Submission are we born this way??

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Submission are we born this way??

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Submission are we born this way??

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Submission are we born this way?? - 11/4/2007 6:45:57 PM

mya75

Posts: 300
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline

Once again I have been reading so I will play a bit with my next question for *subs & slaves*......I personally believe there is a direct correlation with being a shy person by nature and becoming a submissive..I know not all will agree with this but I'd like to hear your thoughts....As a child I was overly shy almost extreme and it wasnt until I became an adult and entered into this lifestyle that I knew where to target my shyness at that point I became *shy/submissive to those I felt were superior to me and assertive to those I deemed not so worthy* My question is if you are a sub ....would you look back and say you were a shy child? **Thanks in advance for any responses**

_____________________________

~**Mya Papaya**~

"A fool learns from his own mistakes, a wise person learns from the mistakes of others."

Post #: 1

RE: Submission are we born this way?? - 11/4/2007 6:55:37 PM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

No, I have been very outgoing and assertive all of my life. I also do not see people as being superior or inferior to me. I am submissive in a relationship to a Dominant, not because I see him as a superior, but because he possesses the characteristics and traits that I value and respect.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to mya75)

Post #: 2

RE: Submission are we born this way?? - 11/4/2007 6:56:28 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mya75
My question is if you are a sub ....would you look back and say you were a shy child?

Not particularly. All through my life I have been shy in certain social situations. Anywhere there is a large crowd and I don't really know anyone/many folks makes me feel more shy. But, in general, I have never been overly shy. This could also be said of my feelings of submissiveness. I feel it with Master but not people in general. I am someone who is pretty outspoken and can easily be assertive with anyone who is needs it

. Submissiveness - for me - doesn't stem from shyness or any sense of others being superior to me. It happens because He makes me weak in the knees and want to do anything possible to please Him............luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to mya75)

Post #: 3

RE: Submission are we born this way?? - 11/4/2007 7:04:27 PM

Eurolymius

Posts: 4
Joined: 10/20/2007
Status: offline

I am a very outgoing, assertive person. I am willful, direct, and hyper. However, I easily bend to what others ask of me, particularly peer pressure, I'm gullible, and in many ways a sissy. It is a strange and complicated dynamic that causes some tension with my ability to fully submit. My ultimate goal is to maintain my independent spirit and vivacious personality while being able to whole-heartedly submit to my Master in every way.

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 4

RE: Submission are we born this way?? - 11/4/2007 7:07:32 PM

sensualmagirl

Posts: 1065
Joined: 7/4/2006
From: Boston, MA
Status: offline

(fast reply) yes, I was a very shy child... to the extreme! I honestly beleive that I was born to be submissive, but, that's me, I know there are a lot of people who are different... as it is in all walks of life

_____________________________

"The most important thing in any relationship is not what you get but what you give" --Eleanor Roosevelt

MySpace

(in reply to Eurolymius)

Post #: 5

RE: Submission are we born this way?? - 11/4/2007 7:21:51 PM

Littlepita

Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

No, I have been very outgoing and assertive all of my life. I also do not see people as being superior or inferior to me. I am submissive in a relationship to a Dominant, not because I see him as a superior, but because he possesses the characteristics and traits that I value and respect.

Ditto!

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 6

RE: Submission are we born this way?? - 11/4/2007 7:25:44 PM

wisteriaV

Posts: 438
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline

I was not shy I was a book worm. I enjoyed books and learning and from the time I was about ten years old I knew I watned college and a career. However, being from an "old fashioned family" where women were taught to cook, clean and tend to a house, husband and children, I embraced both fully and with purpose. I learned in my early twenties that I could not have children, so I focused totally on a career and did pretty much what I wanted to do, including being in an alternative life choice...I know in my heart and soul I was born to serve and outside of the "public " life, I live my life with Master in that manner. I am still very blunt and honest, so no one has to worry about what I think when asked about things, but I cherish the submissive me all the time.

_____________________________

Every story has two sides , much like a coin and neither one is totally perfect.
If it doesn't float your boat, then don't get in the water~!

(in reply to sensualmagirl)

Post #: 7

RE: Submission are we born this way?? - 11/4/2007 7:42:41 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mya75

As a child I was overly shy almost extreme and it wasnt until I became an adult and entered into this lifestyle that I knew where to target my shyness at that point I became *shy/submissive to those I felt were superior to me and assertive to those I deemed not so worthy* My question is if you are a sub ....would you look back and say you were a shy child? **Thanks in advance for any responses**

I was a mixture of quiet and loud. Not exactly shy but I didn't play well with others for a long time so I was most often reading a book. When my stutter hit, I became quiet because it was too difficult to talk. It was also middle school and well... middle schools girls and boys are not very nice about those sorts of things. My shyness is more a reluctance to communicate verbally than anything else.

While my self-confidence has definately grown though discovering and owning my submissive nature, it is not because I believe myself to be "superior" or "inferior" to anyone. I tend to find that notion quite amusing, regardless of who someone is trying to say they are inferior/superior to.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to mya75)

Post #: 8

RE: Submission are we born this way?? - 11/4/2007 7:50:56 PM

azropedntied

Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline

well i have never been shy and always been a kinky fetish person .When i was a lil kid my mom used to say i would say hi to a rattlesnake .The BDSM fetish kinky side of me has been there as long as i can remember .

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 9

RE: Submission are we born this way?? - 11/4/2007 7:52:43 PM

gracieamelia

Posts: 26
Joined: 10/21/2007
Status: offline

mya....many shy people are passive by nature.
Please dont equate shy =passive=submissive.

(in reply to mya75)

Post #: 10

RE: Submission are we born this way?? - 11/4/2007 7:54:20 PM

mya75

Posts: 300
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gracieamelia

mya....many shy people are passive by nature.
Please dont equate shy =passive=submissive.

I equate it with my submission .....not anyone elses

_____________________________

~**Mya Papaya**~

"A fool learns from his own mistakes, a wise person learns from the mistakes of others."

(in reply to gracieamelia)

Post #: 11

RE: Submission are we born this way?? - 11/4/2007 7:57:47 PM

jadedserendipity

Posts: 3596
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mya75

Once again I have been reading so I will play a bit with my next question for *subs & slaves*......I personally believe there is a direct correlation with being a shy person by nature and becoming a submissive..I know not all will agree with this but I'd like to hear your thoughts....As a child I was overly shy almost extreme and it wasnt until I became an adult and entered into this lifestyle that I knew where to target my shyness at that point I became *shy/submissive to those I felt were superior to me and assertive to those I deemed not so worthy* My question is if you are a sub ....would you look back and say you were a shy child? **Thanks in advance for any responses**

I have always been very outgoing, the upbeat insanely annoying child in the classroom. The perky friend who cheers everybody up or at least provides a laugh, never quiet or shy...... As I have grown I have remained rather outgoing so for me the shy factor did not equate into submission.....

_____________________________

-:Anias Nin:- I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.

(in reply to mya75)

Post #: 12

RE: Submission are we born this way?? - 11/4/2007 8:01:53 PM

goodgirl08

Posts: 145
Joined: 6/11/2007
Status: offline

I was extremely shy as a kid, I am much more capable of being outgoing now, but I still prefer to be more introverted and have a close circle of friends. I definitely think this quality has something to do with my submissiveness, maybe it is a desire for a deep intimacy behind closed doors that drives my shyness. Although I have an exhibitionistic side, so who knows. It might have more to do with what we feel inside that how we act externally.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 13

RE: Submission are we born this way?? - 11/4/2007 8:07:49 PM

slavegirljoy

Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mya75
My question is if you are a sub ....would you look back and say you were a shy child?

Yes, mya, i was extremely shy, growing up. And, i am still shy, although i have learned to deal with it and i can hide my shyness when i need to, such as in a business setting or when doing the 'parent thing' at school. i don't know if there is any direct correlation between my being shy and being submissive. It may be that i was shy because of my submissive nature or, it may just be a coincidence.

i think my submissiveness is just a part of my personality and that my personality was shaped, primarily at home, in part, by how i learned to interact with the 'power players' in my family, which included my very strict, disciplinarian father and 4 very demanding older sisters, who i depended on for my health, safety and, well-being. i learned to be a 'pleaser' and to "get along by going along".

Edited to add: i am submissive only within my intimate, sexual relationships. i don't go through life submitting to people, in general. i am shy but not passive with most people i encounter.

slave joy
Owned property of Master David

< Message edited by slavegirljoy -- 11/4/2007 8:36:22 PM >

(in reply to mya75)

Post #: 14

RE: Submission are we born this way?? - 11/4/2007 8:13:49 PM

mya75

Posts: 300
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline

Just letting everyone know I am reading the posts and I didnt vanish

_____________________________

~**Mya Papaya**~

"A fool learns from his own mistakes, a wise person learns from the mistakes of others."

(in reply to slavegirljoy)

Post #: 15

RE: Submission are we born this way?? - 11/4/2007 8:17:42 PM

greyarcher315

Posts: 99
Joined: 12/7/2006
Status: offline

i have always been shy, at least at first. i believe that is just part of me, not nessacrily related to me being a sub. Give me the right circumstances and i can become very assetive. People are complicated, and there is no one easy pattern everyone will follow.

(in reply to slavegirljoy)

Post #: 16

RE: Submission are we born this way?? - 11/4/2007 9:01:03 PM

grlneedstolearn

Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline

i was definitely a shy kid growing up. i only had friends if someone actually came up to me, which happened a lot in sports that i played. Even now with my Dom i'm still shy about some things, but we're working on it.

(in reply to mya75)

Post #: 17

RE: Submission are we born this way?? - 11/4/2007 9:08:43 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

My being shy has zero to do with my being a submissive. Trust me, trying to suggest that personality is related to orientation is a total lie and I could bring up tons of exceptions to anything you could try to show.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 18

RE: Submission are we born this way?? - 11/4/2007 9:16:29 PM

missfrillypants

Posts: 124
Joined: 4/27/2007
Status: offline

as far as being born this way, i think i was, but i've never been particularly shy...
i was the kind of kid who always wanted to be the center of attention... i was the first grandkid on either side and a drama queen. i always kind of wanted to perform for people, and i would work crowds, particularly of adults since i was never very good with kids my own age. i was a kind of bossy child, actually, mostly to my little brother and people like that. i acutally kind of think that when you're performing for people the way i did, it's a kind of submission... you want to do things they like so they'll say nice things and be happy with you. but that's just my take on it, and i don't think i've explained it very well.

*goes back to ignoring collarme*

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 19

RE: Submission are we born this way?? - 11/4/2007 9:22:48 PM

mya75

Posts: 300
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: missfrillypants

as far as being born this way, i think i was, but i've never been particularly shy...
i was the kind of kid who always wanted to be the center of attention... i was the first grandkid on either side and a drama queen. i always kind of wanted to perform for people, and i would work crowds, particularly of adults since i was never very good with kids my own age. i was a kind of bossy child, actually, mostly to my little brother and people like that. i acutally kind of think that when you're performing for people the way i did, it's a kind of submission... you want to do things they like so they'll say nice things and be happy with you. but that's just my take on it, and i don't think i've explained it very well.

*goes back to ignoring collarme*

you explained it well I think its just a need to please that you have and have always had since childhood...thks for responding *smiles*

_____________________________

~**Mya Papaya**~

"A fool learns from his own mistakes, a wise person learns from the mistakes of others."

(in reply to missfrillypants)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Submission are we born this way??

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.110