How do you cope with Frenzy

How do you cope with Frenzy (Full Version)

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shootingstar67 -> How do you cope with Frenzy (11/8/2007 6:23:12 PM)
I was reading this article by the brillant Mistress Steel on sub frenzies ( I post it here case you are a newbe like me and want to read the article) http://www.steel-door.com/Frenzies.html She said that all unattached submissives experience frenzy but deal with it different (some play with a dom friend till it passes) I am wondering: Assuming you are single and looking, how do you deal with moments of frenzy?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: How do you cope with Frenzy (11/8/2007 7:15:09 PM)
The best thing to do I have found is turn off the computer, get off the phone, and go exhaust yourself with exercise or some other physical non sexual activity.

peppermint -> RE: How do you cope with Frenzy (11/8/2007 7:49:39 PM)
I've mentored several new submissives. Each has gone through the Frenzy. The commonality between them was that they all thought if they didn't meet and play with the particular Dom they were talking with at that moment then they'd never ever find anyone to do this stuff with. Heck...they all thought the Dom they were talking with was the ONLY Dom. They all found out they were wrong. Their first choice of Dom ended up being a bad choice, even though i explained why their choice was not a good one. Thankfully they all were able to rebound from that first bad choice. I do sometimes think about those who didn't have someone to talk with...those that made a bad first choice and never had the courage to try again. I was fortunate when i was a newbie. I was not in a position to act upon my needs. That gave me time to grow, mature, and begin to understand what my needs are. By the time i was in a postion to meet real people in the community i'd been researching, participating in forums, and talking with full time BDSMers for 3 years.

slaveluci -> RE: How do you cope with Frenzy (11/8/2007 8:26:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shootingstar67 She said that all unattached submissives experience frenzy but deal with it different (some play with a dom friend till it passes) I think saying that ALL submissives (unattached or not) do anything is wrong. ALL submissives are human beings and all human beings don't act the same. All men, women, races, auto mechanics, whathaveyou's do not act the same. Therefore, ALL submissives do not experience "frenzy" or anything else. I was once an unattached submissive and I never recall being in any "frenzy." She may be brilliant but that statement is, in fact, in error. Just a thought.................luci

juliaoceania -> RE: How do you cope with Frenzy (11/8/2007 9:57:24 PM)
Sub frenzy passes on its own eventually, one cannot live that intensely forever. Coping with it means knowing that the feelings that you are experiencing will pass and you will be yourself again. Life is full of these sorts of experiences... pregnancy, menopause, loss and grief, unexpected life changes, and illness can all throw us off kilter in this life, sub frenzy is just another one of those types of experiences. I did not do anything I regretted as a result of frenzy, although that period of my life was spent in a rather hazy fog of desire and yearning... with the inability to concentrate as usual....

sexyred1 -> RE: How do you cope with Frenzy (11/8/2007 10:03:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slaveluci quote: ORIGINAL: shootingstar67 She said that all unattached submissives experience frenzy but deal with it different (some play with a dom friend till it passes) I think saying that ALL submissives (unattached or not) do anything is wrong. ALL submissives are human beings and all human beings don't act the same. All men, women, races, auto mechanics, whathaveyou's do not act the same. Therefore, ALL submissives do not experience "frenzy" or anything else. I was once an unattached submissive and I never recall being in any "frenzy." She may be brilliant but that statement is, in fact, in error. Just a thought.................luci Exactly. Here we go again, thrusting the "all inclusive" upon submissives....sigh. I am a currently unattached submissive and while I would like to meet someone, I don't let any "frenzied" need color my decisions. I am an adult who can distinguish, now more than ever, and especially after having some bad relationships, the need to separate any type of super intense feelings from the wrong relationship or person.

chiaThePet -> RE: How do you cope with Frenzy (11/8/2007 10:17:38 PM)
Generally, a frenzied masturbation session brings me back to earth. But I'm selfish that way. chia* (the pet)

slavemaia -> RE: How do you cope with Frenzy (11/8/2007 10:30:28 PM)
fa fa fa frenzie??????? OMG! i went nuts. i went to munches and play parties and oh i wanted to be owned, i wanted to be owned - oh btw did i say i wanted to be owned. Nope never heard of it.

chellekitty -> RE: How do you cope with Frenzy (11/8/2007 10:34:32 PM)
ferverent prayer and self flagellation [:D]

shootingstar67 -> RE: How do you cope with Frenzy (11/9/2007 12:53:41 AM)
quote: I think saying that ALL submissives (unattached or not) do anything is wrong. ALL submissives are human beings and all human beings don't act the same. All men, women, races, auto mechanics, whathaveyou's do not act the same. Therefore, ALL submissives do not experience "frenzy" or anything else. I was once an unattached submissive and I never recall being in any "frenzy." She may be brilliant but that statement is, in fact, in error. Just a thought.................luci hmm well to be fair to Mistress Steel I think I might have miss understood what she wrote. I think what she actually said was that experienced submissives also have frenzies. I just assumed that meant "all' but she didn't actually put it that way

slaveluci -> RE: How do you cope with Frenzy (11/9/2007 3:56:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shootingstar67 hmm well to be fair to Mistress Steel I think I might have miss understood what she wrote. I think what she actually said was that experienced submissives also have frenzies. I just assumed that meant "all' but she didn't actually put it that way Well, now that certainly is different then isn't it?[;)] I plan to read the link you posted just hadn't had time. I just read that "all" word and had to chime in. I'm sure some new as well as experienced folks do get that frenzied feeling at times. I just know that not everyone does. That indicates to me that one is out of control of themselves and/or desperate. Those aren't feelings I ever remember having personally in regards to my quest to find my Partner. As SexyRed1 said, I just hate that all-inclusive language 'cuz we are all very different in many ways. Thanks for the clarification..............luci

slaveluci -> RE: How do you cope with Frenzy (11/9/2007 4:11:40 AM)
Ok, I took a minute to read the link. Just to clarify, here's her quote: "Submissive Frenzies are a state or condition that many if not all submissives will experience at one time or another." I'm not familiar with any of her writings but I find some of her generalizations a little patronizing. Here's a sampling of some of the comments she makes about a sub in "frenzy" state: 1. "It can leave them irrational, willing to make poor decisions, rash, impulsive and generally stupid. A submissive in a frenzied state is at their most vulnerable to succumbing to the ploys of those less than admirable." 2. "Contact with a Dominant, almost any kind will tend to rivet their attention. The very first gift that the submissive gives away here is their common sense." 3. "A submissive in a pre-frenzy need state will often become very alluring, flattering, flexible. They will mirror the apparent 'needs' of the Dominant they are talking to in order to appear to be the perfect candidate for a future alliance. Though the submissives in general do not tend to lie here, many only present partial truth's." 4. "It is very important for the Dominant to learn to recognize the symptoms of frenzy and allow for the premise that the submissive's judgment may be impaired when speaking with them. " Wow. Now I know there are folks the world over (vanilla and otherwise) who do/become all these things and then some when desperate to find a partner. But to say that submissives as a whole ("many if not all") act like this is insulting to say the least. Irrational, impulsive, generally stupid, lacking common sense, a partial-truth telling flatterer with impaired judgment? Ouch. All that just to get our dom? Never happened to THIS sub at any point in time. Not sure it does with "many if not all." Some yes, because there are some desperate, unstable folks out there who will do whatever it takes. Not sure they have to be of the submissive nature and they definitely don't have to be into BDSM. I think the article evidences alot of condescension toward the "sub" type (poor gullible, desperate, stupid creatures that we are)[&o]................luci

IrishMist -> RE: How do you cope with Frenzy (11/9/2007 5:10:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slaveluci Ok, I took a minute to read the link. Just to clarify, here's her quote: "Submissive Frenzies are a state or condition that many if not all submissives will experience at one time or another." I'm not familiar with any of her writings but I find some of her generalizations a little patronizing. Here's a sampling of some of the comments she makes about a sub in "frenzy" state: 1. "It can leave them irrational, willing to make poor decisions, rash, impulsive and generally stupid. A submissive in a frenzied state is at their most vulnerable to succumbing to the ploys of those less than admirable." 2. "Contact with a Dominant, almost any kind will tend to rivet their attention. The very first gift that the submissive gives away here is their common sense." 3. "A submissive in a pre-frenzy need state will often become very alluring, flattering, flexible. They will mirror the apparent 'needs' of the Dominant they are talking to in order to appear to be the perfect candidate for a future alliance. Though the submissives in general do not tend to lie here, many only present partial truth's." 4. "It is very important for the Dominant to learn to recognize the symptoms of frenzy and allow for the premise that the submissive's judgment may be impaired when speaking with them. " Wow. Now I know there are folks the world over (vanilla and otherwise) who do/become all these things and then some when desperate to find a partner. But to say that submissives as a whole ("many if not all") act like this is insulting to say the least. Irrational, impulsive, generally stupid, lacking common sense, a partial-truth telling flatterer with impaired judgment? Ouch. All that just to get our dom? Never happened to THIS sub at any point in time. Not sure it does with "many if not all." Some yes, because there are some desperate, unstable folks out there who will do whatever it takes. Not sure they have to be of the submissive nature and they definitely don't have to be into BDSM. I think the article evidences alot of condescension toward the "sub" type (poor gullible, desperate, stupid creatures that we are)[&o]................luci I don't know luci. While I agree with your disagreement over the word of 'all'; how often do we see posts here reflecting exactly what she depicted?

juliaoceania -> RE: How do you cope with Frenzy (11/9/2007 6:06:14 AM)
Luci, If I had not experienced "frenzy" I would agree with you.. but I was very vulnerable when I went through it. I did not have my usual sense of judgment. Did that mean I completely lacked judgment? No. I was not myself though either. I think this article is wonderful because many people do not know what they are experiencing, and that would be even more dangerous in my opinion. It helped me to know that frenzy would pass, and that I should be aware of it. I do not like words like "all" either, but the gist of the article is valid in my opinion

WillowRain -> RE: How do you cope with Frenzy (11/9/2007 6:42:29 AM)
laughs I so agree with this. Last time I was in those spaces I put a coat of primer and a coat of paint on my office walls, then painted the trim. The bouts of painting went on for hours and hours with almost no breaks and I was pleasantly sore for days. Get thee a paintbrush!! Submissive, abuse thyself.... :P quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross The best thing to do I have found is turn off the computer, get off the phone, and go exhaust yourself with exercise or some other physical non sexual activity.

adoracat -> RE: How do you cope with Frenzy (11/9/2007 7:05:17 AM)
~fast reply~ i wouldnt say that i went into a "frenzy". i got lucky enough that when i first experienced D/s, i was with a semi-experienced dominant, and was not without someone to dominate me more than 4 months. when i went looking in febuary, yes, i could have been frenzied, but honestly i was so half-hearted in looking that i am surprised i got the nerve to look for anyone at all. fortunately for me, Daddy found me, and thought i was worth taking under his arm. so there i am. shrugs right now, since i am not able to spend time with Daddy? i'm crochetting myself into carpal tunnel syndrome... kitten, only half joking

girlygurl -> RE: How do you cope with Frenzy (11/9/2007 7:26:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chiaThePet Generally, a frenzied masturbation session brings me back to earth. But I'm selfish that way. chia* (the pet) Oh, is that what I was experiencing yesterday? Hmmm.... considers purchasing stock in energizer [:D] girly

arayofsunshine55 -> RE: How do you cope with Frenzy (11/9/2007 7:37:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shootingstar67 She said that all unattached submissives experience frenzy but deal with it different (some play with a dom friend till it passes) I am wondering: Assuming you are single and looking, how do you deal with moments of frenzy? But we don't all experience it. I was unattached. I took my time. I went out to dinner with guys who interested me. Didn't play with anyone. Until I met Daddy. And then we moved forward at a measured pace. I don't have a tendency to drama or frenzy, this aspect of my life was no different. This isn't the end all and be all of my life. I think perspective is important. Keeping one's life balanced. Continuing to really be me. By the way she said "many if not all".

chiaThePet -> RE: How do you cope with Frenzy (11/9/2007 7:40:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: girlygurl quote: ORIGINAL: chiaThePet Generally, a frenzied masturbation session brings me back to earth. But I'm selfish that way. chia* (the pet) Oh, is that what I was experiencing yesterday? Hmmm.... considers purchasing stock in energizer [:D] girly Keeps on cumming and cumming and cumming, er.....going and going and going. No batteries needed here, but my right arm IS waaaaaaay bigger than my left. But I am coping. chia* (the pet) Edited because it IS harder to type with one hand.

daddyncherry -> RE: How do you cope with Frenzy (11/9/2007 8:33:00 AM)
First, i thought the essay in the link was very well written, and not all inclusive of submissives, but what i read was the author saying that it's probably in the latger percentage. i also wanted to just throw my two cents in regarding the partial truths bit....i know about this whole thing from my Daddy's perception. There are alot of things he will or won't do with me that he thinks may be just a fantasy but that i haven't thought out, or learned the reality of my desire for. i may say that i can handle it, want it, crave and even need it...but in reality? Only time will tell. Sometimes, we think about all kinds of wonderful and nasty things that we think we could totally do and sometimes, we are only telling ourselves partial truths on this front, and therefore telling our SOs partial truths.Not intentionally being decpetive, at the time we beleive what we are saying. The other thing that sprang to mind is a question....Are the ones who experience the more uncontrollable frenzies also people who may tend toward more addictive/obsessive personalities? (like me) i ask this due to a couple of points she made in the essay as well as seeing that some people have posted having intense frenzies and others not so much.

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