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RE: The mouse trap - 11/7/2007 12:12:26 AM

TotalState

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

kumbyaaaaa my lorrrdddddd

kumbyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....................

It's also appropriate to have marshmellows at a roasting.

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RE: The mouse trap - 11/7/2007 12:13:07 AM

RRafe

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveofKaos

I am a very open minded person and always welcome peoples constructive criticism and advice even if it's not what I was hoping to hear if it's done in a polite helpul and courteous way. Many on here are very rude or come off as cold when they give advise especially if they know or think it isn't what the person wants to hear or if they disagree with something.

Umm hmm, they do it to break through the haze that fantasy creates. And it works.

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RE: The mouse trap - 11/7/2007 12:14:12 AM

chiaThePet

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Everybody say cheese

chia* (the pet)

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RE: The mouse trap - 11/7/2007 12:17:54 AM

MissMagnolia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveofKaos

I am a very open minded person and always welcome peoples constructive criticism and advice even if it's not what I was hoping to hear if it's done in a polite helpul and courteous way. Many on here are very rude or come off as cold when they give advise especially if they know or think it isn't what the person wants to hear or if they disagree with something.

I think you need to understand that many of the people here come off as "cold" because they don't sugar coat responses. It is not the responsibility of the poster to pander to someones insecurities. I come off as "cold" often, because that is how I speak in real life. My personality and my job requires honest, sometimes harsh, in your face and to the point input.

Another thing most people don't realise is that you are reading the typed word. There is no nuance, there is no body language, there is no facial expression.

Assume nothing, because you will probably be wrong.

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RE: The mouse trap - 11/7/2007 12:19:19 AM

MissMagnolia

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Actually, I'm only here for the marshmallows and songs.

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RE: The mouse trap - 11/7/2007 12:20:57 AM

RRafe

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

Actually, I'm only here for the marshmallows and songs.

I like the porn.

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RE: The mouse trap - 11/7/2007 12:23:01 AM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
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WHAT???? You mean you ARE a deviant?????

I feel like such a twit now.

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RE: The mouse trap - 11/7/2007 12:24:11 AM

RRafe

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

WHAT???? You mean you ARE a deviant?????

I feel like such a twit now.

But I only look at TWUE porn, that's different.

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RE: The mouse trap - 11/7/2007 2:19:20 AM

MRandme

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Joined: 9/24/2007
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First...RRafe. where'd yer pic go??

Second... if there a fire and marshamallows there's gotta be chocolate and graham crackers! Who wants s'mores?

Third... hey, ya know what? life is too short to let negativity get you down. Chances are you'll never meet 98% of these people in real life. They wanna get pissy, let 'em. You don't have to take what they say to heart.

The way i see it, if someone says something and it doesn't apply to you, it's just words. No meaning, nothing that has to touch you. If it does apply, then it's the truth and the truth sometimes hurts. You use what you've heard or you ignore it. You also have to consider the source.

And again, realize that you can't hear the tone of voice, you can't see the facial expressions and body language. So it is hard to tell exactly how something has been said.

Hey, i do feel your pain. i understand where this is coming from and it's true. But it is true no matter where you go and only you can decide how much it's going to affect you. So relax. Ignore the ones who piss you off and just be yourself.

g

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RE: The mouse trap - 11/7/2007 2:32:05 AM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
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quote:

ORIGINAL: shootingstar67

I am new here. I joined 10/29 I just started posting questions.
One person here started to attack me. And then another joined in and then two more joined in..
It was obvious (to me) that the subbiebullies were just trying to amuse themselves.
I never want post a question here again!
I should not have been made to feel that way.
I never want anyone else to be made to feel that way.
But I am willing to bet MANY have felt that way.
I have seen nasty posts ALL over this message board. Nasty judgemental, illnatured, unhelpful, harmful, and completely rude!
When I see it I am seriously going to start start saying something
If I think they are just being ignorant I will try to educate them. If I think they misunderstood something that was said, I will try to clear it up for them and if I think they are just being downright nasty..well, I will voice that opinion.
Generally people come here for help. If you are going to be unhelpful and rude... stay out of it.
I encourage all here to read this story It is somewhat related.
It is called
"The Mouse Trap".

http://thadhagadhan.blogspot.com/2007/06/mousetrap.html

Let me see...

You're new here, haven't a real feel for things yet with the grand whopping total of 43 posts under your belt (And only 2 under this name) and you feel it's your "responsibility" to "educate" all of us who are so "ignorant" as to not post in the manner you see fit?

And yet, you begin with "I never want to post here again." Evidently you do - cause - here you are. It kinda hurts your credibility when you begin with a statement and then spend the rest of your post refuting it - in this case, simply by continuing to post! (But hey, that's all right. We see a lot of that around here. ("I'm miffed! I'm leaving and I'm never coming back!! - generally designed to garner sympathy and a plethora of pleading responses: "Oh, please don't go!!"... and within a week, the folks who were "never coming back" are posting once more. It gets kind of predictable.) I'm not saying you can't post, shouldn't post, or anything like that. I am saying that you are not a censor. You are not the determiner of all that is right or correct or whatever it is you think you're going to do in your self-appointed position of educator of the masses. Emily Post died more than a few years ago. Even so, she actually wrote a book, so the whole polite thing has been covered, thank you very much.

Anyway, Thanks so much for the advise, help and otherwise judgmental in turn comments ahead of time. I don't post according to how you or anyone else thinks I should. I never have and I don't believe that the mere presence of you here on these boards is going to change that much.

Oh, by the way... if you don't like the tone and temperment of this, I'd suggest next time, leave the sanctimonious stuff (I'm being nice here) out - or gain some distance. Are you REALLY affected so deeply by what a bunch of strangers says? I mean seriously, if you met any of us on the street somewhere, you'd never even know who you'd met - and neither would we.

Take what you want from what you read and leave the rest. It's pretty simple.

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 11/7/2007 2:44:22 AM >

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RE: The mouse trap - 11/7/2007 2:56:05 AM

Decimus

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Shooting, just remember the movie Men in Black and the great quote to describe humanity, "A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it. Everything they've ever "known" has been proven to be wrong."

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RE: The mouse trap - 11/7/2007 3:04:18 AM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
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Most of us have the same experience when we first arrive on CM. Newcomers don’t understand the personalities as well and are not afraid to debate any and all. The “group” doesn’t know you either and tends to feel threatened by an outsider. Human nature.

Geez, you should have been around when I came on. Entire cults came out attacking me because I commented in objective, but negative ways on a type of post. LOL..it was hilarious, viruses being sent to me in email and so on.

The only advice I can give you is to stick around and learn the personalities of those involved and let them learn you. When you know the people, you tend to understand their style of sometimes being outlandish or what have you. I didn’t change, but people think I’m nicer now. They didn’t change either, but I think they are nicer, also. See what I mean?

Also, as you develop relationships with others on here, things tend to get easier and the whole experience is more fun. Stick around.

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RE: The mouse trap - 11/7/2007 3:18:40 AM

bandit25

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shooting, I think the jerky guy got it right. Everyone (except Exsteel and Level) are jerks sometimes...maybe they are having an off day, maybe they just got yelled at by their boss, maybe their dog died, maybe they've read the exact same post a zillion times are are aggravated...who knows? The beauty of the internet is that anyone can pretty much post anything they want.

It sounds like you have good intentions, but, and I think I've said this before, I don't see why you think it's up to you to "educate" or "straighten" everyone else out. If I may, in my opinion, others aren't making you feel bad, you are ALLOWING them to make you feel bad. You don't know these people here. How can what they say affect you? If someone says you are wrong, all it really means is that whatever you have said is wrong for them, not for you. Don't take all this crap so personally.

Now, maybe you have some serious (to you) questions or issues. Like ExSteel said, get to know (by reading the posts) some of the regular posters. See whose opinions appeal or speak to you. Email them privately. I've found that most respond positively. And if they don't, don't worry about it or think that they are rude. Maybe that person had other, more pressing things to attend to at the time.

If you see someone you think is being "attacked" you can always send that person a private email giving encouragement. IMO, posts like yours, although sincere, provide a perfect targets for all the big guns to come out blazing.

< Message edited by bandit25 -- 11/7/2007 3:20:05 AM >

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RE: The mouse trap - 11/7/2007 3:23:33 AM

adoracat

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

kumbyaaaaa my lorrrdddddd

kumbyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....................

hard limit! hard limit!!!

kitten, giggling

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RE: The mouse trap - 11/7/2007 3:26:14 AM

batshalom

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shootingstar, I could be wrong ... but ... I don't think you're helping yourself any.

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RE: The mouse trap - 11/7/2007 4:32:39 AM

Drifa

Posts: 547
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From: Rural Texas
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shootingstar67, I haven't been involved in these posts, but please do consider the "tone" and phrasing of what you say.

Your original post in this thread comes across to me, when I read it, as belligerent, whiny, and bullying, all at the same time. Posts with these kinds of triggers in them are not going to get you helpful, considered responses.

After you write a post, re-read it a bit later before you send it. Look and see if you are being judgemental in it. Look for things that might come across as rude or whiny... remember, we cannot see your body language or hear your spoken tone of voice.

Honestly, if it is just occasionally someone is being an ass, then that person is being an ass and blow it off.

But if every single time you post you get a barrage of bristling people snarling at you, the problem isn't the board, it's something in the way you are wording your posts that is pissing people off.

Consider that, and take a look to see if maybe your posts might come off with a very different tone or "voice" than you intend.

If you get a hostile response back and don't understand why, don't bitch-slap them back! Instead, ask politely, "Excuse me, you seem to be really hostile in your answer. Please tell me why you responded that way. Did I say something that came across differently than I intended it to?" Then calmly read their response.... you'll likely find that something in the way you are stating things is riling folks, and could easily be avoided.

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RE: The mouse trap - 11/7/2007 4:36:23 AM

SweetSarijane

Posts: 3788
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From: KC area Missouri
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As long as it's within the TOS, people can post how they please. Most of us here tend to be blunt and not sugarcoat things. One's interpretation of a post isn't always the same as the intent of the poster who made it. Sure people get snarky and rude, so what? Life isn't roses and neither are message boards. Take what works for you and discard the rest. Why let the words of strangers have such power over you? Gotta have a thick skin and let things roll off you rather than get to you.

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RE: The mouse trap - 11/7/2007 4:38:25 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: shootingstar67

I am new here. I joined 10/29 I just started posting questions.
One person here started to attack me. And then another joined in and then two more joined in..
It was obvious (to me) that the subbiebullies were just trying to amuse themselves.
I never want post a question here again!
I should not have been made to feel that way.
I never want anyone else to be made to feel that way.
But I am willing to bet MANY have felt that way.
I have seen nasty posts ALL over this message board. Nasty judgemental, illnatured, unhelpful, harmful, and completely rude!
When I see it I am seriously going to start start saying something
If I think they are just being ignorant I will try to educate them. If I think they misunderstood something that was said, I will try to clear it up for them and if I think they are just being downright nasty..well, I will voice that opinion.
Generally people come here for help. If you are going to be unhelpful and rude... stay out of it.
I encourage all here to read this story It is somewhat related.
It is called
"The Mouse Trap".

http://thadhagadhan.blogspot.com/2007/06/mousetrap.html

LMAO

I am now a subbiebully

Hot dayum

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RE: The mouse trap - 11/7/2007 4:45:49 AM

RCdc

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

LMAO

I am now a subbiebully

Hot dayum

Pfft could be worse - you could be accused of being mod11...
(no offense mod11)

the.dark.

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RE: The mouse trap - 11/7/2007 4:47:41 AM

slaveofKaos

Posts: 143
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This isn't a matter of sugar coating it's a matter of tact. There is a difference between being upfront, and honest--and being discourteous.

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