Doms/Masters who have proven themselves

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Doms/Masters who have proven themselves

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Doms/Masters who have proven themselves

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Doms/Masters who have proven themselves - 11/1/2007 8:55:51 PM

master218711

Posts: 17
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: Maryland
Status: offline

Ok, consider this. You are a slave/sub looking for a Master/Dom who is SSC. You state you do not have a problem with serving in a couple where the Male is Dom/Master and the female is slave/sub. In other words a Male-Dom couple. Would not the fact that the Male has owned his slave for over 15 years and she is happy, safe, sane, and also wanting to add another slave to the house to serve with her be something that you would consider to prove to yourself that the Master/Dom in question is in fact SSC and safe to at least met in a public area for the first time?? Also add to that the fact that both of them will meet you and that you can call and talk to the female slave and ask her anything you want about how the Dom/Master treats her in everyday life?? Would this not be a big plus if you are looking to join a couple for LTR??? Would it not make you feel safer to meet them? Add also to this the fact that they give you their real names, address, phone number, all of which you can look up or check with 411 to make sure it is for real. What else would a possible slave/sub want???

_____________________________

Master Jay
It's not just a life, but a way of living since 1985.

Post #: 1

RE: Doms/Masters who have proven themselves - 11/1/2007 8:59:07 PM

mya75

Posts: 300
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline

couldnt really ask for more if that is what the slave/sub claims to be looking for.......

_____________________________

~**Mya Papaya**~

"A fool learns from his own mistakes, a wise person learns from the mistakes of others."

(in reply to master218711)

Post #: 2

RE: Doms/Masters who have proven themselves - 11/1/2007 9:00:00 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

I've belonged to my Master for well over three years (certainly not 15 but long enough to have established he knows what he is doing with me). This does not mean what he does with me is in line with what another submissive is looking for.

Example: He has brought me to flourish and really come into my own. Another slave who joined us, very briefly, said he crushed her spirit.

So yes, it lends to credibility in some regard that he is not a psychopath, but it doesn't mean everything is hunky-dory. If she feels his power and the chemistry is right, she will be more inclined to meet him than if she feels iffy around him, regardless of who or what he owns and for how long.

(in reply to master218711)

Post #: 3

RE: Doms/Masters who have proven themselves - 11/1/2007 9:10:39 PM

master218711

Posts: 17
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: Maryland
Status: offline

for the sake of this topic we are just talking about a first meeting to prove that we are a real male and female, that the photos we send are real ones of us and that she is for real also.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I've belonged to my Master for well over three years (certainly not 15 but long enough to have established he knows what he is doing with me). This does not mean what he does with me is in line with what another submissive is looking for.

Example: He has brought me to flourish and really come into my own. Another slave who joined us, very briefly, said he crushed her spirit.

So yes, it lends to credibility in some regard that he is not a psychopath, but it doesn't mean everything is hunky-dory. If she feels his power and the chemistry is right, she will be more inclined to meet him than if she feels iffy around him, regardless of who or what he owns and for how long.

_____________________________

Master Jay
It's not just a life, but a way of living since 1985.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 4

RE: Doms/Masters who have proven themselves - 11/1/2007 9:11:45 PM

RRafe

Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline

Time in a relationship is no way to judge quality.

For all anyone else knows-the relationship is dysfunctional. Get used to the idea that you STILL have to prove yourselves. Couples who want a femsub as a third have a rough road to tread. And a lot of them play really stupid games-out of desperation. There are a huge number of *single* guys out there who will put them as a first priority-you had damned well better have something superlative to offer-to be able to compete with that....when all you can offer is second fiddle.

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 5

RE: Doms/Masters who have proven themselves - 11/1/2007 9:13:50 PM

mya75

Posts: 300
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline

I think the OP is saying what more does a person need to have in order to have a first meeting...they are not speaking of the longterm...

_____________________________

~**Mya Papaya**~

"A fool learns from his own mistakes, a wise person learns from the mistakes of others."

(in reply to RRafe)

Post #: 6

RE: Doms/Masters who have proven themselves - 11/1/2007 9:20:02 PM

master218711

Posts: 17
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: Maryland
Status: offline

Yes that is what I was trying to put across.
Just about the first meeting or first phone call. With caller ID blocking and a meeting in a public place they choose where they feel safe, how much more then they want to feel safe for a first meeting just to prove they are real and we are real.

quote:

ORIGINAL: mya75

I think the OP is saying what more does a person need to have in order to have a first meeting...they are not speaking of the longterm...

_____________________________

Master Jay
It's not just a life, but a way of living since 1985.

(in reply to mya75)

Post #: 7

RE: Doms/Masters who have proven themselves - 11/1/2007 9:34:49 PM

Noah

Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: master218711

Ok, consider this. You are a slave/sub looking for a Master/Dom who is SSC. You state you do not have a problem with serving in a couple where the Male is Dom/Master and the female is slave/sub. In other words a Male-Dom couple. Would not the fact that the Male has owned his slave for over 15 years and she is happy, safe, sane, and also wanting to add another slave to the house to serve with her be something that you would consider to prove to yourself that the Master/Dom in question is in fact SSC and safe to at least met in a public area for the first time?? Also add to that the fact that both of them will meet you and that you can call and talk to the female slave and ask her anything you want about how the Dom/Master treats her in everyday life?? Would this not be a big plus if you are looking to join a couple for LTR??? Would it not make you feel safer to meet them? Add also to this the fact that they give you their real names, address, phone number, all of which you can look up or check with 411 to make sure it is for real. What else would a possible slave/sub want???

You seem to be presenting a reasonable number of objectively reasonable indicators that you are a safe person to meet. If that's the case and she's not meeting you, the other thing she might want is someone capable of inspiring her to go beyond what's holding her back. I don't know.

Seeing you come here to make a "see, the other kids would do it" case might help her make a final decision, though.

(in reply to master218711)

Post #: 8

RE: Doms/Masters who have proven themselves - 11/1/2007 10:09:22 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Saying that because two internet people say they are both cool should be enough to allay her suspicions makes no sense to me.

However, if she isn't going to meet you, obviously she isn't right for you.

Frankly just because a man has been in a happy marriage for 15 years doesn't mean either of them know shit about polyamory or creating a lasting relationship with ME.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Noah)

Post #: 9

RE: Doms/Masters who have proven themselves - 11/1/2007 10:54:10 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Submissives come with red flags, too. If she's not happy with these things, it's my gut feeling that she has alterior motives behind getting to know you.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to master218711)

Post #: 10

RE: Doms/Masters who have proven themselves - 11/1/2007 11:32:33 PM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

greetings master,

depends on the sub/slave in question. for me, personally, i do not follow ssc and do not/would not (if i were uninvolved) see myself seeking to be owned by a couple at least at this point in my life. also, sometimes people just have feelings about things; i might have all the information in the world, plus background checks and references, plus have spoken to both parties multiple times, and simply get a bad feeling about the situation and choose to withdraw from it. for me, especially in sex, play, and relationships, my gut reactions and physical reactions are usually right, and you don't necessarily have to be the creepy slime of the earth for me to just have a negative reaction to the situation as a whole. it could have nothing to do with you as a couple.

respectfully,
annabelle.

_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to master218711)

Post #: 11

RE: Doms/Masters who have proven themselves - 11/1/2007 11:50:31 PM

NakedOnMyChain

Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mya75

couldnt really ask for more if that is what the slave/sub claims to be looking for.......

I agree with you, mya. But (this to the OP) unfortunately many people aren't really looking for what they think they want. It's the whole, "Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it," thing. This especially happens online. The internet, the lovely realm of possibility can grant wishes by proxy, but has the unfortunate side-effect of breeding those who want the dream and not the reality.

Also keep in mind that it is a narrower market when you're looking for someone to join a couple, especially if your slave has been around for a while. Some submissives like being the one and only, or the alpha. Jealousy is always a possible factor, especially if someone is looking at it as a competition. Some people feel that they will never be an equal of the slave who has been instated for so long. Also, many who thought they had bested these problems, when confronted with a real situation will find that they reemerge and will therefore head for the hills as quickly as possible. (These aren't my feelings, but I have heard these and similar things from many people.)

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to mya75)

Post #: 12

RE: Doms/Masters who have proven themselves - 11/2/2007 12:59:14 AM

mya75

Posts: 300
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline

I couldnt agree more with you *NakedOnMyChain*

_____________________________

~**Mya Papaya**~

"A fool learns from his own mistakes, a wise person learns from the mistakes of others."

(in reply to NakedOnMyChain)

Post #: 13

RE: Doms/Masters who have proven themselves - 11/2/2007 4:28:41 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: master218711

Ok, consider this. You are a slave/sub looking for a Master/Dom who is SSC. You state you do not have a problem with serving in a couple where the Male is Dom/Master and the female is slave/sub. In other words a Male-Dom couple. Would not the fact that the Male has owned his slave for over 15 years and she is happy, safe, sane, and also wanting to add another slave to the house to serve with her be something that you would consider to prove to yourself that the Master/Dom in question is in fact SSC and safe to at least met in a public area for the first time??

Not unless I knew them very well personally to the point where I had seen them fight and was confident there was no behavior hidden behind closed doors. Just because someone says they are happy, safe and sane doesn't mean they are. Appearences can be very deceiving.

quote:

Also add to that the fact that both of them will meet you and that you can call and talk to the female slave and ask her anything you want about how the Dom/Master treats her in everyday life??

Again, if I didn't already knew them very well that wouldn't mean all that much to me. Lying is easy enough to do so I would have to get to know them over time, no bonus points.

quote:

Would this not be a big plus if you are looking to join a couple for LTR???

Nope.

quote:

Would it not make you feel safer to meet them?

Not at all. Plenty of killers have had partners.

quote:

Add also to this the fact that they give you their real names, address, phone number, all of which you can look up or check with 411 to make sure it is for real.

That's pretty basic. If you won't hand that out, I wouldn't consider traveling to meet you. Nothing special.

quote:

What else would a possible slave/sub want???

Someone who understands that nothing provided here is all that exceptional and won't put them on a fast track to a relationship with me? There will be those where this is all they would ever want but there will always be those of us who just don't feel that what is provided here is anything more reassuring then any other details a stranger over the internet who we have never met could provide.

Many relationships are happy and wonderful from the outside. Simply saying you have a good and stable relationship doesn't mean anything.

Best of luck in your search,
Aqua

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 11/2/2007 4:33:04 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to master218711)

Post #: 14

RE: Doms/Masters who have proven themselves - 11/2/2007 6:53:31 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

Nope. Because I wasn't looking for a couple or for a play only relationship. I was looking for my One, someone who would put me first and vice versa. Not to come after his wife, after their ums, after their job, after their weekly golf game etc. But to be first emotionally.

And no matter how you reframe it, them having 15 years together means I would never come first.

The Man had a lot of bondage experience but no D/s experience and that was fine with me. We were both out of vanilla marriages and both knew we would learn together.

Ordering me to buy burgers so he could grill isn't something he needs ten years of experience for. Nor is announcing he'll go with me when I took my car to the shop so he could talk to the mechanic about the bearing.

But I give you points for cleverly advertizing your desire for a third in a way that requires a moment's thought before people realize it is a personal ad. However no matter how you slice it, if someone is looking for a monogamous relationship with a male dom, then serving a couple isn't what they will go for.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 15

RE: Doms/Masters who have proven themselves - 11/6/2007 5:59:41 AM

master218711

Posts: 17
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: Maryland
Status: offline

you know I had not thought of it that way but now that you say it.......it is or looks like it is a way to post an ad.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

Nope. Because I wasn't looking for a couple or for a play only relationship. I was looking for my One, someone who would put me first and vice versa. Not to come after his wife, after their ums, after their job, after their weekly golf game etc. But to be first emotionally.

And no matter how you reframe it, them having 15 years together means I would never come first.

The Man had a lot of bondage experience but no D/s experience and that was fine with me. We were both out of vanilla marriages and both knew we would learn together.

Ordering me to buy burgers so he could grill isn't something he needs ten years of experience for. Nor is announcing he'll go with me when I took my car to the shop so he could talk to the mechanic about the bearing.

But I give you points for cleverly advertizing your desire for a third in a way that requires a moment's thought before people realize it is a personal ad. However no matter how you slice it, if someone is looking for a monogamous relationship with a male dom, then serving a couple isn't what they will go for.

_____________________________

Master Jay
It's not just a life, but a way of living since 1985.

(in reply to Celeste43)

Post #: 16

RE: Doms/Masters who have proven themselves - 11/6/2007 7:23:08 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: master218711

Would not the fact that the Male has owned his slave for over 15 years and she is happy, safe, sane, and also wanting to add another slave to the house to serve with her be something that you would consider to prove to yourself that the Master/Dom in question is in fact SSC and safe to at least met in a public area for the first time??

I've owned the same car for 12 years. It runs great great and is well maintained, does that mean I'm a good driver?

Well, two things. First, submissives are known to have rose colored glasses on when it comes to their Dominants. I've seen repeatedly a submissive that raves about their Dominant and the reality is that he's a big rude, asshole on a power trip. He's just found someone that finds a chest thumper on a power trip, romantic.

Second, considering that everyone is looking for something different, your current relationship has no bearing on the prospective relationship.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to master218711)

Post #: 17

RE: Doms/Masters who have proven themselves - 11/6/2007 9:45:47 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: master218711

Would it not make you feel safer to meet them? Add also to this the fact that they give you their real names, address, phone number, all of which you can look up or check with 411 to make sure it is for real. What else would a possible slave/sub want???

Personally, nothing. I've met people with nothing more than a cell phone number.

If she's reluctant to meet up with this amount of effort and interest in her comfort, I'd probably be thinking that she's not actually that keen.

agirl

(in reply to master218711)

Post #: 18

RE: Doms/Masters who have proven themselves - 11/6/2007 9:48:05 AM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

Time in a relationship is no way to judge quality.

For all anyone else knows-the relationship is dysfunctional. Get used to the idea that you STILL have to prove yourselves. Couples who want a femsub as a third have a rough road to tread. And a lot of them play really stupid games-out of desperation. There are a huge number of *single* guys out there who will put them as a first priority-you had damned well better have something superlative to offer-to be able to compete with that....when all you can offer is second fiddle.

To me this depends on the timing of what you are talking about.

I agree with this in terms of you should not expect a free pass on these core issues just because you are a couple. Because one thinks you are SSC and just dreamy does not qualify you to go to the head of the line, assume things that everyone on here, including you are expecting to earn (trust) from the other and all the other things you think separate you from those crazy unknown people you have never met.

Certainly if you have exchanged some communication and they are unwilling to go to the next step then go ahead cut your losses and vent that the person is a fake or too scared to go to the next step. But if your demands are pretty much right off from the start then it is your problem. Your reasons are more about short cuts and not about finding someone, building trust and equal relationship.

Being a couple does not make you more sincere, real, safe, perfect or compatible then anyone else on a site like this.

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to RRafe)

Post #: 19

RE: Doms/Masters who have proven themselves - 11/7/2007 2:51:56 AM

master218711

Posts: 17
Joined: 6/9/2007
From: Maryland
Status: offline

Ok the car thing is not a good example. owning a female slave who has never had to go to the ER because of something that I have done is different then owning a car. HOWEVER, having said that, the part about rose colored glasses is very true. That cuts down to different strokes for different folks. However the issue here is not if she likes us as a Master/slave the issue is feeling safe enough that they will meet for the first time in a public place that they choose to talk, not to play or anything like that but talk and see each other in real life. course if after we meet and they want to play we would not refuse.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: master218711

Would not the fact that the Male has owned his slave for over 15 years and she is happy, safe, sane, and also wanting to add another slave to the house to serve with her be something that you would consider to prove to yourself that the Master/Dom in question is in fact SSC and safe to at least met in a public area for the first time??

I've owned the same car for 12 years. It runs great great and is well maintained, does that mean I'm a good driver?

Well, two things. First, submissives are known to have rose colored glasses on when it comes to their Dominants. I've seen repeatedly a submissive that raves about their Dominant and the reality is that he's a big rude, asshole on a power trip. He's just found someone that finds a chest thumper on a power trip, romantic.

Second, considering that everyone is looking for something different, your current relationship has no bearing on the prospective relationship.

_____________________________

Master Jay
It's not just a life, but a way of living since 1985.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Doms/Masters who have proven themselves

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094