RE: Sex and the Sub

RE: Sex and the Sub (Full Version)

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joanus -> RE: Sex and the Sub (11/13/2007 7:37:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Baroque I do not do first meets - no where near. Oh no. Anyone who I would have sex with has to be known, trusted and wear protection. ( joanus' hopes seem to be getting slimmer) LOL while I agress sex on the first time is a little aprehencas, I would think any one would have sex with some one thay didn't know. And safe sex is only commen sence.

FullfigRIMaam -> RE: Sex and the Sub (11/13/2007 9:15:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ItalianSMistress I did not realize that so many Dommes did have sex with their boys, personally I have never. I have always looked at it as too aggressive for a slave to fuck their Owner. I dont see anything wrong with it, if the Domme wants it, she has every right to take it, I just did not think it happened so often. Its not that I find it Undomme like by the women, its more that I find it unslave like for the males. I wonder if it has anything to do with this: I prefer slaves that are very very submissive and docile, so, having sex with Me would not even be something that they would desire to do, bc like I said, its too aggressive an act for them What if you are on top? Make it more domely for yourself if you need by tying him up and than taking him? I would suppose a lady either has to hate sex, or be into poly/cuckoldry, where she brings men specifically for sex to avoid the intercourse with sub/slave altogether, with which nothing is wrong. For myself, there is no time, desire, or room in my life for multiple men relationships. Besides that, I decide what is dominant based on my desire to get/have it from my submissive/slave. M

Shawn1066 -> RE: Sex and the Sub (11/13/2007 9:26:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thetammyjo See, I'm actually a very prudish person. I don't believe in an exchange of body fluids (or the potential of it) unless there is love involved. Second, I don't believe in playing the odds when it comes to pregnancy so I don't do intercourse at all because we do not want children. So if sex is only intercourse, then I've only done that consensually with two men in my entire life -- non-consensually would raise that number to 3. If sex is any activity where you could exchange body fluid even without risk of pregnancy then the numbers are higher but each of those men I loved and I believe loved me. It's good to know I'm not the only prude on this board... :-p Along with everybody esle, I think your topic would have been better recieved if it wasn't worded like a bad SNL skit. Of course some Dommes love having sex with their pets, but would shouldn't expect sex or just be submissive in order to get sex. That's just wrong, imo.

TNstepsout -> RE: Sex and the Sub (11/13/2007 9:35:47 AM)
To bone or not to bone? What a dilemma. What a terrible thing to do to that poor Domme who was just doing you a favor. Here she is, out of the goodness of her heart, giving you a nice Birthday beating and you couldn't even keep your cuteness under control. Disgusting.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Sex and the Sub (11/13/2007 9:37:41 AM)
Put me in the ranks of those who almost never have sex with their boys. It just goes against the chain of command for me, and feels wrong. I've done it in the past, and it was okay for awhile, but as the slave relationship deepened, the sex became ghastly. And what's the point of that? This isn't to say that I won't try again someday, but I am very cautious about who I fluid-bond with, and I have pretty spectacular self control.

MystressDream -> RE: Sex and the Sub (11/13/2007 9:38:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Shawn1066 quote: ORIGINAL: thetammyjo See, I'm actually a very prudish person. I don't believe in an exchange of body fluids (or the potential of it) unless there is love involved. Second, I don't believe in playing the odds when it comes to pregnancy so I don't do intercourse at all because we do not want children. So if sex is only intercourse, then I've only done that consensually with two men in my entire life -- non-consensually would raise that number to 3. If sex is any activity where you could exchange body fluid even without risk of pregnancy then the numbers are higher but each of those men I loved and I believe loved me. It's good to know I'm not the only prude on this board... :-p Along with everybody esle, I think your topic would have been better recieved if it wasn't worded like a bad SNL skit. Of course some Dommes love having sex with their pets, but would shouldn't expect sex or just be submissive in order to get sex. That's just wrong, imo. *The boy obviously doesn't listen.... he has made two more posts and both are having to await approval before CM will even let them show up. LOL* *I agree with what you have said, shawn... the OP's initial wording is so crass it is an immediate turn off for me. But then, I am of the same opinion as TammyJo in this whole topic.*

rubberpet -> RE: Sex and the Sub (11/13/2007 10:37:36 AM)
If Mistress chooses to have sex with me, it is for one of two reasons. She either loves me and wants to share that part of Herself with me or that is the way She wants me to be of service to Her. I have served other dommes before and it was non-sexual service. They were good friends, and while I found them to be attractive, I wasn't going after sex. I didn't want to have sex with them. If I wasn't with Mistress, I'd certainly enjoy playing with them again. Once again, just play...no sex. I only want to have sex with my domme if we are in a commited, monogamous, romantic, D/s relationship where we both understood what sexual relations meant to us. Sex is very precious to me, so I only want it to be with the one I love. Do I expect it when I'm with Her? No, but am I wrong for hoping for it because it is an expression of my love for Her?

PhoenixRed -> RE: Sex and the Sub (11/13/2007 11:16:30 AM)
Great post, rubberpet. I only take subs that I am attracted to and would consider as partners if they weren't in a D/s dynamic with me. None of my subs expect sex with me, and most times it won't happen. However, every once and a while, when the mood strikes me..... I don't see anything wrong with them serving in that capacity either. Some I can do that withand the D/s dynamic is unaffected; some I cannot, because it would blur the lines of control with them. Each sub on an individual basis. I have a wonderful mate, so I am not hurting for sex, believe me! lol My mate is the only man I'm fluid bonded with. There are ways for men to be put in a submissive position for sex, though, and it is humbling for them once they experience it. Learning that they are not always in control, even in sexual relations is a good lesson, I think! [;)]

YourhandMyAss -> RE: Sex and the Sub (11/13/2007 11:45:11 AM)
See if I had a sub and I was horny damn strait I'd fuck him. It w*ould however be on my terms, and they'd sure know it was for my gratification, not theirs, and it was about me not them.

RumpusParable -> RE: Sex and the Sub (11/13/2007 12:28:02 PM)
When should I fuck a sub? If we're talking the pro side of things, never. If we're talking the personal side of things, whenever I feel okay with doing so. Just like with non-PE potential sexual partners. I do not engage in sexual contact with personal subs, either, 99% of the time. As other's have expressed it just "feels wrong" and undermines the power dynamic for me, personally. But the answer stays the same: whenever I feel it's okay to. If I feel it's okay with a certain person and situation, I don't agonize over The Way It Should Be or any such. Basically because The Way It Should Be, as it applies to my life, is decided by me.

Bloodrose88 -> RE: Sex and the Sub (11/13/2007 1:06:51 PM)
My Mistress and I have never had sex. We are sensual with one another, but definitely even this is more about the power exchange than the body's reactions. Is it possible that we will have sex in the future? If she wills it, yes. We have discussed it as being something we would both be interested in when the time is right, but it is on the time of HER choosing, not mine. If, and when, we do have sex, it will be because she wishes to engage in that behavior with me. But, if she chooses to never do so, that is quite alright as well. My advice...don't be so smug about being cute, and therefore irristible. Lots of people are "cute" and very easy to resist. Also, don't ask for sex. If she wants to, she will. But you asking for it, or even making comments concerning how you would like to is rather annoying, I would imagine. Best of luck to you

MisPandora -> RE: Sex and the Sub (11/13/2007 1:09:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ItalianSMistress This was an interesting thread to read. I did not realize that so many Dommes did have sex with their boys, personally I have never. I have always looked at it as too aggressive for a slave to fuck their Owner. I dont see anything wrong with it, if the Domme wants it, she has every right to take it, I just did not think it happened so often. Its not that I find it Undomme like by the women, its more that I find it unslave like for the males. I wonder if it has anything to do with this: I prefer slaves that are very very submissive and docile, so, having sex with Me would not even be something that they would desire to do, bc like I said, its too aggressive an act for them. I know that some Dommes prefer a slave with a bit of spice, one that likes to show some resistance, so perhaps this is the type of slave that type of Domme would have sex with. Then again that could be My own twisted mind [;)] Precisely. For those of us that enjoy full use of our subjects, we control the situation by commanding it. Whether he's on top as a wild untamed stallion or my obedient robot sex toy, he's mine and he's providing for my pleasure. There's no question as to who is controlling it, regardless of the position he faithfully delivers my sex in :-)

Kirren -> RE: Sex and the Sub (11/13/2007 7:38:09 PM)
IN all fairness, I was there for part of the session...and I know for a fact that she wanted to sleep with him, and I fully encouraged her to. She said I was living vicariously thru her, maybe, what ever...Im not into lil man like that. Hes cute for sure, but too Joey Lawrence for Me. Anyway....I think, in all honesty, that 1) how he says whats on his mind is not as important as what is on his mind. His question has validity and should be addressed not so much as the nature of the language he uses. We are all adults here, or so we say when we join, why be prudish about how some one chooses to term intercourse? Its all a matter of lingusitic schematics. Honestly. I didnt realize I was in a convent. and 2) Its nice to see a sub with some level of self awarness physically. I dont think I have seen that in some time. Honestly, they all go on about how small their cock is, or how they dont do this or that, most subs, at least the ones I seem to attract, have no real sense of self. So, I applaude joanus on that. And in the end, he didnt get any...which I think was a total travesty of American Justice, as it was, after all, his 21st Birthday. So, to you joanus, I think you should keep on keepin on, shes bound to cave how could she resist pink panties after all? -winks- To the question itself, It is a very personal choice as to if a Domme has sex with a sub. Even more so than if a woman has sex with a man, in the nilla world. We have more to look at and consider. For some subs, having sex with them deepens an emotional attachment, and in some cases, where the sub does not have a clear sense of self, (unlike you My pasty lil friend) they get attached too fast, expect too much, and get hurt when you dont call 100 times a day to say you love them, or what have you. Sex is purely animal to some Domme's and I personally think thats awesome...I mean..honestly, its an emotional experience, I think Jim Morrison quoted Blake as saying..."Blake said that the body was the soul's prison unless the five senses are fully developed and open. He considered the senses the 'windows of the soul.' When sex involves all the senses intensely, it can be like a mystical experence." I honestly couldnt agree more. Thats why I love D/s. You can have sooo much more fun with something that is as total as a subs comitment to pleasing, instead of some inept ape laying on you rutting like a pig. Just My personal opinion. So, keep your head up kiddo. Dont let em beat you down for saying bone...I happen to like that term.

Kirren -> RE: Sex and the Sub (11/13/2007 7:42:11 PM)
I really didnt realize that people in this life style were so judgemental.

Aswad -> RE: Sex and the Sub (11/13/2007 7:44:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kirren I really didnt realize that people in this life style were so judgemental. Welcome to this particular corner of the vanilla world... [;)] Health, al-Aswad.

FullfigRIMaam -> RE: Sex and the Sub (11/13/2007 8:52:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aswad Welcome to this particular corner of the vanilla world... [;)] Health, al-Aswad. Good thing you're not judging us based on your perceptions and definitions. [sm=rolleyes.gif] This corner is where females who run the show hang, and if some women preferring respectful conversation is too vanilla/offensive to your edgier sensibilities, you can always see yourself out. M

MsCfromMelbourne -> RE: Sex and the Sub (11/14/2007 1:05:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood I'm curious - why is it sex if a male penetrates a female, but not sex if a female penetrates a male with a strap on? Both are sex in my opinion. I consider oral worship of Mistress, giving hand jobs (tie and tease) and forcing a sub to masturbate pretty much sex too. Plenty of Dommes say they "don't have sex with subs", but they do all these things in their dungeons. I don't ask and I don't judge. People have very different definitions of sex to me. But I am DYING of curiosity now!!!! Those Dommes who do not have sex with subs, WHO do you have sex with? Surely not vanillas (of either gender)? Other Dominants?

RumpusParable -> RE: Sex and the Sub (11/14/2007 1:42:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne Those Dommes who do not have sex with subs, WHO do you have sex with? Surely not vanillas (of either gender)? Other Dominants? Vanillas and fellow dominants.

canupleaseme -> RE: Sex and the Sub (11/14/2007 2:11:20 AM)
In the past when I worked pro domme in a dungeon sex was never involved in play. Some cbt but no sexual release or stimulation other than painful. I had casual play partners after that and out of the 4 different people I played with fairly reguarly I only had sex with one of them and that was a fem sub and because it felt like the next obvious thing to do after playing. With my boy now we are in a commited relationship and I cant imagine not having sex with him. Its always on my terms he doesnt ask for it and I decide how we are doing it, I'd say its 50/50 as to who is on top. It doesnt make me feel any less dominant by having sex with him or make him seem any less submissive. He has paid attention to detail and is an excellent lover and I emjoy th fact that he has taken the time to get to know me and what I like. I had a maid in the past (sissy) and there was absolutely no sexual contact whatsoever in fact she was chastised. I think It can work well either way and there is no right or wrong. In the past when I had non sexual play partners I got my sexing from the vanillas lol

joanus -> RE: Sex and the Sub (11/14/2007 4:48:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kirren So, keep your head up kiddo. Dont let em beat you down for saying bone...I happen to like that term. Thanks for the moral support Kirren, and I like that term to its kinda funny sounding....bone[:D] I don't know what I would have done if I was alone with all these judgemental people...Oh wait yes I do I'd just ignore them like usual......ok screw it, the sarcastic mood isn't with me today. Anywho Thanks its nice to know that I'm not the only person here who doesn't think Monocromaticly. YAY for Intalectual Prolifuration and Self Actualization. LOL Hows that for young and immature, that will send half of them running to the dictionary. Also to those of you who didn't get the cute joke(explained below) there is an old Mexican Proverb: If more than three people say your an ass, then your an ass. So more than three people say Im cute, guess what that means. I act like I have a big ego and say Im cute and all, but I grew up with people calling me ugly, geeky, scranny, etc. So I dont really think Im all that good looking, I simply play the arogant egotistal angle to hide that fact. Great now I'm teaching Psych 101 [>:]

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