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RE: The mouse trap - 11/7/2007 4:53:55 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Tact or discourteousy has nothing to do with being a bully.  Some of the cleverest bullies mask with politeness.
No one is responsible how someone takes words posted, only the person who reads it.  If I say something is crap, that is because it's how I am and how I speak.  So often people on message boards don;t even take into account different dialects or countries.  That doesn't make me a bully, it means I am answering a question.  I am not going to be something I am not just so that other peoples feelings are saved when there is no malice intention in the first place.  If someone is overly sensitive, no amount of kind words is going to alter that.  People only see how they behave themselves and that says way more about the person than a few words written on a screen that have no inflection, no description and no visual aid.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to slaveofKaos)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: The mouse trap - 11/7/2007 4:53:57 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shootingstar67

I am new here. I joined 10/29 I just started posting questions.
One person here started to attack me. And then another joined in and then two more joined in..
It was obvious (to me) that the subbiebullies were just trying to amuse themselves.
I never want post a question here again!
I should not have been made to feel that way.
I never want anyone else to be made to feel that way.
But I am willing to bet MANY have felt that way.
I have seen nasty posts ALL over this message board. Nasty judgemental, illnatured, unhelpful, harmful, and completely rude!
When I see it I am seriously going to start start saying something
If I think they are just being ignorant I will try to educate them. If I think they misunderstood something that was said, I will try to clear it up for them and if I think they are just being downright nasty..well, I will voice that opinion.
Generally people come here for help. If you are going to be unhelpful and rude... stay out of it.
I encourage all here to read this story It is somewhat related.
It is called
"The Mouse Trap".

http://thadhagadhan.blogspot.com/2007/06/mousetrap.html




I should just make this part of my sig...

CM is not a safe space. Get over it. It does not pretend to be or state it anywhere. There are many space safe places where you can go to discuss your issues on the internet. There are pros and cons to safe spaces and to places like this. I find a person needs both.

However, I have also seen this community rally around someone going through a tough time and sincere delight when a long-standing member finds what they were looking for, when a long-term relationship hits another milestone in their journey together.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to shootingstar67)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: The mouse trap - 11/7/2007 4:58:28 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveofKaos

This isn't a matter of sugar coating it's a matter of tact. There is a difference between being upfront, and honest--and being discourteous.


Tact is useful.

In certain situations. In other situations people will pick up anything, any little shred of phrasing, to continue whatever it was they were doing in the first place. When people believe that is going on they are going to phrase their words as directly and coldly as possible in hopes of a "water in your face" effect. It isn't nice. But it is sometimes what the other person needs, even if they don't like it and think everyone else is being a rude jerk.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to slaveofKaos)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: The mouse trap - 11/7/2007 4:58:29 AM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		You know, I didn't even get in on the bullying, but there's just something about that whine that makes me wish I had.

(in reply to slaveofKaos)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: The mouse trap - 11/7/2007 5:23:07 AM   
Aceton


Posts: 97
Joined: 9/2/2007
Status: offline 		Sometimes you don't even need the headlights. Sometimes the deer wanders into your living room, hands you the loaded shotgun, and points out a spot on the wall where its stuffed and mounted head might look quite nice. 


< Message edited by Aceton -- 11/7/2007 5:24:33 AM >

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: The mouse trap - 11/7/2007 5:29:49 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Pfft could be worse - you could be accused of being mod11...
(no offense mod11)
 
the.dark.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK

LOL

<3 awww.... 11 , you know we wuv you 

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: The mouse trap - 11/7/2007 6:23:32 AM   
Aceton


Posts: 97
Joined: 9/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

Pfft could be worse - you could be accused of being mod11...
(no offense mod11)
 
the.dark.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK

LOL

<3 awww.... 11 , you know we wuv you 


I get tingly when 11 chides us...

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: The mouse trap - 11/7/2007 6:24:57 AM   
bipolarber


Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline 		Online attacks? Here? On CM? SAY IT AIN'T SO!  LOL
All I can say is, you need to grow a thick skin. You'll find the most innocent of questions on this board will trigger some of the nastiest of responses at times. The Mods try to keep the flame wars in check, but it can still get pretty nasty before they step in, and quite often, they come down on the person who was provoked by others. Life ain't fair, and that goes doubly so for most online forums!

A word of caution: some parts of the message boards are worse at being impolite than others. If you show any sign of not being in absolute lockstep with some people's way of thinking, they will come down on you hard. They only seek echo chambers, NOT real discussion.  My suggestion is to just not bother with them.

(in reply to slaveofKaos)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: The mouse trap - 11/7/2007 9:14:49 AM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bipolarber
If you show any sign of not being in absolute lockstep with some people's way of thinking, they will come down on you hard. They only seek echo chambers, NOT real discussion.  My suggestion is to just not bother with them.


I don't know if you are agreeing with what I said (never mind I don't remember what I said) so you are now on my Watch List. ~narrowing her eyes~

(in reply to bipolarber)
Profile   Post #: 49
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