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RE: growing old together - 4/27/2008 6:12:14 AM   
DominantJenny


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Joined: 4/6/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: softandshy

With being compatible, I'm not just talking about liking the same things.  Having the same taste in music and movies isn't enough to sustain an intimate relationship.  There's more to it... it's sharing the same principles, the same outlook, the same philosophy and approach to life.  



VERY well said! I wanted to add that, actually, having the same taste in music and movies is, in fact, wholly unnecessary (if handy) when the really important stuff is shared.

(in reply to TreasureKY)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: growing old together - 4/27/2008 6:16:03 AM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DominantJenny

quote:

ORIGINAL: softandshy

With being compatible, I'm not just talking about liking the same things.  Having the same taste in music and movies isn't enough to sustain an intimate relationship.  There's more to it... it's sharing the same principles, the same outlook, the same philosophy and approach to life.  



VERY well said! I wanted to add that, actually, having the same taste in music and movies is, in fact, wholly unnecessary (if handy) when the really important stuff is shared.


Thank you... though I'm not sure how you managed to have what I said quoted by the OP. 

(in reply to DominantJenny)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: growing old together - 4/27/2008 6:21:08 AM   
DominantJenny


Posts: 645
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline 		*laugh* Me, either! Oops!

(in reply to TreasureKY)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: growing old together - 4/27/2008 6:25:36 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		growing old together can be realistic as long as you two stay committed to the relationship.  though we're still "young" in our relationship, we're committed to each other until the end.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

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Profile   Post #: 44
RE: LEAP OF FAITH - 4/27/2008 1:51:35 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		This thread is 3 years old and bumped by this question - just so ya'll know. :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelindoll72

"IF YOURE NOT LIVING ON THE EDGE YOURE TAKING UP TOO MUCH ROOM"

                i am catching a flight on friday out of burbank california and flying to florida where i will meet for the first time my QUEEN and start my new life as a slave to my QUEEN and my MASTER. I  was just wondering if anyone else has ever taken this leap of faith and had good things come from it? I feel in my heart that i will learn alot from them and finally have a sense of belonging that i never had even with my own family. my QUEEN and MASTER are strict but awesome people


Porcelin,

The odds of any relationship making it now days isn't all that good and your chances are less than that because you don't know if you actually have any face to face chemistry. That said, I wish you luck because it does work on rare occasions.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to porcelindoll72)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: LEAP OF FAITH - 4/27/2008 2:55:28 PM   
impossiblesub


Posts: 150
Joined: 4/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

The odds of any relationship making it now days isn't all that good and your chances are less than that because you don't know if you actually have any face to face chemistry. That said, I wish you luck because it does work on rare occasions.



This is not true at all. People have been in permanent relationships with persons they had no actual "chemistry" with for as long as civilization has existed. The main factor to consider is the importance both persons place upon physical attractiveness.

< Message edited by impossiblesub -- 4/27/2008 3:08:36 PM >

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: LEAP OF FAITH - 4/27/2008 3:56:37 PM   
Poetryinpain


Posts: 341
Joined: 3/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: impossiblesub

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

The odds of any relationship making it now days isn't all that good and your chances are less than that because you don't know if you actually have any face to face chemistry. That said, I wish you luck because it does work on rare occasions.



This is not true at all. People have been in permanent relationships with persons they had no actual "chemistry" with for as long as civilization has existed. The main factor to consider is the importance both persons place upon physical attractiveness.


I'm reminded of the song from Fiddler on the Roof, where Tevye asks Golde, "Do you love me?" She outlines all the things they've been through and all the things she's done for him for 25 years and then says, "If that's not love, what is?" He then says, "So you love me." She answers, "I suppose I do." And he contentedly says, "And I suppose I love you, too."

They'd been married sight unseen, brought together by a matchmaker. Fiction, yes, but most fiction has basis in fact.

pip, humming the song

_____________________________

There is none so blind as he who will not see.

(in reply to impossiblesub)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: LEAP OF FAITH - 4/27/2008 5:24:04 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: impossiblesub

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

The odds of any relationship making it now days isn't all that good and your chances are less than that because you don't know if you actually have any face to face chemistry. That said, I wish you luck because it does work on rare occasions.



This is not true at all. People have been in permanent relationships with persons they had no actual "chemistry" with for as long as civilization has existed. The main factor to consider is the importance both persons place upon physical attractiveness.


Yes, I thought about past history which is why I qualified my statement with 'now days'. In past times, people often didn't have the choice of whether or not to remain in a situation but I do believe that was mostly in the case of state marriages to strengthen alliances. Now days, people are, generally, not obligated to stay in situations which are not advantageous to them or where no chemistry is present. As such, I stand by my statement and believe it to be true.

Celeste



_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to impossiblesub)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: LEAP OF FAITH - 4/27/2008 5:31:31 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Poetryinpain


They'd been married sight unseen, brought together by a matchmaker. Fiction, yes, but most fiction has basis in fact.

pip, humming the song


Like IS, you are speaking of a time period in which society held different standards. I don't believe it is applicable to 21st century mores and attitudes.

Celeste

edited to cut down on excessive quoting

< Message edited by BitaTruble -- 4/27/2008 5:32:17 PM >

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Poetryinpain)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: LEAP OF FAITH - 4/27/2008 5:32:09 PM   
impossiblesub


Posts: 150
Joined: 4/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

Yes, I thought about past history which is why I qualified my statement with 'now days'. In past times, people often didn't have the choice of whether or not to remain in a situation but I do believe that was mostly in the case of state marriages to strengthen alliances. Now days, people are, generally, not obligated to stay in situations which are not advantageous to them or where no chemistry is present. As such, I stand by my statement and believe it to be true.



People can always make a choice to stay regardless of any lack of obligation. If chemistry is not the most important thing to both partners then it is irrevelant. You have a good point, but, it is not entirely correct. Any part of a relationship is only as important as the importance You place upon it. Different people value different things.

< Message edited by impossiblesub -- 4/27/2008 5:49:08 PM >

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: LEAP OF FAITH - 4/27/2008 5:48:57 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: impossiblesub

People can always make a choice to stay regardless of any lack of obligation. If chemistry is not important to both partners then it is irrevelant. You have a good point, but, it is not entirely correct. Any part of a relationship is only as important as the importance you place upon it. Different people value different things more than others.


Porcelin, spoke of her sense of belonging and what she believes to be true in her heart. That sounds like chemistry to me, and it sounds like it's important to her but I will concede I could be wrong. I simply pointed out to her that what she (and those to whom she is traveling) feels online may not be the same as what happens when it is face to face. She's taking a leap of faith that it will be the same. I hope she right which is why I wished her good luck. I think it's rare, but have already acknowledged that it's possible. I would love for her to come back five years from now and talk in glowing terms of it being the best thing that ever happened to her.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to impossiblesub)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: LEAP OF FAITH - 4/27/2008 5:50:19 PM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		I cut it out because of length, but I started to say in my original comment that sometimes staying isn't what takes the most effort.  I was with my ex for 22 years... it wasn't good, it wasn't bad, it just was.  I could have stayed married to him, and with some societal and familial pressure, I might have.  As it was, the real effort was in leaving; not because I was happy, but because it was what I was used to.

I was lucky in that I wasn't dependent upon him and I didn't have to worry about my children... a lot of women feel trapped because of fear.   Fear of having to make it on their own, fear of taking sole responsibility for children, fear of making a change, fear of being alone.  In the face of that fear, sometimes lack of chemistry doesn't mean so much.

Yes, it is much easier these days for those who have the will to end a long marriage in favor of happiness, but lack of chemistry is often sacrificed in the name of comfort and the status quo.

lol... But that isn't really what Bita is talking about, anyway. 


< Message edited by TreasureKY -- 4/27/2008 5:52:15 PM >

(in reply to impossiblesub)
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RE: LEAP OF FAITH - 4/27/2008 6:01:59 PM   
impossiblesub


Posts: 150
Joined: 4/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

Porcelin, spoke of her sense of belonging and what she believes to be true in her heart. That sounds like chemistry to me, and it sounds like it's important to her but I will concede I could be wrong. I simply pointed out to her that what she (and those to whom she is traveling) feels online may not be the same as what happens when it is face to face. She's taking a leap of faith that it will be the same. I hope she right which is why I wished her good luck. I think it's rare, but have already acknowledged that it's possible. I would love for her to come back five years from now and talk in glowing terms of it being the best thing that ever happened to her.

Celeste


Ok. Perhaps I misinterpreted your meaning or perhaps you did not word it precisely enough. Either way - no matter - a simple misunderstanding. I am just pointing out that it is the values of the people who are involved which are of most importance and not the values of society today or the importance others assign to these values.

< Message edited by impossiblesub -- 4/27/2008 6:03:43 PM >

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: growing old together - 4/27/2008 10:36:30 PM   
BoundDown


Posts: 76
Joined: 11/25/2007
Status: offline 		Treasure you took the words right out of my mouth. It really seems very simple when your partner is also your best friend, and there is not much to negiotiate when you both want the same things ultimetly. It gets even easier when once you both agree what you want or need, you know whos in control of what lol
I could never have another friend to associate with outside of my house and I would be ok with that. (In a last 2 people on earth setting, not reclusive hermit way)

But with out all the introspection prior to our meeting 4 years ago, this would never have been possible.

(in reply to TreasureKY)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: growing old together - 4/27/2008 11:13:47 PM   
MadameXTC


Posts: 96
Joined: 9/30/2004
Status: offline 		I agree it is similar to any vanilla relationship. People make it want they want. My Dominant and I will have been together for 4 years in October. This is the longest D/s relationship I have been involved in. My first Dominant and I were together a whole 6 months.. The second one about a year. I think its a matter of finding the person who completes you and who you can share everything with. Communication and respect are the two biggest things in a relationship.If you can share everything with your partner it is so much more fullfilling. We are hoping to get married soon and are looking forward to growing old together. I dont see anything changing with that anytime soon. I feel complete and happy and I can only hope that he feels the same.

_____________________________

"Dominance is best viewed through a submissive's actions"

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: growing old together - 4/27/2008 11:29:13 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		A slightly "different" song came to mind when I read this one.
 
It wasn't by the beatles............
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NOZH0y7VxE

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to softandshy)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: growing old together - 4/28/2008 9:46:49 AM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		~FR~

I honestly hope the relationship i'm in now will be the one that lasts till death. Sir says he plans to keep be for atleast 50 years so the possibility looks good lol

I've never entered into a relationship thinking or expecting it to end early but sometimes it happens. It helps now that I'm in a actual D/s relationship rather then trying to make a nilla partner into something i wanted and needed. Talk about unfair to my past relationships, totally understand why the first two only lasted between 5 - 7 years

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

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Profile   Post #: 57
RE: growing old together - 4/28/2008 11:12:46 AM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings softandshy,

i have been in two d/s relationships; one a year long and the current one two and a half years and counting :) i am hoping for many decades more; my master, who's much older than me, is always making comments about how he's going to croak sometime soon, though. but he's stuck with me for awhile longer, anyway ;)

i believe really strongly in long-term d/s relationships. since i've become involved in bdsm, i have become somewhat less of a hopeless romantic monogamist obsessed with relationships that last forever...but if i am close enough to someone to be in a long-term d/s relationship with them, that usually means that there is a level of love and trust there that makes me want to grow old with them. well, he's already old, so he'll stay gray and i'll just get wiser ;) but we've learned that it works even when we're feeling too creaky (i'm an 80 year old trapped in a 20 year old's body, medically speaking) or when we absolutely can't stand the idea of sex or spankings ;) we do crossword puzzles. the d/s is much bigger than just whether or not we are in the bedroom or the immediate attraction is there.

i think it's definitely realistic, just as much so in any vanilla relationship. i have found when i was briefly seeking a submissive myself that many of them expected things to be play only and transient, but maybe that's because the love/romance part wasn't such a present or expected thing in that case.

respectfully,
annabelle.


_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to softandshy)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: growing old together - 4/29/2008 6:17:50 AM   
lubegirl


Posts: 59
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline 		When I am with my MASTER time flies and my life is just so complete, I need his direction, pleasure and discipline.
Of all the relationships I have had in my life this is the only one that makes me feel completely satisfied.Master said I make a lousy girlfriend but an excellent slave it is the only way to "be" for me, and I do feel that this type of relationship will endure in time.
Lubegirl

(in reply to hisannabelle)
Profile   Post #: 59
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