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Money - 8/6/2005 9:40:01 AM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline 		Has anyone noticed that money can influence a persons perception of another person?

You meet some one on the street.... all goes welll.. you have a bite to eat.. make plans to get together at a later time. You hang out with the person a few times and eventually, they invite you back to their house.

A) Its a trailer, clean but obviously struggling

C) a small apartment

B) A "normal" house

D) An upscale, well to do "house"

E) A mansion

Tell me, can anyone honestly say here that depending upon the means in which they live, does not affect your perception of them?

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RE: Money - 8/6/2005 10:01:56 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

A) Its a trailer, clean but obviously struggling

C) a small apartment

B) A "normal" house

D) An upscale, well to do "house"

E) A mansion

Tell me, can anyone honestly say here that depending upon the means in which they live, does not affect your perception of them?

Yes it does affect my perception of them.

For the first three I would think pretty much the same thing. Decent down to earth kind of folks. For the upscale house, that would give me the perception that they are materialistic and trying to keep up with the Jones'. Other than that my perception would be pretty much the same. For the mansion I would have the perception before I ever even met them that they were egotistical, materialistic, putting on airs and trying to impress someone kind of people who were hooked on status and most likely control freaks. Same reason why I would never date a man who drove a small, foreign convertible "status" car.

_____________________________

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~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to RiotGirl)
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RE: Money - 8/6/2005 10:12:29 AM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline 		What brought this on, was i realised i wasnt worried about bringing out the nice bed cover with Him. <grins> i've a whole theory about money and its affect on ppl. my mother struggled raising me, but always made sure i was in a "good" neighborhood, as her career took off, so did her means to live. People with money, neednt one another, they neednt rely on another, they neednt care of another. How many here know their neighbors?

Mistorferin that is a perception i havent run across yet.

< Message edited by RiotGirl -- 8/6/2005 10:33:35 AM >

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RE: Money - 8/6/2005 10:58:26 AM   
tinkJH


Posts: 180
Joined: 5/22/2005
Status: offline 		hrm.. I refused to relocate with Master until he had a house. I guess its shallow, but while we were digussing my relocation - a 3 bedroom rental would have cost us just about 1200 in rent alone. I wouldn't have been able to have my girls (dogs), there would have been no yard and really - the bills would have been horrible and we would struggled even with me in a full time job. So I told him no, it would be better to buy. He agree'd. It took him about 8 months to fine a house, go through all the work of getting contracts and then he had the key, two months later.. here I was. I could have cared less what the house looked like, Which - its a nice house. I love it. Through all of it, I just wanted to be with him. :) I've been here for a little over a year.. and this spring - I get to rip out floors and paint!! yay!!!

_____________________________

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so why am I ten feet under and upside down..? " (Lifehouse ~ Storm)


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http://brazendreams.blogspot.com/

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RE: Money - 8/6/2005 12:06:11 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Tell me, can anyone honestly say here that depending upon the means in which they live, does not affect your perception of them?


I was in the heating and air conditioning industry for fifteen years. During that time I went into so many different residential homes. Some small, grubby trailers to posh mansions that had an indoor and outdoor pool. The people that I met were as diverse as their living quarters. I found that the majority of folks that owned large homes were chintzy, annoying and generally not people that I would want to spend any time around. The other people that were in average homes or even trailers were generally nice, honest people with a decent outlook on life. Assholes live everywhere. Mansions or small huts. Where a person lives doesn't alter my perception of them because I have met all kinds.

_____________________________

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I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

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RE: Money - 8/6/2005 12:25:08 PM   
nella


Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline 		Offcourse it would affect me, i would no nessesary like the person more or less, but i would react to how mutch money they have.

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RE: Money - 8/6/2005 1:13:44 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nella

Offcourse it would affect me, i would no nessesary like the person more or less, but i would react to how mutch money they have.


Keep in mind, loads and loads of "nice stuff" might not indicate how much money a person has, but how much debt a person has.

Someone might appear very rich but in reality they simply live beyond their means and are actually on the brink of being penniless.

Akasha

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Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

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RE: Money - 8/6/2005 2:27:06 PM   
stormsfate


Posts: 849
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

For the upscale house, that would give me the perception that they are materialistic and trying to keep up with the Jones'.


Have you ever tried to find a regular house with four or five bedrooms...lol?

Anyway, I don't really think about it either way. As long as its reasonably well maintained and clean if not neat, then my perceptions of the people would be based on things other than their possessions. I've known quite well to do people who enjoy shopping at yard sales, and have known people who didn't have enough money to buy groceries who always had to have the best brand names.



best regards,
fate

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Money - 8/6/2005 3:19:45 PM   
COYoungDom


Posts: 14
Joined: 7/24/2005
From: Westminster, CO
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RiotGirl

Has anyone noticed that money can influence a persons perception of another person?

You meet some one on the street.... all goes welll.. you have a bite to eat.. make plans to get together at a later time. You hang out with the person a few times and eventually, they invite you back to their house.

A) Its a trailer, clean but obviously struggling

C) a small apartment

B) A "normal" house

D) An upscale, well to do "house"

E) A mansion

Tell me, can anyone honestly say here that depending upon the means in which they live, does not affect your perception of them?




hmmmm... I live in a small apartment...pretty much because i'm a poor college student. Seems reasonable right? If someone had a mansion...I'd be amazed but i don't know anyone who has a mansion lol. i don't know...It would in a way affect how i preceive someone...


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Continuously wondering and journeying the Earth for the one will call Him Master.

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RE: Money - 8/6/2005 4:40:42 PM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 3251
Status: offline
quote:

Has anyone noticed that money can influence a persons perception of another person?



I would tell you that ''social status'' plays a lot bigger part in influencing people's perceptions than just money alone. And the funny thing is, you don't always need money to gain ''social status."

As another poster has already mentioned, there are many folks out there that have nice things, but they are leveraged to the point of absurdity. The dark side of the status quo is a very powerful thing. Living within the confines of the ''Jones mentality'', has sometimes meant dying a painful financial death for more than just a few people.




- The Ranger


_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton


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RE: Money - 8/6/2005 6:10:58 PM   
tigress31047


Posts: 98
Joined: 4/26/2005
Status: offline 		I used to be one of those people who though the more i had the better i was. I have learned in my many years that "things' mean nothing...the size of a persons residence means nothing.. If there is Love and respect within the walls no matter what the size or condition of the place .I would welcome a friendship.. I still have a lot of nice "things" but they are not nearly as important to me anymore. I would gladly give them all up for a chance at true Happiness.

(in reply to UtopianRanger)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Money - 8/6/2005 6:20:18 PM   
kisshou


Posts: 2425
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		material possessions weigh you down

give me the beach anyday

the surf , the sand, the sea

it is all free ! :)


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Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Money - 8/6/2005 6:57:03 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

For the mansion I would have the perception before I ever even met them that they were egotistical, materialistic, putting on airs and trying to impress someone kind of people who were hooked on status and most likely control freaks. Same reason why I would never date a man who drove a small, foreign convertible "status" car.


We resemble those remarks right down to the convertible 2 seat foreign car. There are many houses around us bigger, and more expensive, but some would consider what we have a mansion.

We WORKED for it! Wanted it - got it. Without starving our children or exploiting the less fortunate. How about that?

Are people with possessions the last group for accepted prejudice? Ambition and work ethic CAN accomplish a lot. I wasn't born to possessions. I didn't win the lottery. In fact in 2001 I lost every possession I had. I relocated her to LA with a job, a part time consulting one at that, NOT ownership. I drove out from NYC with everything I had left in a 19 foot U-Haul. No car at all at the time, only a motor cycle. I worked my ass off, saved, invested, worked some more, made some correct life decisions, and now, just last month I "cashed in" a little. Now I own a large part of the company I came out here to work for. Why? Was the owner a charity waiting to give something to someone he felt worthy? NO - Like me he is a capitalist. I made him money. Enough so that he thought the smart move was to make me a partner. Now together we are both making MORE money. Funny how that works.

So that disqualifies us from being someone you would hang around. That makes us materialist assholes. We have friends of ALL social and economic levels. It doesn't matter to us. We entertain and have been entertained in each other's homes without concern if the sofa was leather or worn cloth or if we were sitting on pillows. The person was much more important than the decor. But then, we aren't superficial.

And the next time I see a black person, I should just assume he/she are unemployed and on welfare, and not care to get to know them either. But wait...that would be prejudice.

PS - My total debt including house, doesn't equal my 1/4 of my annual salary.

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Money - 8/6/2005 8:12:21 PM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline 		You're lucky to have come around in life like that, Merc. I can't lie and say that a person's car/home/clothes has no impact on me, but I try not to be too jealous of the people that even have a stable home.

Hell, one of my best friends has a lot of designer clothes, but she got them all at knockoff prices and all the stuff that doesn't fit her anymore will be mine if/when I move there (yes, my second move in three months).

Grew up one family disaster away from homelessness, see nothing wrong with trailers, wonder what in the hell people with money to spare do with it. I hope to become a trauma nurse and I don't even know what I'll do with income potentially double what my mom and stepdad combined make working at Jiffy Lube around 50 hours a week.

_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Money - 8/6/2005 8:33:53 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		It AFFECTS my perception of them, so does their family situation, health situation, past history situation, professional situation and a gazillion other things.

The boyfriend lived with his mom and dad until now when he is moving to Texas to begin graduate school. The Owner lives in his own house and could likely pay for the entire grad school education and more in less than a years salary.

I am entirely devoted to both of them.

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RE: Money - 8/6/2005 8:42:09 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
And the next time I see a black person, I should just assume he/she are unemployed and on welfare, and not care to get to know them either. But wait...that would be prejudice.

PS - My total debt including house, doesn't equal my 1/4 of my annual salary.
I think you should pay my bills for 2 months for that statement.
Why yah gotta go there?
Having money does not make you an asshole, lol, but if you come to know a good percentage of your neighbors are will you come and let us know?. M


< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 8/6/2005 8:44:38 PM >

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RE: Money - 8/6/2005 10:39:19 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

We WORKED for it! Wanted it - got it. Without starving our children or exploiting the less fortunate. How about that?


I guess that you and I just have different priorities...the things you deem important in your possessions are entirely meaningless to a person like myself.

quote:

Ambition and work ethic CAN accomplish a lot. I wasn't born to possessions.


Please do not try to say that a strong work ethic has anything to do with owning alot of impressive material things. My father is 80 years old. He still works construction, 10 hours a day. He has been working since he was 10 to support the family his father walked out on. He packed up every possession he, his wife and his 4 children owned into that U Haul truck and relocated us here to Michigan. He is retiring next month and cashing in the 189 sick days that he has accumulated over the years and never took....because work was more important. He has raised a fine family of 4 successful, hard working kids who all think he walks on water. He has been successful in his life and is respected at a level that most men can only dream of. He has never seen the need to go out and buy a mansion or a flashy car to feel like a success. He has seen the need on many occasion to reach out and give a hand up to someone less fortunate.

His brother is 78. He was a police lieutenant in Fort Apache, the precinct they made the movie about. Upon his retirement he opened his own construction business in upstate NY and is still working hard every day. He has raised a fine family of 5 successful, hard working children who think he walks on water. He has been successful in his life and is respected at a level most men can only dream of too. He has also never seen the need to go out and buy a mansion or a flashy car to feel like a success. He has seen the need on many occasion to reach out and give a hand up to someone less fortunate.

I have worked since I was 16 years old. There have been times in my life that I have worked 3 jobs at a time while going to school also to put food on my table to feed my children and my husband after he was seriously injured. I have worked at jobs that ranged from physical to mental. Construction to counseling and upper management. There have been two occasions in my life that I also lost every possession that I own. I have lived in some very nice but modest homes. I have also had nowhere to live. There have been times in my life that I have had a sizeable bank account...and times when I have shot rabbits in the backyard so that the kids could eat. Several years ago I was sitting on easy street, nice little home on a private lake, good paying job, nice little nest egg. Then my mother became ill and needed me. I have to tell you that I did not have one moment's hesitation to walk away from it all and not look back. All that stuff was just that......just stuff.

If I do make it REALLY big though one day, this much I can tell you with a great degree of certainty....I won't be going out and buying any mansions or flashy cars. I have the respect of my family and friends, the respect of those who I have reached out and helped along the way...and I don't think I will ever have the need to have excessive material things to make me feel successful. I already am. What I will do though instead of buying that mansion that would be nothing but overkill for someone like me....is I will use some of my good fortune to give a hand up to another mother who is shooting rabbits in her backyard to feed her kids....and crying herself to sleep at night worrying over how exactly she is going to make it all happen.

But that's ok, I'm me and you're you. Your possessions to me are insignificant....and obviously they are of importance to you. I am not sure if I struck some kind of nerve with you in my post....I surely didn't intend to have that effect on anyone. But please don't think that it's the house or the car that give you value as a human being....or that having those things are somehow proof of how hard working you are or what a strong work ethic you have. There are plenty of folks out there working their asses off...and yes, some of them even harder than you...who don't require fancy digs to hold up as a measure of their level of success.


< Message edited by mistoferin -- 8/6/2005 11:33:58 PM >

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Money - 8/6/2005 10:41:03 PM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline 		Merc, i hear you.

quote:

Are people with possessions the last group for accepted prejudice?


funny enough, i have dealt with it for a long time. i meet ppl, get to know them, become friends, heck even start dating them.. living life on my terms.. (which isnt substantial) and they meet my mother and fully comphrend my family background and they change. Its funny, all they see is money. They look at me, my attitude, my view on life and and they think. "Life couldnt have been tough, you were raised with money"

Then i'm considered spoiled.

What it seems people truely dont get.. is money isnt everything and it doesnt make you happy. It doesnt do SQUAT, but buy materialistic things for people to pomp themselves up with. (ya should see my dad and his sad perception of life ma mother too) Two people who put money before anything else in their life. Kind of sad when you think about what they've missed and how disallusioned they are.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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RE: Money - 8/6/2005 11:00:43 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RiotGirl

Has anyone noticed that money can influence a persons perception of another person?

You meet some one on the street.... all goes welll.. you have a bite to eat.. make plans to get together at a later time. You hang out with the person a few times and eventually, they invite you back to their house.

A) Its a trailer, clean but obviously struggling

C) a small apartment

B) A "normal" house

D) An upscale, well to do "house"

E) A mansion

Tell me, can anyone honestly say here that depending upon the means in which they live, does not affect your perception of them?




Yes it would, however what really matters is the way it changes your perception, positively or negatively. For me it simply gives me a greater insight to that person. I’ve been excessively rich and I’ve been dead broke. I have friends at both ends of the spectrum. Most of the ones who are struggling to put food on the table make me feel humble for they generally don’t complain and mostly have good humour. I can see what they face on a daily basis. Some of my affluent friends don't flash their wealth, in fact you’d never believe just how wealthy they are. The will never rub it in your face.


_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Money - 8/7/2005 6:26:58 AM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline 		Most of you answered wrong. Ha. It should not alter your perception of them.

Whether one is living in a studio apartment, or a 2 bedroom apartment, or one of the nicest apartments in a forgien city.. the person does not change. People dont just change because you see something new about them. Merc n beth would be the same ppl to me even if they lived in small house with little to no income.

Or all you all saying, that you would judge a book by its cover? Anyone ever noticed that when you do judge the book by its cover, it never turns out excatly how you thought it would. Sometimes that horror story could end up being a suspense, or that "lifestyle" book end up just being some poor stab at porn?

i have lived in a studio apartment, i have lived in a 2 bedroom apartment, i have lived in house that are well to do, i have lived in average houses, i have lived in an apartment that cost more monthly then my mothers government diplomatic salary. my father used to live in one of the most upscale apartments in the city of Paris and God knows where he lives now in London. Point that i could be found in many different situations. And though i dont own that finer stuff ( i refuse too) it still reflects upon me, yet i am the same person. Imagine seeing me out with my father, dressed to the max at a resturant where the main course costs around 50 dollars a plte, would you likely think that i lived in a studio apartment where the landlord was such a penis that i had no a/c during the hottest months of lforida?

Nope

Because people judge a book by the cover and make assumptions based on perceptins that they see with out looking deeper or finding out what truly is on the inside. People judge and people assume without any background assumptions.

first meeting, you come in rag clothes or you come in 300 dollar outfit. What do you assume?

And funny enough, this is how people get manipulated and played.

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 20
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