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RE: Do you hold a grudge over posts? - 11/7/2007 11:44:04 AM

bipolarber

Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline

I don't hold a grudge, no.

But sometimes the flame wars sure do wear me down. Recently I was insulted for being bi, for being a male submissive, my Domme was called an abomination, and my manhood was insulted. My crime? I offered a different opinion.

The thing I really hate is that so many folk online aren't really looking for honest discussion. They are looking for "yes men", for "echo chambers" of their own opinions. If you say something even slightly off key to what they believe, then suddenly they lay into you at full force. It's almost like the end of the Phil Kauffman remake of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" where Donald Sutherland suddenly points at the last remaining human member of the cast, and shrieks out an alarm, causeing the mob to come mow them down.

At times, it's depressing how low the "signal to noise" ratio gets.

(in reply to LadyLegs)

Post #: 21

RE: Do you hold a grudge over posts? - 11/7/2007 11:52:44 AM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

Nope never, although opinions are formed which admittedly are often are wrong when and if we have the pleasure of meeting in person. I love having my position's tested. I seek out the opportunity for that to occur. The resulting research and learning often strengthens those positions but sometimes they are changed. I do my best to learn something new every day and a conflicting position is often the source for that learning. I love a challenging position and enjoy the debate.

If a post or position effected me enough to hold a "grudge" or consider myself "insulted" it would be an indication to me that its time to turn off the computer.

That is way better written then anything I could come up with.

I try my best to take each post for the words in it and not about anything else. As the quoted above I might at times get a sense of a person through all their posts that my opinion of them might not be great but does not mean their words on the post are not something I agree with or makes me learn/open my eyes to something. Part of the enjoyment of a message board.

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 22

RE: Do you hold a grudge over posts? - 11/7/2007 12:26:07 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

/shrug
I am rude, obnoxious, cruel, and at times down right vicious. I have a very low tolerance for stupidity; I have said before, If I see bullshit; I call it bullshit. If it bothers others; too fucking bad. I am the way I am and will not change that to spare the feelings of someone.

This is the internet; it would be pretty insecure to become upset over something 'typed' about or to me. For that matter, I would have more respect for a person who gave back as good as they got without guilt or apologies over being outspoken.

Just me. But there it is.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to kdsub)

Post #: 23

RE: Do you hold a grudge over posts? - 11/7/2007 12:29:09 PM

Marc2b

Posts: 6660
Joined: 8/7/2006
Status: offline

Life is too short to hold grudges.

However...

That don’t mean I don’t get exasperated at ignorance, riled up over misjudgments of my character, or pissed off at snide remarks and personal attacks. In the case of the former I try to engage in meaningful debate while keeping in mind that perhaps (just perhaps), it was I who missed something. In the later case I ignore them. There is no point in trying to engage with a brain dead ideologue who doesn’t even bother to debate because he is convinced of his intellectual superiority and so only responds with denigrating insults. I figure you can get more intellectual honesty from a chimpanzee with a frontal lobotomy, so why bother?

I consider it a credit to the CM gang that so far there is only one poster who falls under my "don’t bother to talk to them" rule although there are a few borderline cases.

As for myself, I try not to let anger goad me into insults and usually succeed though there have been times when I was being tongue in cheek and have had it misinterpreted. As Lotus Song pointed out, that’s easy to do with the written word.

Only once was I deliberately nasty to someone but it had nothing to do with the poster I attacked (I chose him because I knew he had the gonads to take it). Rather, I was testing limits. I wanted to see if Mod 11 would swoop in and smack me (she didn’t).

_____________________________

Do you know what the most awesome thing about being an Atheist is? You're not required to hate anybody!

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 24

RE: Do you hold a grudge over posts? - 11/7/2007 12:32:45 PM

Lucylastic

Posts: 40310
Status: offline

I dont get into debates or issues much, probably because I have few "hot" buttons, trying at least to see other points of views on things and learning something from them, but there are about five people I just cannot help but get irritated by, two, that I cannot find anything nice about, but I still read their posts, dunno if that a maso streak I have or if Im trying to find a redeeming feature in their mental processes, which is basically all we have to go on in this medium. But if it came down to it, no I wouldnt hold it against them, or I try reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallly hard to give them the benefit of the doubt.....
and I agree with the lady above me*waves to toserves* its all part of the enjoyment of a message board, the dramas, the fights, the nuggets of wisdom, the excellent advice and hilarity of some comments that keep me coming back every day
Lucy
Edited for a smelling mistrake

< Message edited by Lucylastic -- 11/7/2007 12:35:12 PM >

_____________________________

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Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to toservez)

Post #: 25

RE: Do you hold a grudge over posts? - 11/7/2007 12:33:50 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

I dont hold grudges per se, largely because I dont give most people the opportunity to alter my emotional state. as Darth Vader told Rob Sheffield in Rolling Stone a few months back "Holding grudges is letting people live rent-free in your head."

I am more than willing to make evaluations of people, although I do this more from both a personal amusement sense and a professional sense; my job is to chip away at their fragile eggshell mind in order to strike at the soft underbelly, and then I get kicked in the testicles as hard as they can for my troubles. Not sure what getting kicked in the testicles has to do with holding grudges, but bear with me please.

On the other hand, on a thread where a person trashes my knowledge or sources or whatever, particularly with some completely irrelevant twaddle that has no relation to the topic at hand, and then refuses to be a big person and go "gee, I guess my post was idiotic," I feel almost honor bound to throw it back in their face each and every time they attempt to similarly attack me in the future. This is not holding a grudge because I am not emotionally engaged, I view it more from the Klingon standpoint of "Revenge is a dish best served cold."

In cases where I have been proven incorrect in the past, I have been more than willing to come out and concede the point to the other poster(s).

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to toservez)

Post #: 26

RE: Do you hold a grudge over posts? - 11/7/2007 12:35:08 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bipolarber

I don't hold a grudge, no.

But sometimes the flame wars sure do wear me down. Recently I was insulted for being bi, for being a male submissive, my Domme was called an abomination, and my manhood was insulted. My crime? I offered a different opinion.

The thing I really hate is that so many folk online aren't really looking for honest discussion. They are looking for "yes men", for "echo chambers" of their own opinions. If you say something even slightly off key to what they believe, then suddenly they lay into you at full force. It's almost like the end of the Phil Kauffman remake of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" where Donald Sutherland suddenly points at the last remaining human member of the cast, and shrieks out an alarm, causeing the mob to come mow them down.

At times, it's depressing how low the "signal to noise" ratio gets.

Oh, how well I know! LOL

(in reply to bipolarber)

Post #: 27

RE: Do you hold a grudge over posts? - 11/7/2007 12:43:59 PM

batshalom

Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline

Holding grudges, probably not. Approaching with careful observation, probably so.

(in reply to Lucylastic)

Post #: 28

RE: Do you hold a grudge over posts? - 11/7/2007 1:23:14 PM

SeeksOnlyOne

Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

not a bit......i love being made to think....even if i am thinking how dumb can they be to not see how right i am and how wrong they are!

seriously, some folks on here i tend to agree with almost everything about, some may have one subject that i wish i could pound why i see it differently, because, after all, i know i am right.....

and theres a few i read comments from just for entertainment value.....some entertainment makes me think, some makes me laugh, and some, like watching the jerry springer show, makes me feel mighty damn sane......

what makes it all special is i am sure i bring out all of the above in a few here and elsewhere.....were all different and all the same, and aint that just so much fun?

if i ever start carrying a grudge over anything someone on line says, ill disconnect my connection to the internet.......its entertainment.....period.

_____________________________

it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to kdsub)

Post #: 29

RE: Do you hold a grudge over posts? - 11/7/2007 2:12:04 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Speaking of entertainment.........what happened to Domiguy???????

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to SeeksOnlyOne)

Post #: 30

RE: Do you hold a grudge over posts? - 11/7/2007 2:13:18 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

He's prolly at a religious retreat over the Bob thing.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 31

RE: Do you hold a grudge over posts? - 11/7/2007 2:15:06 PM

NeedToUseYou

Posts: 2297
Joined: 12/24/2005
From: None of your business
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Speaking of entertainment.........what happened to Domiguy???????

I killed him, for pissing me off to much. I don't hold grudges either, I take them out.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 32

RE: Do you hold a grudge over posts? - 11/7/2007 2:30:57 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

YOU KILLED DOMIGUY?!?!?! Okay, NOW I am mad!

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to NeedToUseYou)

Post #: 33

RE: Do you hold a grudge over posts? - 11/7/2007 2:34:13 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

YOU KILLED DOMIGUY?!?!?! Okay, NOW I am mad!

Imagine how Domiguy feels.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 34

RE: Do you hold a grudge over posts? - 11/7/2007 2:48:50 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Rather.......dead......I suppose.

I feel bad, I didn't send flowers or anything.....

I hope subsuzie is okay.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 11/7/2007 2:49:13 PM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Sinergy)

Post #: 35

RE: Do you hold a grudge over posts? - 11/7/2007 2:49:30 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

No, of course not.
I just figure that everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
It is kind of fun to find common ground with people who you don't normally agree with.
I don't think anyone in here "wins" or "loses" arguments, we just express our opinions.
If someone is mean-spirited, disagreeable, or argumentative I just put them on "Block" and then I don't have to see anything they say.
I really do make an effort to not get "personal" with another poster, "don't kill the messenger" as it were.

_____________________________

"But Your Honor, this is not a Jury of my Peers, these people are all decent, honest, law-abiding citizens!"

(in reply to Sinergy)

Post #: 36

RE: Do you hold a grudge over posts? - 11/7/2007 3:10:45 PM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

No to the grudge holding. There are some here that are dipshits, but even they post something right, once in a great while.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to popeye1250)

Post #: 37

RE: Do you hold a grudge over posts? - 11/7/2007 4:56:29 PM

Griswold

Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub

I have noticed how vehemently some, including me, state or defend their positions in the forum. I tend to sometimes go overboard and use extreme sarcasm and a few times direct insults. In one post after I received a scathing reply to a post of mine I accused someone of throwing a temper tantrum and jumping up and down like a little kid. Way overboard…but I can honestly say I hold no grudges… in fact I defended that same posters position in another thread. I hope he forgives my reply in the heat of the battle…lol

Do most of you feel this way or do you take a posters position on a subject to heart. Rather than thinking of it as a discussion on differing views do you hold a grudge or assign a derogatory personality to the poster and think of them that way in all future posts?

I don't even know how you could BELIEVE that SHIT!!!!!

I fucking HATE YOU!!!!!

(I feel better now).

(in reply to kdsub)

Post #: 38

RE: Do you hold a grudge over posts? - 11/7/2007 4:59:06 PM

kdsub

Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline

Thanks Gris...I needed that...

... I also like humiliation...and glad I could help you get it out of your system.

Butch

(in reply to Griswold)

Post #: 39

RE: Do you hold a grudge over posts? - 11/7/2007 5:08:56 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

That's what the block button is for. If I find someone's views offensive, I put them on block. And once on, almost never off.

(in reply to astarri)

Post #: 40

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