RE: Submission outside your comfort zone

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RRafe -> RE: Submission outside your comfort zone (11/1/2007 6:38:46 PM)
Here's my prespective. I'm a story teller. Any of you that have read me here-know that I can use words to good advantage. I can weave intricate tales of how some mythical girl faced fears and shame-and overcame them. And how proud her man was-for her being so strong and resilient-that she lost her fear. When you KNOW that you have that sort of unwavering support behind you. What you are capable of, astounds even you at times.

Abraxus -> RE: Submission outside your comfort zone (11/1/2007 6:45:01 PM)
Perks Rocky Moutain Oysters Humm what a novel idea. Gives that some thought. WEG hugs Erin

Cyntilating -> RE: Submission outside your comfort zone (11/2/2007 2:43:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RRafe Here's my prespective. I'm a story teller. Any of you that have read me here-know that I can use words to good advantage. I can weave intricate tales of how some mythical girl faced fears and shame-and overcame them. And how proud her man was-for her being so strong and resilient-that she lost her fear. When you KNOW that you have that sort of unwavering support behind you. What you are capable of, astounds even you at times. {What you are capable of, astounds even you at times.} ....sooo very true

Twicehappy2x -> RE: Submission outside your comfort zone (11/2/2007 4:04:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Abraxus Perks Rocky Moutain Oysters Humm what a novel idea. Gives that some thought. WEG hugs Erin Lmao.....Hello good looking. I am about to violate my friendship with Erin. So, you will owe me one. Open a can of green beans, hide one behind your back, then chase her with it. (You have to promise not to try and make her eat it or i will never tell you another secret again!) Ok, Erin, go ahead, call Scooter and tell him something equally disgusting to do to me, think of something besides feeding me egg whites, lol. (taps toes waiting for phone to ring so i can hear "you bitch") Edited to add; Humiliation play for me would be being forced to ride a Kawasaki, i hate Bubba Stewart!

batshalom -> RE: Submission outside your comfort zone (11/2/2007 4:35:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subtee However, it is not always the case and I've been subject to being taken "outside my comfort zone" by one who's motivations were hostile, where he didn't feel the need to determine by abilities/capabilities, and therefore I couldn't trust or understand that his intentions were anything but hostile. So within the beautiful, synchronistic, reciprocally trusting relationship, yes, go there, experience! However, without, please don't. Ah, Tee, yes. Good point, especially for novice lifestyle folks who might be reading. If this is someone you haven't known long, or someone who makes it his priority to do things like this, if your gut tells you it's not right, it's not right. For me, in the case with Aba, we have a solid core relationship with a lot of trust and time built in. I do not wonder about his motivation, trust him without hesitation, and know he will not go past my point of physical, mental, or emotional health. It's all about knowing your partner.

Abraxus -> RE: Submission outside your comfort zone (11/2/2007 4:54:35 AM)
"Humiliation play tends to unravel all of that composure that I strive so hard to maintain. How does one keep their sense of dignity and class when that modesty is removed as an option and the primary emotions are embarassment and humiliation? " Just a thought here, Maybe it is the loss of control of your ability to maintain control of your composure that you fear. However, when you do give that control over to your Master and trust that He/She will be there for you emotionally after the scene, is where the exchange occurs which we seek within this lifestyle that makes all that we do so desirable to us. Furthermore, when pushed outside our comfort zone, isnt that where the most of our personal groweth occurs?

biracalsub4wmDom -> RE: Submission outside your comfort zone (11/2/2007 5:58:42 AM)
What are Rocky Mountain Oysters?? (yes.....I AM a newbie!)

AEslaveM -> RE: Submission outside your comfort zone (11/2/2007 6:21:40 AM)
How very beautiful your words and thoughts are..................and i think you speak for many of us in the things that you have done and accomplished with his guidance and care............ Thank you!

AEslaveM -> RE: Submission outside your comfort zone (11/2/2007 6:24:51 AM)
I, too, agree with Lucky Albatross.........that security doesn't come easily for a lot of us, i have noticed.......

Twicehappy2x -> RE: Submission outside your comfort zone (11/2/2007 6:36:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: biracalsub4wmDom What are Rocky Mountain Oysters?? (yes.....I AM a newbie!) Bulls testicles, yummy....not!

laurell3 -> RE: Submission outside your comfort zone (11/2/2007 6:49:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross In thinking about this more, I'd guess I'd really say "Being comfortable and secure IS what's outside of my comfort zone" so my partner teaching and giving me that is a constant blessing. wow thanks for that, it really made me think. l

CreativeDominant -> RE: Submission outside your comfort zone (11/2/2007 7:09:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x quote: ORIGINAL: biracalsub4wmDom What are Rocky Mountain Oysters?? (yes.....I AM a newbie!) Bulls testicles, yummy....not! ~shaking head~ they are sooooooooo scrumptious...pounded thin, breaded and deep-fried...mmmmmmmmmm

mistoferin -> RE: Submission outside your comfort zone (11/2/2007 7:48:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Abraxus Just a thought here, Maybe it is the loss of control of your ability to maintain control of your composure that you fear. Yes, I think that, at least in part, that is exactly what I fear. I tend to place value on people who have it and can keep it together....and I set that bar pretty high for myself. Weakness is not a quality that I tend to place value on....and if I lose control of my composure then to me, it feels like weakness....and that in turn feels like failure. edited to add: Welcome to the boards, it's good to see you here.

mistoferin -> RE: Submission outside your comfort zone (11/2/2007 7:53:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x quote: ORIGINAL: biracalsub4wmDom What are Rocky Mountain Oysters?? (yes.....I AM a newbie!) Bulls testicles, yummy....not! Twice, if we ever go to a CollarMe function, remind me to pack my own lunch! Geez, they're ganging up on me with those dang oysters now!

RRafe -> RE: Submission outside your comfort zone (11/2/2007 8:03:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin quote: ORIGINAL: Abraxus Just a thought here, Maybe it is the loss of control of your ability to maintain control of your composure that you fear. Yes, I think that, at least in part, that is exactly what I fear. I tend to place value on people who have it and can keep it together....and I set that bar pretty high for myself. Weakness is not a quality that I tend to place value on....and if I lose control of my composure then to me, it feels like weakness....and that in turn feels like failure. edited to add: Welcome to the boards, it's good to see you here. Fear is the mind killer. I don't take women down this far to destroy them. I do it to destroy the chains they create for themselves.

mistoferin -> RE: Submission outside your comfort zone (11/2/2007 8:09:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RRafe Fear is the mind killer. I don't take women down this far to destroy them. I do it to destroy the chains they create for themselves. Yes, I guess that I have created some pretty strong chains for myself....but don't we all? Sometimes those chains can feel very secure and the thought of having someone remove them is scary.

laurell3 -> RE: Submission outside your comfort zone (11/2/2007 8:10:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin quote: ORIGINAL: Abraxus Just a thought here, Maybe it is the loss of control of your ability to maintain control of your composure that you fear. Yes, I think that, at least in part, that is exactly what I fear. I tend to place value on people who have it and can keep it together....and I set that bar pretty high for myself. Weakness is not a quality that I tend to place value on....and if I lose control of my composure then to me, it feels like weakness....and that in turn feels like failure. edited to add: Welcome to the boards, it's good to see you here. Being imperfect isn't a weakness or failure, it's being human.

RRafe -> RE: Submission outside your comfort zone (11/2/2007 8:10:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin quote: ORIGINAL: RRafe Fear is the mind killer. I don't take women down this far to destroy them. I do it to destroy the chains they create for themselves. Yes, I guess that I have created some pretty strong chains for myself....but don't we all? Sometimes those chains can feel very secure and the thought of having someone remove them is scary. Of course it is. That's why you need to feel that the Top is doing it from a sense of caring-rather than malice-or a power trip.

Twicehappy2x -> RE: Submission outside your comfort zone (11/2/2007 8:13:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin Twice, if we ever go to a CollarMe function, remind me to pack my own lunch! Geez, they're ganging up on me with those dang oysters now! Awwww...i will pack our lunch, a nice Gewürztraminer , some calamata olives, a few slices of prosciutto , some fresh Riviera pears, a crock of Stilton and a loaf of crusty bread.

mistoferin -> RE: Submission outside your comfort zone (11/2/2007 8:23:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin Twice, if we ever go to a CollarMe function, remind me to pack my own lunch! Geez, they're ganging up on me with those dang oysters now! Awwww...i will pack our lunch, a nice Gewürztraminer , some calamata olives, a few slices of prosciutto , some fresh Riviera pears, a crock of Stilton and a loaf of crusty bread. I knew I could count on you!

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