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ORIGINAL: blueyedslave

After a heated argument that lasted a few days with my Mistress I was left feeling completly nonsubmissive. The argument was neither of our faults as we were both very stressed out. We have since talked and worked things out and everything is back to normal execpt for the lack of submission I feel. I was wonder if anyone else has gone through anything like this and if so what did you do to overcome it? Or has any Master or Mistress had a slave that this has happened to? I thank you in advance for any help and or suggestions.

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ORIGINAL: Switchblayde

She shouldn't have lost control, it was a weakness in her that you shouldn't have been exposed to. If  you hold someone in high esteem, put them on a pedestal and in the course of an argument, the dynamic changes, you have to regain the original dynamic.
You argued as equals and it altered the dynamics of the relationship.

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ORIGINAL: batshalom

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ORIGINAL: Switchblayde

She shouldn't have lost control, it was a weakness in her that you shouldn't have been exposed to. If  you hold someone in high esteem, put them on a pedestal and in the course of an argument, the dynamic changes, you have to regain the original dynamic.
You argued as equals and it altered the dynamics of the relationship.

If this works for you, I applaud you; however, I've been doing this for ... mm ... ~smiling~ ... awhile ... and have not seen anyone able to keep up the 24/7 D/s M/s guise.

Life happens, we expect peaks and valleys because this stuff isn't Castle Realm - it's just living. We get up, go to work, pay bills, have hormone issues, grow older, get sick, and we get into arguments. It doesn't mean the Master or Mistress is less than before, it means he or she is breathing.

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ORIGINAL: Switchblayde

I didn't mean it to sound so cold and calculating. I was speaking from the experience of getting it wrong myself. You have to work to regain the dynamic and the onus, for the most part, is on the Mistress since her sub will look to her for guidance.  

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ORIGINAL: blueyedslave

After a heated argument that lasted a few days with my Mistress I was left feeling completly nonsubmissive. The argument was neither of our faults as we were both very stressed out. We have since talked and worked things out and everything is back to normal execpt for the lack of submission I feel. I was wonder if anyone else has gone through anything like this and if so what did you do to overcome it? Or has any Master or Mistress had a slave that this has happened to? I thank you in advance for any help and or suggestions.

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ORIGINAL: batshalom

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ORIGINAL: Switchblayde

I didn't mean it to sound so cold and calculating. I was speaking from the experience of getting it wrong myself. You have to work to regain the dynamic and the onus, for the most part, is on the Mistress since her sub will look to her for guidance.  

I see what you're saying, but taking responsibility off the sub isn't effective. Teaching a sub to be less responsible for herself, to the M-type, and to the dynamic in general, is a sure way to kill a relationship.

Should the M-type lose control? Nah, but it happens.  Should the s-type? Nah, but it happens. To lay full responsbility on the D or M is unrealistic - people err, sometimes people trigger and act opposite of their typical role or personality. Hopefully, the s-type is mature and stable and can be the strong stable one for that period of time instead of causing more drama. But that happens too, eh?

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ORIGINAL: bipolarber

Sounds like the two of you had a heck of a row! Don't worry about the "un-sub" feelings you've got right now. That's just residual from the fight. (I've been in the same place myself, several times.) Part of what always made me rather hesitant about giving myself back to the relationship like that is knowing that my partner is honestly over it, and won't be using their position of power to "exact revenge" for the argument.

In one particular case, the Domme I was with at the time actually made my "re-submission" a formal ritual: she had me, in something of an "interrogation scene" (on my knees, under a spotlight in a darkened room) answer all her questions, about "Who did I belong to?" "What was my reason to be there?" and so on. There were some well spaced hits from a leather slapper when I was a bit slow witht he expected answer. There were also "rewards" for passionate, correct answers. This "mantra" went on for most of the evening, and served the purpose of getting my head back into the space of belonging to her. (I don't reccommend this to anyone, but it really seems to have worked for us.)

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ORIGINAL: blueyedslave

After a heated argument that lasted a few days with my Mistress I was left feeling completly nonsubmissive. The argument was neither of our faults as we were both very stressed out. We have since talked and worked things out and everything is back to normal execpt for the lack of submission I feel. I was wonder if anyone else has gone through anything like this and if so what did you do to overcome it? Or has any Master or Mistress had a slave that this has happened to? I thank you in advance for any help and or suggestions.

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ORIGINAL: Rover

This is yet another example of how a daily ritual can be of value.  Something that evokes and reinforces the power exchange dynamic.  Though I would not expect miracles, as sometimes it takes a while to simply get over things. 
 
John