RE: Your profile and what you leave out of it intentionally (Full Version)

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laurell3 -> RE: Your profile and what you leave out of it intentionally (11/3/2007 11:28:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RealityLicks

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Same here, I recently had someone contact me that had the age listed as 99, when I inquired politely why, he got defensive and said he didn't want to be judged. 



OK, OK. If you must know I'm 116 now can we meet for coffee or not, young lady?

edited for a typo - sorry but I'm getting on...


(hops on a plane to London) If someone at 116 can really play...I want to see that, it gives me hope for my future! [8D]



DrkJourney -> RE: Your profile and what you leave out of it intentionally (11/3/2007 11:29:21 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: youngsubgeoff

The biggest thing I leave out of my profile is that Im a FORMER cocain addict. Ive been clean for almost 2 years now, but that doesnt keep people from judging me. They dont seem to understand, that Im not that person anymore, and Im never going back down that road.


to me this is different from questions like age or marital status.   For me there are different levels of information and this would fall under another level. 

This is one of those topics discussed only after you feel you may have a connection with someone.  It would be good then to let them know so that they could make an informative decision for themselves.  Not to judge you, but they may have a background where they are not comfortable with it and need to pull away...best to know that up front.  Then others, if approached honestly about it, which I would think to be the majority, wouldn't have a problem with it at all.   I don't know of any one that has a squeaky clean past.



Kirren -> RE: Your profile and what you leave out of it intentionally (11/3/2007 11:32:19 AM)

I dont put anything about My kids on My profile. I do this to protect the psychos that want to ask Me about what My daughter looks like, or what age the kids are...There would be a rise in the death rate in the US if I kept that on there.

I also do not list My marital status. I do not do this because My Husband also uses this site, and many will get to know Me, ask about Him in an attempt to come between us. I am extraordinarily protective of My family life and the people with in it.

I do tell people that I am married and that My Husband is a Dom, if I feel it is relevant to the situation.

But thats just Me.



PairOfDimes -> RE: Your profile and what you leave out of it intentionally (11/3/2007 11:47:27 AM)

Yes, of course it's acceptable for me to put in or to leave out what I like in my profile. It's acceptable for you to do so, too, and I hope we're both carefully considering what to put in and how to arrange the information. It is, after all, an act of marketing. That's not to say that I lie, it's

Is it preferable to be clearer? Typically, yes, clarity is a lovely thing.

If you're interested in someone, but some quality (age, weight, race, whatever) might be a deal breaker, and they haven't disclosed it, just ask. That's what I do.



RealityLicks -> RE: Your profile and what you leave out of it intentionally (11/3/2007 11:58:56 AM)

Thanks laurell. Now if only I could remember what we were talking about...



laurell3 -> RE: Your profile and what you leave out of it intentionally (11/3/2007 12:00:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RealityLicks

Thanks laurell. Now if only I could remember what we were talking about...


I can see how this might be frustrating although maybe advantageous for me [8D]



RealityLicks -> RE: Your profile and what you leave out of it intentionally (11/3/2007 12:03:08 PM)

And do remember, I'm a virgin.



laurell3 -> RE: Your profile and what you leave out of it intentionally (11/3/2007 12:04:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RealityLicks

And do remember, I'm a virgin.


I'm going to presume that's the senility speaking.....



RealityLicks -> RE: Your profile and what you leave out of it intentionally (11/3/2007 12:04:55 PM)

Not at all. Oh, I've had offers but I'm very fussy.



laurell3 -> RE: Your profile and what you leave out of it intentionally (11/3/2007 12:06:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RealityLicks

Not at all. Oh, I've had offers but I'm very fussy.


Ok well I've never met a unicorn....(starts looking for flight schedules)...



RealityLicks -> RE: Your profile and what you leave out of it intentionally (11/3/2007 12:12:54 PM)

Madame, pas devants les enfants.



TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Your profile and what you leave out of it intentionally (11/3/2007 12:14:14 PM)

I look upon the profile as a sort of advertisement (as many do)..it is your profile so hence ,you have the choice of what is put into it..sometimes imformation is either intentionally or even unintentionally left out..but who knows what sort of information is informative enough ,for each particular person ,perusing that profile? Everyone has certain criteria that is either desireable or undesirable to them when they seek a mate, but to have each and every criteria listed that individuals require cannot be placed upon a simple profile, other wise you may have to require a space for your profile the size of a book.Profiles to me touch on the extreme basics and expand when you get to the more interpersonal beginnings..And frankly, when you say fill out a resume, would you try to hit on the more positive aspects of you,rather than the perceived negative ones?...Tempting



RealityLicks -> RE: Your profile and what you leave out of it intentionally (11/3/2007 12:18:44 PM)

I'll get my coat.



Level -> RE: Your profile and what you leave out of it intentionally (11/3/2007 12:22:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Is it preferrable to be upfront and avoid those that might judge one for it?  If it is acceptable for you, at what point do you think one should reveal these things? 


Absolutely, laurell.



chickpea -> RE: Your profile and what you leave out of it intentionally (11/3/2007 12:22:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

My question is this:
Is it acceptable for you to have others leave their age, weight, height, race, marital status, etc. (assuming these things are available to be filled in on this or other sites) out of their profile in an effort to keep from being judged by that attribute/quality or status?  Is it preferrable to be upfront and avoid those that might judge one for it?  If it is acceptable for you, at what point do you think one should reveal these things?  Are there other things you have left out intentionally but later disclosed and why?


I leave out personal stuff that can be used to identify me because I'm a female and this is online.  For me this is just a safety issue.  As far as disclosing other things that will be hard to identify me, I have no problem.  I will say anything and everything.  I don't know you and you don't know me.  Only thing I see is that there is a dialogue where we share the common kink interest.  I will only leave out boring inane details of my life, like what I did at 3:00pm yesterday afternoon...oops I dropped my pen, picked it up, and dusted off the dirt got on it when it touched the ground...[image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m7.gif[/image]  kinda useless to include on a profile.



laurell3 -> RE: Your profile and what you leave out of it intentionally (11/3/2007 12:33:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RealityLicks

Madame, pas devants les enfants.


yesh make me remember high school french....is this not in front of the kids?



Maya2001 -> RE: Your profile and what you leave out of it intentionally (11/3/2007 12:35:12 PM)

I checked off the personal basics , but did very little write about myself or checking off interests  partly as I was feeling lazy at the time of registering and also as I was not actively search then,  my profile on alt is more complete/detailed.  If someone contacts me I like to see at least some of the basics  for example if they are married, what they are searching for,  age where they live , "somewhere Canada"   covers a bit too much territory [:)]     if they don't include in the profile at least if they are expressing an interest in me then I would like to see in the initial email , I don't really enjoy dragging that info out of them

I do agree that sometimes putting info in ones profile may tend  to have some reject you  without getting a chance to talk, LOL which was true of my former dom  luckily I  use the block feature sparingly,  his persistence and adding more info/explanation  in his emails and requesting chats finally had me sit up and take notice of him.

I also note that huge percent don't bother to read my profile before emailing, they make the decision to email based solely on a picture





Raechard -> RE: Your profile and what you leave out of it intentionally (11/3/2007 12:37:53 PM)

The profile is a starting point are we saying you should include the most obscure details of your life because someone might get upset that you eat meat? Conversation has to play a part at some point.



laurell3 -> RE: Your profile and what you leave out of it intentionally (11/3/2007 12:43:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Raechard

The profile is a starting point are we saying you should include the most obscure details of your life because someone might get upset that you eat meat? Conversation has to play a part at some point.


Obviously not, but should one include the basic details despite the fact it may not appeal to all?  That is the question.



LotusSong -> RE: Your profile and what you leave out of it intentionally (11/3/2007 12:45:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

My question is this:
Is it acceptable for you to have others leave their age, weight, height, race, marital status, etc. (assuming these things are available to be filled in on this or other sites) out of their profile in an effort to keep from being judged by that attribute/quality or status?  Is it preferrable to be upfront and avoid those that might judge one for it?  If it is acceptable for you, at what point do you think one should reveal these things?  Are there other things you have left out intentionally but later disclosed and why?


If I were looking to hookup here, then I would put all those specs there, but since I'm not, I just leave it off. 



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