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RE: if you are queer.. - 11/4/2007 7:09:49 AM

Raechard

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I’ve been here long enough to know your posts follow a certain trend so I won’t be falling for it

Oooo can I be you for a day, please, please your life has so much fun in it.

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RE: if you are queer.. - 11/4/2007 7:13:32 AM

miladyh

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty

Do you identify primarily as non-vanilla/kinky etc or do you primarily identify yourself by sexual orientation?

I guess I am called bisexual. It's not that I give everyone a chance, males and females- my relationships with women operate through a certain dynamic and fill certain needs of mine while my relationships with men are of a different flavor.

I have some involvement with the queer scene but really see my sexuality as kinky. I think I feel my sexuality has more in common with straight or gay kinky people over bisexual women.

How do others feel?

I identify myself as a submissive for the purpose of this site.

When I begin to talk to perspective Dominants/Masters through conversation is when it is brought to the light that I do have slave tendencies when with the right person or that I am bi-sexual . I have in the past used the term vanilla to identify a relationship I was in or persons I have been with.

As far as others attacking the use of terminology please just remember what may not be acceptable to use in one society may be perfectly normal in another. Sheesh and people claim to be open-minded.

A mind is like a parachute it only works when open.

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RE: if you are queer.. - 11/4/2007 7:26:04 AM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Raechard

I’ve been here long enough to know your posts follow a certain trend so I won’t be falling for it

Oooo can I be you for a day, please, please your life has so much fun in it.

Fall for what dear boy? In that light, I believe you lack the proper equipment to be me for a moment, let alone an entire day.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Post #: 23

RE: if you are queer.. - 11/4/2007 7:28:25 AM

applecandy

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Heh. I'm going to try and avoid the controversy here and simply answer.

I do identify myself as poly queer - I'm flexible. *grin* Without regard to the community's stance on it, it's the term that seems to apply to me best.

As far as the kink thing goes....I don't 'identify' myself by it, but it is a pretty blatant part of me. It's a facet of my personality that I'm open and willing to share, but don't really put out right at a first meeting. It sometimes takes a little while for me to feel comfortable sharing that information - not for shame, but for the hassle of dealing with people that don't understand and feel no need to change their misconceptions. I'd rather weed out the open-minded and tell THEM than identify.

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Post #: 24

RE: if you are queer.. - 11/4/2007 7:50:18 AM

Raechard

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
I believe you lack the proper equipment to be me for a moment, let alone an entire day.

You are right; I’ve been asking god to install that bitter old woman sub routine in my brain but (s)he hasn’t got around to it yet it seems.

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RE: if you are queer.. - 11/4/2007 7:55:29 AM

JackM1

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whats wrong with "queer"? admitedly, i only use it to throw off the stupid straight students and administraitors at my school off, but i also think its a more fun word that "homosexual"...ugh..makes it sound so sterile...besides...everyone that i know is rather "queer" in every sense of the word. why not use it?

now that we're on the subject, i recomend the song "queer" by garbage...

to answer the OP, since most people dont know that im into the scene, i tend to identify more with being "queer" but generally i dont identify with being either. primarily, im a nursing student, next id say i identify with being a russian jew, then queer would be in there and lastly i would identify with the scene. you only ask for what you identify with between scene and sexuality, but i think most people would probably identify with something very much so out of their vanilla lives first. even my gay friends prefer to think of themselves as their major or job first, because sexuality simply isnt such an important thing anymore.

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RE: if you are queer.. - 11/4/2007 8:10:49 AM

Drifa

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Raechard
You are right; I’ve been asking god to install that bitter old woman sub routine in my brain but (s)he hasn’t got around to it yet it seems.

I think 45 isn't old, lol.

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RE: if you are queer.. - 11/4/2007 8:16:58 AM

Squeakers

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For me I'd have to say by my kink. Queer to me--means strange and has never meant sexual orientation. So yes, I'm quite queer (aka strange) to the 'nilla folks. I do not identify as anything other than hetrosexual so I am not sure if other's would fine the word 'queer' an insult or not however, to me---since queer means strange, and since I do not feel homosexuality strange, I could see where it would be offensive.

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RE: if you are queer.. - 11/4/2007 8:41:16 AM

Raechard

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Drifa
I think 45 isn't old, lol.

True it isn’t old and I'm sorry I said it, it was only said for effect.

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RE: if you are queer.. - 11/4/2007 8:42:46 AM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty

Do you identify primarily as non-vanilla/kinky etc or do you primarily identify yourself by sexual orientation?

I guess I am called bisexual. It's not that I give everyone a chance, males and females- my relationships with women operate through a certain dynamic and fill certain needs of mine while my relationships with men are of a different flavor.

I have some involvement with the queer scene but really see my sexuality as kinky. I think I feel my sexuality has more in common with straight or gay kinky people over bisexual women.

How do others feel?

I feel pretty much the same way.

Dominant sadist is how I identify sexual.

Secondarily I might be het but it's difficult to tell because I have gotten turned on by submissive I just never take an extra look or think "she's hot" like I do with guys outside of a kink dynamic. My female submissives I've had in the past turned into good friends but nothing more so I don't sexual experience with my own sex as I do with males.

So if pressed I'd say I'm kinky bisexual because the kink is more important than the gender or sex of the person.

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RE: if you are queer.. - 11/4/2007 8:48:28 AM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Raechard

quote:

ORIGINAL: Drifa
I think 45 isn't old, lol.

True it isn’t old and I'm sorry I said it, it was only said for effect.

Not sure what the desired effect was........but I certainly enjoyed it. It showed exactly what you are made of.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Post #: 31

RE: if you are queer.. - 11/4/2007 8:51:00 AM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty

How do others feel?

My sexuality is my own. That means I like women and men, I like kink, I like being dominanted, etc. I don't see these as conflicting or one being stronger than the other. The orientation simply defines what genders I enjoy doing the other sexual things with.

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RE: if you are queer.. - 11/4/2007 8:57:34 AM

Raechard

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Squeakers
For me I'd have to say by my kink. Queer to me--means strange and has never meant sexual orientation. So yes, I'm quite queer (aka strange) to the 'nilla folks. I do not identify as anything other than hetrosexual so I am not sure if other's would fine the word 'queer' an insult or not however, to me---since queer means strange, and since I do not feel homosexuality strange, I could see where it would be offensive.

Yes queer means strange and gay means happy. My question as mentioned previously is should heterosexuals be getting up in arms because it’s implied they are all sad? All words have a history of meaning and some people have embraced labels placed upon them and some have rejected them and called them offensive. One gay person doesn’t speak for every gay person therefore unless they all sit down and discuss which words are offensive (a rather boring exercise) and stop using the word queer as a term of endearment themselves how is anyone else to know what will cause offense? It’s a bit like the n word that black rappers use. A word is either wrong or right and no one gets a special license to use it.

I’d never use queer to describe a gay person myself but I find the ridiculousness of mainly straight people attacking a bisexual for how she describes herself as amusing. Funny how things change and yet they always stay the same.

< Message edited by Raechard -- 11/4/2007 9:00:50 AM >

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RE: if you are queer.. - 11/4/2007 9:03:32 AM

agirl

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Kinky is only kinky in frames of reference and there are so many of those that it's never been possible for me to determine.

Is fucking a melon vanilla or kinky?

Is there such a thing as fruitist?.....

< Message edited by agirl -- 11/4/2007 9:16:42 AM >

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RE: if you are queer.. - 11/4/2007 9:05:43 AM

LaTigresse

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Now to seriously answer the initial question of the thread. I've been thinking about it as I've bantered with the boy and done a few other things.

If you take the whole of my ancient 45 years and had to put a label on me based upon the life experience of those 45 years........... you would probably call me a mildly kinky bi or pansexual woman.

However, as much as I try to avoid slapping a label on myself I think it is somewhat necessary especially in this sort of venue.

I do not WANT any sort of sexual attention from men. Of any type. I don't hate them, there are, in fact, a few I love very much. BUT, I am at a point in my life that I have no interest in them sexually. I certainly cannot figure one into any sort of kink or M/s relationship. M/s always seems to have some sort of sexual under current, at least in my happy little world. That means, no men. So, to define myself as a lesbian makes sense.

Now, in my daily life. None of that has much impact. There are many other labels that will come first and more frequently. But here, no one cares about those.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to kitttty)

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Post #: 35

RE: if you are queer.. - 11/4/2007 9:16:23 AM

RumpusParable

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty

Do you identify primarily as non-vanilla/kinky etc or do you primarily identify yourself by sexual orientation?

I guess I am called bisexual. It's not that I give everyone a chance, males and females- my relationships with women operate through a certain dynamic and fill certain needs of mine while my relationships with men are of a different flavor.

I have some involvement with the queer scene but really see my sexuality as kinky. I think I feel my sexuality has more in common with straight or gay kinky people over bisexual women.

How do others feel?

I don't primarily identify with either. Heck, I don't identify myslef by such things at all.

It's like identifying as someone who likes rollercoasters or slaty snacks or oil painting... They just aren't definers or self-identifications... they're just normal, everyday boring (or not) life.

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Post #: 36

RE: if you are queer.. - 11/4/2007 9:17:16 AM

Raechard

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
It showed exactly what you are made of.

Do enlighten me please.

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RE: if you are queer.. - 11/4/2007 9:20:12 AM

Bloodrose88

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Me?
I am a masochistic, poly-curious, pansexual, cuddle-obsessed female. Thats how I define my sexuality. I can define my sexual orientation as pansexual, which I suppose is a form of queer, but when it comes to my sexuality in general, I tend to transcend that label.

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Post #: 38

RE: if you are queer.. - 11/4/2007 9:45:24 AM

MzMia

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What amuses me the most about our little "kittty", is how
she easily pushes so many people's buttons.

I am not laughing at her---> I am laughing at all the people that continue
to be upset over what she says.

"She" may not be politically correct, but then many here are not politically correct.
Don't let her push your buttons, please stop drinking the damn Koolaide.

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Post #: 39

RE: if you are queer.. - 11/4/2007 10:27:59 AM

dcnovice

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quote:

A word is either wrong or right and no one gets a special license to use it.

Is it really that simple, though? To me, the context in which a word is used (who says it, to whom, and how) seems enormously important.

Someone might love being called "honey" by a spouse, for instance, but deeply resent a boss who used the same term. Or take the humorous labels CM puts under our screen names. In this context, I take being called "deranged" an ironic badge of honor. I might feel quite differently if I were thus described elsewhere.

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