RE: Rating the sex

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chellekitty -> RE: Rating the sex (11/2/2007 7:54:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 Dom, sub, switch, slave, purple headed giraffe, we all make mistakes we are all human, and we are all different. purple headed giraffes are not human....they are giraffes....

laurell3 -> RE: Rating the sex (11/2/2007 8:04:24 AM)
true...but I'm keeping it...so bite me chelle [8D]

VieVivante -> RE: Rating the sex (11/2/2007 8:42:13 AM)
What I find sadly amusing is he only asked about his sexual performance. Note he didn't ask your opinion of his performance in the scene. Only about the sex. Kinda tells you where he is coming from, don't you think? As for the crack about not answering sooner, that is just cheap manipulation technique #53. Pretending to be insulted about your tardiness instead of appreciative of your response. I agree with some of the good advice you have been given so far. If you continue to think this guy is worth dealing with, you are going to have to acknowledge up front you will constantly need to buck up his insecurities. Good luck! Master's Handbook: Rules, Regulations & Reality, page 127.

sammiebabygirl -> RE: Rating the sex (11/2/2007 9:21:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkDaddyZ Sounds like the dom is "ego trippin'" rate the sex..... that's truly HMDS! [:D] Sorry for hijacking. What is HMDS? jen

MadameMarque -> RE: Rating the sex (11/2/2007 9:25:09 AM)
There're too many things wrong with that. I think the upshot is that he's not acting like someone who's trying to cultivate a continued connection with you, but like someone you'd do well to leave behind, with one good evening to remember. First, from an everyday dating point of view, does anybody really know who's supposed to call whom, first? In a boy-girl pair, it would be gentlemanly of the man to call the woman, even if he didn't want to continue seeing you, but just a friendly check-in and for you both to feel good about it. But if that's too traditional for you, it's still certainly not any more your responsibility to call him, than his to call you. In a dominant/submissive pair, I don't know how he managed to reason in his mind, that he, the dom, was supposed to wait for you to call him, and that you calling first was proper and to be expected, such that he could then criticize you for it. Considering the fact that he didn't do any next day aftercare check-in with you, he's got no room to criticize. There may not be a need to do this in every case, but when you have a full scene and then sex and make a night of it, it can easily be anticipated that a check-in would be responsible and make both people feel better. But his response when you contact him after that night, criticizing and off-putting, really sounds like he doesn't want to continue. Considering his poor and rather troubling behaviour, which seems, from the little you say, at least a bit insecure, angry, and demanding, I'm hoping, for your sake, you'll consider not continuing with him.

Lordandmaster -> RE: Rating the sex (11/2/2007 9:28:05 AM)
Just tell him the truth. Tell him essentially what you just wrote here. If he can't handle the truth, you probably don't want too much more with him anyway. quote: ORIGINAL: slave4urneeds Recently i did a scene at a local club with a Dom that was introduced to me. The scene was great and really pushed my limits, which i truly enjoyed!! Afterwards that evening i did end up having sex with the Dom that i did the scene with. 3 days later i sent him an email and told him what a great time i had and i hoped to get to scene with him again. I got an email back saying that he was disappointed that it took me 3 days to say thank you. I responded back with how busy i had been and to forgive my lack of respect. Now he as asked me how i would rate the sex on a scale of 1-10? Ok obviously it wasn't mindblowing but hey what first times are especially with someone you met recently. Let alone that i know my performance sucked severely after such an intense scene. All i could think of at the time was how i wanted to just curl up in a corner for about 2 days of total darkness. So how do i respond and save what little face i have left with this Dom? help me, please!!

batshalom -> RE: Rating the sex (11/2/2007 9:32:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chellekitty quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 Dom, sub, switch, slave, purple headed giraffe, we all make mistakes we are all human, and we are all different. purple headed giraffes are not human....they are giraffes.... ~chuckle chuckle snort~

Missokyst -> RE: Rating the sex (11/2/2007 9:37:51 AM)
LMAO!! ...the russian judge..

Missokyst -> RE: Rating the sex (11/2/2007 9:45:41 AM)
I have to agree with you. Unless I am in an intimate friendship with the man I am scening with at a party I wouldn't expect him to call. Heck. I wouldn't have given him number simply because we played. But then again I wouldn't have had sex with him either. Kyst quote: ORIGINAL: TheChauvinist Not everyone believes that aftercare is a neccassary part of scenes. It obviously is not a point of contension with the OP. I find it interesting that you decide to focus on part of the post that is clearly not the reason why she is posting. You even go so far as to make assumptions just because the OP did not go into any detail about it.

Cuffkinks -> RE: Rating the sex (11/2/2007 9:49:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slave4urneeds Recently i did a scene at a local club with a Dom that was introduced to me. The scene was great and really pushed my limits, which i truly enjoyed!! Afterwards that evening i did end up having sex with the Dom that i did the scene with. 3 days later i sent him an email and told him what a great time i had and i hoped to get to scene with him again. I got an email back saying that he was disappointed that it took me 3 days to say thank you. I responded back with how busy i had been and to forgive my lack of respect. Now he as asked me how i would rate the sex on a scale of 1-10? Ok obviously it wasn't mindblowing but hey what first times are especially with someone you met recently. Let alone that i know my performance sucked severely after such an intense scene. All i could think of at the time was how i wanted to just curl up in a corner for about 2 days of total darkness. So how do i respond and save what little face i have left with this Dom? help me, please!! A few things to add. All are just My opinion... Was it proper for you to wait 3 days to thank him? No. Most (I won't say all) Dom/mes are a bit narcisistic and we expect things to come to us. So by not immediately thanking him, he saw it as an insult. OR...He is just a cruel D-type. I'm going to rule out the "inexperienced Dom" thought brought up on an earlier post because you said the scene was that good. Doesn't sound like lack of experience on his part to Me. Did you apologize for this? Yes. Good girl. If/when My little girl does something to offend or disappoint Me, (rarely) she is to make amends in a way that I see fit and then it's put away. Forgotten. If you do see him again, perhaps that will happen. Was it right for him to not check with you to make sure you were ok after something so "intense?" No. All narcissism aside, you submitted to this man. You gave yourself to him. He should have at least checked with you to make sure you were ok. What would have happened if you didn't send that e-mail? Would you never had heard from him? That's hardly an act of class on his part. And speaking of "class"... Is it ever a good idea for a man to ask a woman to rate sex? No. It screams immaturity. Any guy that has to ask how the sex was is obviously worried about it. While it's possible he didn't ask how the scene was because of confidence in his technique, or seeing your responses to his actions showed him all he needed to know, it's still immature and classless to ask you to rate sex with him on a 1-10 scale. Bottom line: Both of you have done things that wouldn't happen in a "perfect world." But, this is hardly a perfect world, right? Hopefully you will get the opportunity to see him again, as you said you'd like to. And hopefully you two can straighten out and put away any offenses commited and get on with having a great time together. Good luck.

Lordandmaster -> RE: Rating the sex (11/2/2007 2:31:12 PM)
Yeah, and a couple of other thoughts occurred to me. If he's all whiney about "Why did it take you three days to thank me???" and is asking you to rate his sex on a scale of 1-10, that sounds like approval-seeker with a huge insecurity problem. Ask yourself whether that's really the dom for you. "OK, OK, now that I've licked your pussy and made you come all over my face, please rate my performance on a scale of 1-10. And thank me promptly, dammit!"

Squeakers -> RE: Rating the sex (11/2/2007 4:10:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dawntreader quote: ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64 ah yes, a me thing not a we thing. See ya, bye. Use the 'dom be gone spray' and find one with class, who will spank your ass and not put you through massive hell or drag you down the well, just so you wear the collar that he got for a dollar. WTF? Seconds the WTF? But with a little editing I think I understand now. It might even be poetic---it rhymes sort of.

sammy7626 -> RE: Rating the sex (11/2/2007 9:57:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slave4urneeds Recently i did a scene at a local club with a Dom that was introduced to me. The scene was great and really pushed my limits, which i truly enjoyed!! Afterwards that evening i did end up having sex with the Dom that i did the scene with. 3 days later i sent him an email and told him what a great time i had and i hoped to get to scene with him again. I got an email back saying that he was disappointed that it took me 3 days to say thank you. I responded back with how busy i had been and to forgive my lack of respect. Now he as asked me how i would rate the sex on a scale of 1-10? Ok obviously it wasn't mindblowing but hey what first times are especially with someone you met recently. Let alone that i know my performance sucked severely after such an intense scene. All i could think of at the time was how i wanted to just curl up in a corner for about 2 days of total darkness. So how do i respond and save what little face i have left with this Dom? help me, please!! I would have responded that I was dissapointed in him for being such a lousy and disrespectful dom that he couldn't contact me in that time to find out how I was doing after a scene that involved pushing my limits. As for rating the sex...I'd go with whoever posted the olympic style scores, and make sure you include categories for level of respect and estimated mental age...(I'd go with a -2, and probably 15--though that's a high estimate).

dcnovice -> RE: Rating the sex (11/2/2007 10:16:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slave4urneeds quote: ORIGINAL: dcnovice You could always send him a complete report card (making up your own numbers, of course): Appearance: 5.62341 Mechanics: 4.24671 Setting: 3.87432 Mood Maintenance: 3.66431 Attention to Erogenous Zones: 6.64529 Orgasm Coordination: 4.78435 Handling of Sub Drop: 0.97552 If he complains about any of the numbers, blame the Russian judge. i love this one!! sounds perfect thanks!! LMAO Glad I could help. Of course, I made the numbers up, though I was fairly confident about the "sub drop" one. [:)]

SteelofUtah -> RE: Rating the sex (11/2/2007 10:20:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cuffkinks Most (I won't say all) Dom/mes are a bit narcisistic and we expect things to come to us Ahhh My Fellow Zooble! (Inside joke don't ask) You wrote this while smiling into a mirror didn't you? On a serious note however Cuff has hit the nail on it's fat little head. This Man, be he DOM or slob is a Narcisist, this is NOT a derogatory word, as many people are Narcicists, the point is that you should know these things about people. No one has the right to degrade you because you had sex with this man so to those posters get off your high horse, no one is perfect, except Me and Cuff (Again inside jokes no one is ment to understand but us Zoobles) As for his request, if you want another scene with him I suggest you answer AND ANSWER HONESTLY! As long as honestly is you saying he is a Greek God in the sack otherwise I suggest a little white lie. If you could care less if you ever see the shmuck again then why answer at all it would seem that he won't be calling you and he already thinks you are disrespectful so if you don't care about him let him go on thinking that and move on. If you are worried about you REP (and YES this is a bigger deal in a community then it is on CollarMe as a Well known Dom can paint nasty pictures in the heads of possible mates before she can say her own side) I would suggest you give him an ACTUAL honest answer and explain the ENTIRE situation and offer him a FINAL appology as it would seem the relationship needs to end. No Dom that I know could sully your name after an attempt to be as respectful as possible in dealing with his request. If you aren't willing to do any of that then I have no idea what else you could do. This is simply what I would want done to me. Nods to Cuff and looks out for +3 Throwing Daggers (Again Inside joke) As Always Steel

dawntreader -> RE: Rating the sex (11/2/2007 10:24:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Squeakers quote: ORIGINAL: dawntreader quote: ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64 ah yes, a me thing not a we thing. See ya, bye. Use the 'dom be gone spray' and find one with class, who will spank your ass and not put you through massive hell or drag you down the well, just so you wear the collar that he got for a dollar. WTF? Seconds the WTF? But with a little editing I think I understand now. It might even be poetic---it rhymes sort of. i hate to admit it , but with the editing you did - you are right[:D]

RRafe -> RE: Rating the sex (11/2/2007 10:29:56 PM)
Geez, how would you do that? from the make side Blowjob.......6. good lip control, but a bit lacking in enthusiasm and depth,excellent control of suction. Hands....8 Nice light touch, good pressure and knowledge of location-used the nails on the back a bit too much. Cunt.....7....nice look,very sleek and tight-excellent wax job. Lubricated well-scent nice,not overpowering or rank-tight,but needs to work on her kegels for more squeeze control. Asshole...9.....makes wonderful noises on entry-enough resistance to be fun. Great control of the sphincters, especially riding. And 7 overall, not bad-only porno queens do a lot better.[;)]

MadameDahlia -> RE: Rating the sex (11/3/2007 1:29:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dcnovice You could always send him a complete report card (making up your own numbers, of course): Appearance: 5.62341 Mechanics: 4.24671 Setting: 3.87432 Mood Maintenance: 3.66431 Attention to Erogenous Zones: 6.64529 Orgasm Coordination: 4.78435 Handling of Sub Drop: 0.97552 If he complains about any of the numbers, blame the Russian judge. Hilarious! You're officially my favorite person of the day. I'd give you a cookie if I could.

MistressPurpleFL -> RE: Rating the sex (11/3/2007 1:52:22 AM)
That dom you played with seems to be rather immature and well INSECURE.... Lady : LOL " you have potential" was funny. I am a bit more blunt: Did I make a lot of noise : Great No Noise : No more sex But that is just me :)

TheChauvinist -> RE: Rating the sex (11/3/2007 6:00:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 What's your deal was it you in the dungeon? If so....sorry you have to hear the sex wasn't all that great here. [8D] Thanks for proving my point about hostile reactions to perceived grievances. quote: I said "it seems" "which would be a problem FOR ME". Like almost every other poster here that gives us a snippet of a story, you're right we don't know many things. I'm not on the "Burn the Dom" bandwagon, but you do seem to jump on anyone that has any thought of the sub having any rights. Chill out, aftercare, for me is much more important and that would be my priority over stroking his ego. I have found for me personally aftercare is a huge necessity and a lack of contact for me would be a very big issue. I didn't say you were on the "Burn the Dom" bandwagon. You should really try to read a statement as it is written. Instead of with a negative slant to it. And which "sub rights" am I jumping on you about, exactly? The right to aftercare? Aftercare isn't a right. It's a courtesy the sub/slave/bottom may or may not ask for and the Master/Dom/Top may or may not give. Maybe it's you that really need to chill here. [;)]

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