! - 11/1/2007 11:10:14 AM

mya75

Posts: 300
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline

I have to agree "RosesHaveThorns" because I have seen that the longer the thread many people dont reply to the question being asked at all....sometimes I wonder if they even look at it ...

_____________________________

~**Mya Papaya**~

"A fool learns from his own mistakes, a wise person learns from the mistakes of others."

(in reply to RosesHaveThorns)

Post #: 12

RE: All Hail any Dom/Owner who labels himself such!! - 11/1/2007 11:10:48 AM

RosesHaveThorns

Posts: 312
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline

There is responding to what others have said, and then there is quickly skimming the first post, assuming it's just another one of the common topics that keep popping up, and replying as if it is. And then there is replying to the issue that the original poster has brought up with the completely wrong info that has been contradicted in their posts several times.

I've seen both, and I wouldn't be surprised if I will see it again.

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 13

RE: All Hail any Dom/Owner who labels himself such!! - 11/1/2007 11:14:40 AM

PetOwnerinWI

Posts: 2
Joined: 9/9/2007
Status: offline

I'm thinking that it becomes a matter of the lifestyle itself. Submissives are expected to take/endure/accept and when they indicate they cannot, the reaction of others is that it is the submissives failure on some level. Whereas a Dominant with a question is seen as gathering information for the educated "use" of their submisive.

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 14

RE: All Hail any Dom/Owner who labels himself such!! - 11/1/2007 11:14:59 AM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

louts?.......nice word..:)

Jeff

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 15

RE: All Hail any Dom/Owner who labels himself such!! - 11/1/2007 11:15:27 AM

bipolarber

Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline

Well, I don't know, Mya75, could you give me a little more information, before I try to answer that? Perhaps you should try to work this out more on your own, before posting it to the site....

(in reply to RosesHaveThorns)

Post #: 16

RE: All Hail any Dom/Owner who labels himself such!! - 11/1/2007 11:17:31 AM

mya75

Posts: 300
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline

I sure hope that was a joke

_____________________________

~**Mya Papaya**~

"A fool learns from his own mistakes, a wise person learns from the mistakes of others."

(in reply to bipolarber)

Post #: 17

RE: All Hail any Dom/Owner who labels himself such!! - 11/1/2007 11:32:53 AM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3
or my favorite is when the OP is a freaking book....I skim sometimes, sorry, I shouldn't, but I do and often it gives me some insight into who you are and sometimes who I am too.
l

do you skim my posts?

because as we all know, it's allllll about me...

No I read them, I just curse you for writing a book when you do. There are quite a few people that are regular posters that I read every one of their posts (except the political ones), you are one of them. I may not always agree, but you do a pretty good job of stating how you got there.

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 11/1/2007 11:41:04 AM >

(in reply to chellekitty)

Post #: 18

RE: All Hail any Dom/Owner who labels himself such!! - 11/1/2007 11:36:41 AM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxi

Ugh not just a book but the condensed edition of Seasons 1-10 of Days of Our Lives.

And then the question at the end is "What should I do?" and they get mad when someone inevitably replies "you should get a blog if you want to vent."

Heh. Other people's pain isn't funny...but their self-importance certainly is!

yeah but we're all guilty of it at times, someone hits something that's related to something we're worried about or it's something we have some knowlege on and get defensive...it's all good in the end most of the time.

(in reply to xoxi)

Post #: 19

RE: All Hail any Dom/Owner who labels himself such!! - 11/1/2007 12:38:18 PM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

if, in general, D-types asked the same type of questions as s-types i would find this accusation relevant...but in general, they do not...so, in general, they do not get the same type of response....if you stick around for a while (longer than 3 weeks) you will see a D-type ask a question that results in them being put through a series of questions asking for more information...
oh and they usually don't ask for that kind of question because of ego...not because they are any better than s-types....

chelle

QFT

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to chellekitty)

Post #: 20

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