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Submissive role models - 11/7/2007 2:45:26 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		I was thinking about whether or not there are any good "submissive role models" for men.  If submissive men look to the way men are portrayed in femdom porn, I think a lot of us would be frustrated and disappointed.  I don't think many femdoms want their partners to act and behave the way most submissive men do in BDSM porn (designed to appeal to submissive men).

What about in popular culture?  If a novice submissive man came to you and asked who you would identify as a good role model for a submissive man, what would you tell him?

Akasha

< Message edited by AAkasha -- 11/7/2007 2:46:10 PM >

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RE: Submissive role models - 11/7/2007 2:52:47 PM   
MystressDream


Posts: 345
Joined: 7/11/2004
From: Colorado
Status: offline 		I don't look at a lot of BDSM porn, however I do produce videos of real people doing real scenes.... no actors... no scripts... just the real deal.  Most of our videos are FemDom.  I would suggest some of you take a look at the selection if you wish to see what it is really like out there for some of us.  These are obviously geared for people who are interested in observing others in action... to maybe pick up a few new ideas. 
 
www.enclaveproductions.com
 
The BDSM porn I have seen is just so fake, that to use it to try to find a "role model" seems futile.

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RE: Submissive role models - 11/7/2007 2:58:48 PM   
pageturned


Posts: 24
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		I don't believe in role models. I think everyone is different, and every relationship is different, so role models aren't really useful. So, if a novice submissive man came to a Domme and asked that question, I'd suggest to tell him to forget about models and be himself ...
Page

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RE: Submissive role models - 11/7/2007 3:28:39 PM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		Any good looking breed of large dog should provide a useful example I feel
- loyal, loving, appreciative
- knows who the Alpha bitch is, and that she's head of the pack
- will serve, please and protect the Alpha bitch to the death
- has glossy coat

though that is perhaps the limit of the example. Other features may be available on male homo sapiens which are not available on a dog which make him preferable.

ability to cook, for example

E

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RE: Submissive role models - 11/7/2007 4:21:55 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

Any good looking breed of large dog should provide a useful example I feel
- loyal, loving, appreciative
- knows who the Alpha bitch is, and that she's head of the pack
- will serve, please and protect the Alpha bitch to the death
- has glossy coat

though that is perhaps the limit of the example. Other features may be available on male homo sapiens which are not available on a dog which make him preferable.

ability to cook, for example

E


This is an interesting way to look at it.  But it still begs the question: What kind of a "man" does a femdom want?  Unfortunately, it's hard to find role models who are submissive in popular culture - I mean, I know there are, but I can't think of any. I am thinking what it probably entails is a man who is not submissive (necessarily) but is SUBMITTING, and does it with character and pride.  I'll think on this a few days and come up with examples.

But as an example by turning it around, you could say "femdom role models" do come in popular culture.  A couple that come to mind all reflect a different "style" but each dominates a man in some way:

Susan Sarandon as Annie Savoy in "Bull Durham" - playful, demanding, vulnerable
Linda Floren-whatshername in "Last Seduction" - cruel, relentless, cold, sexual
Catwoman!! In the old Batman tv show - seductive, cool, self confident
...hell, even Alyson Hannigan's chracter in "American Pie"

OH!  Here's one for the "submissive role model" category, in an abstract way. Edward Scissorhands.
How about Elijah Wood's character in The Lord of the Rings - but only if you pretend the other hobbit he protects is a woman? (reaching).

Lloyd Dobler (John Cusack) in "Say Anything."

Anyone see it?

Akasha


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RE: Submissive role models - 11/7/2007 4:50:13 PM   
Dilseachd


Posts: 53
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Do you mean Sean Astin's character?...Sam?  I think thats a good role model.  Loyal and always there even when the going is VERY hard.  I have always thought Sam was the most noble character in LOTR...moreso than Aragorn, Gandalf, or any of those Elven Lords.  I do have a very "feudal kink" mentality though so I have always identified with the loyal Knight  serving with honor and dignity.  There are some characters from other books I could list, but would perhaps be changing the topic.  As for a new submissive asking me if there is a good role model goes..*smirks*...I would say yea..ME.

Regards to all,
Dils

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RE: Submissive role models - 11/7/2007 4:50:44 PM   
petdave


Posts: 2479
Status: offline 		Wesley in The Princess Bride, when he was the stable boy.
As You wish

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RE: Submissive role models - 11/7/2007 4:52:39 PM   
Dilseachd


Posts: 53
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Oh...good choice petdave.  :)   Good luck storming the castle boys!!

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RE: Submissive role models - 11/7/2007 4:57:28 PM   
ExpressiveSoul1


Posts: 13
Joined: 8/22/2007
Status: offline 		I agree, good choice petdave, Wesley is a fabulous representation.

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RE: Submissive role models - 11/7/2007 5:08:26 PM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

Any good looking breed of large dog should provide a useful example I feel
- loyal, loving, appreciative
- knows who the Alpha bitch is, and that she's head of the pack
- will serve, please and protect the Alpha bitch to the death
- has glossy coat

though that is perhaps the limit of the example. Other features may be available on male homo sapiens which are not available on a dog which make him preferable.

ability to cook, for example

E


*smile, Amen to that!

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RE: Submissive role models - 11/7/2007 5:20:56 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		That's a very good question and a tough one.  I think each Domme has in her mind what would be a good example of a male submissive role model and if Were a guy, I'd ask her for her concept.
 
For me, it's someone with the ability to laugh at himself.  Someone who stands tall and proud.  Someone who takes care of himself.  Someone who will not embarrass me.  As far as a concrete example, all I can give are those that present themselves with a certain aura that I pick up on. 
 
Today I was watching an interview with Steven Baldwin.  He exuded that aura to me.  I think it's an aura of confidence that I find most attractive.  Greg Berehnd (but that hair would have to be restyled IMMEDIATELY) and yes, Dannie Bonaduchi- he has a vulnerability and needs healing.
 
For me.. those are just a few..

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RE: Submissive role models - 11/7/2007 5:37:56 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Marcus from "Babylon 5" is one of the models I have seen in recent years. Strong, confident yet clearly willing and able to follow the woman he respects and loves.

< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 11/7/2007 5:38:10 PM >

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RE: Submissive role models - 11/7/2007 5:51:09 PM   
bipolarber


Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline 		Hummm... Sting in "Brimstone and Treacle"

Wesley in Princess Bride... (agreed, one of the best examples, showing you can be submissive, and heroic)

Igor in the "Frankenstien" films (although accident prone, and way too switchy when it comes to fire play...)

Smithers from The Simpsons (if gay)

Mr. Slave from South Park (again, if gay)

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer (takes crap from other "macho" deer, but puts his resentment aside to serve Santa when the going gets tough.)

Cary Grant in "The Bishops' Wife"

Mr. Spock on Trek (bisexual)

Alan Shore from Boston Legal (a horn dog, yes, but definitely in service to the women before the other males on the show)

Angel from Buffy.

Vincent from Beauty and the Beast









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RE: Submissive role models - 11/7/2007 6:06:57 PM   
petdave


Posts: 2479
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

For me, it's someone with the ability to laugh at himself.  Someone who stands tall and proud.  Someone who takes care of himself.  Someone who will not embarrass me. 


That's kinda cheating, though... i mean, you're back to stuff that all women want. Pop-culture-wise, you could use James Bond as an example, but there's nothing submissive there.

bipolarbarber- i thought of Mr. Smithers, but figured he was a bit too fawning for most.

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RE: Submissive role models - 11/7/2007 6:37:29 PM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		I would point him to courtly tales of the medieval (masochistic) knights.  Those guys embodied everything we should be.  They loved the suffering they endured for their ladies.  I would also tell them about my late friend Wendell.  He was everything a slave should be.  Gourmet cook, successful businessman, he had the manners of a butler and the hide of a rhino.

< Message edited by slavekal -- 11/7/2007 6:39:39 PM >

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RE: Submissive role models - 11/7/2007 6:44:28 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		There are several men in the local Detroit scene that I point out to newbs as utter GODS of submissive maleness.  I am stumped when it comes to pop culture references...  Spike from Buffy?  He had Drusilla and Buffy both, lucky guy. 

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RE: Submissive role models - 11/7/2007 6:45:57 PM   
AFlyInYourWeb


Posts: 284
Joined: 8/30/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

Any good looking breed of large dog should provide a useful example I feel
- loyal, loving, appreciative
- knows who the Alpha bitch is, and that she's head of the pack
- will serve, please and protect the Alpha bitch to the death
- has glossy coat

though that is perhaps the limit of the example. Other features may be available on male homo sapiens which are not available on a dog which make him preferable.

ability to cook, for example

E


The ability to speak? Woof!

Actually, popular culture is generally devoid of such role models.  I guess that is why each Domina has to "roll their own" with each sub from scratch.

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RE: Submissive role models - 11/7/2007 10:11:00 PM   
aidan


Posts: 904
Joined: 5/28/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

There are several men in the local Detroit scene that I point out to newbs as utter GODS of submissive maleness.  I am stumped when it comes to pop culture references...  Spike from Buffy?  He had Drusilla and Buffy both, lucky guy. 

Naah, if anything Spike was the dominant with Buffy. I think it's more likely they both just liked it rough and bitey.

I'm racking my brain trying to think of examples other than the good ones listed so far (Marcus, Wesley), and not coming up with much. In all my knowledge of books, movies, television, video games and comics, I the only one that springs to mind is Wesley. I can't claime Marcus, since I've never seen an episode of Babylon 5.

If I ever get to be a famous novelist, I'll have to remedy this appalling lack of submissive male rolemodels.


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RE: Submissive role models - 11/8/2007 4:43:12 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Mr. Spock comes to mind, I love that character ..he is so smart, calm and devoted. He follows orders to the letter and has those sexy pointed ears.

From Lord of the Rings Legolas came across to me as submissive, strong, mentally quick, loyal and submissive.

Commander Data came across to me as submissive and I am sure he was giving that blond haired chick (cannot recall her name) exactly what she wanted.

~Lashra


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RE: Submissive role models - 11/8/2007 5:54:00 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: aidan

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

There are several men in the local Detroit scene that I point out to newbs as utter GODS of submissive maleness. I am stumped when it comes to pop culture references... Spike from Buffy? He had Drusilla and Buffy both, lucky guy.

Naah, if anything Spike was the dominant with Buffy. I think it's more likely they both just liked it rough and bitey.

I'm racking my brain trying to think of examples other than the good ones listed so far (Marcus, Wesley), and not coming up with much. In all my knowledge of books, movies, television, video games and comics, I the only one that springs to mind is Wesley. I can't claime Marcus, since I've never seen an episode of Babylon 5.

If I ever get to be a famous novelist, I'll have to remedy this appalling lack of submissive male rolemodels.



Wow I have to completely disagree.

If you want the character of Spike with women throughout his life I saw a man who was driven to please women and serve women. If that meant getting a bit rough for her it was still all about her.

Of course with Buffy she wasn't doing Spike for the best reasons though I think after he got his soul she could have developed honest feelings for him.

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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