Am I The Only Frustrated Sub?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Am I The Only Frustrated Sub?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Am I The Only Frustrated Sub?

Page: [1] 2 3 4 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 11/2/2007 1:10:54 PM

RUthe14me80

Posts: 4
Joined: 10/3/2007
Status: offline

Do any other respectful subs (by that I mean those who actually read profiles and send well put together introduction letters to dommes) feel like it's just going nowhere? Tired of the no responses, or the short one word replies. Do dommes actually search for submissives, and are ther any out there that actually do it for fun? Wow, it seems everyone is in it for a buck these days. I know dommes have to put up with a lot of email crap, wankers, and the like, but jeeze...there are a few of us "good guys" out there. There, that felt better!

Post #: 1

RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 11/2/2007 1:17:39 PM

DarkDaddyZ

Posts: 805
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline

I'm glad it felt better. Venting usually does. Bottom line is this, if you are searching for a relationship, it takes time. One of the few things I liked about the Beauty Series was the beginning of the first book where the "knight" had to go through all that crap to get to her....that was hot to me.

I take relationships like that. Have a sword and cut through shit because at the end of the maze the possibilities are endless!

Z-

_____________________________

"Flirting is part of the job description." DJ Jesus (Lucy Daughter Of The Devil)

Vanilla Official Music Page http://www.myspace.com/djzulu

(in reply to RUthe14me80)

Post #: 2

RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 11/2/2007 1:28:05 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RUthe14me80

Do any other respectful subs (by that I mean those who actually read profiles and send well put together introduction letters to dommes) feel like it's just going nowhere? Tired of the no responses, or the short one word replies. Do dommes actually search for submissives, and are ther any out there that actually do it for fun? Wow, it seems everyone is in it for a buck these days. I know dommes have to put up with a lot of email crap, wankers, and the like, but jeeze...there are a few of us "good guys" out there. There, that felt better!

Yep. You are the only frustrated one out there.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to RUthe14me80)

Post #: 3

RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 11/2/2007 1:38:02 PM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

Perhaps the common denominator is *female* because the average fem/sub isn't big on replying to polite and sincere mail, either! Can't even write a one-liner or less....

This won't help you but my own solution was quite simple. I don't waste my time contacting fem/subs anymore; I confine myself to replying to the ones who contact me.

Domme or sub, all women get pounded with geek mail on these sites and they soon tire of it. It's not fair to those with honourable intentions, of course, but it is what it is.....

Focus.

(in reply to RUthe14me80)

Post #: 4

RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 11/2/2007 1:41:31 PM

xoxi

Posts: 1066
Status: offline

Just give up. Seriously.

My current relationship happened when I had pretty much given up on 'searching' - I met him on the forums here, sent him a friendly flirty 1 liner but honestly didn't expect anything to come of it besides a bit of conversation. I'm flying 12000 miles to meet him in 2 weeks.

Generally people are attracted to people who have a full, fulfilling life...so it makes sense that the minute you stop looking for someone and just focus on yourself people will be more drawn to you. So give up already! Trust me it's for the best

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 5

RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 11/2/2007 1:58:22 PM

PrettyOHDomme

Posts: 61
Joined: 8/26/2007
Status: offline

In my first two weeks of membership, I got over 200 e-mails.

It's slowed to about half a dozen a day now. I try to answer all my mail, but, honestly, it's tough to keep up.

I sympathize a ton, and I know how tough it is for submissive men out there. I'm sure several sweet, sincere submissives got lost in the deluge. That sucks, but it's also called life. If it's meant to happen, it will.

I agree with xoxi; the forums are a great place to make a connection. Hang in there.

Drop me an e-mail if you want to vent at a representative of the evil, uncommunicative Dommes.

_____________________________

-Miss Ellen

Vidi, vici, veni -- I saw, I conquered, I came.

We're all victims of victims.

(in reply to xoxi)

Post #: 6

RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 11/2/2007 2:26:48 PM

RUthe14me80

Posts: 4
Joined: 10/3/2007
Status: offline

Wow!!!!! Thanks IrishMist! I always knew I was one of a kind! lol....and xoxi...possibly the best advice anyone could give! Thanks!...and Focus, I agree..it is what it is! Thanks to all who replied and will probably continue to reply. David

(in reply to PrettyOHDomme)

Post #: 7

RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 11/2/2007 4:01:08 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

Yes i agree with xoxi...give up, let go for a while.
I did and out of the blue got a response from a guy on an altogether different site....he responded to a one liner I sent to him three months previously.
All he said in his profile was 'sesually experimental...as it wasn't a bdsm site.
He's turned out to be a perfectly sadistic dominant...........

(in reply to RUthe14me80)

Post #: 8

RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 11/2/2007 4:40:17 PM

kitttty

Posts: 494
Joined: 10/10/2007
Status: offline

What can you do? If I put any profile up as a single female I get dozens of responses- I dont have time to respond to all of them. When I was looking, I responded only to the letters that interest me.

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 9

RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 11/2/2007 4:59:46 PM

TNstepsout

Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline

I answer all emails I get that are within my states parameters and a few that aren't if they are from people just saying hello or commenting on a post or journal entry. I can't respond to all and there are many I don't want to encourage.

But, if I may be blunt (really it doesn't matter, I'm going to be anyway) your profile is a big turn off. You sound WAY too arrogant and full of yourself and that is not generally something Domme's look for in a sub male. You might want to work on it a little bit if you really are serious about finding a compatible partner.

(in reply to kitttty)

Post #: 10

RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 11/5/2007 12:36:25 AM

Belphagor

Posts: 8
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline

Two things:
1. It is foolish to rely as the internet as your only means to meet people. Go to clubs and bars appealing to this type of crowd and use this as a means to 'keep in touch' during the week and use it as a means to facilitate your friendship into a relationship.
2. Dommes I know do not even bother with profiles that dont have pictures, so perhaps the odd happy snap may help.

(in reply to TNstepsout)

Post #: 11

RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 11/5/2007 12:40:17 AM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

Unfortunately for you, when most people see the screen name "RUthe14me80," they're just not going to take it seriously. You can complain that that's unfair and unjust and whatever, but it's a fact of life and it isn't going to change anytime soon.

So choose a screen name that says something about you and is actually written in English.

(in reply to RUthe14me80)

Post #: 12

RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 11/5/2007 12:46:24 AM

CollegeConundrum

Posts: 322
Joined: 5/18/2005
Status: offline

When you read a profile and it says she doesn't want a doormat, be a doormat because she's lying.

When you read a profile and it says she wants a smart, extroverted, intelligent sub, be the dumbest pile of rocks you can be because she's lying.

When you read a profile and it says she wants a masochistic sub behind closed doors and a vanilla guy outside, well you get it, she's lying.

And for god's sakes, whatever you do, if you come across a profile of a girl you find astoundingly beautiful and amazingly eloquent, don't even bother because she won't even give you the time of day.

(in reply to Belphagor)

Post #: 13

RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 11/5/2007 1:19:40 AM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

Went to check your profile and you're not found ... I can only hope you have taken Lordandmaster's advice and changed it to something meaningful and in English! I still can't fathom the 80 bit ... if that's your age ... LOL!

I answer those who have obviously read My profile and fit My criteria, if I have time I politely answer others (eg those from overseas) and direct them to someone local and wish them luck!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to CollegeConundrum)

Post #: 14

RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 11/5/2007 1:53:46 AM

fit2pleaseu

Posts: 77
Joined: 10/26/2007
Status: offline

No you are not the only FRUSTRATED one out there!

(in reply to MaamJay)

Post #: 15

RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 11/5/2007 2:07:01 AM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
Status: offline

I can't be bothered with subs who email me an use text speak. r u n2 CBT?, etc. For gods sake, write to me as if I am a person, not a phone number. Your profile has gone, but maybe that was your problem?

By the way, we ALL get frustrated.

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.

(in reply to fit2pleaseu)

Post #: 16

RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 11/5/2007 8:16:38 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

I dissagree about the screen name. I have had several over the years and they all worked well. This one is just my name backwards. When I first started It took a couple of months before I got a reply from someone. I had shut my IM's down. My boss thought I was typing my work real fast. I was trying to keep up with the IM's from CM. If you want to improve your typing skills try typing in a dozen screens at once. Patience and answering post will help to get you known. Grins be careful of what you ask for.

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

Post #: 17

RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 11/5/2007 8:21:41 AM

manacub

Posts: 11
Joined: 10/11/2007
Status: offline

i agree with Lord and Master on the name issue. i get name crush and enjoy those who are creative with thier character representation.

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

Post #: 18

RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 11/5/2007 8:27:20 AM

slimcontroller

Posts: 46
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Venting usually does.

The mind Boggles ! Another old fart ?

Slimc

(in reply to RUthe14me80)

Post #: 19

RE: Am I The Only Frustrated Sub? - 11/5/2007 9:06:39 AM

TravWill

Posts: 13
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CollegeConundrum

When you read a profile and it says she doesn't want a doormat, be a doormat because she's lying.

When you read a profile and it says she wants a smart, extroverted, intelligent sub, be the dumbest pile of rocks you can be because she's lying.

When you read a profile and it says she wants a masochistic sub behind closed doors and a vanilla guy outside, well you get it, she's lying.

And for god's sakes, whatever you do, if you come across a profile of a girl you find astoundingly beautiful and amazingly eloquent, don't even bother because she won't even give you the time of day.

Ladies and gentlemen, I want you all to look at collegeconundrum...cause he is a real man. I feel the same way and act the same way you do man, women dont know what they want bro. Yo if I met you in person, Id buy you a drink my friend.

(in reply to CollegeConundrum)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 3 4 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Am I The Only Frustrated Sub?

Page: [1] 2 3 4 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094