Padriag
Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan
I guess what I want is the benefit of your experience using this type of site. Should I commit a lot of time to the message boards and chat rooms in order to get to know people? Or can I stick with email and do equally well? Are there any questions you like to ask that help you weed out the phonies? Have you met anyone from CM and have those experiences been primarily positive or negative?
That sort of thing.
Hmmm... advice, alright.
Take your time. Be clear about who you are, what you expect and what you offer. Despite the fact that online you'll run into all sorts... an alarming percentage of which will be less than what they claim (or entirely anything except what they claim!), I don't recommend being cynical. Take everything with a grain of salt, ask questions, consider things, but don't stop being friendly, polite, and someone people want to be around. The reason is this... you can't be sure to whom you are talking... that person you think is too good to be true... sometimes turns out to be exactly as advertised, and the one you think for sure is on the level turns out to be nothing but a sham... anyone can be fooled online because its an easy place to do it. For me personally, they aren't real until they show up in person, until then they are just someone I know online. There are plenty of people I know online whom I've never met who I enjoy cooresponding with, talking on the phone with, etc... but somewhere in the back of my mind theres a part of me that still reserves an ounce of skepticism... until I've actually met them in person. That's why I don't offer collars online, don't commit to relationships online, and even hold back somewhat emotionally. I've met a lot of people online. I could tell you stories about the gal with the smokin hot pic who turned out to really be the dream girl in the pics. I could tell you about the gal with the smokin hot pic who turned out to be a 32 year old bored house wife with issues... and then how I later met the gal to whom the "borrowed" pics actually belonged... its a small world sometimes. You'll meet an amazing array of people online, and that's both a good and a bad thing. You'll encounter people from various walks of life you'd probably have never met otherwise, and sometimes that comes with some unusual opportunities. You'll also meet some "unusual" people who will annoy you, though sometimes they're entertaining too.
As for where to focus your efforts, I'd suggest you try the various options and see what "fits" you best. Some people have great success with the chat rooms. Others do better with the message boards or email and profiles. And some use all three. My personal experience with each is that chat rooms are great if you are a good conversationalist, but they're also time consuming. You will find that most chat rooms have a core group of "regulars" and then others who drift in and out. Chat rooms also have their own politics which can get complicated, be careful who you trust as some won't hesitate to backstab or attempt to sabotage a budding relationship. Message boards are good places to share your views, opinions and philosophy... they're more "intellectual" in style than the chat rooms (which tend to have less serious discussion and more casual banter). Message boards are good places to showcase your writing skills and knowledge. Humor can be found on message boards as well and some make it their calling card, not that I would name names .oO(Ron) Profiles aren't interactive in the way that forums and chatrooms are... its a good place to make statements about yourself, share pertinent facts and interesting trivia about yourself. The journal space extends this even further. When writing too submissives to make first contact, you probably shouldn't expect more than a 1 in 10 to 1 in 5 reply ratio... most submissives (especially female submissives from 18-30) seem to be overwhelmed with email. Keep that in mind when you write to them. As a rule I try not to make my first emails too long or too short... about 3-5 paragraphs seems about right. Keep things too the point, polite, friendly and interesting without "chasing". I seem to get the best responses to emails where I present myself as I am, take it or leave it, while making clear what I expect and some of what I offer (just hit the highlights), the submissive can then make up their mind if they're interested without feeling intruded on or "threatened". I also try to make each email as personal as I can, include some details from their profile so that they know I actually read their profile (so many do not its such that anyone who clearly has tends to stand out on that alone).
And yes I have met some folks through CM. One of them is laying on the bed next to me as I write this. 
_____________________________
Padriag
A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer
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RE: Making the Most of CM - 
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