Spousal rape, Can husbands rape their wives? (Full Version)

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MzMia -> Spousal rape, Can husbands rape their wives? (11/7/2007 10:03:14 PM)

Okay, sitting here waiting for the late night showing of the "Oprah" show.
The subject tonight is spousal rape, which I have always found fascinating.
One of the guests is a beauty queen that was raped by her husband.
Beauty Queen Raped by Her Husband 

This particular man got 52 years in prison,sentenced reduced to 22 years.

Many men are going to jail for raping their wives, many for life.

What do you think about this topic?



NeedToUseYou -> RE: Spousal rape, Can husbands rape their wives? (11/7/2007 10:09:52 PM)

Well, I think it depends on the beliefs of those involved in the marriage are. If they have the belief that is prevelant in many cultures, in that the man has sexual rights to his wife. Then No. But of course in that case the wife would never claim rape either, because she'd believe that more than likely, as well. In the US, it is possible, but my natural tendency is to believe it is just as likely an easy way to disparage an ex. People have been known to claim everything under the sun, after a bad relationship.

I'd have to know the specifics of the claim, far more than is probably available, to hold such an accusation as truth. I'm sure it happens, but I'm equally as sure many claims would be false.



maidheather -> RE: Spousal rape, Can husbands rape their wives? (11/7/2007 10:13:46 PM)

Well, if we're for the most part big on SSC (Safe Sane Consentual) is there no reason to think that the same would apply outside of the lifestyle?

If the woman does not consent to having sex, then that would be wrong. Just like for BDSMers if someone doesn't consent to having a single tail used on them, it would be wrong.

~drops 2 cents in the jar and walks off, whistling to herself~



Aceton -> RE: Spousal rape, Can husbands rape their wives? (11/7/2007 10:15:45 PM)

Of course they can. They can rape their wives the same way they can beat them, or in extreme cases kill them. The marriage contract does not guarantee an everwet pussy.

(Crude, but you get my drift...)



MzMia -> RE: Spousal rape, Can husbands rape their wives? (11/7/2007 10:16:12 PM)

Well he beat her, raped her, and degraded her for 3 1/2 hours.
The sex was not consensual.
The laws have changed, the courts take these cases seriously now.
Hummm, well he is gone for life now.



twistedwillow -> RE: Spousal rape, Can husbands rape their wives? (11/7/2007 10:29:45 PM)

I think this is a double edged sword. Reading the article it seems clear to me that in deed the women were raped, abused, terrorised.
But on the flip side, if I and my partner have a domestic and he takes me to bed and gives me whatfor sexually ...that tiny little masochist inside me is going ohhh yeahh[:D].... and then everything is back to normal the next day then I wouldn't count that as rape, perhaps its consentual nonconsentual rape?
I think there is a difference between 'that' kind of rape, and terrorise the shit out of someone rape.
Sorry I'm not being more concise, it's hard to put in words what I mean, perhaps someone else will do better.

twisted



slavegirljoy -> RE: Spousal rape, Can husbands rape their wives? (11/7/2007 10:31:15 PM)

Marital rape is a crime: a husband may be prosecuted for a rape he committed on his wife while he was living with her.

As of July 5, 1993, marital rape became a crime in all 50 states, in at least one section of the sexual offense codes, usually regarding force.  Such marital privileges are also extended to unmarried cohabitants who sexually attack their partners in CT, DE, IA, MN & WV.

Wife Rape is the term used to describe sexual acts committed without a person's consent and/or against a person's will by a woman's husband or ex husband. Sexual acts may be committed through physical force, threats of force against her or a third person, or implied harm based on prior assaults causing the woman to fear that physical force will be used if she resists.

When a woman submits to sexual acts out of fear or coercion, it is rape.

“More than 1 in every 7 women who have ever been married have been raped in marriage!”  --Diana Russell, Rape in Marriage, Indiana University Press, 1990

National Violence Against Women Prevention Research Center Wellesley Centers for Women,

This isn't my opinion.  This is the law in the U.S.A.

slave joy
Owned property of Master David



MzMia -> RE: Spousal rape, Can husbands rape their wives? (11/7/2007 10:34:55 PM)

The funny thing is, when I listen to the acts I was thinking many women here
would enjoy a lot of this.
 
It appears MOST of these men were attempting to get their wives to "perform" acts they
were not comfortable with, this is really fascinating.

The key word is:  CONSENTUAL



slavegirljoy -> RE: Spousal rape, Can husbands rape their wives? (11/7/2007 10:41:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia
The key word is:  CONSENTUAL

That would be the word, except that the law doesn't recognize a person's right to consent to being assaulted.  So, as with many of the activities that we engage in, within a consensual BDSM relationship, it is really a matter of being honest about what you really want and making sure (as sure as you can be, any way) that the person you are with is someone of character, who will honor what it is you want. 
 
slave joy
Owned property of Master David



came4U -> RE: Spousal rape, Can husbands rape their wives? (11/7/2007 10:44:43 PM)

C'mon, some people live or have lived that situation as on Oprah as daily life.  These guests were not bdsm, they both were naive with their own predispositions that led them to either do or accept (for a limited period of time). They married nuts!

These guys were insecure dweebs that have learned how to manipulate others at a previous date or learned specific techniques for the spouse they had.  This type (seen them before, they are laughably weak to me) has mental issues and I wouldn't tolerate them for 10 minutes.

The recieve no joy from the 'acts' they enforce others to endure, they actually enjoy the balance inner stress and conflict within themselves.  Another reason why those with a percepted potential for bi-polar, skitzoid etc etc personalities would NOT bypass the nutcase-detector within me.

They do enjoy the attention they cause during the abusive event, not a sadistic enjoyment, nor sexual, but a deep and sad emotionally-void need to have witness to their personal pain/s.

Actual slaves, on the other hand are non-complainers. The 'do the duty of the day and hush' type. 

I feel bad for the gals, they had no idea initially (despite subtle warnings) what they were getting into.  They married the typical 'nicest guy you'd ever meet' syndrome. *barf.

Perhaps I lived it daily, you learn to accept as 'a way of pleasing' or you hightail it far away.

The difference lies (in reference to bdsm) when/if we choose to be someone of such value to another or if it is all a big surprise down the road later. In bdsm, the best one can do is enjoy it while till the ride-ticket causes conflict that bars a couple from satisfaction-complete (to either, at any time). 

I would rather make my own choice and not be influenced by some shmuk who claims to be the 'America's sweetheart' type. 




GrizzlyBear -> RE: Spousal rape, Can husbands rape their wives? (11/7/2007 11:36:57 PM)

What's to think?  Slavery is illegal, at least in the USA, and wives are no longer property either.  Rape is sexual intercourse without consent.  Nothing in law says that wives have given up their right not to consent, any more than a "slave contract" says that a "slave" has given up the right to withhold or revoke consent.



Gwynvyd -> RE: Spousal rape, Can husbands rape their wives? (11/8/2007 12:01:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

Well he beat her, raped her, and degraded her for 3 1/2 hours.
The sex was not consensual.
The laws have changed, the courts take these cases seriously now.
Hummm, well he is gone for life now.


Of course you can rape your spouse, or girlfriend. No means no damn it.
This sorry excuse for a human is damn lucky he didnt come up against any of the women in my family. We were all taught that the second a man raises his hand to us, you take his punk ass out so he doesnt dare do it to another woman. They tend to think twice after that.

I dont care what society you are in the way it should move twords is when a woman says no, she means no. No human being is ment to be chattle to be done with however with out thier consent.

Glad I didnt see Oprah today suddenly. Human injustice like this pisses me off to no end. (having worked at a rape/battered woman shelter as a volunteer I have seen far too much)

Gwyn



CuriousLord -> RE: Spousal rape, Can husbands rape their wives? (11/8/2007 12:02:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

Okay, sitting here waiting for the late night showing of the "Oprah" show.
The subject tonight is spousal rape, which I have always found fascinating.
One of the guests is a beauty queen that was raped by her husband.
Beauty Queen Raped by Her Husband 

This particular man got 52 years in prison,sentenced reduced to 22 years.

Many men are going to jail for raping their wives, many for life.

What do you think about this topic?


It freaks me out that sentences in rape cases can be so extreme, so I'm often paranoid that some bitter ex will eventually bring one against me and that the "don't let rapists get away with it!" sentiment would negate the requirement for actual evidence amounting to proof.

Then again, my fear that it'd go too far shouldn't deter cases where it can be proven.

Life sentences seem extreme to me.  Then again, I think most sentenses (outside of murder and such) strike me as excessive.

Ah wells.  No strong stand at the moment, just those general feelings.



Eru -> RE: Spousal rape, Can husbands rape their wives? (11/8/2007 12:27:48 AM)

"Spousal rape, Can husbands rape their wives? "

Can they as in is it possible, of course.
Can they as in is it within their rights to do so, of course not.
What century are you living in to even ask this question?

"Well, I think it depends on the beliefs of those involved in the marriage are. "

No, it depends on the laws and level of civilisation. In any civilised culture rape is rape, no matter who commits it or who the victim is.

"But on the flip side, if I and my partner have a domestic and he takes me to bed and gives me whatfor sexually ...that tiny little masochist inside me is going ohhh yeahh.... and then everything is back to normal the next day then I wouldn't count that as rape, perhaps its consentual nonconsentual rape?"

That only works for some (not all) people in the lifestyle. Anywhere else it would be rape and the husband would be lucky if the wife didn't take it further.

"It freaks me out that sentences in rape cases can be so extreme"

It freaks me out when anyone thinks rape sentancing is too extreme. The first thought in my head is that they are afraid of getting caught? Sorry if this doesn't apply, but it is the first thought when anyone complains about sentances being too long for any major crime.



OwnerSeeking -> RE: Spousal rape, Can husbands rape their wives? (11/8/2007 12:40:24 AM)

Questions like this one are always easy to answer if you turn it around....  If you are a married man, go to bed, then wake up, handcuffed to the bed, and your wife is coming at you with a strap on....   You are saying "stop" and "no" because you REALLY don't want what is about to happen, and she ignores you...   is that rape?  Would you feel violated? 



Alumbrado -> RE: Spousal rape, Can husbands rape their wives? (11/8/2007 1:08:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavegirljoy

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia
The key word is:  CONSENTUAL

That would be the word, except that the law doesn't recognize a person's right to consent to being assaulted.  So, as with many of the activities that we engage in, within a consensual BDSM relationship, it is really a matter of being honest about what you really want and making sure (as sure as you can be, any way) that the person you are with is someone of character, who will honor what it is you want. 
 
slave joy
Owned property of Master David



You are saying that it is sexual assault even when consent is given?  Sorry, but that is completely wrong.  The law very specifically addresses consent or lack of it as one of the elements of the crime.



meatcleaver -> RE: Spousal rape, Can husbands rape their wives? (11/8/2007 1:27:47 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alumbrado

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavegirljoy

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia
The key word is:  CONSENTUAL

That would be the word, except that the law doesn't recognize a person's right to consent to being assaulted.  So, as with many of the activities that we engage in, within a consensual BDSM relationship, it is really a matter of being honest about what you really want and making sure (as sure as you can be, any way) that the person you are with is someone of character, who will honor what it is you want. 
 
slave joy
Owned property of Master David



You are saying that it is sexual assault even when consent is given?  Sorry, but that is completely wrong.  The law very specifically addresses consent or lack of it as one of the elements of the crime.


My guess this would depend in what country you are and you also have to be of sound mind to consent, a grey area and a defence a good lawyer can rip to pieces. In Britain some BDSMers have been prosecuted and found guilty for GBH (greivous bodily harm) having consented.

The problem with rape as with any other sexual activity, where there is no obvious evidence of a crime it is all down to her word against his word and that is subject to political fashion. For years (and it can still be) difficult for a woman to win a rape charge on just her word against his but now the political fashion has swung somewhat in favour of the woman and the woman is more likely to be believed in many cases than the man. It all depends on who the jury believes. We like to think that people are found guilty or not guilty on the evidence but any cursory study of a common law legal system will find out that is not the case, it is about influencing the emotions of the jury.



MadameMarque -> RE: Spousal rape, Can husbands rape their wives? (11/8/2007 1:42:52 AM)

Thank you, Sanity.



untrainedKajira -> RE: Spousal rape, Can husbands rape their wives? (11/8/2007 1:45:50 AM)

nea has been raped in a previous relationship which was vaniila, the Man who did is still walking the streets looking for her.
nea is not afraid to admit that she is scared but it was the rape that had shown her, her true calling, so though it maybe illegal, sometimes its nessesary



Lashra -> RE: Spousal rape, Can husbands rape their wives? (11/8/2007 4:50:35 AM)

Yes they can, when a woman (or man) says NO, she means NO. Regardless what some people may think our bodies belong to us and we have a right to say who can or cannot touch them in an intimate way. My Mother was a victim of spouse rape, her 1st husband used it as a way to "teach" her to do things his way, he did it in front of my half brother to teach him how to make a woman do what a man wanted Nice guy huh? No wonder my half brother is in and out of mental institutions/jail.

But this isn't a thing that happens only to women, it happens to men too, mainly gay men. It is a disgusting thing that is not sexual in nature, but too dominate and control the victim.

~Lashra



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