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ORIGINAL: FaithfulYoungCuk

I don't want to be like "this is the most important post yada yada" but I was hoping to share my recent doings and beings-done-to ;), basically i've hit some brick walls in my head with all this cuckolding lately.  Lots okay...... more than any one man could ask for.  I'm not here to get into all the gory details, suffice it to say my gf/Master has a growing stable of .....ah, variously racial lovers and RECENT events make that ten times harder and heavier to bear than just knowing she's having sex with some men who intimidate me a lot.  k?

Well YoungCuk, I briefly took a look at your profile and it said you weren't looking to make friends with males as you didn't feel comfortable talking with them about your feelings.  I suggest you not limit yourself as we're not all the same men who are on the other side of the coin in your dynamic with your girlfriend.  I was initially a bit hesitant to give you a lot of advice, but clearly you're reaching out, asking for it and appear to be in need of it. 

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To be clear, this means that the ONLY time my girlfriend will have for serious sexual activity is those three days off and the ONLY people who will get to experience that with her are these other men.  To be clear, 9 times out of ten the best i will get is a quickie and between now and January it will increasingly weigh on me how much more time she actually spends having sex with them than with me.  I will be the strong minority in her sexual diet.

I guess this is the part I thought a lot of women might want to weigh in on?  Chastity is what i'm kind of ending up with.  Is that good, i dunno.  If it was not FORCED chastity, like no way i can do anything about it at all, it would be a lot easier for me but this is a burden.  Do i bear the burden nobly even though i might end up screwing the whole deal up before the end if i  snap?  how do i handle knowing that the only people who are really free to persue my girlfriend romantically are these other men? 

Yes there is a romantic aspect because she's one of those girls who needs some kind of emotional connection.  Will i live through this and what will i become by the end? 

The other thing I'm hearing is that your girlfriend doesn't casually have sex with the men she cuckholds you with, thus there's some kind of emotional connection between her and each of them.  I hear you essentially asking how committed your girlfriend is to your relationship and is she vulnerable to being pursued by these other men while you're not there as often as you'd like?  These insecurities you have regarding the strength of committment the two of you have to each other are things you clearly need to express to your girlfriend and discuss with her.  The insecurity you feel may be entirely your own.  However, if the cuck dynamic isn't something you desire, then I'd certainly understand why you'd feel this way.  Obviously, the only way to know where you stand and to quell your fears is to discuss these issues with her.

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Is there a bright side to this?  I've got to know. To me right now i just feel alone and scared.  On the one hand i feel like i could do it and embrace it and maybe i'm just trying not to embrace a big part of who i am, you know?

What if it becomes the norm and even if i quit working there she wont want to have sex with me, or what if i have to beg for sex for the rest of my life even though they just kind of grab her and behave like real men?

This seems to all go back to my original question!   To help you, we'd need to know who was the one with the desire to incorporate cuckolding into your relationship.  I can understand your feeling alone and being scared.  You're reaching out and expressing those fears in a healthy manner.  That's a very good thing in my opinion!

It takes time to search inside oneself to discover what's at your core; what drives your sexuality and pushes your buttons.  If being cuckolded makes you feel this insecure, then perhaps it's not the dynamic for you.  If it does push your buttons, but you feel insecure because of the situation with your girlfriend, then perhaps this is situational and simply needs to be discussed.  You may be with the wrong woman to have this kind of dynamic with.  You simply may need more reassurance from her that "you're the one", regardless of who she's with, ultimately she's going to come home to be with you.  Only the two of you can establish the ground rules for your dynamic.  It varies for each couple and there are no set rules to follow.

As an FYI, some men get turned on by begging in general for whatever they want.  Many Dommes get really turned on when a man begs for what they desire from them.   If that's not your thing and it's hers, perhaps that's something the two of you need to negotiate between you.  As to behaving like "real men", in my opinion there is no such thing that applies to all.  I belive a "real man" is a one who is true to himself and lives according to what he is and desires.  If being a cuck is what you are and you can admit it to yourself along with the woman in your life, then that's being a real enough man for me.  What anyone else thinks should matter as far as I'm concerned. 

Your kink may not be my kink, but I'm happy for you if it works for you.  Don't judge yourself by other's standards, instead acknowledge what you find inside.  If you find a woman who loves you for that, in my book, it makes you a very lucky man!

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ORIGINAL: FaithfulYoungCuk
i.e., if that's being true to themselves i could be true to how much i don't like them and do what they do at the sacrifice of this power exchange that i love so much.  i dont' easily reconcile with putting other men above me and i have to try to think of ways it can make sense in my head without really allowing them any status other than "sex object" in my head. 

Are you putting other men above you, or are you allowing your girlfriend to put them above you?  Or perhaps are you allowing her as part of your power exchange to use them to humiliate you, excite you, "push your buttons", control you, or do something else that you seek from her?  Whatever the case, it's all in your mind and how you choose to see things.

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I don't like men and i don't like the way they make me feel but i love my girlfriend and i love how she makes me feel.  strange i guess. 

Regardless of what you might think, your feelings are your own and not something that anyone can cause you to have.  I suggest you take responsibility for yourself and begin to own those feelings as yours.  Once you do, you might get a better handle on how you really feel about what's going on in your life and your relationship with your girlfriend.

Best of luck to you in your journey of self discovery.  It can be a difficult path to travel, but well worth the effort.

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ORIGINAL: MystressDream

I'm going to step way out on a limb here........ but, you don't sound like a cuckold to me.  You sound like a man in love with a woman and you DO have a problem with your role in her life.  Examine it.  You sound full of panic, and it could easily turn to resentment.

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ORIGINAL: MisPandora

Uh, ok...so what was your question......or was this just your opportunity to show off the sortid details of your life with strangers?

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ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne

A really wise Mistress I know has a very simple philosophy about BDSM: if you ain't absolutely lovin' it, don't do it!

On some level you must be loving the drama of all this.  If you didn't, you would get busy finding a new job and/or a new girlfriend. 

I suspect you are an emotional masochist, so enjoy your pain!!!  It is all pain of your own making.  No, seriously.  I am not trying to be a smart-alec or criticising your kink.  You are really into emotional pain (in relationships with women) and the sooner you realise how much you love that kind of suffering (and why), the more personal growth you will experience.

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ORIGINAL: FaithfulYoungCuk
Now.......... biggest problem for me right now is my new job.  She works Sunday-Wednesday 3rd shift and now i will be working Thursday through Saturday 3rd shift.  We each get three days off but ALL of those days are days when the other one is working AND I can't quit for financial reasons until i find a new job.  In all likelihood this is going to last until January. 

To be clear, this means that the ONLY time my girlfriend will have for serious sexual activity is those three days off and the ONLY people who will get to experience that with her are these other men.  To be clear, 9 times out of ten the best i will get is a quickie and between now and January it will increasingly weigh on me how much more time she actually spends having sex with them than with me.  I will be the strong minority in her sexual diet.

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ORIGINAL: RumpusParable

Am I the only one that got hung up on the description of the work schedule problem?  Faithful, could you clarify what the problem is, because I'm not understanding at all why you won't be having regular sex with your partner from what you said here.

She works Sun-Wed, 3rd shift.
You work Thru-Sat, 3rd shift.

Where is the lack of time to have lots of non-quickie sex?  This is a totally normal work schedule for a couple, just at night instead of the daytime.

Is it that others are familiar with past posts and there is more in your schedule going on that I don't know about?  Both of you going to college during the day or something similar?  Live a few hours apart?

I'm confused, please clarify.

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ORIGINAL: FaithfulYoungCuk

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ORIGINAL: MisPandora

Uh, ok...so what was your question......or was this just your opportunity to show off the sortid details of your life with strangers?

Trust me I'm not sharing any sordid details.  If you look close my question is that I'm looking for advice and maybe finding some people with similar experiences I can talk to.  I'm not here to sneer so maybe gimme a break huh.

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ORIGINAL: MisPandora

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ORIGINAL: FaithfulYoungCuk

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ORIGINAL: MisPandora

Uh, ok...so what was your question......or was this just your opportunity to show off the sortid details of your life with strangers?

Trust me I'm not sharing any sordid details.  If you look close my question is that I'm looking for advice and maybe finding some people with similar experiences I can talk to.  I'm not here to sneer so maybe gimme a break huh.

The difficulty lies in not knowing her motivations, your motivations, the level of commitment in the other parties involved, and whether any of you negotiated this, whether you're all playing safely, etc.  You just put forth some information and a "so am I crazy" statement at the end.  What in particular do you desire feedback on?  What are you really struggling with?

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Negotiations and renegotiations can take place throughout the course of a relationship. It sounds to me like there is some renegotiation that needs to take place to cover the changes and discomforts that are happening in your lives.

Without knowing your ages, it's hard to know whether this is a question of her maturity or not. Have you just come right out and asked her why she's ashamed to admit she's a cuckoldress rather than lying? I'd be right up front about it -- tell her that it's not humiliating to you in a good sense that she's misrepresenting your role. Tell her that it leaves you questioning her motives and doubtful about her value of you. The reinforcement in a cuckolding relationship is that you know she loves you and needs you, and you're willing to do anything for her because of that bond. Anything that's done to jeopardize the bond risks the balance of the relationship. Perhaps she's just that inexperienced that she doesn't see that the apple cart is tipping over a wee bit....

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ORIGINAL: MisPandora

Negotiations and renegotiations can take place throughout the course of a relationship.  It sounds to me like there is some renegotiation that needs to take place to cover the changes and discomforts that are happening in your lives.

Without knowing your ages, it's hard to know whether this is a question of her maturity or not.  Have you just come right out and asked her why she's ashamed to admit she's a cuckoldress rather than lying?  I'd be right up front about it -- tell her that it's not humiliating to you in a good sense that she's misrepresenting your role.  Tell her that it leaves you questioning her motives and doubtful about her value of you.  The reinforcement in a cuckolding relationship is that you know she loves you and needs you, and you're willing to do anything for her because of that bond.  Anything that's done to jeopardize the bond risks the balance of the relationship.  Perhaps she's just that inexperienced that she doesn't see that the apple cart is tipping over a wee bit....