RE: Submissives who are challenged by submission vs. ambivalent about it (Full Version)

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slavekal -> RE: Submissives who are challenged by submission vs. ambivalent about it (11/3/2007 4:00:20 PM)

That phenomenon is a lot like what some gay guys go through.  They feel one way when aroused, but as soon as they orgasm, they are disgusted and angry at themselves.




Dragynsfury -> RE: Submissives who are challenged by submission vs. ambivalent about it (11/3/2007 4:07:04 PM)

Damn those orgasms.




beeble -> RE: Submissives who are challenged by submission vs. ambivalent about it (11/3/2007 4:37:55 PM)

They shouldn't be allowed!




aidan -> RE: Submissives who are challenged by submission vs. ambivalent about it (11/3/2007 6:37:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: beeble

They shouldn't be allowed!

And he was never heard from again...




Imajican -> RE: Submissives who are challenged by submission vs. ambivalent about it (11/17/2007 10:06:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: beeble

They shouldn't be allowed!


No, they shouldn't be ;)




Aimtoplease101 -> RE: Submissives who are challenged by submission vs. ambivalent about it (11/18/2007 12:03:02 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

could never really bring himself to do unless he was under the direction of a woman he wanted to submit to. He can't just do them on his own.  He has to do them for a woman, and she has to enjoy it, and sometimes he has to be motivated beyond that to find it in him to submit to the act.  

quote:



It seems to me that this category encompasses a huge portion of the activity that we often see in D/s or SM play activity. I, for example, would not get any charge out of spanking myself, but find it very erotic when a Domme so disciplines me. The same applies with a lot of service-oriented activity. I could perform the exact same act outside of a D/s context, but it doesn't carry the same emotional and psychological content as when done as an act of submission and surrender to a Domme's command.

I suppose the difference is the "could" factor here-- the difference between being physically capable of doing something on your own, but simply not driven or interested in doing so, versus actually being unable to perform the act unless ordered. But I think that's a pretty rare category. It seems to me this mostly would consist of circumstances in which the sub is having trouble owning up to his submissive nature, and wants the "excuse" of claiming that he had no choice-- the Domme "forced" him to do it. It seems to ignore the fact that we really engage in consensual power exchanges.

Part of the thrill in submitting to things that you normally wouldn't want to do (as opposed to being incapable of doing) is the intrigue of self-discovery, allowing a Domme to guide you in the exploration of the depths of your submission (or, as it's sometimes called, playing "How Low Can You Go?"). This is limit testing-- how far will you submit before identifying that line that you won't cross, that act that you simply will not commit, regardless of who is telling you to do it? It can be heady stuff, in the right circumstances and with the right participants.

Regards, ATP




unravel -> RE: Submissives who are challenged by submission vs. ambivalent about it (11/18/2007 4:02:05 AM)

i would agree in qualifying Your second category as unhealthy. i would think, as someone above posted, that our patriarchal society makes it that for some men, their entire education and upbringing brings such "instant repulse" reactions from the submissive as he may feel he is not "normal, that "this is not the way. i suspect it comes down to the inner conflict within the submissive, and the repression of his own feelings, therefore in the end of his own self. This is where i see it as having the potential to be extremely unhealthy. As one keeps denying his true self as a submissive, run away then come back, i could only imagine that these "instant repulse" episodes would go crescendo, and the psychological scar grows bigger each time. It is a matter of choice: accepting oneself if deep inside one is simply and deeply submissive, or moving on, i.e. looking deep inside oneself to see if really submission he was he is about. If not, then moving on... but that back and forth? i think it could be a recipe for emotional disaster, and hurt quite a few people along the way.
Your first category is to me a more beautiful struggle within submission, where one surrenders completely to the Dominant, but breaks mental barriers on the way, for the Dominant. So it is beautiful in that way:)
unravel




AFlyInYourWeb -> RE: Submissives who are challenged by submission vs. ambivalent about it (11/19/2007 5:51:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smythe
My boy sometimes describes it as the feeling when you are belted into a roller coaster, just before the ride starts. Yikes, how did I get here, this seems scary, I don't know what will happen but I am not in control. It's a little leap of faith, 
It's trust and faith and just a little fear.
Smythe



I like your boy's analogy about the roller-coaster.

Yes, it is all about trust, faith, and a dash of fear for me, too.

The fear, usually more perceived than real, is what makes it exciting.  The fear can only be overcome by having trust and faith in the Domina.

Faith is the belief in something or someone without specific empirical evidence to directly support that belief.  In the early stages of a D/s relationship, at some point I have to make a judgement call about whether or not to have faith in the Domina.  If I cannot surrender my doubts, and make that leap of faith for her, she probably isn't the right Domina for me, and vice-versa.

As Tug McGraw once put it: "You gotta believe."




rubberpet -> RE: Submissives who are challenged by submission vs. ambivalent about it (11/19/2007 7:06:40 AM)

I'm definitely the first one, but with a twist.  In past relationships, I had to be "properly motivated" to do the things my former owner asked me to do.  I was young, still learning, and finding my identity.  Fast forward over six years.  There is very little I wouldn't do for Mistress in the name of submission and love.  With Mistress, I don't need motivation to properly serve Her, nor do I fear my submission to Her.  I cherish it and hunger to be under Her boot and lower than the ground She walks on.  It is such a wonderful and natural feeling.  She cherishes my submission, so I think that takes out the love/hate aspect of it all.  I just do things because She wants me to and to make Her life as easy as possible.




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