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Taking Charge of a Submissive - 11/7/2007 4:46:43 PM   
Blaakmaan


Posts: 374
Joined: 5/21/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings, Submissives:

Proceeding on the theory that the only stupid question is the one that isn't asked, here's my stupid question:

When an officer takes command of troops, he starts giving orders to move the troops towards an objective, whether that's attacking the enemy or cleaning the barracks.  The officer gives orders, the troops obey, and the officer has taken command.

When a Dominant finds a submissive he wants (and who hopefully wants him), how does he take charge of the submissive?

What should he do?  What actions should he take to receive her submission?

Dominants are, of course, welcome to reply.

Thanks to all.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Taking Charge of a Submissive - 11/7/2007 5:03:10 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		Ask her to do something, wait for results.

And it's kink dude-not the military.

< Message edited by RRafe -- 11/7/2007 5:07:14 PM >

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to Blaakmaan)
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RE: Taking Charge of a Submissive - 11/7/2007 5:25:55 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Be himself?

I dunno, that's what Valyraen did.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Blaakmaan)
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RE: Taking Charge of a Submissive - 11/7/2007 5:36:05 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		if you start off with "on your knees now, bitch, and suck my cock", don't expect the desired results you're hoping for.

i like Aqua's idea of being yourself because that's how Daddy took charge of me.


_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to Blaakmaan)
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RE: Taking Charge of a Submissive - 11/7/2007 5:38:43 PM   
Blaakmaan


Posts: 374
Joined: 5/21/2007
Status: offline 		Yeah, I know. The military is clearer (and less risky)!

Ask her to do something like what?

Come to attention and salute?

Give me a specific, if you can.

By the way, this is a long-distance relationship, at least for now...

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Taking Charge of a Submissive - 11/7/2007 6:13:36 PM   
southernhart


Posts: 120
Joined: 9/27/2007
Status: offline 		i can only tell You how it happened with me. We started out vanilla the first few corresspndences. He never asked me to, but out of my respect for him i called him, Sir in the e-mails. He was pleased with my manners. Then we spoke on the phone and he said something like " Wnen you go out tonight, make sure you stay safe. Is that clear?" His tone of voice changed a ittle bit when he said is that clear?
i answered "Yes, Sir" and that;s what began it all. It was as simple as that.

(in reply to Blaakmaan)
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RE: Taking Charge of a Submissive - 11/7/2007 6:22:35 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan


When a Dominant finds a submissive he wants (and who hopefully wants him), how does he take charge of the submissive?

What should he do?  What actions should he take to receive her submission?



I'd advise against putting the cart before the horse. You seldom get very far. How about arranging a real time meeting to see if the chemistry you have with one another online exists in person as well?

One of the first things that Master did was pull my hair. That worked really well on me.. with another women, it might get you a trip to the doctor and adoption as an only option to having kids. In other words, we're all different, so best to be who you are, act how you act and if she's into you for who you are, the rest will work itself out.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Blaakmaan)
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RE: Taking Charge of a Submissive - 11/7/2007 6:28:48 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Ask first how that soldier came to be in that command?  Start at the beginning, not in the middle.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Taking Charge of a Submissive - 11/7/2007 6:29:08 PM   
HottLicks


Posts: 174
Joined: 9/21/2007
Status: offline 		If you just want someone to tell what to do... do it.

If you want a relationship and depth... keep reading the boards... read online, in books... hell... watch a movie or two and pay attention to others who live this.  It isn't just a matter of being a boss or in control of someone in most situations. 

As far as I am concerned, there is a lot of responsibility involved and there needs to be a foundation laid... communication, respect, trust and a show of worthiness on both sides.  There isn't a thing wrong with being new to it all or not knowing, but as a dominant, you take another person's life in hand when you decide to rule thier life to whatever degree agreed upon.  Just as it should be in the military.  You are responsible for those under you.

(in reply to southernhart)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Taking Charge of a Submissive - 11/7/2007 7:14:41 PM   
lilrissa


Posts: 17
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		Be Yourself, be very clear on Your intentions for her and expectations of her.  That is if You know she is submissive and a willing one at that.  Start off vanilla, get to know each other

(in reply to Blaakmaan)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Taking Charge of a Submissive - 11/7/2007 7:16:18 PM   
Tigrita


Posts: 484
Joined: 8/16/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Sorry, I ran out of coppies of  Domination by Numbers to send you. 

Come on man, you've either got it or you don't.  If you have to ask how, then guess what...

_____________________________

~ Tigrita

There is no right path, only the path you take.

Success is making life happen, versus just letting life happen to you.

"Many of the things I enjoy, I enjoy because I don't enjoy them." - Charlotte

(in reply to HottLicks)
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RE: Taking Charge of a Submissive - 11/7/2007 7:18:28 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

When a Dominant finds a submissive he wants (and who hopefully wants him), how does he take charge of the submissive?

Discover exactly what she wants and needs from the relationship; figure out exactly what you want and need from the relationship.... and then start with that.

quote:

  What should he do?  What actions should he take to receive her submission?


What ever the both of you are comfortable with

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to Blaakmaan)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Taking Charge of a Submissive - 11/7/2007 7:26:43 PM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		LA's response is dead on...

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Ask first how that soldier came to be in that command?  Start at the beginning, not in the middle.


There's a lot that happens before that soldier ends up in a command.

What type of relationship you are seeking... both of you?  What does she want to get out of it?  What do you want?  Are "commands" even necessary?  Is she any less a submissive if she's not following an order?  Are you any less a dominant if you aren't making demands?

Just things to think about. 

Edited to add:

lol... mist, you beat me to it.


< Message edited by TreasureKY -- 11/7/2007 7:27:50 PM >

(in reply to Blaakmaan)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Taking Charge of a Submissive - 11/7/2007 7:37:41 PM   
yuppergirl


Posts: 3
Joined: 10/8/2007
Status: offline 		You just do it .thier are alot of Doms in my search i find are very take charge.i have had Doms tell me from the very start i mean the very first emial that when i talk to them i must have my legs open or no socks on ........LOL.Best one yet is i was to kneel in front of the computer when i spoke to them,yeah right Pal good luck to that one,yeah im dooing that......Dont be an ass about it get to know the person then after talking to them you can kind of feel them and what will go and what wont.....I also have a Dom i talk to on AOl,that always asks me how are my pussy lips today and then proceed to tell me what i should and should not do that day.........ah hello???? If hes not your Dom /Master he has no right to tell you to do anything.....but always be respectfull they are still Doms and you are just a sub.....i always talk to others by email and say Sir to them they do like that..But my Master is always MY SIR...but geting back to the question.....LOL........You will have to just get to know the person and take it from thier,You can do as my Master did with me as we got to talk He said i want to give you a nickname He said you are my pet now....He told me didnt ask me.and i automatically said yes my Sir....see it's also respect on both parts....Belive me if you talk the first time and start telling her get on your knees now bitch its not going to go well for you.........peace.yuppergirl

(in reply to Tigrita)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Taking Charge of a Submissive - 11/7/2007 7:44:12 PM   
sylkenkitten


Posts: 335
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline 		Be yourself. I've learned that it's about the person, if there's that chemistry that underlying link that makes me want to just.. kneel for them.. it's not what you say it's what you don't say ..it's not what you do..it's what you don't do... and more..it's how you act...

Meet RT.. get to know each other.. whatch it evolve...

(in reply to yuppergirl)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Taking Charge of a Submissive - 11/7/2007 7:47:21 PM   
SoHott


Posts: 80
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: southernhart

i can only tell You how it happened with me. We started out vanilla the first few corresspndences. He never asked me to, but out of my respect for him i called him, Sir in the e-mails. He was pleased with my manners. Then we spoke on the phone and he said something like " Wnen you go out tonight, make sure you stay safe. Is that clear?" His tone of voice changed a ittle bit when he said is that clear?
i answered "Yes, Sir" and that;s what began it all. It was as simple as that.


this girl thinks this is wonderful advice!!!

_____________________________

If everything in life was free
We'd float in our own reverie
The things that you can't seem to see
seal the gap between you and me

(in reply to southernhart)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Taking Charge of a Submissive - 11/7/2007 7:56:12 PM   
chickpea


Posts: 446
Joined: 8/3/2005
From: Los Angeles Area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sylkenkitten

Be yourself. I've learned that it's about the person, if there's that chemistry that underlying link that makes me want to just.. kneel for them.. it's not what you say it's what you don't say ..it's not what you do..it's what you don't do... and more..it's how you act...

Meet RT.. get to know each other.. whatch it evolve...



Oooo, sounds both fun and delicious!

(in reply to sylkenkitten)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Taking Charge of a Submissive - 11/7/2007 8:00:18 PM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan
When a Dominant finds a submissive he wants (and who hopefully wants him), how does he take charge of the submissive?


He communicates with her, he finds out if the attraction is mutual, and they build a relationship based on compatability and trust, etc.  As for 'taking charge' thats a relative term. It depends on the level of submission that will be there, how far they are from each other, etc.

quote:


What should he do?  What actions should he take to receive her submission?


Be himself, be kind, he honest and open, show he is worthy of her trust and devotion, communicate; do NOT play games. The same things he would do in a vanilla relationship.

_____________________________

http://slaverosebeauty.livejournal.com/

"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

(in reply to Blaakmaan)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Taking Charge of a Submissive - 11/7/2007 8:02:39 PM   
sylkenkitten


Posts: 335
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline 		~smiles~ It is ~winks~

(in reply to chickpea)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Taking Charge of a Submissive - 11/7/2007 8:08:51 PM   
MissSCD


Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline 		Blackmaan:

There are several things you can do.  First, I would need to know if this is online or real/time relationship.   If it is real time, the training process of the submissive would be very different that online.
In reality, some of the training can be done on line like studying definitions, learning positions, etc, etc,.
It sounds like you are a new Dom.   I would advise talking  with other Dom/mes around the scene in order to become more comfortable with your skills.
Then, I would strongly suggest that you locate a BDSM club in your area to learn skills such as flogging, bondage, edge play, etc.
That is how I did it.

Best of luck to you.

My regards, MissSCD

(in reply to sylkenkitten)
Profile   Post #: 20
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