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PhoenixRed -> RE: Straight vs. Bisexual Dommes (11/6/2007 2:39:07 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MystressDream
Ok... I think I better expound on my short answer entered earlier.... before someone calls me to task over the comment. <grin>
First of all, I am straight. I am looking for a straight male slave/submissive.
I am bisexual, and I am looking for primarily bisexual male slaves/submissives. However, my sexual orientation has nothing to do with who I am lookin for in a submissive.
In my experience, straight male slave/submissives have been hard to find. The majority who I meet in real time, and online are bi-sexual.... or, say they are.
Hee hee...in my experience, slaves/subs that are bi by orientation are hard to find. More on that below.
I have never dismissed anyone or refused to converse with them based on that. However, the majority of the time, eventually, the conversation gets around to their "need and desire" to be "forced" to have sex with another man. Followed by, "You would arrange this for your slave, right, Ma'am?"
Yes, it gets to that point with me a lot too, but happens a lot sooner in the conversation (like the first e-mail) rather than down the road! I think bi male slaves are looking to be with other men, since their orientation allows for that. They hope that if you have more than one bi male sub, the two will be made to interact. Heve the Domme pick play partners instead of trying to find a man to play with yourself...yup, that's some of it. In my world, that can happen. But that's at my discretion, and isn't guaranteed.
My answer is no. First of all, I hate that "forced" crap. You can't be "forced" to do something you want to do anyway. Requesting that it be done kind of blows the whole "I must be forced" thing out the window, doesn't it? Same thing with "forced feminization". Face it... you want to do it.... therefore it is not a "forced" thing. That would make it non-consentual anyway.
K, I do have a slight difference of opinion on this topic. Some men are bisexual by orientation. They like interaction with other men, and don't have to be forced to do it. However, there are bi-curious men that really don't know if they're bi by orientation. For many of these men, having a Domme "force" them to interact with another male takes away the guilt, responsibility, etc. of having made the decision themselves. Most of the time it is something they would never have sought out on their own. In this context, they can see if it is something pleasurable to them or not. Is that truly "forced bi" - not really. Finally, you have the other type of "forced bis". These men are usually straight by orientation, but view being made to service another male as the epitome of humiliation and debasement to them - and true, that's their main kink, humiliation. They don't like doing it, but will if their Domme demands it - in their minds many times, it the ultimate in obeying a Domme. So, yes, in essence it's all consentual and in some way, shape or form, most of them do get something out of it for themselves. If it's really something a man will not consider doing, he'll tell you it's one of his hard limits. If he's of the latter category of "forced bi", he'll probably tell you it's one of his soft limits and that he really has to trust you to do it - otherwise, hard limit again.
I have also had contact with many males on here who list themselves as bi-sexual and then say they are not. They have said they put that on their profiles because it's what "all Dommes" are looking for. Then I ask them why they would lie about it, and they say, "Well, it gets some of them talking to me." So much for starting out on a basis of trust and honesty.
Yup, lots of those! Most are straight men that want to be fucked with a strap-on. Not bi at all, just like anal sex. You know guys, that's perfectly ok. You can tell us that instead of saying you're bi! Saves us all a lot of trouble! Then if I tell them I want bi subs, all of a suddent they become forced bis that will do it if I command it. Funny how that works. A case of "foot in the door", methinks.
Guess what, guys? I don't really care if you are bi-sexual, as long as you can put your desires for having sex with men aside if you wear my collar. I have nothing against bi-sexual pleasures whatsoever, it's just not my thing. I have observed it, and it does nothing for me. Doesn't make it wrong.... just doesn't make it something I would be wanting to orchestrate in my life. Part of that is because I require an exclusive sexual relationship with a slave. Just me... <shrug>
You know exactly what you're looking for and are going after it. I wish you much luck in your search.
Great post. I wanted to comment on my own experience, as compared to what you have found, since I am looking primarily for bi male subs/slaves. I've put my comments in bold above.
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