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Service Topping - 11/2/2007 7:56:36 AM   
Aubre


Posts: 478
Joined: 12/9/2004
Status: offline 		Here's a scenario for you:

Let's assume you are open to casual play. A person approaches you and asks you to "Service Top" them. You would tie, tease and torture but they would tell you how, when and what they wanted don, and they wanted no deviation from their wishes. They have a need they want filled, and have chosen to ask you to help with their request. To top it off, you find the person incredibly attractive. What would you do?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Service Topping - 11/2/2007 8:44:59 AM   
IamJustMe2C


Posts: 94
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline 		This person has a very spacific scene in there head and wants it played out. There is no differance here between what you are doing and what they would have done if they would have sought out a pro Dom and paid them to do it. It is not Topping from the bottom or anything like that. The fact that they are actractive is a bonus that is all. If you think you want a relationship with this person the aproach it when you are not playing and leave that part out of it so they still feel comfortabel coming to you to play. Or you might loose them for the ocasional scene. Who knows they might like you enough to come to you for a relationship. As a Dom you must have patience and reserve your feelings in all matters. This is something that they came to you with in a non sexual way so maybe you should keep you little head where it belongs and keep your self in your role as a Dom and let them come to you. A strong Dom might be a lonely one some times but he is greatley rewarded in the end.

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(in reply to Aubre)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Service Topping - 11/2/2007 8:47:19 AM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aubre

Here's a scenario for you:

Let's assume you are open to casual play. A person approaches you and asks you to "Service Top" them. You would tie, tease and torture but they would tell you how, when and what they wanted don, and they wanted no deviation from their wishes. They have a need they want filled, and have chosen to ask you to help with their request. To top it off, you find the person incredibly attractive. What would you do?

You go home.


...Duh, what the hell do you think you do?? lol

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to Aubre)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Service Topping - 11/2/2007 8:49:07 AM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		Personally the "No Deviation" clause would kill the deal for me.
So I would negotitate a bit and see if we could find something that would feed both of our souls and still meet the desires the person has. Fully Scripted scenes really are not something I can live with. And if that means I miss out because i am true to myself then so be it, the reward of living in integrity outweighs the short term benifit of a hot play partner.

Someone starts a negotiation with an opening offer, that does not mean that you cannot counter offer.

(in reply to IamJustMe2C)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Service Topping - 11/2/2007 9:28:56 AM   
HeavansKeeper


Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		In my adventures I've found many people who like the taboo side of sex. Reasons beyond control leave them with little time or interest to pursue it deeply. The comprimise is to dabble. Wanting to be a temporary TPE slave, where one (one = temporary TPE slave) is in complete control is a dabble. A compirimise.

The reason to want to be a bottom is too long to go into. Let's call it nature and nurture.
The reason to want to be in complete control as the bottom is more simple. There is a lack of trust. One can still get a rush, even if it's known that the "power over you" is fake.

So your question reads, to me:
"Someone said this to me: 'I'm intrigued by kinky sex. I want to be the bottom. I don't trust you and your judgment enough to leave the specifics up to you, but I want to feel completely dominated. Here is the list of stuff I like done to me in chronological order."

Some people would hop on that offer in 1/2 a second. Others would kindly refuse. Hypothetically, if I were single and bored, STD's didn't exist, and I had some sort of relationship with the person, I'd do it. The offer is very similar to "Do you want to eat my pussy?"

Eating pussy and the physical side of topping are very similar. They both require effort, skill, and the return for doing so is a smile on your partner's face. (unless you're a sadist, in which there is additional reward [but not regarding the cunilingus])

ANYWHO...

I have always found myself to be the kinky one of my friends. If they had a question in regards to sex, I usually got to answer it. I've been offered to do similar "introductions" to BDSM, but politely declined. Your call, Hotshot.

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... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

(in reply to Archer)
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RE: Service Topping - 11/2/2007 11:03:11 AM   
Aubre


Posts: 478
Joined: 12/9/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch


You go home.


...Duh, what the hell do you think you do?? lol


Yeah, that's what I think too, but I wondered about people who would be unwilling to yield any aspect of dominance even when presented with a hot willing participant, doing a lot of the things they probably would have done with them anyway but at the request of the bottom, not because its what they wanted to do.

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Service Topping - 11/2/2007 11:03:20 AM   
BruisedTonsils


Posts: 11
Joined: 10/22/2007
Status: offline 		From a sub's view, when you cannot find anyone to fit that bill, you would look to a "friend" who may do it. 

I can totally see me asking someone to do the exact same thing.

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Service Topping - 11/2/2007 12:56:37 PM   
probablyknowme


Posts: 1875
Joined: 9/19/2007
Status: offline 		I think I need clarification....a service Top is defined by doing a scene that a sub requests?

kat

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(in reply to BruisedTonsils)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Service Topping - 11/2/2007 1:21:17 PM   
DarkDaddyZ


Posts: 805
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

Personally the "No Deviation" clause would kill the deal for me.
So I would negotiate a bit and see if we could find something that would feed both of our souls and still meet the desires the person has. Fully Scripted scenes really are not something I can live with. And if that means I miss out because i am true to myself then so be it, the reward of living in integrity outweighs the short term benefit of a hot play partner.

Someone starts a negotiation with an opening offer, that does not mean that you cannot counter offer.

"Service Topping" unless it's for a community cause (fundraiser etc) is like buying a car. As Archer said you need the balance of negotiation.

I don't top just to top, I have to have a level of a connection and get MY needs met as much as the bottom is.

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(in reply to Archer)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Service Topping - 11/2/2007 4:40:00 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		I'd do everything my way or walk out leaving them tied to the bed. What can I say, I'm just not all the keen on taking orders.

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I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to Aubre)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Service Topping - 11/2/2007 4:46:39 PM   
Petronius


Posts: 289
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		It very much depends on what I'm interested in doing at the time. If their "no deviations" rule coincides with something I'm interested in then I have no problem with it. Otherwise we simply don't mesh.

Bttoms have a right to ask for exactly what they want; Tops are free to accept or reject it. No problem either side, either way.

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Service Topping - 11/2/2007 4:48:54 PM   
Damocles809


Posts: 532
Joined: 7/12/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aubre

To top it off, you find the person incredibly attractive. What would you do?


Probably find her less attractive. 

(in reply to Aubre)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Service Topping - 11/2/2007 6:10:08 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aubre

Here's a scenario for you:

Let's assume you are open to casual play. A person approaches you and asks you to "Service Top" them. You would tie, tease and torture but they would tell you how, when and what they wanted don, and they wanted no deviation from their wishes. They have a need they want filled, and have chosen to ask you to help with their request. To top it off, you find the person incredibly attractive. What would you do?


I'm fully game for service topping someone who knows what they're looking for and tells me... but the constant nit-picking and instructing every.single.step. that you describe would not be acceptable to me. 

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to Aubre)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Service Topping - 11/2/2007 6:14:51 PM   
wisteriaV


Posts: 438
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline 		Isn't that what the so called "Pros" get paid for?

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Every story has two sides , much like a coin and neither one is totally perfect.
If it doesn't float your boat, then don't get in the water~!

(in reply to RumpusParable)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Service Topping - 11/2/2007 6:52:17 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		That would depend entirely on whether what they wanted matched what I wanted.

And if I actually liked them.

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I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to Aubre)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Service Topping - 11/2/2007 10:33:23 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Refer them to one of the very excellent Pros in their local area. This is what these Ladies (usually) get paid to do...and do it well. Everyone is happy.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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(in reply to Aubre)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Service Topping - 11/3/2007 5:45:52 AM   
TheChauvinist


Posts: 76
Joined: 10/14/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aubre

Here's a scenario for you:

Let's assume you are open to casual play. A person approaches you and asks you to "Service Top" them. You would tie, tease and torture but they would tell you how, when and what they wanted don, and they wanted no deviation from their wishes. They have a need they want filled, and have chosen to ask you to help with their request. To top it off, you find the person incredibly attractive. What would you do?
Tell them to get a submissive/slave if they want someone to do only what they want, how they want it. I'm not Burger King.

(in reply to Aubre)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Service Topping - 11/3/2007 7:59:11 AM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wisteriaV

Isn't that what the so called "Pros" get paid for?


Not in my case.  Service topping to a fantasy, yes.  Dealing with a client that is so nitpicky that you hate being there, no.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to wisteriaV)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Service Topping - 11/3/2007 3:15:37 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		If it was a close friend, I'd consider it.  Otherwise, no thanks.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to RumpusParable)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Service Topping - 11/3/2007 4:14:16 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aubre

They have a need they want filled, and have chosen to ask you to help with their request. To top it off, you find the person incredibly attractive. What would you do?


Say "No Thanks"... and move on 

< Message edited by KnightofMists -- 11/3/2007 4:15:09 PM >

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Aubre)
Profile   Post #: 20
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