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collaring ceremony - 11/2/2007 7:15:15 PM

southernhart

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How and where do you find someone to perform a collaring ceremony?

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RE: collaring ceremony - 11/2/2007 7:49:26 PM

Rover

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Anyone you want, any place you want. There are no BDSM churches or priests. No ordained ministers. No qualifications to conduct a ceremony. And no script to follow.

John

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Sri da Avabhas

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RE: collaring ceremony - 11/2/2007 10:31:59 PM

MasterFireMaam

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If you want to actually get married as part of the ceremony, you need a kink-friendly ordained person. If you need only someone to perform the collaring ritual, anyone kink-friendly will do. In either case, ask around your local community.

Master Fire

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(in reply to southernhart)

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RE: collaring ceremony - 11/3/2007 4:58:27 AM

DCroommate

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(This is ann, here today)
They are all as different as each couple is.

Suggestion -
Decide what kind of relationship you are heading for.. and what kind of connection you are looking for.. is this more spiritual, more permanent, more community BDSM active, more private,...

Then think of all the people you know who have some experience in that type. But don't limit yourself to your own circle of friends.. The Gay Leather community have tons of folks who have spiritual backgrounds and are community active. The Lesbian community also does. Look at the folks who present at the local events and clubs. Ask your friends who they know to expand your network.

For example.
When Sir collared me.. We wanted permanent, spiritual and community involvement. We asked a respected Gay leather Master, who is also a spiritual person (alternative church, not mainstreamed) to perform our ceremony. He met with us twice, went over our contact, suggested changes and added one clause, counseled us each separately. We then planned the ceremony at a community event (Camp Crucible, a 5 day camping event in PA). It was very formal and serious in setting, but so fun with all our friends there.

When Sir collared lorrie, it was private just the three of us. She has a temp contract right now, so it was in the back yard with just us there and Sir leading the collaring. When she gets a permanent collar it will be a bigger ceremony.

Don't discount asking folks online either.. someone on here who you have developed a relationship with, who you respect. Ask them if they could come and work with you on it.

~ann
Griffin's slavemate

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

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RE: collaring ceremony - 11/3/2007 5:05:37 AM

TheIslandofO

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if you are looking for a collaring ceremony that combines a wedding, my wife can legally perform a civil union in Florida.Contact us offlist

< Message edited by TheIslandofO -- 11/3/2007 5:57:56 AM >

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RE: collaring ceremony - 11/3/2007 12:22:09 PM

southernhart

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Thanks everyone! So if i asked a friend how would they know what to say and what to do?

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RE: collaring ceremony - 11/3/2007 2:34:25 PM

DCroommate

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there are hundreds of ceremonies online.. many are full of symbolisms and some are long and include fire and blood..

take time to think of what you are wanting and what you want to say.. spend some time talking about it. make a few notes and then work on your own wording.. Borrow from some you find but make it your own.

Often the format is kind of like a wedding format, where the leader say something about what the collar means, what the relationship will be set up as. Then maybe something about what the roles will be.. they can ask one party to say something to the other, give promises or declare their intentions, then the other one says something. They might then bless the collar in some way.. then the collar is put on and maybe locked.. a key might be given to the Master from the sub.. it might end with the leader saying something to them as a couple.

Other formats are more ritualistic. The sub is naked, and kneeling. The leader ask the sub if she knows what she is doing. Might read the contact to them, and when the sub acknowledges yes she is entering of her own free will they continue. A black rose is used to pick her finger and the blood is dripped on to a white rose as she gives her promise to the Master. A chain is passes though a flame and locked around her neck. Her hands might be tied behind her back and she bends to kiss his boots. Some are pretty detailed, ritualistic, dark and foreboding.

We had one in our backyard by the butterfly garden that was more of a keg party wedding feel, even looked like a wedding other then she kneeled.

Does this help?

(in reply to southernhart)

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RE: collaring ceremony - 11/3/2007 7:13:05 PM

southernhart

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Yes, so very much, thank You, Sir. My mind is now filled with ideas. WOW! Thanks!

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RE: collaring ceremony - 11/3/2007 7:42:14 PM

Vanatru

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Hey, Rover, wouldn't that be a hoot? Be ordained as a BDSM minister? I can see it all now...

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RE: collaring ceremony - 11/3/2007 8:54:58 PM

goodgirl08

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Haha someone should start a Church of BDSM...it could combine various rituals of penance from other religions without much effort at all.

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RE: collaring ceremony - 11/4/2007 8:33:53 AM

brianne4U

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That's actually a wonderful idea. Only i wouldn't call it a church. i would call it a temple. since our bodies are our temples.

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RE: collaring ceremony - 11/4/2007 2:22:15 PM

SirEbonyPhoenix

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You know, as I read this topic, I thought of doing something like this for some of my lifestyle freinds, but I'mdebating as to whether or not they would want to do it in a public or private setting. Good topic, btw! GO COLTS!!!!!!!!

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RE: collaring ceremony - 11/6/2007 7:14:53 AM

southernhart

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i would join. i think it's a magnificent idea.

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RE: collaring ceremony - 11/6/2007 9:11:11 AM

Leonardo

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Some states authorize Notaries Public to administer oaths and affirmations, which would include a collaring ceremony... the legal marriage being the ultimate collaring.

Since 1984, I have married thousands of people, and of such, I would estimate that collaring and roses ceremonies may have comprised somewhere around 100 or less.

However, in the interest of Caveat Emptor, I would highly recommend that the parties wishing to set up a legal, officialized collaring, be it a "contractual living arrangement", or an actual wedding ceremony, think about it and undergo pre-marital (or as I have called it in the past, "pre-collaring" counseling), realizing that a contractual living arrangement may be perfected by all parties to the contract agreeing on mutual acquiescence, settlement, or recission, but a marital contract requires compliance with divorce statutes and procedures in the person's State. It is therefore advisable that you seek the advice of a licensed attorney in your state prior to commencement of any type of marital ceremony, since a formal collaring may actually be viewed and argued as being an actual marriage ceremony in statutory and/or common law.

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