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stella41b -> RE: Trust and Lies (11/2/2007 12:31:08 AM)
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Does it really matter here what the relationship was? Or whether it was online, real time, meeting or no meeting? Whichever way there was interaction.
I see things here in black and white, any sort of interaction between two people requires respect, trust and communication. These are all tied together, without one, you cannot have the others.
However the above is the ideal, we live in an imperfect world, we are not perfect, and therefore our interactions can be less than perfect. People say the wrong things, or they don't say the right things, people misunderstand each other, and the simple truth is that all along right through the relationship we are getting to know each other. You can never get to know someone completely.
Each time we start a relationship with someone we form some sort of image of them, we make assumptions about them based on what we know of them, how they appear to us, what they tell us, what we observe from their behaviour and how they come across. Generally the more they confirm our assumptions the better we feel, we feel more secure, more comfortable, more definite about the relationship. However this can go the other way, and we can feel insecure and even become afraid. When this happens we close up, we mislead, and we lie.
To me here the answer lies in the intention behind the lies and deceit. It's very easy to say she lied, she deceived me, therefore I can no longer trust her. But you need to understand why she lied.
People tend to lie to you and deceived you for one of two reasons. They are either afraid or insecure, or they simply disrespect you.
Therefore in your situation I would try and establish the motive or intention. If it's the former I would forgive her and place my trust in her the second time. If it's the latter I'd move on.
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