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RE: MINDFUCK,Screwing with a submissive's mind/emotions - 11/20/2005 7:01:06 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

Sadly this lifestyle does seem to attract those that are just into being abusive and cruel and in my book they don't belong here and shouldn't be allowed.


Argh. Again, for the record.....the lifestyle is not special and blessed. There are abusive and cruel people out in the world, in general. I'm so tired of hearing how the lifestyle is so special. It's not. It's another way of living your life, of meeting your needs.


Absolutly correct. There is nothing special about this lifestyle. Just another way of expressing what we need and want from life. No different from any other lifestyle (and i use the word lifestyle very loosly ) Personally, I have always held with the idea that the way a person lives is not special, but rather it's the people within that lifestyle that are special, for recognizing their needs, accepting them, and then going out there to see that they are met. (think of the hippies in the 60's, and the "free love movement", there was nothing special about the way they lived per se, but the people themselves were special for choosing to live in that way)

But, to get back to the original OP;

Many seem to forget that abuse happens EVERYWHERE; all forms of abuse; very sad, but nonetheless true. Abuse is only abuse when the person being abused says NO, and fights against it.



(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: MINDFUCK,Screwing with a submissive's mind/emotions - 11/20/2005 7:06:53 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Evilbiatch


Do you REALLY believe your last sentence as it currently stands ?


LOL, well, now that you have pointed it out....No

Nothing worse than knowing what you want to say and being unable to put it words...

< Message edited by IrishMist -- 11/20/2005 7:08:47 AM >

(in reply to Evilbiatch)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: MINDFUCK,Screwing with a submissive's mind/emotions - 11/20/2005 12:42:26 PM   
LordODiscipline


Posts: 995
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: questionevery


Doms hold submisives in contempt? Is love=hate? Emotional cruelty is not equal to caring. Punishment for a misdeed is one thing. This lifestyle seems like an excuse for meanspirited people to toy with someone else's spirit. Submissive is not = broken spirit or willing victim.



OK...

I am sorry you feel that way -

And, thank you for your contribution to this forum.

~J

(in reply to questionevery)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: MINDFUCK,Screwing with a submissive's mind/emotions - 11/20/2005 1:53:03 PM   
LordODiscipline


Posts: 995
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Goonbanme
I am glad that counter-opinion is tolerated here.

Please be more specific about your statement.

I honestly have no idea what this means.

~J

(in reply to Goonbanme)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: MINDFUCK,Screwing with a submissive's mind/emotions - 7/14/2007 5:59:00 AM   
subfemale27


Posts: 9
Joined: 7/11/2007
Status: offline 		there are people who do not realize that this is a mutual relationship, there are 'boundaries' in place and W/we respect one another.
 
 i cannot understand why you 'vanilla' people feel the need to put down or criticize something that you will never understand?

_____________________________

the sting of His whip~ the welts from His crop~ the warmth of His kiss~ the click of the lock~ assures me i am His most cherished possession...

(in reply to questionevery)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: MINDFUCK,Screwing with a submissive's mind/emotions - 7/14/2007 9:32:06 AM   
meticulousgirl


Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline 		After several years in and around this lifestyle I completely see where you are coming from.

On the submissive side we have:

subs who are lazy and just want someone to play house with

subs who refuse to work and want the man to pay all the bills because they refuse to go out and get a job and just say that is how they are raised.  (That's fine but most households cant afford that these days)

subs who aren't really submissive but claim to be so they can just find someone or something to fill a need.

On the Dominant side:

users who just want someone around only for the sex

users who just want someone to clean and cook for them

users who want someone around that has a professional background and who can be used for free

users who just want every girl in the city perimiters to be his and stay exclusive when he's not going to be.

Both sides:

and then there are the people who understand the concepts of this lifestyle, who live it on a daily basis and understand that each individual in the dynamic is a person and has needs, wants, desires, and feelings.   Finding those people seem to be difficult I will agree on that but the fact is that we can vent all we want to about it and it really wont change much.  These are the people we are most likely searching for.  Best wishes to all in finding that one who is meant for you at least for the time being.

~meticulous~

(in reply to questionevery)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: MINDFUCK,Screwing with a submissive's mind/emotions - 7/14/2007 9:33:42 AM   
meticulousgirl


Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline 		On the contrary though to the actual topic.....

there are Dominants who like to play the good mindfuck games.....sometimes there is a purpose and other times there isn't one....it just depends on the Dominant and what His actual motives are.  Not all mindfucks are bad ones ya know.

~meticulous~

(in reply to meticulousgirl)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: MINDFUCK,Screwing with a submissive's mind/emotions - 7/14/2007 10:30:59 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		Just an FYI: This thread was started in 2005.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to meticulousgirl)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: MINDFUCK,Screwing with a submissive's mind/emotions - 7/14/2007 11:16:50 AM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		Just like a flogging scene or a bullwhip scene or a cutting scene a mindfuck scene can be used for good or ill intent.
The type of scene matters far far far less than the reason, the people's intent.
I can flog someone with good intent or bad, I can mindfuck someone with good intent or bad, beyond that there is the matter of skill/knowledge.
We all know folks who shouldn't be allowed to even hold a flogger yet based on their lack of skill/knowledge. (overstatement for effect)
It thus follows that there are also folks we know who shouldn't be allowed to hold someone's mind in their hands either based on that same lack of skill/knowledge.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: MINDFUCK,Screwing with a submissive's mind/emotions - 7/14/2007 9:28:51 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: questionevery


Doms hold submisives in contempt? Is love=hate? Emotional cruelty is not equal to caring. Punishment for a misdeed is one thing. This lifestyle seems like an excuse for meanspirited people to toy with someone else's spirit. Submissive is not = broken spirit or willing victim.




I hardly hold submissives in contempt.  A devoted, loving, dedicated, and obedient submissive is worth his/her weight in gold to ME.
I can be the most wonderful Dominant in the world, but what does that mean without my cherished submissive?
I don't ever seek someone to break their spirit.
I prefer someone with a WILLING spirit of service, love and devotion that can be trained for their proper place in life........being
MY submissive.


< Message edited by MzMia -- 7/14/2007 10:09:41 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to questionevery)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: MINDFUCK,Screwing with a submissive's mind/emotions - 7/14/2007 10:00:17 PM   
mydestiny2043


Posts: 714
Joined: 10/15/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		I for one would like to thank the op for getting other posters to respond and reafirm this newbees belief that there aren't just abusers but a lot of passionate and compassionate people just doing what makes them happy.And to the op may you find peace and happiness in your own journey one day as there is good and bad wherever that journey leads you hopefully you will learn from the bad so that you may find more good and that will make it more worth your while to continue .Just my 2 cents.

_____________________________

Fate determines who will come into your life...................
You decide who stays,and who goes !!!!

(in reply to questionevery)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: MINDFUCK,Screwing with a submissive's mind/emotions - 7/15/2007 8:45:25 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		If every man you meet is out to hurt you, then the only problem I see is your ability to choose healthy partners to create a healthy relationship.

Now if by mindfucks you are including emotional sadism, there are women who are fine by that. If you aren't then you need to state that upfront. Because if you tell a sadist that you're fine with everything then it isn't his fault if you deliberately left something off your hard limits list.

(in reply to bigdaddyjohn74)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: MINDFUCK,Screwing with a submissive's mind/emotions - 7/15/2007 10:02:44 AM   
imthatacheyouhav


Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

Just an FYI: This thread was started in 2005.

Celeste

LMAO....


_____________________________

*if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
**collared July 22 2007 by LordKen**

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: MINDFUCK,Screwing with a submissive's mind/emotions - 7/15/2007 11:06:31 AM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline 		Well ... as far as gross generalizations go ... the OP was certainly one of them.

Yes, mindfucks can go too far but they can also be erotic and fun. If someone uses the term "mindfuck" to tear you down, as all ~sorts~ of people do, bolster yourself up and make a definite decision to live with it or to live without it.

And my god, Katy, how right you are. BDSM is NOT magic.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to bigdaddyjohn74)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: MINDFUCK,Screwing with a submissive's mind/emotions - 7/15/2007 11:13:22 AM   
DrkJourney


Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: questionevery


Doms hold submisives in contempt? Is love=hate? Emotional cruelty is not equal to caring. Punishment for a misdeed is one thing. This lifestyle seems like an excuse for meanspirited people to toy with someone else's spirit. Submissive is not = broken spirit or willing victim.




hmmm...really?  Gee poor subs......

I guess they would never do anything mean spirited or "mindfuck" any one?

Like say the ones that claim to want what you want, and "toy" with you....until you let down that final wall and accept them....then "poof" they are gone with no word, no explaination what so ever.  Then you find out they have done this over and over again to other Dommes/Doms.   Which, by the way, I have yet to see what they get out of "playing" someone like that, but oh well...

oh please....this place is full of gamers, chalk it up as lesson learned and move on.

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....



(in reply to questionevery)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: MINDFUCK,Screwing with a submissive's mind/emotions - 7/15/2007 11:38:23 AM   
jdrake


Posts: 3
Joined: 7/2/2007
Status: offline 		I have read a good bit here, but am seldom moved to post, however I wanted to comment on abuse and mindfucks. 

Dominants meet needs.  Their own and their submissives.

I have a submissive who has a deep need and desire for me to hurt her emotionally, to fuck with her mind and abuse her.  She is aware that she may be a fucked up person.  She is in counseling.  I have been very frank with her about everything I have ever done to her.  It meets my need to abuse her, humiliate her, and degrade her. 

Whether or not she has a long term issue, whether or not she may be "better" sometime in the future, the fact remains that the deeper I have been able to hurt and degrade her, the more powerful her sexual release has been. 

Who precisely is anyone else to deny her that?  To say "your sexual release is wrong, so you should be denied the experience because it is 'better' for you if you are not allowed it."  That strikes me as bordering on medieval. 

Have I made her "worse?"  I do not know.  We have a standing agreement that I am her dominant, not her counselor, and that what I do is cause her to experience sexual excitement by hurting and abusing her, not try to solve her psychological problems by counseling her.  This arrangement has worked well. 

I feel very comfortable with her, because she is lucid, intelligent, and very self aware.  She is in fact a bit of a brat and capable of being abusive in her own right, which is one reason she values what I bring to her.  I see very little basis for anyone else to place judgments on this sort of thing.

(in reply to DrkJourney)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: MINDFUCK,Screwing with a submissive's mind/emotions - 7/16/2007 3:29:22 AM   
instynctive


Posts: 2726
Status: offline 		I love a good old fashioned mind fuck..  Matter of fact, I used one of my favorites Saturday night.. I had my girls hogtied and blindfolded, made a production out of lighting some candles (they got hot wax the night before), the slowly drizzeled ice water over them.. heh heh heh

I "waxed" b first.. and I *know* she was geared up for the heat and pain, but she howled louder than she had with the wax, which I *know* put t in a complete state of fear and apprehension.  One of them even whimpered "it burns.. it burns..." and here I thought a little ice water would help with the welts and swelling.. *sigh*




_____________________________


Lifestyle-friendly web hosting and design: http://kinkyqueer.net

(in reply to bigdaddyjohn74)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: MINDFUCK,Screwing with a submissive's mind/emotions - 7/16/2007 9:18:28 AM   
SirDominic


Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		Mind games are neither abusive or nonabusive. They are a tool, and like any tool, they are in and of themselves neutral. They can be used to harm or to heal. Mind games can be tremendous fun, screwing with the subs head until they don't know up from down. When it is coming from a loving, caring Dominant, it is never used to be cruel or abusive.

I understand there are people who feel mental manipulation of any kind is wrong. Which is, of course, their right. For me, it is the most pleasurable part about a D/s relationship. After all, how many times has one read, intrigue my mind and my body will follow. The truth is we are all dealing with mental manipulation All the Time; being bombarded with it all day long. Becoming consciously aware of this is one of the more empowering things anyone can do for themselves.

Namaste, Sir Dominic

_____________________________

You teach best what you have lived.

(in reply to CaringDom)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: MINDFUCK,Screwing with a submissive's mind/emotions - 7/16/2007 5:18:28 PM   
ProfJoe


Posts: 75
Joined: 6/7/2007
Status: offline 		Since the OP isn't really about a mind fuck, or about much of anything, I assume that's what the post is.

ProfJoe

(in reply to bigdaddyjohn74)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: MINDFUCK,Screwing with a submissive's mind/emotions - 7/16/2007 10:32:57 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: questionevery

Thanks EmeraldSlave2 for admitting that. I don't know why some people fail to accept that some people use bdsm like that. To all nasty replies why in the heck would I subject myself to ill treatment outside of a loving/caring relationship. A forum is a forum--a place for expression, discussion, and in this case to vent regarding the behaviour of some.

peace 2 those who deserve it


Some people also use Cupid.com to find people to abuse.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to questionevery)
Profile   Post #: 40
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