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FaithfulYoungCuk -> Dumb Question, but an honest one (11/10/2007 4:20:16 PM)
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Why is it so hard to understand that a cuckold might not accept to be at the whim of another man?
Progress and recurring issues:
Me & my Gf/Domme/Cuckoldress (to be specific) had what might be called an argument today, not really where I fight with her but she kind of holds me down and pokes me with sharp needles (in the emotional sense) that brought to mind how differently two people in a situation can view that situation. The exact details are that I initiated some discussion with her before her date (which she's on now). Unexpectedly the guy decided to drive to pick her up instead of meeting her so I asked if he was coming up so i would know whether to do the dishes before she left, or if she was running downstairs instead (so i would have something to do while she's away). That part of the conversation went okay but it made her a little defensive. I swear to god im so sweet and good natured its really making me sad to get that reaction, it makes me feel like i should do whatever and it doesn't make a difference and i might as well mind my own affairs and worry about myself, do what i want to do for all she'd care. Anyway I'm probably at fault, maybe just the way I've been feeling has got on her nerves I dont know. Its a funny position to be in when you can still piss a girl off without trying even with all these other men.
It wasnt' a big heated debate but she got angry when i asked the next question, i said "if you don't come home until tomorrow is there any reason to think this guy will stick around any longer than he needs to?" I ask because she goes to work tomorrow, probably on no sleep so when she comes home afterwards she'll just want to crash and then i start my training schedule on monday morning so no monday afternoon so tuesday morning is the soonest if he gets the notion not to leave, assuming she humors him. Well if she does humor him that means I'm spending my last day off with her marching to the drummer of what he does and doesnt want to do and I feel like there should be some consensus.
Anyway she said she wasn't going to tell me one way or the other because she didn't want me to "call her a liar again". "Again" means there was this guy named Emad from the east coast who got sent here for work for 3 weeks and the first night she went out with that guy i was like "no big deal, just a schmo from okcupid she's been talking to a couple days". it was a foregone conclusion they would have sex yada yada. Anyway I never object to the men themselves or the sex itself and i should point out here to anyone who wants to say "welcome to the wonderful world of cuckolding" that I've been in strictly cuckold relationships since early 2003 and I've never had this issue before.
What I do look for, my friends, is some sense of the agenda, as in "when is he leaving" or "when are you coming home?" THIS i already intend to be extremely flexible about, it just helps me get through it to have some idea there. Also I should point out that the month of October was an extaordinarily wild period for her because she just quit her last job where she worked all day 7 days a week and man she was just devouring the guys left and right. With Emad that first night she came into my spare room here and we made out all hot and she was saying over and over "I wish he wasn't here so i could go to sleep next to you, I can't wait til he leaves, etc"... Before she went back in to bed with him she said she would wake me up as soon as he left and i was very specific about the point that he doesn't get to say when he stays and when he goes. She agreed that when he woke up she'd send him off. But instead he woke her up at 8am and tried to have sex with her and really its just a cooincidence that she doesnt do that in the morning. Anyway instead of getting rid of him she went out to breakfast with him until noon and i woke up by myself with no girlfriend, pretty much completely opposite of the agreement, not knowing if she'd come back or what. I remembered all the fond words she said the night before and felt like they didn't mean anything.. I know they did but its this point here where I reach the subject of the post: Why is it so hard to understand that a cuckold might not accept to be at the whim of another man?
I've done forced bi and all but i dont feel the way about men that I feel about women and if hanging by a man's beckon call was what did it for me, I wouldn't need a girlfriend anyway. I hear in response that I'm being selfish and jealous which I don't think is the case because I've never had a problem with it before. So pretty much I'm supposed to have called her a liar because I let her know it hurt my feelings. To be more honest i said something more like "this is what you said you were going to do and you did the exact opposite just because he refused to leave". Going out to breakfast isn't even a big deal. But what it is to me is putting him above me, not just for sex but as a person and a man. If they can just set her agenda by wanting to, that means they set MY agenda by setting hers because she's my boss. Thank god she's not submissive to men like that or i'd set myself on fire. But to me its bad enough even to have an ear open to them asking for more than was arranged. Probably it would help if she didn't pretend i was her gay roommate and didn't pretend she was single. Her explanation for this doesn't make much sense to me but women look at men far differently than men look at other men. In my case I loathe them except for their bigger man-parts because I made a choice to be the kind of man I am and I don't see the need to respect masculinity the way more traditional people still do.
Man I'm going on and on and all i wanted to do was ask a simple question.
So it was the same thing kind of when I asked if there was any reason I should think Andrew's going to stay around any longer than he needs to in the morning (she's pretty much let me know hes coming over). Then comes the defensiveness.
I think she probably wonders "whats my problem". And I bet a lot of people will also wonder "whats my problem if i'm a cuckold i should be happy". But I have a problem submitting to men which is what her going along with there random requests means to me. If she'll knowingly shaft me because they're being typical men and pestering her about what they want what they want what they want, that means I'm submitting to them because she's my boss and I do what she says and if she does what they suggest I'm marching to their drummer. All I want is their penis in my girlfriend.
But you know what? I still feel like I'm the one who's in the wrong somehow. Is there a better way I could look at it? I dont even know HOW she looks at it if that's no big deal to her. I know she looks at it like they don't matter compared to me and what they do isn't important because these guys are fleeting. But why is it so hard to get that I want to submit to her and yet I'm completely unwilling to submit to them?
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