RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive

RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (Full Version)

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SteelofUtah -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 12:06:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissOchistic Right. We should all do anything helpful to others as long as it doesn't kill us. I mean, sure, the asshole maybe have been chasing me with a steel rod and threatening to kill my dog, but it wouldn't kill me to just make him the damn sandwich, would it? Wow I never said anything about a sandwich, and I don't even own a steel rod. Where did that come from. The point I was trying to relay is that answering someones question is something that we should do, doing it doesn't hurt so why all the anomosity toward Newbie Questions? As Always Steel

Politesub53 -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 12:08:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slavesunshine You are supposed to be here to help, guide, and support. Slavesunshine, no one is here to help guide or support, this is a forum and people are here to interact however they wish. Some will help, some wont. It`s really that simple. To the OP, my own view is that there isnt any difference between someone who says that they are fully submissive or someone who says they are a slave. There are many variations of what people think a submissive is or isnt and try as you might, you wont find an answer here. i was once chatting to a Mistress and her view of what a slave was, equalled my view of what a submissive was. My own advice would be forget the labels. Talk to anyone you intend to get involved with, and make sure you understand each others views of what slave and submissive mean.

susie -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 12:20:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah Susie, I don't know if you are religious but people look for GOD everyday and don't know exactly what That is. In reality she is asking for something on her Profile and trying to define what that is for HER. She has a Master so she obviously has some idea of this lifestyle. To ignore the question she is asking to attack the Profile which was NOT asked about shows all you are interested in is picking apart the person instead of offering help. No one said you didn't have a right to be here, what I said is you missed the POINT and PURPOSE of this forum by ignoring the question the girl asked. As Always Steel I did not miss the point of the forum. I offered help by saying that if she states on her profile she is looking for something specific, she should know what that thing is. You are right in saying she has a Master and it is to him that she should be directing that question if he is the one that is searching. I could tell her what a slave means to me and it could be vastly different to what he thinks it is. Help comes in many formats not just the nice hand holding type that you seem to advocate. As for religion I really fail to see what that has to do with this thread.

juliaoceania -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 12:33:25 PM)
fast reply We all come to the internet with our own agenda, and when we post questions we do not get to demand the answers that will come our way... if we did I do not see what the point of it all would be. If someone is thin skinned and does not like the vibe of this message board, they should find a new one. Asking everyone to change who they are to accomodate one person seems like a futile endeavor... and we did not fail anyone, we do not even know this person, if she has questions that she can't answer and her dom refuses to answer and will not allow her to search for an answer... that is their failure, not ours. I have spent a good deal of my life seeking answers to things. I do not expect people to spoon feed me the information that I desire... She was directed to the search button wherein lies all the perspectives on slave v. sub debate that has been hashed out infinitum. She was offered even more information on this very thread. She chose to focus on what she perceived as a few negative replies instead of learning what she could from all replies...sometimes the answer is not what we wanted or expected, but it is an answer nonetheless. Her value judgment and the judgment of her dom about the "negativity" of this message board says more about them then it does about those of us who would post a sincere reply (and telling someone how they can find voluminous threads on this topic is a valuable reply and a sincere reply for a true knowledge seeker). Too bad some people choose to focus so completely on what they do not want that they miss what they do...

SteelofUtah -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 12:38:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: susie I did not miss the point of the forum. I offered help by saying that if she states on her profile she is looking for something specific, she should know what that thing is. You are right in saying she has a Master and it is to him that she should be directing that question if he is the one that is searching. I could tell her what a slave means to me and it could be vastly different to what he thinks it is. Help comes in many formats not just the nice hand holding type that you seem to advocate. As for religion I really fail to see what that has to do with this thread. The Point in the religion and God point is that you say she should know what it is, but show can she know if she doesn't ask? Her Master clearly is the one looking for another slave and she is doing as she is told, a point I think you did miss. She is here asking for Websites and Literature on the Terms Sub and Slave another point you seem to have missed. If you stop looking down your nose at the girl, you would see this. I am not saying you have to hold someones hand, I am saying that you don't have to be an ass to someone because they asked a question and not even directly to you just in general. This is obviously going no where and you would rather argue around a point then discuss the point itself so I am just going to drop it consider it a win or whatever you want to call it and give yourself a cookie I am tired of the mentalaties of people who have been here so long and still show no sign of learning a damn thing. Steel

slavesunshine -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 12:41:11 PM)
Susie, No one is questioning why you are here. We all have a right to be on the boards. But, if you are going to be here....be helpful and be respectful of others. She asked the question because she wanted to know. She posted on her profile because she was told to by her Master. Why is it so hard just to help someone by answering a question? If you can take the time to be so rude and so unhelpful.....you have time to help someone. If what you have to say isn't helping, then don't respond to questions asked of others. The reason we have these boards is to help people and support people, am I correct?

slavesunshine -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 12:43:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Politesub53 quote: ORIGINAL: slavesunshine You are supposed to be here to help, guide, and support. Slavesunshine, no one is here to help guide or support, this is a forum and people are here to interact however they wish. Some will help, some wont. It`s really that simple. To the OP, my own view is that there isnt any difference between someone who says that they are fully submissive or someone who says they are a slave. There are many variations of what people think a submissive is or isnt and try as you might, you wont find an answer here. i was once chatting to a Mistress and her view of what a slave was, equalled my view of what a submissive was. My own advice would be forget the labels. Talk to anyone you intend to get involved with, and make sure you understand each others views of what slave and submissive mean.

slavesunshine -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 12:47:12 PM)
Politesub53, I disagree....if there are topics such as ask a Master, ask a sub/slave, etc. and questions are asked then should we not help, answer and support? I think we should.

susie -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 1:00:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slavesunshine Susie, No one is questioning why you are here. We all have a right to be on the boards. But, if you are going to be here....be helpful and be respectful of others. She asked the question because she wanted to know. She posted on her profile because she was told to by her Master. Why is it so hard just to help someone by answering a question? If you can take the time to be so rude and so unhelpful.....you have time to help someone. If what you have to say isn't helping, then don't respond to questions asked of others. The reason we have these boards is to help people and support people, am I correct? You are right I could just as easily have told her that a slave is someone that is owned by a Master, has no limits, no rights, never gets to make a decision about anything, sleeps on the floor or in a cage and eats out of a bowl on the floor, whereas a submissive is someone that submits part time. Would that be her Masters view of what a slave is? Only he knows that and only she is in a position to ask him. What I gave her was advice in that if she is putting something on her profile she should know what it is before posting it. If you don't see that as help then that is your problem. As for being respectful and helpful, I am not going to sugar coat answers because people can not handle reading responses they do not like. If you are going to post here you have to learn to expect responses you may not like.

juliaoceania -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 1:15:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slavesunshine Susie, No one is questioning why you are here. We all have a right to be on the boards. But, if you are going to be here....be helpful and be respectful of others. She asked the question because she wanted to know. She posted on her profile because she was told to by her Master. Why is it so hard just to help someone by answering a question? If you can take the time to be so rude and so unhelpful.....you have time to help someone. If what you have to say isn't helping, then don't respond to questions asked of others. The reason we have these boards is to help people and support people, am I correct? There are a wide variety of reasons why the board exists here. One is to exchange information, another is to make new friends, another is to ask for advice, another is to entertain... take your pick for why you post here. I agree with Susie, your idea of help and someone else's idea of help maybe two different things... I saw Susie's reply as helpful, people should know what they mean if they are searching for something, and only her master knows what it is he wants her to find... none of us have clue one about the type of slave this couple is looking for... and if there is one thing this board has taught me is that every slave is a different sort of slave, every relationship is different too... but the OP got that type of response and she was not satisfied with it.

osocurious -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 1:18:43 PM)
….hmmmmm….. Well I’m a REAL newbie to the Collarme forum, but was advised from someone I know, that this is a Good place to come gather info. and though I'm definitely NOT a Master ... I have an opinion ( I hope it's ok to post it ) and it seems to me in all my reading through this forum, as well as other places I've researched ... that the Only Difference between a slave and a submissive is in how the I/individual" defines them. Everyone seems to have their own unique definition. So I'm guessing that the REAL definition will be found with in Each individual relationship. ( I might also add that I was advised to read everything here in Collarme … but NEVER to post questions or opinions, as the forum can be unkind and unwelcoming to new people ... lol ... imagine that? ) I admit to knowing Very Little about Anything in life … and Even Less about D/s or M/s relationships … but …being female … and a “submissive” (I think) … this particular thread heading of “Ask A Master” catches my eye … and since I too am curious about what the Experienced P/people consider the REAL difference between slave and submissive is …. THIS is Exactly where I would have come to ask “that” specific question ….. However …. what I’ve pretty much learned from the reading ( not only this thread but )Through Out the forum is “W/who” will be likely to offer patient / tolerant responses and information to those of us who are just beginning the journey …. And W/who are much to full of their own S/self imposed … S/self importance … to be bothered with anyone T/they might feel to be unworthy of anything but a flippant, sarcastic, tongue in cheek ( self entertaining) reply. I find that attitude sad really …. But there you have it … tis the nature of the human animal I suppose. Thanks by the way to EVERY P/person here in the forum who has ever taken, or still takes a moment to earnestly, and with sincerity … share a bit of what they know … with those of U/us who are genuinely seeking information and answers. With Sincere Respect (for those who are deserving ) ~ osocurious ~

SteelofUtah -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 2:07:54 PM)
[sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif] With all the personalities clapping in my head it sounds like applause. VERY well said osocurious As Always Steel

MystressDream -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 2:51:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: julietsierra quote: ORIGINAL: susie quote: ORIGINAL: slavesunshine Lyrical, I too agree with StellofUtah. We were all once "new" to the lifestyle. I think some people tend to forget that. Please never stop asking questions and there are those of us who do want to help. Feel free to email me anytime that you want to. This is supposed to be a place where you can feel free to ask questions even though they may have been asked a dozen times before. (not everyone knows that they have been asked in the past). Not everyone can spend 24 hours a day here on the boards finding out what is posted and waht is not. Good luck on your journey and please email me if you would like I would love to talk with you. sunshine I think the point that both you and SteelofUtah missed is the fact that lyricaldreams has posted here asking what is the difference between a slave and a submissive whilst she has a profile saying that she and her partner have an opening for a slave. If she does not know what the difference is or is too new to the lifestyle to know, how can she be looking for a slave? From the tone of the ad it still sounds like they are looking for a cheap domestic and not a lifestyle slave at all. I read the OP and the rest of the responses and I guess the thing that hit me about the whole thread is that here's a girl who is relatively new. She's been told to post to her profile about look for someone and is doing her best to comply. Then, she comes here to look for answers to some of her concerns - not unlike others have done on these same boards. She doesn't want to defy her Master, but also needs to gain some perspective, so she asks those outside her relationship in order that she can develop and contemplate her own views of the differences between slave and submissive. What she gets is jokes about the multitude of postings on this subject - as if her concerns are trivial to say the least. What she gets are comments about a profile that she wrote in compliance to someone else. What she gets are comments that put down everything about what she's doing. In short, what she gets is everything except what she really needed. And now, her Master has told her not to post here again. So, our quips and our jabs and our attempts to be witty, as well as to take her to task instead of helping her, has closed off an avenue of learning for her. And yep, I know. I'm guilty of this as well, so this is definitely not a case of the pot calling the kettle black or anything like that. Yes, she gets to make up her own mind regarding her continued relationship with her Master. Yes, she can ask him about what the differences are. But it seems that what she was asking for were outside and objective views so that she could come to some understanding about what was coming in his life, and so, in hers. I may be (and probably am) reading way too much into her post, but it seems like what she was asking for was a bit of something she could find comfort in as she prepares to explore this part of her life. What's sad is that I think we failed her. juliet Beautifully written...... and, I agree with you 100%. When someone new comes to the message boards, they don't necessarily know to "search the archives" for answers to their questions. They come here to ask them and are hoping for answers from others with more experience and knowledge. Too often they get blown out of the water. I can understand for some of you who have been on here for months, years, whatever (judging by the number of posts you have made) that someone bringing up topics you have discussed before can get old. However, if all topics can only be addressed once or twice, and then left alone, these boards will die. New people will address old issues, issues you have all discussed many times. Ummm.... is that shocking??? Giving them a list of archives to go read is fine... However, are there no new people here who may have a different perspective? Should we all defer to what has been said in prior posts and keep our own opinions to ourselves? Are we here to discuss and learn? When those of you who have been here for a long time were new and asked a question, were you given any answers? Or were you put down for your lack of "knowledge" and/or "total misconceptions" as far as certain readers are concerned? *I would just hope that this forum would be a place where newbies can ask questions and not be afraid to do so. Seeing how many of them have been attacked and/or made fun of, sometimes I wonder.* *JMO.... as always.*

juliaoceania -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 3:41:24 PM)
quote: I can understand for some of you who have been on here for months, years, whatever (judging by the number of posts you have made) that someone bringing up topics you have discussed before can get old. However, if all topics can only be addressed once or twice, and then left alone, these boards will die. New people will address old issues, issues you have all discussed many times. Ummm.... is that shocking??? I just don't respond to posts that I am tired of addressing, it is not shocking that questions will be asked over and over again... what shocks me is that when it is pointed out to the person in a joking lighthearted manner that they can search the archives for more info they get offended by that. I do not believe anyone said that this topic shouldn't be discussed again or couldn't be discussed again... please point me to that post where a forum Nazi told anyone not to post their question? quote: When those of you who have been here for a long time were new and asked a question, were you given any answers? Or were you put down for your lack of "knowledge" and/or "total misconceptions" as far as certain readers are concerned? *I would just hope that this forum would be a place where newbies can ask questions and not be afraid to do so. Seeing how many of them have been attacked and/or made fun of, sometimes I wonder.* Actually I do not believe I have ever been derided for posting boring overdone threads.... but I have a creative streak when it comes to thinking up new questions... When I first started posting here I did write a thread about abandonment that I felt rather raw and thin skinned about, but I knew that it was my problem because once you put something out there, people will respond the way they want to. I suppose I am a freedom loving person, and I do not think it is up to anyone to be the posting police unless they have moderator priviliges... it is so easy to take offense when one reads a post, it takes a wise person to either joke it off or look at the intention of other posters in the best light possible. I would rather assume the best of people.

Politesub53 -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 3:44:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slavesunshine Politesub53, I disagree....if there are topics such as ask a Master, ask a sub/slave, etc. and questions are asked then should we not help, answer and support? I think we should. Dont get me wrong, i think it`s wonderful if people give good advice or opinions. i try to do so wherever i can. My point was this is a forum and people are free to reply when and how they wish, and under no obligation to be helpful

KatyLied -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 3:47:29 PM)
quote: You are supposed to be here to help, guide, and support. I don't care if the question has been asked 100 times and if the person did not want to use the seach bar. YOU ALL failed this girl. I am not sure if I want to continue on these message boards if this is what I can expect if I ever have questions. I think we all should be treated with respect. I missed the memo that said my responsibility is to: help, guide and support strangers on-line.

KnightofMists -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 3:49:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lyricaldreams for starters, He is the one that wants to add to the household. He told me what He wanted in my profile, and there it is. It isn't for me to question. Due to His work schedule, i don't get to spend much time with Him during the week. i really didn't think the question i asked would generate such nastiness. lyrical you need to get a tougher skin.. I have read the first page of this thread and there wasn't any nastiness... just typical bad humor as always

juliaoceania -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 3:54:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied quote: You are supposed to be here to help, guide, and support. I don't care if the question has been asked 100 times and if the person did not want to use the seach bar. YOU ALL failed this girl. I am not sure if I want to continue on these message boards if this is what I can expect if I ever have questions. I think we all should be treated with respect. I missed the memo that said my responsibility is to: help, guide and support strangers on-line. I sent it to you, the email on the other side must not be working correctly[8D]

KatyLied -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 3:55:48 PM)
I hope it has pretty pictures on it! [:D]

juliaoceania -> RE: The difference between being a slave versus being a submissive (11/11/2007 3:59:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied I hope it has pretty pictures on it! [:D] No pretty pictures, but there was illustrations using stick figures that showed how to be more "helpful" for those of us that are "helpful" challenged. As KoM says, this is bad humor, but at least none of you have to pay for it

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